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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 25 May 2014: When you say people you meet aren't interested, does this mean you ask for their number or ask them out and they say no'? Or does this mean you get a feeling that they don't like you so you don't bother them any longer, and then perceive that as a ... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: And based on this one: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-she-trying-to-get-my-attention-does.html you really never worked up the nerve to ask her out because you felt you weren't attractive enough for her.
You could just try to ask her out and ... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Hi Barry, I found your most recent question about her, which gave more detail: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-crush-has-become-more-attentive-is-it.html
So you are really interested in her, what answer are you hoping for from the aunts here... (read in full...)
Help, my dreams are making me paranoid!
Q. Hey, aunts and uncles, Just a quick question, lately I've been dreaming about my boyfriend cheating he's never cheated, but my dreams are making me think he is, I've had some wheres married and my best friend new I have children with him and.he'...
A. 30 April 2014: Hi Amy, is this a recent thing? If the only thing that is troubling you are some weird dreams, and there is nothing going on in real life that would support this paranoia, I think the sensible thing to do is to change your sleep and health ... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Look, you are overthinking this. You told a colleague you liked her, she reported she wasn't available. It wasn't a rejection of you as a person. She is unavailable. (She should be anyway, because you work together, but that's another discussion.)
S... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Thank you for the followup. Did you ask her out and she said 'no' or did this all happen through rumor and third-party interactions?... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Barry, I took a look at your past questions just to see if you'd written about the rejection you experienced, and I found an almost identical question from 3 years ago: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-this-girl-at-work-does.html
I... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: I don't see where she's begging for your attention here. You say 'word got out I liked her.' So there was gossip going on? Were you being overtly attracted to her or did you tell someone? It sounds so odd. 'Word got out I liked her.' You then ... (read in full...)
I feel like he just wants to go around and sleep around and then I'm just stuck here waiting for him to be done. How do I move on with my life?
Q. So me and my boyfriend recently broke up. Maybe about 1 week ago. Our relationship has been very difficult, we dated for a little over a year. (14 months) our biggest issue was trust. I have caught him texting other girls throughout the ...
A. 30 April 2014: I think he never really thought of himself as being 'taken' or 'off the market.' That's why he kept on with the texting other girls. He wasn't really ready to be a proper boyfriend.
Your expectations of him are unrealistic, based on his actions and ... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me to get pregnant
Q. Hi everyone. I've been in a relationship with my bf for three years and three months. I'm 25 and he's 29. Since the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he wanted to settle down and start a family. I told him, that while I wanted to...
A. 30 April 2014: Thank you for your followup! I'm happy to hear we have been of help. Another way to think of this is that most NORMAL men would not use emotional blackmail in order to coerce an unwilling woman into an unwanted (at this time) pregnancy. He is not ... (read in full...)
Should I be selfish for once or be the good girl?
Q. Hi, I have this problem... I have this friend I've known for two years now and we always kind of liked each other. He's much older than I am and is in a relationship. Because we were such good friends, I know his girlfriend really well now too. Bu...
A. 30 April 2014: If someone who has a girlfriend is trying to seduce you all day long, he is not a 'friend.' He is someone looking for some sex on the side of his committed relationship.
The way you deal with it is to set boundaries. In this case, I expect this will... (read in full...)
What's a girl to do? My parents will never accept him!
Q. Next week I am finished with University for the Summer, and due to my poor health I have to move in with my parents for the summer, and I met this really amazing man. We have been talking for a few months and started getting kind of serious about a ...
A. 30 April 2014: Thanks, CindyCares, you wrote a brilliant answer. I really think you hit all the pertinent points here.
OP, You sound a bit more like a social worker, and less like a girlfriend in that last reply.
I think you know already that it's not going to... (read in full...)
Should I be selfish for once or be the good girl?
Q. Hi, I have this problem... I have this friend I've known for two years now and we always kind of liked each other. He's much older than I am and is in a relationship. Because we were such good friends, I know his girlfriend really well now too. Bu...
A. 29 April 2014: Friendship vs. 20 minutes of sex. Integrity vs. cheating.
It's kind of a no-brainer to me, but if you're struggling with it so much, perhaps this is more about a competition between yourself and the girlfriend, than about having sex with a hand... (read in full...)
Is it OK for married people to have opposite sex friends?
Q. Simple question ; after you get married and settled down, is it okay to have friends of the opposite sex? Text them? Hang out with them? Strictly platonic that is....
A. 28 April 2014: I have friends from college I hang out with, text with, strictly platonic of course. My husband knows them, I don't hide texts, he has full access to our shared email account and I let him know when I'm going to have lunch with one of them.
Is ther... (read in full...)
What's a girl to do? My parents will never accept him!
Q. Next week I am finished with University for the Summer, and due to my poor health I have to move in with my parents for the summer, and I met this really amazing man. We have been talking for a few months and started getting kind of serious about a ...
A. 28 April 2014: Ah, I can see why your family wouldn't accept him.
I think he is right and he's the kind of 'bad boy' that will wind up back in trouble again, if he keeps on hauling off and pounding peoples faces and he hangs out with friends who treat 'gir... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me to get pregnant
Q. Hi everyone. I've been in a relationship with my bf for three years and three months. I'm 25 and he's 29. Since the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he wanted to settle down and start a family. I told him, that while I wanted to...
A. 26 April 2014: No, it's not wrong of you to not want children at this point in your life, or even frankly, never. You were clear and upfront about this with him early on.
You are not being selfish. You are being honest.
I think perhaps this guy isn't the one ... (read in full...)
How do I get happy with becoming a hermit?
Q. I'm 26 year old male, and I never dated. My biological mother died at age 3, so I never had the proper nurturing to be ok. Socializing is hard for me since I am autistic, and because of my social awkwardness (avoiding eye contact, etc) no girl even ...
A. 26 April 2014: Thanks for responding. I know a family… they have two on the autism spectrum… they would be so happy if either one were able to post like you just did and add the follow up. Sadly, they will not ever be able to as you say there is no cure. Does that ... (read in full...)
We lost the passion and I need to rekindle the spark…
Q. My Fiancé and I are currently getting back in the groove of becoming a normal couple again after we had a huge fallout, One of the things that happened is that she lost all of the excitement and passion.. And even though we are slowly bonding again ...
A. 26 April 2014: If I do x, doesn't she owe me y?
No, she doesn't.
You say she lost all the excitement and passion. Based on the rest of this post, I would say that a more accurate statement would be: I messed up and didn't trust her and smothered her to the poin... (read in full...)
Tries to make me jealous. Phones, flirts. Then treats me like I don't exist? What's he up to?
Q. So. Again with that guy that I went to homecoming with. Everything has been like really shaky and I don’t know because he is seriously so confusing. He got a girlfriend, they had dated for 3 months and during those 3 months we did not talk at ...
A. 26 April 2014: Just some more really boring adult advice. You said you sent him 'certain type of pictures… if you get my drift' and now you have this little avatar picture on here which sort of looks like you are trying to put forth a certain breast forward here ... (read in full...)
Tries to make me jealous. Phones, flirts. Then treats me like I don't exist? What's he up to?
Q. So. Again with that guy that I went to homecoming with. Everything has been like really shaky and I don’t know because he is seriously so confusing. He got a girlfriend, they had dated for 3 months and during those 3 months we did not talk at ...
A. 26 April 2014: Oh and one more P.S. Your friends are what, like the same age? Are they liking his friends or him? They are unreliable… soz.... (read in full...)
Tries to make me jealous. Phones, flirts. Then treats me like I don't exist? What's he up to?
Q. So. Again with that guy that I went to homecoming with. Everything has been like really shaky and I don’t know because he is seriously so confusing. He got a girlfriend, they had dated for 3 months and during those 3 months we did not talk at ...
A. 26 April 2014: Why is he even trying omg. Because obviously you are paying attention.
He's a bee oh wye. Or more accurately like a teen boy. So
if he's being this weird
then don't reward him for being weird
ignore
ignore
ignore
don't look at him
don't ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my ex that he gave me an STI without freaking him out or sounding like I'm blaming him?
Q. I found out today that I have an STI. It's common and treatable and hopefully not a huge deal, but I'm still pretty mortified. I had negative test results before I got together with my ex, and I also had a negative test about 6 weeks after we ...
A. 26 April 2014: I think Aunt Daisy should be awarded the diplomatic post of the day award. I might tweak her last line just one bit.
"I know these things happen and there's no point in blaming anyone, so I will just say that for your health and well-being, you ... (read in full...)
What's a girl to do? My parents will never accept him!
Q. Next week I am finished with University for the Summer, and due to my poor health I have to move in with my parents for the summer, and I met this really amazing man. We have been talking for a few months and started getting kind of serious about a ...
A. 26 April 2014: I still don't know what you mean by "bad boy." There was a trailer for a TV show here in US that showed a tween boy discussing being a "bad boy" with his older male mentor. "Yeah, I can be a bad boy. Sometimes, I don't rinse out my cereal bowl."
P... (read in full...)
Love or sex? What do you do when they aren't a package deal?
Q. I need suggestions/opinions please! I am 24, my husband is 32. We have been married about a year and a half, together for 5. He has always had a large collection of porn and used it frequently and I was fine with that. My dilemma is this: for many ...
A. 25 April 2014: Did you say you are trying to medicate yourself to kill your sex drive? Wow.
I think that if you are messing with your own body's natural health and well-being then you need to consider to take more pro-active steps to changing things.
Find ... (read in full...)
Dating just 3 weeks, I'm discovering more and more things about him that don't match what I'm looking for. Am I right to ask?
Q. I've been dating a guy whomImet online for about 3 weeks now and I'm finding that as we're getting to know each other, I'm discovering more and more things about him that don't match what I'm looking for. I'm a fairly private, reserved woman a...
A. 25 April 2014: Think of it as interviewing for a job. You prepare a resume, you submit your application and then if you are considered for the position, you are on what an employer would call a probationary period.
Employers check the facts on the resume and the ... (read in full...)
My life is a mess! How do I tell my parents that I've failed my degree and won't be graduating after all?
Q. Hi Everyone, I've been following this website for a few years and always been impressed by the advice given so thought I would give it a go. Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help. So nearly 4 years ago, I was in a relationship, my...
A. 25 April 2014: OP, you wrote: "Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help." So you've had quite a few aunts offer their advice. Are you seeking that help now?... (read in full...)
How do I get happy with becoming a hermit?
Q. I'm 26 year old male, and I never dated. My biological mother died at age 3, so I never had the proper nurturing to be ok. Socializing is hard for me since I am autistic, and because of my social awkwardness (avoiding eye contact, etc) no girl even ...
A. 25 April 2014: I have another link for you too: http://autisticadvocacy.org
Have you had a chance to read any of these replies? ... (read in full...)
What's a girl to do? My parents will never accept him!
Q. Next week I am finished with University for the Summer, and due to my poor health I have to move in with my parents for the summer, and I met this really amazing man. We have been talking for a few months and started getting kind of serious about a ...
A. 25 April 2014: Wait, you've just become closer in the last week and a half and now he wants to spend the summer with you? And tells you he is going to follow you to the ends of the earth? Whoa woman, that's creepy stalker stuff. That's a red flag in the handbook ... (read in full...)
I don't want to play this no contact game with him anymore, I'm too old for it. What now?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for 3 years, we r currently in LDR as he has some job assignments outside country. We used to talk atleast once a day even if its for 10 mts Long story short, for past few months he is not calling me when I do, ...
A. 25 April 2014: I think at age 30-35, a boyfriend of 3 years, and an LDR that has gone to little contact, the time has come to say goodbye to unavailable boyfriend. Why didn't you go with him? Is he in a country that is hostile toward women?
What do you want, are ... (read in full...)
My life is a mess! How do I tell my parents that I've failed my degree and won't be graduating after all?
Q. Hi Everyone, I've been following this website for a few years and always been impressed by the advice given so thought I would give it a go. Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help. So nearly 4 years ago, I was in a relationship, my...
A. 24 April 2014: You were abused then abandoned. You never sought help for the abuse at the time and as you played ostrich. Depression can be thought of as buried anger. The suicide attempt was probably a cry for help which no one noted. Did your parents not know ... (read in full...)
Does my colleague have bad intentions? He's definitely a bad boy and my engagement nearly ended because of him!
Q. I'm engaged. I became friends with a fellow colleague. He's definitely a bad boy and I've been trying my hardest to stop all connection with him. At first it was harmless I thought and we would just spend short breaks together because we have a lot ...
A. 24 April 2014: You say he's a "bad boy" and then ask if he has bad intentions? Who cares? You shouldn't. Aren't you taken, engaged, spoken for? Haven't you already gone through relationship turmoil because of your lack of … I'll call them "boundaries."
It coul... (read in full...)
We began to get close in our 2 month FWB, now he's completely avoiding me. Is this because he has feelings for me?
Q. So I was in a fwb relationship recently for about two months. We began to become very close. We both ended it mutually last week and agreed to be friends still. We work together so it's very hard to deal with. He's completely avoiding me now. Is it ...
A. 24 April 2014: Sorry, I seem to keep on adding my thoughts.
"Ben, when you say you are 'attached' to me, what does that mean? I could take it many ways, so you'll have to be more specific."
... (read in full...)
We began to get close in our 2 month FWB, now he's completely avoiding me. Is this because he has feelings for me?
Q. So I was in a fwb relationship recently for about two months. We began to become very close. We both ended it mutually last week and agreed to be friends still. We work together so it's very hard to deal with. He's completely avoiding me now. Is it ...
A. 24 April 2014: And to elaborate on the "attached" thing. If he said he was "attached" to you, that means he would most likely not leave you stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, but he would also not introduce you to his parents as his intended wife. ... (read in full...)
We began to get close in our 2 month FWB, now he's completely avoiding me. Is this because he has feelings for me?
Q. So I was in a fwb relationship recently for about two months. We began to become very close. We both ended it mutually last week and agreed to be friends still. We work together so it's very hard to deal with. He's completely avoiding me now. Is it ...
A. 24 April 2014: Ah, so you did have feelings beyond 'friends' for him? And he said he was 'attached,' presumably to someone else?
Becky, you are 30-35, if you want to date someone, then date him. If he's not interested or available enough to date you, take him ... (read in full...)
Suspect she's cheating but she just gets mad if I ask. Is it time to bail?
Q. I have been married for almost 25 years. I can't honestly say I ever really loved my wife, i believe at the time I married her, being young, it was more for financial security than anything. In the early years things were okay, we had 2 sons, had ...
A. 24 April 2014: You've been miserable in your marriage for 25 years, she dislikes your family and friend and won't go for counseling. Your friends and family have heard rumors… "Should I bail?" I think that from the picture you've presented, there's not much of a ... (read in full...)
How do I get happy with becoming a hermit?
Q. I'm 26 year old male, and I never dated. My biological mother died at age 3, so I never had the proper nurturing to be ok. Socializing is hard for me since I am autistic, and because of my social awkwardness (avoiding eye contact, etc) no girl even ...
A. 24 April 2014: Yes, I do have an idea on how to get happy.
You know what you are experiencing as someone on the Autism spectrum. You're not happy, you know what is missing.
So become an advocate for yourself and people you don't even know who are like you.
ht... (read in full...)
We began to get close in our 2 month FWB, now he's completely avoiding me. Is this because he has feelings for me?
Q. So I was in a fwb relationship recently for about two months. We began to become very close. We both ended it mutually last week and agreed to be friends still. We work together so it's very hard to deal with. He's completely avoiding me now. Is it ...
A. 24 April 2014: It's a readjustment period. Maybe part of the impetus for him to mutually agree to the breakup was that he felt like it was too much like dating and he just wanted to have the B without too much of the F.
It's also possible that he's met some... (read in full...)
Thought I had a chance with my crush when his relationship failed, but now they're back together. Should I move on?
Q. Hi all, I need some advice. I've had this massive crush on a guy for the last 5 years. He's a year older than me and I met him in school. He's an amazing guy, extremely good looking, gentleman personality and has a great career ahead of him. I ...
A. 23 April 2014: You need to do more that just try and move on. You've been stalking him on social media for 5 years and have made things up based on what you saw or didn't see on social media. Seriously.
If you are a heartbroken mess for a man you haven't spok... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 23 April 2014: CindyCares, I think the 82% statistic has probably sent our OP running for the hills. Though if you think about it, that means that roughly one woman in five has not had a casual hookup. And what I assume the OP would classify 'the town slut' is ... (read in full...)
If it's over, why does he care?
Q. I had recently connected with an old boyfriend via Facebook. When I was 20 and he was 28 we dated on and off for 3 years but he ended up breaking up with me to marry someone else. We went our separate ways, both married other, had kids etc... ...
A. 23 April 2014: "Every time something happens with her, like an argument, or he finds out something else, he always says "now it's definately over" or "now I know it's done". He has said this quite a few times over the past few months and here I am thinking, I ... (read in full...)
If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 23 April 2014: So are you going to discuss this with her, as she is the one who would know what she would like? The 'contract' is between you and her. Or is this question evolving into one about the emptiness of life without love? Or ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?
Q. Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...
A. 23 April 2014: And sorry, I keep pressing "add your answer" before I finish my thoughts…
Pedophile, ephebophile, whatever, applying the label here doesn't really matter, does it?
What your friend is doing could get him a prison sentence and then the life-hau... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?
Q. Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...
A. 23 April 2014: P.S. The other similar pattern in your friend's case and the convicted sex offender's case I referenced was that there were a number of girls involved, my friend's family member was not the only minor he was "fooling around with" (layman's term) or ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?
Q. Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...
A. 23 April 2014: A friend of mine had a family member aged 16 who wound up being involved in an underage sex and statutory rape case. This girl had to appear on the stand and the guy wound up being convicted. Yes, some families actually do report things like this ... (read in full...)
If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 23 April 2014: Why not simply ask your friend what she would prefer? Did you promise that you not date other women?
You should decide what your preference would be as well, as that will no doubt be part of the discussion.
I don't see why this is so difficul... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 20 April 2014: Oh and dogs are wonderful, I love them! So full of bounce and love and present in the moment. They make you appreciate the world in a fresh way, don't they? Dogs are AWESOME! :)... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 20 April 2014: Hi OP, I see you haven't brought yourself to have that conversation with her. Sorry if my concern that you seem to be um… inert … in having the 'casual' sex filter conversation with her seemed odd. You seem stuck in the cycle of repeating your ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 19 April 2014: And I would be interested to hear the followup to the conversation.
Again, assuming that the anon poster was the OP. I re-read my initial answer on this question and I am repeating myself here. Express your concerns about "casual sex" as it clea... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 19 April 2014: If you feel this strongly about it then you should ask her. If that is your followup? (It could be anyone answering, but the same tone is there, so I will assume it is the OP.)
After this relationship ends tomorrow, just make sure that in the futu... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 18 April 2014: So you've had some really interesting answers. Any followup or is this just another troll type post? :)... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 18 April 2014: At age 30-35 you are dating "a new girl"? So you weren't a virgin when you came to be dating her?
It's a very odd thing for someone to say in the grocery store. I wonder if she was trying to turn you on by being suggestive and she thought she said... (read in full...)
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