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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
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More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 29 May 2014: Have you ever asked her specifically to be your girlfriend? Is that what you want?... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 18 April 2014: Okay, I just read the "followup" I think you posted? (you can be brave and set up an account you know)
Based on all your questions and comments about this guy, why are you even trying figure out whether or not you should date him.
Little red flag... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 17 April 2014: Obviously he's not glued to his phone 24/7 either. I would just write this one off, especially if he's the too bossy/too keen one.
Good luck and I hope you find an ordinary nice type of guy!... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 17 April 2014: I am certain she's a scammer. I wouldn't give her any more thought and do not spend one more single penny on "her." ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 17 April 2014: But if you want to be annoyed by his lack of clairvoyance then by all means, go ahead and do so. It just will result in the end of the relationship and I don't really think that is what you want. Or is it?... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 17 April 2014: Obviously, you do have to spell it out for him. Were you hoping you were dating a mind reader? I know it's so delicious to have a man know you inside out without having to tell him but that is just generally not the case…
It's reasonable for many... (read in full...)
I don't deserve the way he ended it
Q. My ex broke up with me over a year. It was nasty. He's my first and it was his longest and the most serious relationship. However, he left without giving me the real reason. I initiated contact a few times. He still told me he loved me, but he never ...
A. 17 April 2014: Is this your ex? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-i-failed-as-a-girlfriend.html
Definitely time for counseling, woman! You are not in a healthy place if this is so difficult for you!
... (read in full...)
When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?
Q. When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....
A. 17 April 2014: Did any of these answers help you with your question?... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 17 April 2014: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-he-too-bossy-or-too-keen-.html
Is this you?
I get the sense that an internal alarm is ringing loudly for you about this guy. I would listen to that alarm.
Maybe ease up on how often you see him as it's only be... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 17 April 2014: Hi OP, did you get an answer from "her"? I do hope you stop spending money on a potential scam. Get a new phone and number if you have to get rid of this scammer! I would also contact your phone company's fraud hotline for more help.
Let us know... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 16 April 2014: P.S. And just to add an additional cost saving idea to your list, why are you driving an out of warranty SUV? Do you live in a state that gets massive snowstorms or haul a lot of stuff around?
You are paying more for gas and any repairs are now all ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 16 April 2014: I can see why you are disappointed that he wasn't aware enough to know that you simply can't afford the trip. Perhaps he just wasn't thinking and assumed that you had the resources to be able to afford it.
You met him in a coffee shop, so perh... (read in full...)
Feel like I've been dropped by my best friend for no reason. How should I react?
Q. I've had a female bestfriend now for about 5 years, shes the only female bestfriend I have and now i'm starting to question our friendship. It had kinda been building up, but now I don't really know how to react to it. ...
A. 16 April 2014: Hi there, if your friend is in your age range of 16-17 then she's been your best friend since she was 11-12. Now, I'm very far out of my teens but I can tell you that looking back, most of my friendship mistakes and regrets at that age are based on ... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 16 April 2014: Okay, you've been dating this guy for one week and he's already paid a couple of times?
Why not relax, find something less expensive to do for the next few dates and pay your half and see if you actually like him? You seem very worried that he's... (read in full...)
Why do I have to pretend to care when no one has cared themselves enough to invite me along those journeys of life?
Q. I'm discouraged, confused, heartbroken, etc... It doesn't what I say, or how I ask it, no one cares enough to help. How do I know if a girl likes me? I've never been able to tell. How would I tell myself, as opposed when I'm unsure about a girl, and ...
A. 16 April 2014: If you've reached age 26-29 and have trouble reading people social cues then you need some coaching.
If you are bitter and angry people will avoid you and this is an ongoing cycle. Bitter and angry that people are avoiding you and then they avoi... (read in full...)
I don't deserve the way he ended it
Q. My ex broke up with me over a year. It was nasty. He's my first and it was his longest and the most serious relationship. However, he left without giving me the real reason. I initiated contact a few times. He still told me he loved me, but he never ...
A. 16 April 2014: I wonder if you think about him every single day because you've engrained a habit of doing so. Perhaps you are feeling bad about something or you have kept something that reminds you of him, and that triggers the thought?
Have you considered talk... (read in full...)
My friend down the street is befriending my worst enemy who also lives on the same street!
Q. A few months ago my neighbor (who used to be a friend) called my husband up and proclaimed her love for him and with no inhibitions said she wanted to sleep with him and divorce her husband. My husband told me right away and we have shut this ...
A. 16 April 2014: I would simply distance myself from Jill as well. Perhaps Jill likes drama and figures there'll be some good dirt coming from the attempted husband thief (ATF)?
Rise above it, you don't need to contribute your own negative feelings to the alre... (read in full...)
Do I love him? Does he love me?
Q. Hello friends please help me am confused am I in love if yes what do I do about it.so here goes my story. I met this guy two years ago we are classmates he is good looking. my friends feel he likes me I dnt know that. He acts weird in fron...
A. 16 April 2014: Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the most unattractive man that you know. Now imagine that he displays the same behaviors that this very handsome man does. Does this change the way you feel about him?
... (read in full...)
He was chatting with other women while I was helping my dying mother
Q. I think I might had been on denial.So many years of marriage and I thought was a good marraige. Problems,yes,some,but I thought we loved each other.I felt that he loved me, he cared for me,but I was kind of doing my best to keep the marriage hap...
A. 16 April 2014: Cerberus is absolutely right in suggesting the bereavement counselor! First call. Then the sharkiest divorce attorney you can find. Good luck.... (read in full...)
He was chatting with other women while I was helping my dying mother
Q. I think I might had been on denial.So many years of marriage and I thought was a good marraige. Problems,yes,some,but I thought we loved each other.I felt that he loved me, he cared for me,but I was kind of doing my best to keep the marriage hap...
A. 16 April 2014: He sounds like this husband. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-go-back-to-my-husband-with.html
I would advise you to see a lawyer before you make any moves. A friend of mine informed me that there are a lot of mistakes people make whic... (read in full...)
When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?
Q. When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....
A. 16 April 2014: I think women project, men objectify, if I sum up this article: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2739403/
Basically, you are thinking about this using your female brain and you apparently can't imagine for yourself the type of visual 'zin... (read in full...)
I support my boyfriend financially, so why does he still complain?
Q. Why is he always complaining about money and his life? I'm tired:( So my boyfriend had to stop working because his visa expired and he has to wait till he gets his renewed one. He didn't save up while he was working so I've being supporting hi...
A. 15 April 2014: Have you heard from him yet?... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 15 April 2014: I believe she is a scammer and you are being conned. She's not paying to exchange messages. It's a scam to keep you texting and charging you for messages.
I would cut contact immediately and contact your mobile and date provider to ask for help in d... (read in full...)
Pregnant despite the pill -- how to tell the new b/f?
Q. Hi everyone I have a bit of a problem and could do with some help I have been with my boyfriend for 9 weeks now I am on the pill but have just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant I'm in total shock does anyone have any advice on how to break this news ...
A. 14 April 2014: Sorry, you've been with your boyfriend for 9 weeks and haven't been using condoms as well as the pill? Oh dear.
Okay, you say to him, "Jake, this isn't easy and I'm finding this very hard to deal with so I'll just say it. The birth control has fail... (read in full...)
What should my next move be with my crush?
Q. Hey guys, Basically, an exchange student joined my university course last year and over the course of the year I developed feelings for her. I thought I got signals but she turned me down after I asked her out - her excuse was she wasnt over her e...
A. 14 April 2014: So you want her to turn you down again by either ignoring your letter or by saying 'thanks but no thanks' on the drinks date?
She's been keeping her distance from you for a year.
I'm not sure what benefit this will be to you. Do you want a personal... (read in full...)
Is she just using me for attention?
Q. So me and this girl have a history in that we tried going out but she decided it wasn't working, that's was about five months ago.. anyway she moved on very quickly. We were good friends before and we still kind of are. But in the last months I ...
A. 14 April 2014: I would simply challenge her when she says things like 'you can never leave me.'
'What do you mean, Leeane? I can never leave you how? Like as in a friend? Or as in a boyfriend? What exactly does that mean?'
Wait and listen.
'Do you remember whe... (read in full...)
I've known her forever and now I want to ask her out
Q. K guys I really like this girl and I've known her for like basically my whole life and I really want to ask her out but I don't know what I should say to her or if she even likes me like that. I'm not really the kind of guy to tell her she's pretty ...
A. 14 April 2014: 'Caley, would you go out to a movie/dinner/[whatever you guys like to do so fill in the blank here] on Friday?'
Pause here and wait for her reaction. Remember to breathe.
If she says, yes, say 'great, I'll pick you up at x time' and then go with ... (read in full...)
Why would he say I act strange and weird when I'm hanging out with my husband's friends?
Q. Hello. I am so confused, and I really hope to gain some insight. I have never had an issue with my husband hanging out with his friends. In fact, I think it's good for him. However, there are times I feel like I should be included with hanging out ...
A. 14 April 2014: "How exactly were my behavior or actions strange? Please explain further, thanks."
I think your husband is being strange by giving you this very vague and unhelpful feedback.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Unhappy in my marriage.
Q. I need advice about my marriage. My husband and I have only been married a year, but we've been together for going on 7 years in December. We have a 1 year old together. I feel like we are just coexisting and not even trying to work as a team. He...
A. 13 April 2014: Well, the marriage doesn't sound particularly healthy. You've been together since you were 15-18, late teens, and I'm pretty sure my HS boyfriend and I would have been absolutely lousy together as neither of us had any idea about real life at that ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by "emotionally invested"?
Q. If a man who is known for being extremely bad at expressing his emotions but who you think fancies you, blurts out that he is 'emotionally invested' in you/your future, what does that mean? That he cares as a friend? Or more?...
A. 13 April 2014: If he's not asking you out he's probably not available…. but he does care that you are happy with your future would be my guess.
Why not ask him a follow-up question?
If he's in your age bracket and hasn't asked you out, I would not hold your bre... (read in full...)
How real are those 'hook up tonight' websites?
Q. I was tempted to lie about my age when I was posting this question because anyone as experienced as I am have must leaned these lessons by now but I have not. When my marriage dissolved I had been with him from the time I was 14 until i was 27. ...
A. 13 April 2014: Why even bother to get concrete evidence? He's dishonest… He may have a religious affiliation but that doesn't make him an honest, upright and trustworthy man.
Who cares why he feels compelled to do this? He does it! I would end this rela... (read in full...)
Should I text to see if he is interested, or not?
Q. I met a guy at work earlier this year and whenever he came in to the office we would talk and flirt. Finally after two months he asked me out. I gave him my # and it took him over a week to text me. We arranged to go out that weekend. It was fun and ...
A. 13 April 2014: I think at this point I would just stop texting him. You've asked him out after the last kissing session and the only thing he noticed was that there were a lot of shots…. I would let him make the next move. If it doesn't happen then it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I can't contact my Long Distance Boyfriend
Q. okay well i haven't heard from my Long Distance boyfriend in almost 3weeks and he has cancer. and well my phone broke and i don't know how he's doing. I'm worried and well he's in the hospital right now and well he says that his nurses take away ...
A. 13 April 2014: Hi cupcake! I think you could ask your parents to message his parents to get his latest status.
When you say Long Distance, do you mean that you met online and have never met in real life, or was he your boyfriend and then he moved away?... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 13 April 2014: I think she doesn't really like you as much as you like her. I would stop playing those 'mind games' as you put it. You get too hopeful when she does message you and then reality strikes when she shows that you are really really far from her top ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB falling for me?
Q. I have been in a fwb relationship for almost two months now.he generally emails me throughout the day to see how I am doing or just random talk through emails. I really connect with this man and am catching feelings. If he wasn't feeling the same ...
A. 12 April 2014: So what did you learn from the advice the aunts here gave you?... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 12 April 2014: I hope all is well and no one is being put at risk now. Best wishes to you and I do sincerely hope that your friend finds the help she so obviously needs. And I do hope that newborn has the chance for a long and healthy life.
Be brave, be kind... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 12 April 2014: Hi there, I hope you are well, were you able to make contact with the university's counseling service? I hope so! :)... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who does drugs?
Q. Would this put you off someone ?. I met a guy recently. He seems really nice,and it seems like we have things in common, but something happened today which made me feel uncomfortable. I was in a pub with him. Another woman who was in the pub...
A. 12 April 2014: For me, this would be a pass.
You'd have to get over being shocked and uncomfortable and he'd have to do something drastic and dramatic like getting a lie detector test to convince you otherwise.
Pass.
Sorry to the men who have strangers ma... (read in full...)
Friends and sex and FWB protocol in the gay world!
Q. ok guys what do you do in the following situations? 1) If you have a very attractive, flirtatious friend, who tells you every time someone you’re involved with/interested in makes advances on him. I can count at least 5 occasions where I’ve had a...
A. 11 April 2014: I'd wonder if this friend had my interests at heart or his desire for drama and affirmation…
And sadly, I have to admit that I would do my very best to use this guy's desperate attempts for affirmation, validation and attention to entertain myse... (read in full...)
Late life dilemma.
Q. I have a dilemma I hope somebody can help me with. My partner and are both 61. We've been together 4yrs and are now engaged. The problem is that we live 35 miles apart and I am the one who does all the travelling. This is due to the fact that my ...
A. 11 April 2014: I come from a background where we moved every few years. Before starting university, I was a student in 6 schools in 3 different countries. So I'm sort of on the side that says that students can survive moves and in fact can become more resilient ... (read in full...)
Why would he say I act strange and weird when I'm hanging out with my husband's friends?
Q. Hello. I am so confused, and I really hope to gain some insight. I have never had an issue with my husband hanging out with his friends. In fact, I think it's good for him. However, there are times I feel like I should be included with hanging out ...
A. 11 April 2014: Is the friend male or female?
Are you feeling excluded from all your husband's hanging out with friends?
Are you being excluded even if other wives and significant others are included?
Why would your husband report such an odd observation ... (read in full...)
Dream wedding and budget woes, am I asking for too much?
Q. My fiance and I will be together for four years the end of June. We got engaged the end of this January and I wanted to figure things out with my education before we got into the thick of wedding planning. I'll graduate with my Bachelor's in English ...
A. 11 April 2014: Will you be paying back student loans too?
If your budget is essentially $0 and your parents would have to pay off that $3000 credit card over time, if they make the minimum payments only it will take them 16 years and that $3000 credit will actu... (read in full...)
Could it be he prefers other girls but settles for me because I'm so eager to spend time with him?
Q. Hello. I have a complicated relationship with my best friend. We have known each other for two years now, and have spent a whole lot of time getting to know each other. In fact, we're together so much we are mistaken for a couple all of the time. ...
A. 11 April 2014: I think he's not flirty and touchy feely with you because he doesn't want you to gain false hope. He's known you two years and likes your company. If he wanted to date you, he's had two years to ask you out.
You could ask him out on a date and see ... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels about me?
Q. How do can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels towards me? I recently broke up with my boyfriend and not on good terms I basically wrote to him on Facebook messages that I was cheating on him and it's best if we called it ...
A. 11 April 2014: Why would he take the time to tell you how he actually feels when you sent bizarre facebook messages essentially telling him you were a cheater and were dumping him? Your behavior showed him that you were unstable, a drama queen and capable of being ... (read in full...)
Return it or wear it?
Q. My boyfriend got me a solid rose gold bangle for my birthday. It's simple, thin band that's beautiful. It's exactly my style. Only problem is that I have tiny wrists and big hands and it sits a little uncomfortable on my arm. Rubs against my wrist ...
A. 11 April 2014: Pick something else out in the rose gold color and be thankful you have a kind and generous boyfriend. Wear the new item with a big smile and enjoy it.
Would your feelings be hurt if you gave him a watch that didn't fit his wrist and he wanted to e... (read in full...)
How do I gain his friendship back?
Q. I asked one of my closest friends "W" if he liked anyone because I like him and he said that question crosses the boundary and that we talked about boundaries. I told him that we did talk about boundaries but never set them, which was true. He got ...
A. 11 April 2014: And how much of this is happening via texting and how much is happening in person? Don't text important questions, things have a way of being misconstrued without verbal and body language cues.... (read in full...)
How do I gain his friendship back?
Q. I asked one of my closest friends "W" if he liked anyone because I like him and he said that question crosses the boundary and that we talked about boundaries. I told him that we did talk about boundaries but never set them, which was true. He got ...
A. 11 April 2014: W thought he was talking with a close friend, apparently you have a crush on him and haven't been honest with him about that.
It sounds more like you are annoyed that W likes G and not you and so you were trying to mess up their friendship. W refu... (read in full...)
How do I gain his friendship back?
Q. I asked one of my closest friends "W" if he liked anyone because I like him and he said that question crosses the boundary and that we talked about boundaries. I told him that we did talk about boundaries but never set them, which was true. He got ...
A. 11 April 2014: Gosh, this sounds like something that happens in middle school, not among 18-21 year olds. Anyway, I would do what your teacher advised, if you are 18, then is she like your senior advisor or something? Or it you are older is this your college ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 11 April 2014: So if she won't come clean, tell him and prepare for the end of the 'friendship.' ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 11 April 2014: And this woman is your best friend?... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my stubborn mother-in-law?
Q. My husband and I dated for 7 years and married for 4 years with 3 children. He was a very obedient son he will never make any decisions without his mom's input. We lived together for 2 years in an apartment (both worked) until his mom talked him ...
A. 10 April 2014: Definitely move. Either with him or without him. But find a new place to live right away.... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 10 April 2014: Go and see the doctor and explain your symptoms. Depression isn't detected through bloodwork, though it does have physical effects.
And if you are in the US, yes, most universities provide that service for their students. After all, it's a stre... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: Just saw your followup. So your friend is a prostitute? A sex worker, only one without ethics? Is she also an addict? If she's stealing food and money even though she is being supported then perhaps she has an addiction to feed. If she's been ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: P.S. One of my good friends is a doctor who used to take care of HIV patients as part of his practice. He said he lost track of how many patients came into him, suddenly HIV positive, bewildered because they had done nothing that would cause them to ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: How is it that you are best friends with a woman who has lots of unprotected sex to the point that she gets pregnant and sleeps with men who may have HIV? At a certain point, I think I'd tire of the drama and self-destructive tendencies.
A... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 9 April 2014: Maybe she just thinks it's normal for both of you to answer messages after 3 or 7 or more days?
If you fancy this girl, it's time to forget about dating her, she's clearly not interested.
If you are casual acquaintances with this girl, well, yo... (read in full...)
Is my FWB falling for me?
Q. I have been in a fwb relationship for almost two months now.he generally emails me throughout the day to see how I am doing or just random talk through emails. I really connect with this man and am catching feelings. If he wasn't feeling the same ...
A. 8 April 2014: The signs a guy is falling for you is that he makes an effort to take you out, to ask you what you like so he can surprise you with his thoughtfulness, he introduces you to his friends, he moves heaven and earth to be with you even if there is no ... (read in full...)
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