A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean when a man wants to kiss you in the dark?Call me paranoid but I get the feeling that's a bad sign.I have self image related problems and far less from perfect but I'm always trying to improve the quality of my life- although it may take a while. I'm also due for Cognitive Behavior Therapy at the start of June.Saying all this I have done a'lot to try and learn about men over the last 7 years off my life, so I know how important women's appearances are to men.It's just that I will never be perfect, but I am trying to improve myself in every way.I just get a bad feeling that if asks a woman to turn off the light then that is a bad sign.I'm much rather kiss someone older and who would appreciate me over someone my own age who asks me to turn off the light.From a mans perspective, why would he do this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, suella  +, writes (30 June 2014):
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting the lights off,I feel more at ease because of insecurities about myself and maybe he has some as well.
A
male
reader, methuselah +, writes (2 June 2014):
Hi,
It's hard to tell. I was once with a girl who I sensed was uncomfortable being 'seen' down there so I made sure the light was off. I felt her relax more when the light was off. If that is not the case with you, then it could be that he has insecurities about things or, it could be that he likes the lights off.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 May 2014):
 Well there cna be several reasons why he does it.
1. because he senses you are holding back. With the lights out YOU might be more comfortable.
2. HE is more comfortable with the lights out.
3. He is trying to "set" a seductive ambiance.
IF you prefer the lights on speak up.
I personally, don't think turning the lights off is a bad sign at all.
And I don't think a guy would ask you to turn the light off because he is finding it hard to look at you.
Some people think candle lit rooms are romantic, others think it's a fire hazard.
Some like the lights on, some off. As simple as that.
...............................
A
male
reader, devont +, writes (31 May 2014):
 I can only guess he likes kissing in the dark? I don't think it is anything to do with you. If it bothers you, ask to keep the light on, but I really wouldn't worry about it. If he wants to kiss you, then that's good, isn't it?!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (31 May 2014):
 Maybe he senses you are unhappy with yourself and is trying to keep you comfortable by not insisting the lights are on? Just because he's a man doesn't mean he's not sensitive to your feelings and concerns. Not all men think only of themselves and their sexual needs when with a woman.
I don't get much trust from you toward his motives, so why are you allowing yourself to be put in a position that makes you wonder if you are physically worthy of his interest?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2014): It's just a matter of preference. Some people are openly affectionate, some aren't. Some women like men who are aggressive; and some like men who are easy-going.
If you are going for therapy, you should express these thoughts to your mental-health professional. You can't study men like a science project; and think you'll be prepared to satisfy a man's every wish. That's too much of a burden to place on yourself.
You'll never totally satisfy any man, nor will you find a man who can give you 100% of what you want and need. You're lucky if you find someone who really loves you enough to try. You would be wise to be appreciative of even the smallest effort.
He likes to kiss in the dark. It adds intrigue and mystery to the act. You feel more alone together, and can focus more on each other without distraction from other things around you. I don't think he meant to alarm you. I think maybe that is a symptom of your own anxiety and you may be a little too eager to please. If it really bothers you, please tell him. You shouldn't allow yourself to be submissive to anything that upsets you.
Until you get the help you need, do the best you can to be calm. There is no hidden message behind a guy who likes to kiss in the dark. It has nothing to do with how you look, or that he's up to something.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (31 May 2014):
 Could be he asks every girl to turn the light off, could be his preference. Maybe he lacks confidence himself?
How well do you know him, is he new in your life? Maybe get to know him better, and any guy you want to kiss, so its natural and with somebody who knows you well.
Oh and by the way, 'nobody' is perfect, just perfect for somebody. We all have body hang-ups so learn to love yourself.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2014): No idea. You could ask, but I think you should just move on.
By the way, don't improve yourself for a man - ever. Improve yourself if YOU want to improve something for YOUR benefit - not theirs.
...............................
|
