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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
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Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 23 April 2014: CindyCares, I think the 82% statistic has probably sent our OP running for the hills. Though if you think about it, that means that roughly one woman in five has not had a casual hookup. And what I assume the OP would classify 'the town slut' is ... (read in full...)
No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...
A. 22 April 2014: Good luck as you move forward!... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 20 April 2014: Oh and dogs are wonderful, I love them! So full of bounce and love and present in the moment. They make you appreciate the world in a fresh way, don't they? Dogs are AWESOME! :)... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 20 April 2014: Hi OP, I see you haven't brought yourself to have that conversation with her. Sorry if my concern that you seem to be um… inert … in having the 'casual' sex filter conversation with her seemed odd. You seem stuck in the cycle of repeating your ... (read in full...)
Should I call or let it go?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 8 months. He says he loves me,he compliments me,but at time he nick picks me from my head to my toes. I have told him it makes me feel uncomfortable, he says I am too sensitive. He is good when he is good and he is ...
A. 19 April 2014: I'd just end the relationship, you are 50+ and don't need any nit-picking to change you. A man doing that and then accusing me of being too sensitive: *poof* he's gone! Buh-bye!... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 19 April 2014: And I would be interested to hear the followup to the conversation.
Again, assuming that the anon poster was the OP. I re-read my initial answer on this question and I am repeating myself here. Express your concerns about "casual sex" as it clea... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 19 April 2014: If you feel this strongly about it then you should ask her. If that is your followup? (It could be anyone answering, but the same tone is there, so I will assume it is the OP.)
After this relationship ends tomorrow, just make sure that in the futu... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 19 April 2014: OP, I was indeed perturbed, as one of my favorite aunts, CindyCares, has deduced.
You want magic by x date. You must be watching those informercials. "Get your 6 pack abs in 6 weeks!" and the like. There are men's magazines that ALWAYS have the same... (read in full...)
I only reconnected with my ex so we could be friends, but I think he wants more
Q. A bit of an odd question. I reached out to an ex of mine because enough time had passed where we didn't speak and I thought of just asking to remain friends. We dated for only 4 months, nothing too serious. The awkward part is that he seems to...
A. 19 April 2014: Just steer away entirely. Your other option is to tell him that sex with him was lousy and awful and you never ever want to repeat it, but that feels kind of mean and you seem to be very wishy-washy about this anyway.
Definitely do what the othe... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 18 April 2014: Okay. Dude. I have spent a lot of time writing advice specific to you and now you tell me that you haven't saved it or bothered to read it and I am now really freaking annoyed with you.
What. The. F*ck.
Now that I know that you haven't been sma... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to this guy?
Q. So I met a guy on a dating site a few weeks ago. He messaged me first and we talked for a little bit. Turns out, we have a lot in common and he is honestly what I am looking for in a man- good looking, smart, successful, down to earth, athletic, ...
A. 18 April 2014: If you are interested in him based on his online profile and haven't actually met him IRL then I would not build up a whole fantasy relationship just yet.
If he has your number and isn't using it then he's not interested in you, sorry!
What ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 18 April 2014: So you've had some really interesting answers. Any followup or is this just another troll type post? :)... (read in full...)
My wife told me about her past sex life and now I can't even look at her
Q. My wife told me of her sex life before, she would go on no strings attached websites and meet men ...3 sums , now I feel sick my wife was passed around groups and used as a sex toy and she loved it , now I can't even look at her, what should I do?...
A. 18 April 2014: Hi, you've had lots of responses. Can you provide more detail or a followup?... (read in full...)
Any Easter traditions or ideas we can partake in?
Q. I started dating a Jewish guy (I am Catholic) 6 months ago. We have moved in together recently. Things are going great! With the upcoming holidays (Passover and Easter) we find ourselves spending time with each other's family and taking part in each ...
A. 18 April 2014: Standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, I see at least 5 or 10 magazines with Easter/Passover celebration ideas. Egg dyeing, making special breads or other dishes, decorating, all sorts of things.
You say you are Catholic but not reli... (read in full...)
No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...
A. 18 April 2014: I found this recent post about ogling: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-cut-my-losses-now-my-new.html
In particular, please note this reply:
A female reader, I love cabbage! United Kingdom + ?, writes (16 March 2014):
I love cabbage! ago... (read in full...)
No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...
A. 18 April 2014: Get a friend to record him in public with you, in the pub, on the street, so that you can show him how his behaviour looks to an objective eye.
Having advised that, I don't see this relationship surviving without some outside help. You're noti... (read in full...)
Husband says he feels like a prostitute because I want him to have sex with me? What can I do?
Q. My husband does not have a sex drive anymore. We are both young in our mid-twenties. We have been together for nearly 10 years. Our sex life has been at times amazing and at times sparse. I always seem to want it more than him. In the past he has u...
A. 18 April 2014: I don't think you can self-diagnose "low-T" without some bloodwork and an exam by a proper physician and I don't think that if you actually have "low-T" that some vitamin supplements will deal with that issue. So that's obviously an excuse to avoid ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 18 April 2014: At age 30-35 you are dating "a new girl"? So you weren't a virgin when you came to be dating her?
It's a very odd thing for someone to say in the grocery store. I wonder if she was trying to turn you on by being suggestive and she thought she said... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 18 April 2014: Okay, I just read the "followup" I think you posted? (you can be brave and set up an account you know)
Based on all your questions and comments about this guy, why are you even trying figure out whether or not you should date him.
Little red flag... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: "they *may* have had better"
"The bad boy thing is flawed thinking, I acknowledge that but feel like they got a part of the girl I'll never get."
Your date selection criteria appear to include only women who have been with bad boys.
There are... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 17 April 2014: Obviously he's not glued to his phone 24/7 either. I would just write this one off, especially if he's the too bossy/too keen one.
Good luck and I hope you find an ordinary nice type of guy!... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: Llifton, we refer to it as the little hamster wheel. Our OP has heard us say that to him a number of times.
OP, one more point. Other men's sex lives and dating patterns have exactly zero to do with you. Nada. You choose to compare. Once you choo... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: You don't like being single, a virgin and insecure about your attractiveness either.
No magic wand.
You have to deal with your fears.... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 17 April 2014: I am certain she's a scammer. I wouldn't give her any more thought and do not spend one more single penny on "her." ... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: You don't have one hour in the day once or twice a week to deal with the issue that is keeping you so down you post the same question here over and over again? Not one little teeny weeny hour to deal with it for real? Get up one hour earlier?
Y... (read in full...)
The romance omen and useless love--what do you think?
Q. When it comes to crushes and romance i have nothing but bad luck. I've had so much bad luck i think im a omen the reason i think this is because, everytime i meet someone new or with a friend that is having a bad time with romance within a month of ...
A. 17 April 2014: To me, the word "omen" signifies that something is being foretold in the future. So I think you can let yourself off the hook for being an "omen." Now, you could decide that you are a harbinger and take that as a good thing.
I would decide that you ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 17 April 2014: But if you want to be annoyed by his lack of clairvoyance then by all means, go ahead and do so. It just will result in the end of the relationship and I don't really think that is what you want. Or is it?... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 17 April 2014: Obviously, you do have to spell it out for him. Were you hoping you were dating a mind reader? I know it's so delicious to have a man know you inside out without having to tell him but that is just generally not the case…
It's reasonable for many... (read in full...)
He changed his relationship status and I'm confused!
Q. Hello all:) okay so here is my question... i met this guy online about 6years ago. A year later i finally agreed to meet him, and it was great - no awkward silences etc. It felt as if i had known him my whole life. he works on cruise ships, an...
A. 17 April 2014: Your friend has a new girlfriend and he's trying to tell you that he's no longer interested in talking to you. I think it's time to let him go, you seem to be hanging on to something that isn't really there.
If you are really confused, you coul... (read in full...)
I don't deserve the way he ended it
Q. My ex broke up with me over a year. It was nasty. He's my first and it was his longest and the most serious relationship. However, he left without giving me the real reason. I initiated contact a few times. He still told me he loved me, but he never ...
A. 17 April 2014: Is this your ex? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-i-failed-as-a-girlfriend.html
Definitely time for counseling, woman! You are not in a healthy place if this is so difficult for you!
... (read in full...)
I feel like I failed as a girlfriend
Q. I'm feeling hurt and in need of some advice.. I talked to my ex boyfriend recently (whom I am still in love with) and he said although I was "great" he was unhappy in our relationship. I am very hurt by this because I really tried my absolute best...
A. 17 April 2014: This guy? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-deserve-the-way-he-ended-it.html
Definitely seek counseling, woman, you deserve to feel good about yourself again and if this is keeping you down then you need to find a way to get it in your past... (read in full...)
When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?
Q. When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....
A. 17 April 2014: Did any of these answers help you with your question?... (read in full...)
I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...
A. 17 April 2014: Some people may know for certain that they've met their life partner at age 17 but I have to say that only applies to an extremely small percentage of the people I know.
I'd say if you are having these feelings that you have to make mistakes and ... (read in full...)
Does the CEO like me?
Q. Hello. I really like this guy from work. His really out my league. His the c.e.o, single and very friendly. When i first met him he was very warm and friendly. But i get so shy around him. So i try to avoid him. But i need to work with him ...
A. 17 April 2014: Maybe he's hoping that keeping you guessing will mean that he doesn't need to pay you a fair wage. Maybe he's just so busy and involved in the business that you are mistaking his odd demeanour as a sign that he likes you?
Whatever, I would assu... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 17 April 2014: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-he-too-bossy-or-too-keen-.html
Is this you?
I get the sense that an internal alarm is ringing loudly for you about this guy. I would listen to that alarm.
Maybe ease up on how often you see him as it's only be... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 17 April 2014: Hi OP, did you get an answer from "her"? I do hope you stop spending money on a potential scam. Get a new phone and number if you have to get rid of this scammer! I would also contact your phone company's fraud hotline for more help.
Let us know... (read in full...)
I gave him my phone number but I'm not interested in dating him. What should I do?
Q. I went out on Sunday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantic...
A. 17 April 2014: HI there, did you get these helpful answers? I think Cerberus had a really good answer. Save it up, practice it and use it. "Next time, OP, just say 'No thanks, I'm interested in someone at the moment.' "
That's simple and needs no further expl... (read in full...)
Was this out of line or weird?
Q. I went to a friends funeral and saw a woman there I barely knew through my friendship with the diseased. She came right over to me when I arrived and started talking. The more we talked the more attraction I felt. Knowing after the funeral I'd ...
A. 17 April 2014: She said yes, so it's a moot point. In the future, when you are at a funeral or a wake or memorial service or wedding or bar mitzvah or christening or a birthday or such like, just ask for her number or give her yours or ask for her facebook info ... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: Ah, then you lack trust in her. So not a good start. No, don't date her.
Um, I'm going to challenge you on the counseling thing. I don't think you actually have had the counseling specific to your situation. I think you met with a college psyc... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: Here is my alternate answer: Go out with her. Date her. Date her to get that confidence. Please. For us? ... (read in full...)
Lunch? Date? What to wear? Help!
Q. So this guy I like (im 17 and he's 19) asked me to go to lunch with him tomorrow and I'm so nervous. Is this considered a date even though he's told me in the past that he doesn't like me? also since its just lunch should I dress nice? He hasnt told ...
A. 17 April 2014: Lunch is nothing fancy and if he has told you in the past he doesn't like you then do not go all out.
I would wear something you feel comfortable in and that flatters you. Something you wear often and maybe is your go-to outfit for when you want... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 16 April 2014: Hi there! I see we have the worry thing going on still. Ah. Sad, that.
Okay, as you have not dealt with this through professional counseling, we are still relying on amateur agony aunts to help you rationally deal with the irrational.
You have pos... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 16 April 2014: P.S. And just to add an additional cost saving idea to your list, why are you driving an out of warranty SUV? Do you live in a state that gets massive snowstorms or haul a lot of stuff around?
You are paying more for gas and any repairs are now all ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him I can't afford this very expensive trip?
Q. I can't believe this situation! 6 months ago I meet a guy in a coffee shop. We were attracted to each other instantly. Sex happened a week later, and in couple months I was having dinners with his parents and siblings. We spend with each other ...
A. 16 April 2014: I can see why you are disappointed that he wasn't aware enough to know that you simply can't afford the trip. Perhaps he just wasn't thinking and assumed that you had the resources to be able to afford it.
You met him in a coffee shop, so perh... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him if he doesn't pay for tomorrow's date?
Q. Is this going to be history repeating itself, and if so, what should I do ?. I used to date a guy whose money would go really quickly when he got paid, and then the week after he got paid, he would ask me for money because he didn't have a...
A. 16 April 2014: Okay, you've been dating this guy for one week and he's already paid a couple of times?
Why not relax, find something less expensive to do for the next few dates and pay your half and see if you actually like him? You seem very worried that he's... (read in full...)
I don't deserve the way he ended it
Q. My ex broke up with me over a year. It was nasty. He's my first and it was his longest and the most serious relationship. However, he left without giving me the real reason. I initiated contact a few times. He still told me he loved me, but he never ...
A. 16 April 2014: I wonder if you think about him every single day because you've engrained a habit of doing so. Perhaps you are feeling bad about something or you have kept something that reminds you of him, and that triggers the thought?
Have you considered talk... (read in full...)
When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?
Q. When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....
A. 16 April 2014: I think women project, men objectify, if I sum up this article: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2739403/
Basically, you are thinking about this using your female brain and you apparently can't imagine for yourself the type of visual 'zin... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 15 April 2014: I believe she is a scammer and you are being conned. She's not paying to exchange messages. It's a scam to keep you texting and charging you for messages.
I would cut contact immediately and contact your mobile and date provider to ask for help in d... (read in full...)
My wife told me about her past sex life and now I can't even look at her
Q. My wife told me of her sex life before, she would go on no strings attached websites and meet men ...3 sums , now I feel sick my wife was passed around groups and used as a sex toy and she loved it , now I can't even look at her, what should I do?...
A. 10 April 2014: Is there going to be a follow up from the OP providing more background? That would help the aunts provide appropriate advice.... (read in full...)
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