A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:OK, I had sex with a new boyfriend recently. It was our first date and he took me to the highest heaven. My friends were not as impressed. They told me my reaction was based on circumstances and looks, ie it was my first time after 23 years of mediocre sex in a bad marriage and the guy was gorgeous. They say I would have been rocked by a tree stump. Do they have a point? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 I am not sure I got the gist of your question. If you are strictly talking about the quality of his sexual performance and your enjoyement of the same, - what would your friends KNOW about it ? they weren't there , and they aren't you. You know what you like and what you need sexually.
If they are expressing doubts about the future and success of this relationship, well, maybe they are not generous in raining on your parade, but they are absolutely right. You don't know anything about this guy yet , basically you don't know him from Adam, only that he looks good and he's horny ( sex on a frst date ). The rest ... only time will tell.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 July 2014):
 I also agree that sex should be private and personal. But since we're past that and what's done is done, I'll answer your question.
I think your friends *do* have a point. You had sex with this guy on the first date, and it's like a drink of water to a guy who hasn't had any water in 3 days. The cold drink would be pure heaven to a man dying of thirst, even though it could have been water from a garden hose.
Likewise, you had sex with someone new after a long physical and emotional dry spell. You couldn't wait the time it takes to get to know someone and to build an emotional rapport that lays the foundation of a relationship.
The fact that you're calling him "boyfriend" after recently just having sex and this being on the first date means that you two have been together for an extremely short amount of time (unless recently for you means about 2 or 3 months ago).
I would advise you to be careful here. Enjoy the sex, but things move this quickly usually in relationships where it's ONLY about sex and there's no real future in it. Having sex on the first date is fun, but he may not have thought about it the same way you have, OR he may have an end game that you don't. Don't let sex be your measure of someone's feelings for you, and don't get carried away thinking that sex and commitment/partnership are the same thing. If he asks you for money or other favors, do not go for it. And be careful if the relationship becomes ONLY about sex and the relationship-discovery on an emotional level isn't happening. It would suck if you jumped from a mediocre marriage into the arms of someone with less-than-honorable intentions toward you.
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A
female
reader, ImissFuturama +, writes (17 July 2014):
 They're saying you only think it's great by comparison to what you had before, but what do they know? YOU know it was great, and that's all that matters. It's probably best not to talk about your sex life with them anymore.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2014):
 I love all my other aunties... but I sort of disagree with all of them.
First of all my girlfriends and all all discuss our sex lives. I have a couple of very close friends that we will talk details and intimate things. we've been friends 25 years...
That being said, I'm betting the comment was more about the LACK of sex you were having during your marriage and the implication that now that you are getting sex, it's been so long that you would think anything was better than what you were having.
It's not a reasonable or fair comment unless you had previously been discussing the lack of sex life before this but if you had mentioned anything about a bad sex life then that would be my take on why they
a. said it
and
b. felt comfortable saying it.
You indicate you were on your FIRST DATE and you had sex with him.... perhaps they felt you jumped the gun too quickly having sex on a first date because you were so "desperate" to have sex so "no wonder" it rocked your world... a tree stump would have worked.
(Begin my sarcastic comment) Personally I would have said door knob or gear shift handle since a tree stump implies some pretty interesting anatomy. (end my sarcastic comment)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 July 2014):
 No, they don't have a point. Good sex is good sex, and great sex is great sex, no matter how much crappy sex you've had prior. Your body know what works, no matter what.
I had great sex with my ex too, and it wasn't because the sex prior to him was so boring or bad. It was plain and simple great sex.
I think your friends are possibly jealous that you're getting it good.. they probably have bad sex themselves, haha. So don't worry about it. You know what happened in the bedroom, I say enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 July 2014):
 does it matter what they think? YOU are the one having sex with him, so if you enjoy it, more power to you..
I'd not share any more intimate details with them if they can't just be happy for you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2014):
 It may be that they are jealous. Perhaps they are married to or dating tree stumps?
Or they just don't really want to hear about their single friends' sexploits?
Anyway, for me, it's in poor taste to discuss specifics about one's sex life, especially as if this develops into a lasting relationship, your friends will be looking at him knowing things he doesn't know they know.
Maybe they just wanted to discourage you from over-sharing.
If you're happy and he's happy there's no problem. Obviously, from now on, keep the bedroom press just between you and your man. Your friends don't want to know, and they have been pretty clear about that.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (16 July 2014):
 Does it truly matter what your friends say? You’re over 18!
Let the good times roll girl… :)
Just beware if it develops into an attachment; it’s not all about his rockin’ hot body and your revitalised sex life.
CAA
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (16 July 2014):
 Why discuss it with your friends? Sorry but sex should be private and personal. What THEY think on the matter is of no consequence whatsoever. If YOU had the time of your life with this guy then that's all that matters! Good luck with it!
Mark
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