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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 July 2014: I agree with Euphoric29, having read parts of this thread and others you have started.
Best wishes to you.... (read in full...)
I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should I be worried ?
Q. I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he h...
A. 13 July 2014: Do you use condoms with him? If you don't, then I think it's a fair question to ask why he even has them around. I know I would wonder why there were condoms around my house if I'd found any.
Does he have roommates? Does he have friends who come... (read in full...)
How could I possibly tell this girl that the reason we can't be friends right now is because I still have feelings for her?
Q. There's this girl that goes to the same classes as I do. At first I had a major crush on her and couldn't stop thinking of her. I told her how I felt but she said that she didn't feel the same and she wasn't ready to be with anyone else as she just ...
A. 13 July 2014: You've discovered that you DO mind not being in a romantic relationship with her. Your 'mistake' was allowing the relationship to become something you didn't actually want. You were allowing the contact because you didn't want to feel rude or to ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about the way I acted with my boyfriend. How do I forgive myself and move on from this?
Q. Recently, i've been feeling very guilty about my past behaviour to my boyfriend. When we first got together everything was fine, i was fine, and he went of with his friends fairly regularly (once a month at least). However they all went through a ...
A. 13 July 2014: When you start to beat yourself up about how you acted, take that part of yourself that isn't involved in the guilt-trip, the eternal deep inner self, and just start to watch yourself send yourself on the guilt-trip.
In other words, when you star... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 July 2014: Did you spend any of the past few months actually practicing flirting or talking to women at all?
I provided you two links which would lead you to the manuals you said you wished existed. Did you read any of them?
Good luck, I think you'll b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 12 July 2014: Go to http://www.thehotline.org/help/ and either call or do the online chat link to the counselor. ... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 11 July 2014: Thank you for following up! It's good to hear things have worked out for you. Best wishes for continuing happiness.... (read in full...)
Is it time to call quits on my relationship?
Q. Is it time to call quits on my relationship? I've been with my boyfriend for close to five years. We've had some amazing times together but the cons have been building up to boiling point lately. I've never liked how disrespectfully he speak...
A. 11 July 2014: I vote for 'run' too.
A couple of red flag words were in your post: "boiling point,"how disrespectfully he speaks to his parents," "curse/speak rudely," "his temper flares up."
You've said you are apprehensive about marrying "this kind of man."
Y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 11 July 2014: You are in an abusive relationship and don't recognize that you are. He is abusive and threatening and has gotten physical with you.
Leave, as soon as you safely can. You may need some help getting free and I recommend you seek guidance from expe... (read in full...)
What do women think about men, fitness and fights?
Q. So, I'm a pretty peaceful guy. I'm going to school for biochemistry (which I love), and spend most of my life in the lab or library. I study hard, get good grades and generally enjoy prefer mental work as opposed to anything physical -- except for ...
A. 11 July 2014: When you say you are having more success with girls, does that mean that you are asking them out on dates? Or does it mean that they look at you from afar?
Guys who think that getting into a fight to defend some girls 'honor' or retaliate for some... (read in full...)
We were LDR for 8 months, then we moved in together, we've both made mistakes but the trust is now gone and I feel suffocated. We are broken. How do we get through this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and we are very much in love. For eight months of our relationship, we were in long-distance. He soon moved away from his small hometown (family, lifetime friends, a job he loved - ...
A. 11 July 2014: Just to add, you talked about your ex-husband with this description: "whom I feel sorry for because I pretty much up and left with no real warning because I was unhappy"
So you basically left the ex without warning and without explanation.
Why d... (read in full...)
We were LDR for 8 months, then we moved in together, we've both made mistakes but the trust is now gone and I feel suffocated. We are broken. How do we get through this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and we are very much in love. For eight months of our relationship, we were in long-distance. He soon moved away from his small hometown (family, lifetime friends, a job he loved - ...
A. 11 July 2014: You say you are very much in love but then you list all these things that suggest that you aren't very much in love. I think you are working off wishful thinking and assumed that the texting/FB/phone stuff was the real you and the real him ... (read in full...)
Ex Blocked me on Facebook, but won't tell me why?
Q. OK, brief story…at 30 years old, I met my first real love. He moves around a lot for his job, so he admitted to me that he had never been “in love” before either. He had, had his heart broken at a young age, and always shied away from real ...
A. 11 July 2014: Why the sudden block? He has a girlfriend and he doesn't want to explain his exes to her.
Take it as a blessing, be thankful and cut contact.
Think of him as Mr. No Big Deal. ;)
(P.S. He sounds like an annoying and selfish guy -- ok I think he's a... (read in full...)
Is my husband mentally abusing me?
Q. Ok I don't know where to start if am honest in 21 years old and have a 2 month old baby. I've been with my husband 3 years and married for one. I am occasionally told from family I need to leave him as I'm getting abused. I have lost all my ...
A. 11 July 2014: Please give yourself and your child a big gift. Go to this website http://www.womensaid.org.uk and ask them for help.
I know it's difficult for women in your situation to reach out for help and get free of abuse but my dear, you have your enti... (read in full...)
How do I initiate affection despite my husband's efforts to "push buttons"?
Q. My husband does this thing where he will act aloof, distant, angry. Then sometimes after a bout of that he will accuse me of being distant. He will say that I am the one that goes leaves the room when he is the one that leaves when I enter a room. ...
A. 11 July 2014: He had head trauma? A brain injury? May I ask if you were with him before his alcoholism and/or the TBI?... (read in full...)
How do I initiate affection despite my husband's efforts to "push buttons"?
Q. My husband does this thing where he will act aloof, distant, angry. Then sometimes after a bout of that he will accuse me of being distant. He will say that I am the one that goes leaves the room when he is the one that leaves when I enter a room. ...
A. 11 July 2014: Did you ever hear about 'gaslighting'? Something about the way you describe your husband's tactics suggests he's manipulating you in this negative way.
You say no one's perfect and you're right but why would you want to spend your life with some... (read in full...)
Motherhood is sapping my self confidence.
Q. I am a 22 year old, i use to have alot of confidence, was very bubbly, happy and had a close group of friends. Now i have a child and a boyfriend, and i am very happy with family life, but i just don't do nothing for myself anymore, i know being a ...
A. 11 July 2014: What is wrong with you? It sounds like you know that there is something off-balance and wrong about the relationship with your boyfriend. You are isolated from friends and family and seem to think that your needs don't matter.
How old is your chil... (read in full...)
I don't want to flush 21 years of marriage but something's got to change!
Q. Well, you've probably never heard this one before. My husband and I live next door to his mother. She's a lovely person but has the habit of being taken advantage of by her children, grandchildren, etc.. For years, like 21, I've had to remind him ...
A. 11 July 2014: It does sound like a very difficult situation.
I have to ask, why can't you just write the check for the class trip?
If it were flushing 21 years of awesome marriage and great harmony and perfect understanding, that would be one kind of flushing... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 9 July 2014: It's very difficult to avoid date-rape, which is essentially being sexually assaulted and/or raped by someone you trusted. That's why it's such a terrible crime. Just like domestic abuse is a crime, but women still find themselves being beaten by ... (read in full...)
I need help understanding why he won't see me!
Q. So I've got this friend of like 7 years, but recently he refuses to see me. We used to be the best of friends and then we got together. It wasnt easy as we were very shy and alot of people made it hard. It ended, by him, I was hurt but we stay...
A. 9 July 2014: You say he has an insecure and jealous girlfriend which coincides with his cutting any direct contact 18 months ago.
My take on why this is happening is that he feels a bit sorry for you and doesn't want to cut you off entirely. So he keeps his ... (read in full...)
I can walk around naked and he doesn't bat an eyelid!
Q. Hi I'm new to this it's my first ever time asking anyone for help really, I feel you you as I am in a situation like it :-( I have been with my husband for 15 years he was my first boyfriend we have kids together and everything was ok really u...
A. 9 July 2014: As this has been happening only in the last year then perhaps consider that he's feeling his age and his sexual life diminishing. Has there been an issue with him being able to keep an erection? That could have taken the wind out of his sails, so to ... (read in full...)
Boob size and pain issues! Normal?
Q. hey I m 22. I recently noticed that my left breast is bigger than the right one. Is this normal and can being in a sexual involvement cause this? Also both my breasts pain a lot for 3 to 4 days every month? what could it be? please help me ......
A. 9 July 2014: One breast being larger than the other is normal. It has nothing to do with sexual involvement. (If sexual stimulation made breasts larger then most women would have breasts so large they would wind up being unable to move due to the excessive size ... (read in full...)
Annual holiday without your partner? What are your opinions?
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend for 16 months now and I love her loads, though the past few months have been tough. On our first date she mentioned that she would like to travel around Thailand, which is something I have always wanted to do and...
A. 9 July 2014: So you now you know your girlfriend isn't someone you can share deep secrets with as she does drink and will lie first then blame the drink.
You also know that she will be taking a holiday with her girlfriends every year.
You are not "glad" t... (read in full...)
Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in?
Q. I am not sure what to make of my crush's physical signals. Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in? This guy I like is sort of a friend of a friend, so I know him, and we've gotten to know each oth...
A. 9 July 2014: I wouldn't take these actions as anything more than they are: feeling comfortable enough to be close. You've described what my 6 year old nephew liked to do, snuggle! Even as a newborn, he liked physical contact. His older brother didn't care all ... (read in full...)
Love triangle or 3 broken hearts?
Q. My fiancee and I have been having threesome's and I have been letting him sleep with other women. I don't really have a problem as long as I am involved... he doesn't feel comfortable letting me sleep with other men which is annoying and stressful ...
A. 8 July 2014: I have no experience with threesomes. What I've gleaned from this site is that you need to have impeccable communication, complete trust and the ability to call it quits when things aren't going well. I'm not seeing those 3 key components in your ... (read in full...)
I don't deserve how she ended the relationship
Q. My ex and I were together for about 20 months. Both women. She broke up with me recently and blind sided me. Never saw it coming. Truth be told, I don't really think she did, either. During the conversation it happened in, she at first kept saying ...
A. 7 July 2014: My guess is that she was hiding something from you and just took the coward's way out. She couldn't work up the nerve to tell you and simply moved on.
I would have a ritual cleansing of her from your life. Set up a little safe place to burn stuf... (read in full...)
Does my male gay bestfriend like me -- I'm a girl!??
Q. My gay bestfriend who strongly identifies as gay is very camp,dates ,flirts,hooks up ,cries over guys all the time ,said he wanted a family with a husband,he even drags,When we met we became close very fast,and spent a lot of time together,he was ...
A. 7 July 2014: He sounds a bit desperate for affection and affirmation, to the point that he's acting like a teenage still struggling with his orientation and even how to behave to someone for whom he has fond feelings but not true sexual attraction.
I'd back off ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend living with me temporarily the love is dying, what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years now and the love is seriously dying out. We have a few past personal issues but that isn't what's pushing us apart. Recently, about 3 or so months ago, he got evicted from his...
A. 7 July 2014: I would get him out of your parents' house as soon as possible. What is he doing to get his own place?
Where are his friends? Where are the rest of his family?
Alternatively, if he lacks the funds to move, maybe you should move out for the time bei... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says for our relationship to survive I need to start surprising him sexually
Q. Quick and short... My boyfriend says that for our relationship to survive I need to start "surprising" him sexually. One of his versions of being surprised is a spontaneous blowjob in the car. That's pretty much all the hints he has given me! An...
A. 7 July 2014: What is he doing to make things better for YOU in this relationship?
My take on this is that he's checked out of the relationship and is making you do all the work, both emotional and sexual, because he can't or won't.
I would do what you are comf... (read in full...)
How do I accept that my appearance is ordinary?
Q. I've been recently watching porn videos (not masturbating just missing sex) and I'm surprised at how flawless some of the actors are. How can people look like that? This was amateur and she didn't have a blemish on her! How can I accept that I h...
A. 20 June 2014: I see I responded on that other question too.
I keep repeating myself.
Therapy.
Therapy.
Therapy.
Therapy.
Therapy.
Therapy.
You need it if you are still running the same negative thoughts for years now.
... (read in full...)
He's a recovering alcoholic, not yet divorced from his wife and 3 months post-breakup with his girlfriend. Is it reasonable to keep dating him and see how it goes?
Q. He's a recovering alcoholic (2 years and 3 months, attends AA) He is separated for 2.5 years, not yet divorced, while he is paying his wife for the business they had together He broke up with his girlfriend 3 months ago. I have been seei...
A. 20 June 2014: I personally would wait to date a guy with this type of history until the divorce was final and he was about a year out from the last girlfriend. But that's just me. You know your limits and have some expectations. If he's sticking to being healthy ... (read in full...)
My husband, a veteran, has extreme anger issues
Q. I am well aware that no marriage is perfect. Mine is one example, but unfortunately, I think it has gone too far. My husband loves to spend money--two days ago he spent almost $900 on one single comic book just for the heck of it. There was th...
A. 20 June 2014: Thank you, Honeypie! For the clarification and the links.
Dear OP, please do get yourself the support you need if you decide to stay. And perhaps get that support even if you decide to leave!
And OP, just for the record, Honeypie is one of my fa... (read in full...)
Does this older man have a thing for me?
Q. Does this older man have a thing for me? I know him through work but don't work directly with him, he is always and am not paranoid others have noticed that he always stares at me, when i chat to him i try and be professional and to be fair so does ...
A. 20 June 2014: The only way to find out is to be patient and continue to observe him. Many people have trouble making eye contact so that's not a good indicator.
What sort of workplace are you in?
Is dating in the workplace acceptable practice?
Is it possible ... (read in full...)
My husband, a veteran, has extreme anger issues
Q. I am well aware that no marriage is perfect. Mine is one example, but unfortunately, I think it has gone too far. My husband loves to spend money--two days ago he spent almost $900 on one single comic book just for the heck of it. There was th...
A. 20 June 2014: What kept you from getting help when he tried to crash the car?
Let go of needing to present a happy couple picture to the family. That may be keeping you from getting the help you need.
You already know that no marriage is perfect. So stop tryi... (read in full...)
How do I accept that my appearance is ordinary?
Q. I've been recently watching porn videos (not masturbating just missing sex) and I'm surprised at how flawless some of the actors are. How can people look like that? This was amateur and she didn't have a blemish on her! How can I accept that I h...
A. 19 June 2014: All you got out of our answers was "body foundation"? Really?
Good luck, OP, seek out that CBT. Your filters are not doing you any favors.... (read in full...)
I've been defriended on facebook and don't know what to do about it!
Q. I am not sure what's happened. Between yesterday and today the only thing that's changed is I texted a group text "Hey guys, are you going to the party?" No response. Then today I find myself defriended by a person I had a connection with. Sure...
A. 19 June 2014: And just to be clear, I didn't write that piece about friends coming into your life. I have heard it many times and for some reason your question pulled it out of my memory banks. I tried to find the author but obviously didn't get very far in my ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend called me names and hasn't called in a week. Is it over?
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my current bf for 4 years, for past 3 months we are in LDR as he has to work overseas. We had our ups and downs, nowadays we have more downs than ups. He is always calling me names or belittling me whenever possible,...
A. 19 June 2014: Start playing some great breakup type of music and ROCK OUT! "I Will Survive!" Put that on as loud as the neighbors can tolerate and SING YOUR HEART OUT!
P.S. The guy is a creep, thank goodness you are rid of him!... (read in full...)
I've been defriended on facebook and don't know what to do about it!
Q. I am not sure what's happened. Between yesterday and today the only thing that's changed is I texted a group text "Hey guys, are you going to the party?" No response. Then today I find myself defriended by a person I had a connection with. Sure...
A. 19 June 2014: Ah, yes, the wondering why the change would be a bit of a puzzle. How about this idea, contemplate how this situation right here right now will feel in a year's time. Then in five years time.
Does that change your perception of it at all?
I thi... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts on the Mrs. America Pagaent?
Q. I was wondering what people actually thought about the MRS America contest. Do people think it is a good thing for married women to try out for or do they feel sorry for these women trying out or that they may have self esteem issues and need ...
A. 19 June 2014: I don't really think too often about pageants, except when some of the children's ones hit the news for one reason or another. Those can make me cringe.
If an adult wants to try out for a pageant, more power to her. I wouldn't expect a cont... (read in full...)
How do I accept that my appearance is ordinary?
Q. I've been recently watching porn videos (not masturbating just missing sex) and I'm surprised at how flawless some of the actors are. How can people look like that? This was amateur and she didn't have a blemish on her! How can I accept that I h...
A. 19 June 2014: I have pale skin, stretch marks, moles, some small dimply scars from chicken pox as a child, saggy boobs, some rosacea on my face, frizzy hair that turns into a giant mess without some products, I feel short around some of my friends, my legs have ... (read in full...)
Will he regret breaking up with me?
Q. I've been with a guy for over 5 years now - 3 years being a long term relationship and living together for 2 years. About a week ago, he went out with work colleagues and out of the blue he said he didn't want to be with me. He told me that he ...
A. 19 June 2014: Years from now when you look back on this, you will be so grateful to him for breaking up with you now, because that freed you up to meet the real love of your life. I know it's hard to believe now but things will get better for you.
And I agre... (read in full...)
I've been defriended on facebook and don't know what to do about it!
Q. I am not sure what's happened. Between yesterday and today the only thing that's changed is I texted a group text "Hey guys, are you going to the party?" No response. Then today I find myself defriended by a person I had a connection with. Sure...
A. 19 June 2014: "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person...
"When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
The... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 6 March 2014: OP, I could spend hours and hours reading up on how to ski.
Some friends are so scared of skiing that they can't even contemplate going skiing, despite never having tried.
Other friends no longer downhill ski because they are worried that... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 6 March 2014: OP, you have the love life you expect. Once you change your approach and expectations maybe things could be different. But as for now, as long as you read the negative blog things and judge women based on some sort of weird racial profiling, then ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 4 March 2014: So few options open up when you are in your room all alone reading blogs that support the 'I can't do this' personal credo.
More options open when you actually go outside and start talking to people.
... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 26 February 2014: If you think a manual will help, here you go:
http://bit.ly/1hy5SaU
http://bit.ly/N2s5Vg
It will involve effort and change on your part, reading all the manuals and how-to guides won't change anything unless you implement them.... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 25 February 2014: You don't know how because you never tried. Why have you never tried?... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 21 February 2014: Your glass is two-thirds full, yet you persist in believing it is empty. Ah well. When you stop extrapolating the negative from life, you may wake up to find that there is lots to be positive about.
If you want to pay for sex, pay for sex, if that... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 20 February 2014: OP, you've had at least 8 aunts here tell you that the problem is your negativity, and you say "it may have touch some of the truth I never considered" but then you go on to completely discount the advice given.
Your filter is totally out of whac... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 17 February 2014: I didn't say you were antisocial. I suggested that you have crippling anxiety about talking to women.
You have nothing to lose by talking to your doctor about it. Why wouldn't you try?... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 15 February 2014: Wouldn't a better investment of your time and money be to find treatment for your social anxiety? There are ways to help people who suffer from this.
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder
http:... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 23 January 2014: Something in this posts suggests that you didn't do a good job of finding a suitable man for you.
I'd cut both of them loose so they can go on to find suitable women for themselves, and you keep looking.
Do get a divorce so you aren't encumber... (read in full...)
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