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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 7 January 2015: You need to get out of the victim role you've chosen for yourself. Most of your original question is written in the passive tense;
*It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time
*It was never something either of us so... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 7 January 2015: He's texted? That's not much effort. A few typed words in the phone. Big deal. He's a loser, I'm sorry.
If he wanted to be with you beyond whatever it is you ahve, he'd have taken concrete action to get a divorce.
You say he's older.
So he pro... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 7 January 2015: "It is unfair because sometimes he lets go and gives me the intimacy and closeness I am wanting from him. And then he pulls it away. Gets scared. Says he does not want to have these feelings because he is a married man."
Of course it's unfair. Life... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 7 January 2015: Here are some of the questions from the woman who is in the same situation that you are in:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-man-dumped-me-and-i-am-feeling.html
http:... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 7 January 2015: "Clearly there must have been a disconnect between him and his wife for him to seek out a relationship with me outside his marriage"
Um, no. He just wanted some extra sex and you provided it.
"If I walked away, I would miss him for the rest of ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to wait until I'm ready for marriage and children?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I'm looking for some impartial advice and my girlfriend uses this site a lot so thought I'd give it a try. We have been together for 5 years, I am 27 and she is 29, and recently she has been putting a lot of pressure on me t...
A. 30 December 2014: You've been together for 5 years and you are still unsure if you are compatible?
Definitely end it. If you don't know by now, you aren't.
Let her go.... (read in full...)
How to tell a friend he/she can't stay in your apartment?
Q. I have no idea how to tell my friend that she can’t stay with us this spring. And this is just a tip of the iceberg. Background: We’ve known each other for about 15 years. We have common interests and I love our talks. We have fun together. Our li...
A. 10 December 2014: You take her part and I'll take yours. Let's practice.
Hi, Sadie, happy to hear that you've made new friends again. It'll be great to see you when you come visit our city. Alas, it won't be possible for you to stay with us. I know you have many frie... (read in full...)
How much angry behavior is too much?
Q. How far is too far? My husband got really mad this morning. I'm a house wife and I'll admit I'm not the best at keeping up with everything. I had two loads of laundry in baskets on the floor this morning. I had folded one load and just needed ...
A. 10 December 2014: What are the other issues?
Are you afraid he's going to hit you?... (read in full...)
I think this is disprespectful -- am I right?
Q. Girlfriend told me that another guy has been touching her butt in school and she basically just lets him smack it! I feel so betrayed by this. Dnt I have the right? Is this not super disrespectful? ...
A. 10 December 2014: I agree with YouWish. Find out what's happening. Is she being bullied/sexually harassed and doesn't have the ability to deal with it?
And why isn't your beef with this guy? She's not the one smacking butts, she's the one being assa... (read in full...)
I know I'm young, but how do I tell my best friend I love him?
Q. im in love with my bestest friend and i have decided to tell him that i love him but i don't know how to tell him. we have known eachother scince we were really young so it will be hard to tell him how i feel. i know im too young to know what tru...
A. 2 December 2014: "Hi my dear friend, I want to let you know that I love you."
... (read in full...)
How do I find someone to help fulfill my fiance's fantasy?
Q. My fiance and I have been together 4.5 years. We are very secure and loving toward each other and I don't see that changing at all. However, he's got a fantasy that he kind of wants to fulfill before we get married and has told me that he wants me ...
A. 2 December 2014: So he's making you do the work of finding someone to fulfill his 'kind of' fantasy? Interesting.
I guess if I were in your shoes, I would try to find the local swingers' scene and start interviewing candidates.
I would throw your question back in ... (read in full...)
How does my dating advert come across?
Q. I need some advice on my dating advert please!: Sociable and friendly guy would like to meet a warm-hearted girl for laughter and maybe more. I'm a good listener, so lets talk! I have been to Cologne recently, really loved it and going to tak...
A. 2 December 2014: So a bit of a concern I see is that you say you love going to the cinema but haven't been since 2008. That's a long time. If you love going to the cinema, why have you not been to a film since that year? Someone reading your post may notice that and ... (read in full...)
The first 5 minutes of sex are enjoyable but then the experience goes downhill!
Q. Hi guys. Please can I have some advice. I recently lost my virginity, not in a relationship, and have had sex a couple of times since then. I enjoy the first 5 minutes but after that I just feel frustration that I can't orgasm and also...
A. 24 November 2014: How can you start enjoying sex more? Be specific and clear and ask for what works for you.
P.S. Most women do not reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone so one strategy may be to reach your orgasm through what works for you first.
"Sex"... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to understand that I can't text at work! How can I make it sink it?
Q. Is there any way I can stop my man being so needy? I love him to bits and he is everything I want in a partner but he's very clingy and dependant on me which is really starting to annoy me. He texts me all day every day. At his job he can. At my job ...
A. 18 November 2014: Get one of those apps that auto-reply to him. "Not available - at work"
Record one of your conversations about how you cannot reply at work and play it back to him if he starts in again.
Is this the only way he is clingy and dependent or is this ... (read in full...)
I feel he is still looking for other women whilst sleeping with me.
Q. I have been seeing a guy for just under 4 weeks. We met on Tinder and our dates have been wonderful. At the weekend I stayed at his and we slept together a lot on saturday and once on sunday before i left. We had a wonderful romantic time. He text ...
A. 18 November 2014: Whoa, woman! You've been seeing this guy for less than 4 weeks and have already had sex and now want find out if you are exclusive. You are coming on like a steamroller.
Too much too fast too soon.
Relax.
Just because you deleted your account afte... (read in full...)
How do we get our sex life on track again?
Q. Me and my other half have been together for 5 years we have only just got married about 4 weeks ago. Our relationship is amazing we get on great, but I have noticed a few times that our sex life has changed. When we first got together it was amazing ...
A. 14 November 2014: Have you tried saying to him, "hey, babe, I love the feel of you inside me but I'm not ready yet. Let's play a bit more.'? If not, why not?
If you have and he's ignoring it, then you have a bigger problem.... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...
A. 14 November 2014: So, as you are the man in the equation, what is your question, exactly? You said you welcomed any advice. But apparently you aren't able to put together a coherent question still.... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...
A. 13 November 2014: Okay, so what help exactly do you need? You are in a tough spot that you put yourself in. Do you want help getting out of the tough spot? Do you want help accepting the tough spot? What exactly do you expect?
Defne your question. You wrote "any advi... (read in full...)
We're getting married in 5 months. Am I asking too much to want fire and passion in our relationship? What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need your advice. I have been with the same man for over three years. We have lived together and shared money for two and a half of those. I am 24 and he is 28. "Joe" is the "perfect" man. He is chivalrous, hardworking, selfless...
A. 13 November 2014: Why does this sound like you are engaged to Forest Gump? A hardworking, well off, chivalrous man who relies on the women around him.
Don't marry him, not just yet. You don't understand him and you don't appreciate how he approaches the world.
You p... (read in full...)
If your boyfriend's friend went to a hooker, does that mean your boyfriend could do it too?
Q. Hi everyone. Should I worry that a friend of my boyfriend has been using prostitutes? (The guy is single). Does that mean my boyfriend could also do it? I am just wondering if the people your boyfriend considers friends could have an impact on his...
A. 13 November 2014: Hello? What else has been going on that is causing you this doubt?... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend jealous of this other guy?
Q. I was at a cooking class with my boyfriend tonight. It is weird but he seems to have an issue with me talking to other men, even when innocent. I was talking to this guy in the class tonight. My boyfriend was talking with another group of pe...
A. 13 November 2014: It sounds rude and controlling to me too.
One thing I've noted is that those who cheat often express inappropriate jealousy, sort of using the tactic of "a good offense is the best defense" mindset.
You say he has had issues in the past. Hm.
I'm... (read in full...)
What are the chances? Is it really possible for a man to be addicted to a woman sexually?
Q. Hello everyone. I have a question. Maybe everybody can give their view point. Is it possible for a man to be sexually addicted to a woman? For example, your boyfriend says he loves you but is having sex with another woman on the side becaus...
A. 13 November 2014: Are you saying that he's blaming an addiction for his being a cheater? That's a fascinating approach to rationalizing cheating. And it sounds like you believe it? Oh dear.
Ok, granted there are some who do have actual sex addiction problems, but ... (read in full...)
I can't get over wasting my younger years!
Q. I seem to have given up hope on life for a while now, as in goals. Ambition and actually thinking I have a future. But I don't want to feel like this any more. I know little changes can make a difference ie going the gym, eating healthy a...
A. 12 November 2014: Think positive thoughts. "Yesterday I went to the gym and today I'm going to the gym. I'm taking care of myself today. I choose to make positive choices today. Tomorrow I will also make positive choices."
If you're having this much trouble with nega... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting or overpossessive? Should I give him some time or just move on?
Q. Dear cupids. I love a guy.We met online he is from pakistan nd am an indian. Initially we were friends then one day he proposed me that he wants to marry me , the other day he said that he will think about me but hes not doing any promise as hes not ...
A. 12 November 2014: Hi pure heart, I would go talk to your sister or mother and ask for comfort and help here.
I think you have created a relationship that wasn't going to be able to succeed and now are struggling with dealing with the aftermath.
I would move on.
I ... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...
A. 12 November 2014: "She is fire and together our relationship is very passionate and intense. I am looking at it from a logical side."
This post does not have much of the practical logical side of things.
" Will we be compatible for the long term? " Who knows, n... (read in full...)
My man won't put out but wants me to please him only!
Q. In need of some advice please! So I've been in a relationship and living with my bf for over 2 yrs. and we just had a baby (he did not want to have the baby) we didn't have much sex at the end of my pregnancy cause he said it's weird...it drove me...
A. 12 November 2014: Talk to your doctor to make sure you have the right facts on when intercourse is okay. I would also discuss how his demands for oral sex and his refusing your needs for the past months have troubled you.
The lock on the phone signals that he's hidi... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...
A. 12 November 2014: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/if-he-cheats-to-be-with-you-does.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-man-dumped-me-and-i-am-feeling.html
In one of those threads the OP writes: "I love my freedom. I don't want to be married to him hone... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...
A. 11 November 2014: Based on the followup, why exactly did you write a question asking for advice? You seem emotionally needy, requiring a great deal of ego boosting. I'm thinking it's time to see your doctor for a thorough checkup including hormone levels. Your doctor ... (read in full...)
How do I go about this when I have NO PROOF if I suspect he is/had an affair
Q. I am living with my boyfriend. All I can go on is my suspicions. I've read numerous articles about spotting behaviors that would point to a man having an affair, but those behaviors don't show in my boyfriend. He has talked about marriage with me...
A. 11 November 2014: He's lied in the past. I think it's fantasy to think that you can have a long and happy and low conflict life together.....
You're 41-50?
Why stick around when you know your heart is not in it?
Life is short.....You don't trust him, that's toxic... (read in full...)
How do I constructively address my grievances in the relationship?
Q. Recently I have been struggling emotionally because I have a lot of unresolved grievances in my relationship that I need to discuss with my boyfriend, but I don't know how to bring them up to him to get these things off of my chest. I fear that it ...
A. 11 November 2014: Well, as the avoiding the elephant in the room isn't working, I would get to the bottom of it.
"Babe, I have some things I need to get off my chest. This has been bothering me for a while and I had hoped i could get past it.
I know you have apo... (read in full...)
If your boyfriend's friend went to a hooker, does that mean your boyfriend could do it too?
Q. Hi everyone. Should I worry that a friend of my boyfriend has been using prostitutes? (The guy is single). Does that mean my boyfriend could also do it? I am just wondering if the people your boyfriend considers friends could have an impact on his...
A. 11 November 2014: "Does that mean my boyfriend could also do it?"
Well, we don't know your boyfriend. He could be a guy who is a one woman type of guy and who still enjoys spending time with guys who can't find girlfriends and who decide to pay prostitutes for sex.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps talking about other girls
Q. My boyfriend always talks about other girls I try to explain but then I just forgive him and let him do it again I try to get him back but it never works. What should I do to get him back?...
A. 9 November 2014: I think your boyfriend isn't going to 'get it' and stop talking about other girls.
If you mean you want to get revenge on him, the very best revenge ever is to not put up with it anymore and move on and live a long and happy life.
If I were you... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my married lover
Q. I've been in a relationship with an older married man for a year. In the last year, my feelings have grown for him, and I am in love. I know it's selfish, but I want more of his time to be spent with me. He insists that it will get better, but I'm ...
A. 9 November 2014: "I know it's selfish, but I want more of his time to be spent with me."
You're dating an older married guy. He doesn't have any time to spare.
You're setting yourself up to be annoyed/angry/sorry/regretful and the only person that put you there is... (read in full...)
Why won't he pull out during sex?
Q. So I have a boyfriend who's a pretty good guy. The only thing is, he doesn't want to pull out during sex. Or wear a condom. Says he hates them. We're both pretty stable so that's not a problem. My only question is, why does he do this? We both have ...
A. 6 November 2014: And I go back to this. If you don't want want to get pregnant, take steps to deal with it. "You would think someone who doesn't want a baby would take precaution not to get someone pregnant or get pregnant." Yes, so, if you don't want a baby, then ... (read in full...)
Why won't he pull out during sex?
Q. So I have a boyfriend who's a pretty good guy. The only thing is, he doesn't want to pull out during sex. Or wear a condom. Says he hates them. We're both pretty stable so that's not a problem. My only question is, why does he do this? We both have ...
A. 6 November 2014: Some losers get their "masculinity" "validated" by getting women pregnant. Whether or not they stick around to be fathers is another story.
Is this a surprise to you? Perhaps a nice chat with your gynecologist would be helpful. As you seem conf... (read in full...)
I want what's best for my daughter and myself
Q. I was a few months away from getting married when I found out my now ex had been cheating on me with a mutual friend. She was going out with a friend of mine, and my ex and this guy were like brothers. Basically it all came out when her boyfrie...
A. 6 November 2014: He can be a dad even if you two aren't a couple. Sounds like he needs to step that up and/or you need to allow him more time with his daughter.
You sound like you have a lot of anger about his actions and that would need to be addressed before any ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a polygraph?!
Q. Okay so I've been seeing this guy for 10 months, before him I went through a really rough yime after I went through a bad break up with my long term bf, where he cheated. After I did not deal with it well I had dated people and had ended sleeping...
A. 6 November 2014: You're dating a bully. "However he is very forceful in making me." "However, he now wants me to take a polygraph (lie detector test) due to my past?"
End it asap.
Maybe you need to figure out why you are making poor choices in dating partners... (read in full...)
What kind of person makes this sort of random offer?
Q. I met a man on a train on the way into New York City. He was very helpful as I was asking for directions and he travels often, so we spent about an hour chatting. He gave me his number so he could send me some links and when I texted him to thank...
A. 6 November 2014: If he hasn't actually asked you out on a date, then the 'offer' he's made is, well, worthless. It's flirting on a grand scale.
... (read in full...)
I can't stay in this limbo, I love him and want him.
Q. My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me 10months ago. However we stayed in touch daily and about 5 months ago we started seeing each other again - sex, holding hands in public, attending family things together, kissing etc. About 2 months ...
A. 6 November 2014: Life sucks sometimes. Sounds like you have encountered one of those unhappy life isn't going to go the way I want it to go times.
You're not dating him, he's told you that. Sadly, you will have to go through the mourning of a relationship. It's not ... (read in full...)
Why won't he pull out during sex?
Q. So I have a boyfriend who's a pretty good guy. The only thing is, he doesn't want to pull out during sex. Or wear a condom. Says he hates them. We're both pretty stable so that's not a problem. My only question is, why does he do this? We both have ...
A. 6 November 2014: Oh, and to answer again why he does this? Because he's found someone who will tolerate this. That would be you.
I guess you are ready to be pregnant and have another child and have a plan for that? Because he's not all that bothered from what you ... (read in full...)
Am I breaking up someone's relationship?
Q. I have been good friends with this guy for just over a year, we met through mutual friends. we started messaging each other a couple of months ago just friendly conversation. However he started to tell me that he liked me and wanted to be with me ...
A. 6 November 2014: Wait until he's single and then date him. If he's not single, then don't date him.
The rest is all drama stuff.
Waiting for him to be a stand up guy is keeping you from meeting a stand up guy, by the way. The longer you obsess on Mr. I'll Break Up... (read in full...)
Why won't he pull out during sex?
Q. So I have a boyfriend who's a pretty good guy. The only thing is, he doesn't want to pull out during sex. Or wear a condom. Says he hates them. We're both pretty stable so that's not a problem. My only question is, why does he do this? We both have ...
A. 6 November 2014: Why doesn't he wear a condom? Because you seem okay with it. And neither of you are worried to have a child, from the way you wrote the question.
If you want him to wear a condom, ask him to do so. If you don't care, what's the point of your ques... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he says I am his "guilty pleasure"?
Q. What does it mean if a man tells you your his guilty pleasure? What would it mean to you if you were to say this to someone or someone was to say this to you? How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing c...
A. 6 November 2014: A little red flag would pop up. Why would a man say I'm his guilty pleasure? I'm married and not looking and would back away very carefully from anyone who said something like to me.
If I weren't married the red flag would still pop up. A "gui... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 5 November 2014: Hello to the snooping 'boyfriend.' (I'm hoping it's the EX boyfriend by now?)
Go away now. Do no more damage. You are obnoxious and inappropriate.
Be grateful for knowing her. Try to learn something. Don't be an asshole.
To the poster: Get ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me details of her bad sexual experience and now I feel angry and jealous. How do I get over this?
Q. I need your realtionship advice about this I feel like I am a bad boyfriend. This might be long sorry for it Recently my girlfriend and I started to try have sex. Ofcourse it is too painful for her so wer are just trying right now. I am not rushing ...
A. 3 November 2014: Your girl friend suffers from vaginismus. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-we-take-things-to-the-next.html
She also appears to have an appalling lack of common sense and tact.
You have just started to experience the unhappiness of retroact... (read in full...)
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