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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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How am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
Q. I would like to know how I can get a girlfriend. I am a 36 year old male who has never had any kind of a relationship with a woman.(not even a week long fling when i was at school) I have never been in a situation where it is appropriate to g...
A. 13 April 2012: Maybe a woman would be a better choice, provided she will tell you what you can do to make yourself more attractive. Sometimes a diagnosis requires a professional. You can do all the home-concocted remedies you want but if the condition is serious, ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
Q. I would like to know how I can get a girlfriend. I am a 36 year old male who has never had any kind of a relationship with a woman.(not even a week long fling when i was at school) I have never been in a situation where it is appropriate to g...
A. 13 April 2012: Apparently women want more from a man than a good resume, as your examples show. Go get that advice. You're not convincing me, you aren't convincing anyone else here. Matchmaker or life coach. Invest. It's that or continue to do the same thing and ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
Q. I would like to know how I can get a girlfriend. I am a 36 year old male who has never had any kind of a relationship with a woman.(not even a week long fling when i was at school) I have never been in a situation where it is appropriate to g...
A. 11 April 2012: And boom, there it is. The reason you don't ask anyone out. The reason no one asks you out. You don't think you have anything to offer.
Until that idea of yours changes, nothing will change for you.
You could ask a matchmaker or a life coach ho... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
Q. I would like to know how I can get a girlfriend. I am a 36 year old male who has never had any kind of a relationship with a woman.(not even a week long fling when i was at school) I have never been in a situation where it is appropriate to g...
A. 10 April 2012: And I go back to that comment, you do need to find out why you are perceived as 'creepy.' That, and your attitude, are what are wrecking your chances of dating. You have to ask a girl out in order to get a girlfriend. In order to ask a girl out, you ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
Q. I would like to know how I can get a girlfriend. I am a 36 year old male who has never had any kind of a relationship with a woman.(not even a week long fling when i was at school) I have never been in a situation where it is appropriate to g...
A. 10 April 2012: Dating professional, life coach, professional matchmaker. Whatever the term is, you are seeking an unbiased person who can assess your "date-ability" and tell you what you need to address. Female friends who tell you are creepy but don't elaborate ... (read in full...)
She was a virgin when she met me but had dated a guy before me, I get so jealous because of this! Am I wrong? What should I do?
Q. I'm 5 years of marriage and i am my wife's first man, she was virgin before me i wasn't. The fact is she used to date a guy by distance and we have a lovely friend who is this guy parent! I get jealous everytime we have to go to a child party or to ...
A. 10 April 2012: I've seen you post before on this topic. You clearly are struggling with the jealousy issue and expect your wife to comprehend your feelings. The problem for her is that your fears and jealousy appear to be baseless, not grounded in reality. They ... (read in full...)
Tight foreskin?
Q. So I have had the experience my whole life of a tight foreskin that won't retract over the head of my penis and it never really bothered me that much. Recently though I lost my virginity (with a condom) and during penetration the foreskin was forced ...
A. 10 April 2012: What a great question for your doctor! You can google 'phimosis' for some additional information which will help you in the doctor's visit. Good luck!... (read in full...)
He can't seem to get past the fact that I was taken advantage of
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Previous to my relationship with him, I had been in another relationship and that boyfriend took advantage of me and pretty much "hit it and quit it" just once and took my v-card. After ...
A. 10 April 2012: "he uses it against me all of the time"
At a certain point, he either decides he is with you, warts and all, or he doesn't. He accepts you with your "past," though having one longterm boyfriend who then dumps you isn't exactly a checkered past to m... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
Q. I would like to know how I can get a girlfriend. I am a 36 year old male who has never had any kind of a relationship with a woman.(not even a week long fling when i was at school) I have never been in a situation where it is appropriate to g...
A. 5 April 2012: You have to figure out why you are perceived as creepy. Something in your demeanor or presentation is giving that 'vibe.'
I have a girl friend who is my age, which is, alas, early 50s. She has never managed to keep a man interested in her. She is c... (read in full...)
Should I send them my number?
Q. Okay. Let me start by saying i got this two friends ive made on the internet social network. We have been sharing texts for a year and 3 months now. One of them is male and the other one is a female. We are both from different countries. Today they ...
A. 5 April 2012: No, I think it would be better if you didn't give them your phone number. Have you asked your parents what they think? Do your parents even know about your friends? Because I think you may be in a little over your head. Time to ask your parents.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 5 April 2012: It sounds like things are settling down for him, which is good to hear. I hope he is able to consistently walk away, and more importantly, not wind up in situations which escalate to the point of him needing to walk away.
Naturally, you are focu... (read in full...)
My wife got in touch with her first sex partner and sent him a pic of her's in a bikini
Q. My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4 years. My wife has been with between 60 and 70 men between the age of 18 and 30. She had one 3 year relationship during that time. About 90% of her past sexual experiences were just ...
A. 4 April 2012: "Babe, we had an agreement that there would be no contact with previous partners. This has shaken my faith in you. I guess it means that we need some counseling. Let's go. I've made an appointment with x at z time."
Off you go, to counseling.
Go... (read in full...)
Stuck in a quandary between my wife and my married mistress
Q. I know that I am going to be judged for posting this, but that's okay. I need guidance. I am almost 39. My wife is going to be 42 this year and is already in menopause. We have no children, mostly because my wife is just not a sexual being....
A. 4 April 2012: Your wife is in menopause at age 41? She's many, many years early for this and obviously needs to talk to her doctor. Whatever she has going on is not common or normal. Her lack of libido is most likely a part of this medical abnormality.
P... (read in full...)
Should I throw my hopes away and say goodbye?
Q. My ex and I dated for 1.5 years, and we broke up one year ago. We were in a long distance relationship that became difficult due to business and therefore poor communication. I am bi-cultural, so my family and I visit his country once a year. ...
A. 4 April 2012: Yes, do forget about him for the meantime. This doesn't mean you have to erase him from your memory but you should recognize that he chose to NOT date you any longer. You can't get much more specific than that.
It doesn't mean that you aren't wort... (read in full...)
My affair has gone horribly wrong!
Q. Hi, I'm in a jam. Well I'm married for 17 years and I had an affair for the first time in my marriage, I met this guy at work and fell head over heels for him but I told him from day one that I'm married and I'm not leaving my husband for no one, he ...
A. 4 April 2012: So you have a jailed exlover who stalked you so much you needed to notify police and he went to prison? What makes you think he won't continue to be desperate and inappropriate?
I'd tell your husband just so when the stalker goes completely off the ... (read in full...)
Lately I've been dreaming about an ex girlfriend, but I'm in a happy relationship. What does this mean?
Q. I've been in a relationship for nearly 6 months now. I love my girlfriend very much, but just recently I've started having dreams about an ex girlfriend. Me and my ex broke up over a year ago and we are very rarely in contact any more. I believe I'm ...
A. 4 April 2012: They are just dreams.
So have you had 2 or 22 dreams? Is this a few times that your dreams are uncomfortable or is this some sort of mental vendetta of your subconscious to ruin your current romance?
Now, having said that, maybe you are looking ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to carry a knife?
Q. Hi, I have a short, but somewhat odd question: is it normal for guys to carry knives? A guy that I'm thinking about dating carries one and I don't understand why. I tried to ask him but my friend was there and she just said: "why wouldn't he carry a ...
A. 4 April 2012: If you are living in a village of fishermen and fisherwomen and they need the knives to scale fish, then owning and carrying a knife is probably pretty normal. If you are a suburbanite whose biggest worry is what time the mall closes and how to ... (read in full...)
The night we started dating she slept with another guy and I cant forget it!
Q. I need help with settling inner turmoil. I have been with my current girlfriend for over a month and a half now, and I love her, and she says she loves me, but there is a problem. The night we started dating she slept with another guy. When I found ...
A. 4 April 2012: You're a month and a half into a new relationship. This is such a young relationship it's still in the "learn and get to know" phases. You're still in that phase, so is she.
The basic problem is that you identify with your insecure self, the one ... (read in full...)
Not making a "quota" system. How much sex per week?
Q. I'm tired of asking the wife and keep getting turned down for sex. We have sex 1-2 per month, I get a BJ approx. 2 times per month. Again, i am not keeping score. I know EVERYONE is different. But, is that something to complain about?...
A. 3 April 2012: "The wife" may be tired of being referred to or addressed as a disparaging label. How about trying to use these terms and making them count? "My love." "My bride." "The love of my life." "My amazing and wonderful woman."
Labeling her with a tag like... (read in full...)
What does emotionally raped mean?
Q. A girl told me she felt she was emotionally raped by another guy. What could this possibly mean? ...
A. 3 April 2012: He made her feel really really bad. What did she say when you asked her what this meant?... (read in full...)
How likely is it to get pregnant if you use condoms correctly?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we've both been wanting to have sex for awhile now but I am deathly afraid of getting preagnant and yes, we have condoms but I'm scared they'll fail and I can't get birth control because we have ...
A. 3 April 2012: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
15-24 pregnancies per 100 woman per year if used properly.
Best to add an additional method, such as a spermicide.
Do you have a doctor at al... (read in full...)
I'm flying to meet my LDR fiance in three days and he has said he doesn't love me anymore!
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old and I've been in a LDR with my german fiance (who's one month older than me) for 1 year and 5 months. We met for 3 times and spent one full week+2 weekends together in total. We were both virgins when we met but that changed. ...
A. 1 April 2012: "I just want to know HOW to act in order to make him love me again."
You act as yourself. You don't change to fit someone who has only spent 11 days in RL in the same room with you. If he doesn't love you for yourself, then he's not the guy for you.... (read in full...)
We got into my argument over my husband's drinking and he hit me!
Q. My husband and I got into am arguement over him drinking and coming home smelling like alcohol, so the other night he informed me that he was drinking a beer while driving home, that did not sit well with me, all I ask os that he not come home ...
A. 1 April 2012: Hi remy, I have a link for you which will provide some services to help you through this: http://www.thehotline.org/ It is the National Domestic Violence Hotline and if you call their number at 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-799-7233 you can speak to a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend gaining weight, how can I help him?
Q. My boyfriend is gainign weight. I'm not saying it to be harsh, I'm saying it because I'm worried about his health. Everytime I mention it he gets all defensive and goes 'you should be the one telling me I look great.' I don't know what to do, please ...
A. 1 April 2012: If he's aged 13-15 as well, it is perfectly reasonable to expect that he is still growing and maturing. Perhaps he's just experiencing some growth spurts? My brother used to gain weight just before he grew taller; my mother theorized he needed the ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a guy who's half my age
Q. Hi. I'm a 54 yr old woman, who honestly looks about 35. I'm very blessed. I work out, and have always taken good care of myself. I place a personal ad, and hesistantly, responded to a 27 yr old. He and I have lots in common. We are both college ...
A. 1 April 2012: If he makes you happy, go for it. The only thing I'd question is whether at age 55 having a child would be in the best interests of the child. When the child reached 20, you'd be 75. However, having a father who was 48 may be enough to offset that. ... (read in full...)
Was she always that person and I just didn't see it?
Q. Last night me and the boys were out and we saw a girl who looked familiar to someone we went to school with. Well, it was confirmed when she smiled and said hi to us. She looked a lot different to how I remember her! I don't want to sound rude bu...
A. 1 April 2012: Presumably you are different than you were at, say, 14 years of age? As you mature and gain confidence and polish, you will appear different to people.
Our appearance alters considerably over time; I can scarcely recognize the young men I knew when... (read in full...)
He thinks its okay to toy with my emotions!
Q. Why the need to hurt me? My ex and i broke up a few months back, it wasnt a good relationship, he had been hurtful and abusive to me, we also had kids which is why i choose to end it. He has continued to try and get back with me even though he still ...
A. 1 April 2012: Healthy, caring men do not think it's fine to toy with women's emotions. Abusive, selfish and hurtful men do. Make the distinction. Your ex is an abusive man.
Please, if you haven't yet, go in for counseling to see why you wound up with an abus... (read in full...)
My Friend will not associate with unattractive People, is this common?
Q. I'm 40, he's 22 and we've only been friends a short while. He's very intelligent - and I thought deep, until he told me that he doesn't associate with unattractive people because it badly reflects on him. He's heterosexual and his male friends ...
A. 31 March 2012: Ah, he's living in fear. Nothing time and wrinkles won't cure. :D... (read in full...)
Is it normal to want to explore women but not be interested in them?
Q. I want your advice and insight. I'm straight, I have a boyfriend but I often have fantasies of having sex with girls and I really enjoy watching lesbian porn. It feels weird to say that, but I feel like it's true. Or...maybe it just really really ...
A. 30 March 2012: Time for you to do some research on the spectrum of sexuality. Google "the Kinsey scale" (one result here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale ) which basically posits that human sexuality exists on a spectrum, there are people who are ... (read in full...)
I agreed to an open relationship, he said we'd talk about it once I was back off holiday but still no word....should I mention it?
Q. Ok, so I've been seeing this guy for the last six weeks. 4 and half weeks ago, he said he could only be in a relationship with me, if he had the chance to have sex with other women otherwise he wouldn't be happy in the relationship. so I said I ...
A. 30 March 2012: He's asked for an open relationship, you started the negotiation for how you'd be comfortable with it--which basically sounds like swinging--but now for some reason you are afraid to pursue this important conversation?
You have every right to brin... (read in full...)
He's gay but fools around with girls, but he's never made a move on me! What should I do?
Q. Hi guys and gals, I'd appreciate some help here.... There's this guy who's my college friend. He's gay and I think he's hot! Seriusly, im very attracted to him. Now recently i got a lil shock when i heard through the rumor mill that he was fool...
A. 30 March 2012: You're 30-35? Really? This sounds like someone who is much younger...
Ah well, I'll take a try at this one. You've heard he's bi, essentially, right? This means he is attracted to men and women. What this does not mean is that he is attracted to Y... (read in full...)
Would you spent a lot on a birthday gift for your partner if you received nothing for yours?
Q. Im curious to find out others opinions on this. Would you spent a considerable amount of money (over $400) on a birthday present for your boyfriend, if he did not get you anything for your birthday? (birthdays are few months apart). I know it isn't...
A. 30 March 2012: I agree that it seems very unbalanced. Zero from him but he expects a $400 gift from a financially strapped girlfriend? Hm. That would seem to lead to other questions...
Ah well, how about this idea: you spend $50 on something for the two of you,... (read in full...)
Should I find my wife a younger man to have sex with?
Q. i have trouble having sex for sometime and now my wife is not interested in sex she says its the mediciene she is taking should i find her a younger man to have sex with to satisfy her needs she has been patient but im afraid she will want sex ...
A. 29 March 2012: If my husband proposed this as a solution to a 'problem' that didn't exist for me, I'd worry that he had some other medical issues.
As long as you are still being physically close with her, through holding her and maintaining contact by hand... (read in full...)
I wanted to lose my virginity to another virgin, but they are hard to find. Should I use a prostitute instead?
Q. Ok, so my situation is that I'm a virgin, and I always wanted to lose it to another virgin, but I'm almost 20 and girls like that are very hard to come by, this is very important for me, because I wanted to be able to be each other first. I kn...
A. 29 March 2012: You find what you expect. You expect lying, people will accommodate you and lie. You expect the worse in people, people will oblige. You expect to have a lousy first sexual experience, it will be awful.
You don't have a plan. You have fears, whic... (read in full...)
I wanted to lose my virginity to another virgin, but they are hard to find. Should I use a prostitute instead?
Q. Ok, so my situation is that I'm a virgin, and I always wanted to lose it to another virgin, but I'm almost 20 and girls like that are very hard to come by, this is very important for me, because I wanted to be able to be each other first. I kn...
A. 28 March 2012: It's all delusionary, ego-generated drama over imaginary slights and imaginary girls. The mind has been working overtime on "solving" a "problem" that exists only in the mind, that was in fact created by the mind.
Stop thinking so much. Inner peac... (read in full...)
How do I snap out of thinking about my former crush? I know this is a fantasy and it isnt fair on my boyfriend to think like this!
Q. About 6 years ago, during my last year in law school I met this guy who I ended up having the biggest crush on. We had one class together and I schemed a little so as to end up in his study group. A few weeks into the semester I found out that he ...
A. 27 March 2012: I'd start by observing yourself when you start to obsess. "Ah, I'm starting to think about him. Let's see what my mind comes up with this time." And then just watch yourself think about him. Everytime you start to think about him, say that, out loud ... (read in full...)
Is my vagina supposed to look like this?
Q. Okay, This is more embarresing then anything and I amd soooo scared. See my friends are all doing stuff with there boyfriends and everything but I'm to scared because... I'm scared it looks diffrent.. I have wodered why mine have these skin flaps...
A. 27 March 2012: Great video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9tFk835vjo&feature=youtu.be&utm_source=InfoForTeens&utm_medium=callout&utm_campaign=differentisnormal
You'll have to copy/paste the link as the '?' interrupts the hyperlink.
You are perfectl... (read in full...)
Friends with benefits for 8 years, then I find out he is married! How do I get over this?
Q. hi everyone, could do with some advice please, how do you get over a man who you see for 8 years as friends with benefits? im totaly heartbroken and there isnt a day goes by i dont think of him. he got married 2 years ago and never told me and yet ...
A. 27 March 2012: You can't change the past. You can only choose to do the right thing at this moment, going forward. Start by doing a ritual expunging of him from your life, get rid of anything that was his or reminds you of him. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of ... (read in full...)
Awkward situation at work, what should I do?
Q. Hey aunts and uncles, I'm looking for some advice about an awkward situation at work. There's a new guy, X who recently (approx 3 months) started working at the same place as me. He's 22 and acts very loud and confident but seems to be insecure and ...
A. 27 March 2012: Time to start documenting and get the supervisor involved. First, arrange a meeting or use the next encounter you have with him. State, very clearly, "X, I am trying to conduct my professional life here and these advances and comments from you are ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex from 10 years ago sending me porn links?
Q. Hmmm, I need some help to understand why my ex bf has started sending me emails with links to porn videos?? We were together when we were 17-20, like nearly 10 years ago! I split up with him because I felt we'd grown apart. Haven't seen each ...
A. 27 March 2012: Maybe he's started drinking and wanking? Maybe he's developed a brain tumor? I don't think there's anything to be gained into fully understanding the reasons he's doing it. All you'll get is insight into stupidity or lust or some similar nonsense. ... (read in full...)
Is it really over?
Q. Hi everyone. I really need help with this as I don't know what to think or do myself :( My boyfriend and I split up last night after two and a half years together. I am so upset because it is like he has suddenly become a different person...
A. 27 March 2012: Do you ever actually see each other, or is the relationship played out via text, Twitter and Facebook? Because if it's a virtually-based relationship, I don't think it's a sustainable thing.
If you do in fact spend more time together and only occa... (read in full...)
He got nasty when I got ill and couldnt have sex!
Q. Hi,I had terrible problems with my stomach including constant pain for a whole year and spent that time in and out of the medical centre. Then my condition worsened. For a while it looked like I was going to have an operation and I was absolutely ...
A. 27 March 2012: He sounds very inconsiderate. I expect this extends beyond the bedroom. I am certain there are loving, sexy, considerate men out there... why waste any more time with this one?... (read in full...)
I wanted to lose my virginity to another virgin, but they are hard to find. Should I use a prostitute instead?
Q. Ok, so my situation is that I'm a virgin, and I always wanted to lose it to another virgin, but I'm almost 20 and girls like that are very hard to come by, this is very important for me, because I wanted to be able to be each other first. I kn...
A. 27 March 2012: I don't know why you have decided you are defeated before you have even started, There are plenty of women who feel the same way you do, you just are looking at the sexually active women for some reason. Maybe you are attracted only by a certain ... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can make up for a sub-optimal sized penis?
Q. If you are a woman who can have vaginal orgasms during penetrative sex (not g-spot orgasms), can you please tell me whether there is anything at all about a man that can make up for a sub-optimal sized penis during penetrative sex? E.g. for an av...
A. 27 March 2012: "she teaches women how to develop the ability" Um. Not to be a downer on the whole 'vaginal' orgasm thing, but um, if you have to go to special classes to be taught, and there are like um, two teachers out there, um, I think that perhaps that's a ... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can make up for a sub-optimal sized penis?
Q. If you are a woman who can have vaginal orgasms during penetrative sex (not g-spot orgasms), can you please tell me whether there is anything at all about a man that can make up for a sub-optimal sized penis during penetrative sex? E.g. for an av...
A. 26 March 2012: I have to admit to feeling a bit sorry for the woman whose lover has decided she is having the wrong type of orgasm. "No, darling, that's not the type of orgasm you're supposed to have, I want you to have a VAGINAL orgasm! I'm going to do this until ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling a mess, please help!
Q. Dumped almost a year ago , I never got a reasonable answer,(short term relationship), happily single for years before that. I didn't want lots of questions from family/friends in case it didn't work out (guess I was right there...)so said we were ...
A. 26 March 2012: You know what? It's time to stop putting up a front. Be honest. Say to yourself and everyone, "here I am, this is me, this is what you get." Stop pretending to be something you are not. I think it's too hard to really connect with other people when ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 17 February 2012: No, I don't think you are worrying too much. A history of violence like he has indicates he has some issues that he and his family need to cope with. If a guy has been in a number of fights and says that none of them were started by him, I rather ... (read in full...)
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