A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he had thrown it to the back of that sofa because he thought I might see it down the side of the other sofa and I would worry about it. The side of the sofa it was on was the side of the sofa that I usually sit on. This isn't the first time I have found an unused condom in his house. There was another time when I found one in his room which was next to a bag of rubbish that he hadn't thrown away. There are times when he doesn't clean his house very much. There is a lot of rubbish in his house sometimes and he doesn't throw it away straight away. When I saw the condom yesterday, I was looking behind the sofa, and he saw me. He asked me if I was looking at the condom. He laughed and that's when he told me where he had found it. After that, he got angry and said he thought I didn't trust him ,and he said it was worn out because I don't trust him. Should I be worried ?. He says he adores me and he thinks the world of me. He also said if he was unfaithful, he wouldn't be stupid enough to leave a condom in the house so that I can find it. He has told me that he has been faithful to all of his partners. His friends have even said that he his loyal and that he adores me . He has Bipolar Disorder. I think one of the reasons he doesn't tidy his house sometimes is because he feels depressed sometimes.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (14 July 2014):
 I wouldn't be too worried, he sounds genuine from what you have said. Unless there have been other warning signs?
As for the tidying up, there are many men who do it when they run out of plates or can't find something. One of my sons is notorious for it. He just has 'better things to do' he says.It gets done eventually.
Leaving a condom around does sound gross but if it wasn't used he wouldn't think anything of it. But to move it from the back of one sofa to the back of another is 'very' lazy. Why not just move it to a bin or flush it down the loo? Why leave it where 'any' visitor could find it, let alone you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 Well, I kinda believe the playing around with condoms drunk... I know my first BF and I had a fun night going through a box trying to make balloon animals.. however, drunk or not (we were) we cleaned up after us.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2014): I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We have always used condoms. I have never been on the pill, and we don't have unprotected sex. As I said, he isn't always a tidy person.It was a different brand of condom to the ones we usually use. We used some of those condoms together when he bought them that once. I can't remember him putting a condom down the side of the sofa though. It was quite a while ago when we used those ones.He doesn't have roommates. He has his own place.He drinks a lot sometimes, and he told me that sometimes he has taken condoms out of the wrapper and messed around with them when he has been really drunk. I know he does other odd things (that could be because of the Bipolar too ), so it wouldn't surprise me if he did do that.There have been times when he has discarded condoms when we have had sex, and he didn't come inside the condom. The last ex he had was a long time before he met me. She doesn't live any where near here.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2014):
First off, EWW if someone find a condom in their couch WHY toss it BEHIND some furniture and not out in the trash? That's gross.
Secondly, if he DOES let friends use his place that could be a reasonable explanation.
If it was open AND unused I would not jump to conclusions. I would however find it really weird.
Funny enough your BF have no problem mentioning where it was but NOT why it was there... that is odd..
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 July 2014):
 Do you use condoms with him? If you don't, then I think it's a fair question to ask why he even has them around. I know I would wonder why there were condoms around my house if I'd found any.
Does he have roommates? Does he have friends who come over and use his place for having sex?
I've heard some men use them for masturbating so they don't make a mess that requires laundry, but why leave open, unused condoms around? Very odd.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 July 2014):
 How long have you known him, and do you use condoms together? When was the last time he was with his ex? When you said there's no semen in the condom, I take it to mean that it's already open and the wrapper wasn't there. Men don't always cum inside the condom. There are times when men don't put it on correctly and have to discard it, or they get soft and therefore have to give up and wait for a better time. Or, they just didn't reach orgasm but faked it so they could end the session.
I think a person who does not care about disposing condoms is stupid and non discreet. Condoms should be gotten rid of, like an eye sore to avoid arguments like this.
I can tolerate clutter and some mess, but not month old or year old condoms used by who-know-what. That's no excuse.
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