A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What would you do in this situation? I met this cute guy on my last trip last year to a foreign country. I was by myself and I went to this bar. He owns it. We started talking and he offered to show me around. Was very sweet, but we never were intimate, but kept in touch during this year through Facebook. I was going on another trip this May, and his country is bordering the country I am visiting right now. I thought because I liked his country so much and... Him, may be I will stop by for a week. My vacation time is pretty generous, but of course not unlimited. Basically another 2 weeks I could spare. I also wanted to take a one week trip to another country that I ve never been before. When he heard that I will be in his country, he offered to take me to the mountains. He said, I won't be able to go there without a car, and he can show me around. I looked it up and this place is unbelievable. I, of course started thinking about it, and dreaming. I didn't now exact days of me coming to his country, but knew that for sure it won't be later than 12th of June. He sounded like he is flexible, and said, just call me when you get here. Yesterday I sent to Him message saying that more likely I will be arriving on a 9th. No responce, though I see that he saw my message and after that I saw that he was on line yesterday and today. I sent to him another message around 3 pm today, as I I really need to get airplane tickets and book hotel, that I really need to know if we are still n for the mountains. No answer until 4 hours later, and this is what he says: that he is busy until 14th, and after then we can go. Also, may be because his english is not perfect, he said: until then...you are at your will. My thoughts on it that he should have told me about his plans, knowing that I will be there earlier than he will be available. After all I am the one that travelling, and I can't sit around in a hotel waiting for him to go with me. And second, now judging by his reaction I am not sure that I should even count on him to Make this short trip. What if on a 14th he ll tell me that something else came up. Overall, this whole thing left a bit bad impression on me, and I don't know what to do. On one hand I want to go, on another I feel ignored. I don't know may be he met someone in a mean time, which is fine, but is it worth for me to wait till 14th? I love his country and I could definitely find things to do for 4 days there, just have big doubts now If this mountain trip will ever happen. Now, I am just thinking may be I need to just skip his country and go along with the rest of my plans. Need opinions, thank you.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2014):
 I would also remove him from your travel plans. I would not go out of my way to stop by his country or bar.
I think he is back peddling like a DUCK on his offer to show you his country and the mountains. Why waste a couple of days there, if you can't get around yourself?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2014): Thank you everyone for your inputs. Tisha, we are just friends, and yes, you are right we didn spend this much time together to get to know each other. There was a certain connection, we talked a lot. After I left he quit smoking, and eat meat, he said, so I had some influence on him.
I travel with my friend now, but Monday I will be on my own. It's nice to have a company especially abroad. I thought this will turn out to be this perfect trip, but his reaction makes me thinks that I will just keep on traveling without considering him at all. My friend advices me to still go to his country, don't wait for the 14th specifically but let him know that I am there and just see what happens
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 June 2014):
 Okay, you met and had a nice time with a guy who owns a bar. You are merely friends (unless we missed something?)
You have encountered the international traveler's version of "how lovely to meet you, you must come visit us sometime" aka "it was so nice to meet you, we absolutely MUST do lunch!"
You're dreaming too hard about a guy who hasn't shown more than a nice friendly interest in you and perhaps a propensity for generous offers he has no really interest in fulfilling (much like the 'call me, we'll do lunch!' ladies]
Remove him entirely from your travel plans.
He's not going to provide what you are "dreaming" about ad it's rather pointless to pursue such an iffy friendship, really.
Skip his country and don't bother to discuss your travel plans with him. And don't show up and surprise him. I suspect there are *complications* in his love life (okay, he has a girlfriend) and his response was to keep you sweet and try to remove the temptation to do more than that invite as you would find his currentl girlfriend in no time if you visited.
He's offering to take you to the mountains so he has a shot of keeping you clueless.
Dump! Asap! Lose him!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 June 2014):
It's hard to know, but if you'd go to his country either way then you should still go. Don't make him being there a major factor, then you won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
Also, you could probably still pull off a trip to the mountain. Most places have shuttles of some sort.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 From his behaviour so far, I think maybe you should concentrate on doing your own thing. Scheduling your who trip around him, when he may or may not let you down is a bit of a gamble really.
Maybe its something you could discuss with him again and judge his reaction. At the end of the day, he doesn't really know you in real life that well - you met on a trip about a year ago so we don't really know how serious he is when he says he will take you up the mountains. Its one thing to say that to someone you have met briefly and stayed in touch with via text and facebook, another to take time off work, and go through with the reality of it.
Mark
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2014): Mark, it's not that I am counting on romance. I am not in love with him or anything like that. I have plenty of dates in my own country. Yes, I like him, but at the same realize that it's just a vacation.
What I was asking if its worth for me to fly and wait for him to take this trip thati can't do by myself, judging by his behavor.
And yes, you right, I think it was more talk than actuall intention.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (3 June 2014):
Hello,
To be straight to the point, I think you need to accept that this was a holiday (vacation) romance a year ago that isn't really going to go anywhere. You both live in different countries, your not sure if he is genuine or genuinely interested or if he has found someone else. You don't want to pay for a trip and find you have wasted your time, money and effort. Even if you go and fall madly in love, then what? Will it be another 12 months before you meet again?
Its often the case that people meet on trips abroad, get on well with someone, stay in touch and it ends up in that limbo stage of SAYING you will meet, do nice things, etc and it not quite seeming to happen.
Personally I would move on, it would be nice to see him but if you are hoping for romance, I don't think its going to work with the distance, etc.
Mark
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