A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I really need help with this as I don't know what to think or do myself :( My boyfriend and I split up last night after two and a half years together. I am so upset because it is like he has suddenly become a different person, and not a nice one. At the start of our relationship we had some issues because he was still flirting with other girls constantly which I felt was hurtful and disrespectful. He stopped all this and constantly told me how much he loved me and he made me feel so special - like I was the most loved girl in the world.On Saturday he text me saying he was after getting his picture taken with a famous model who he really fancies. I did not care, but when he put it up on facebook, all these comments started from his friends and him, totally like what he was like at the start of the relationship. It hurt me so much. Then he took to Twitter and just kept taking the whole thing way too far and I was getting more and more upset. We ended up having a massive fight about it all because I felt like he was being disrespectful to be taking it so far and lots of people commented to me that he was making me look like an idiot. Yesterday was his birthday and I was really trying to sort the argument out so we could salvage his day but it just blew up into another fight and he told me not to contact him again for the rest of the day.I then noticed later on Twitter that he 'followed' a girl who had caused some issues between us in the past. This broke my heart, as it was like he was being a totally different person. I don't recognise all this stuff coming from him :(In the heat of the moment, I took down our relationship status on facebook because I really feel like i have just become worthless and unimportant to him in such a short space of time. What is so hard is that this came from nowhere, on the Saturday morning we were planning our next few weekends and were so excited about seeing each other.I don't know what to do or think, there has been no contact since last night and I'm wondering if it's just a case of it being done and dusted now? He's 24 and I am 23.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): I am the original poster! To answer some questions - we are very much a real life couple. We live an hour away at the moment, he is a newly qualified doctor and I am coming to the end of my teacher training, so for the last 5 weeks I have been crazy busy and not able to see him, or any of my friends. Other than the last five weeks we see each other quite regularly, at least once a week for about 3 days each time. We had what I had considered a really great relationship, and people used to comment to me about how in love with me he was.That is why I am all over the place with the breakup. I am wondering now if maybe he didn't love me at all if he is able to just cut me from his life?I deleted the facebook relationship status without saying anything to him, and we have not spoken about it. We have not spoken in 2 days now. I am very upset and terrified that we will just never ever speak again and that will be it!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Did you change your facebook status because you were upset with him without talking to him first?
Is this a real life relationship or just online?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Do you ever actually see each other, or is the relationship played out via text, Twitter and Facebook? Because if it's a virtually-based relationship, I don't think it's a sustainable thing.
If you do in fact spend more time together and only occasionally communicate via text, tweets and fb posts, then there may be a chance to salvage it, if you both realize that laying so much emphasis on this type of social networking isn't the way to nurture a healthy relationship.
The trust issues were there from the start, they just reappeared and obviously that wasn't really laid to rest. I would look for a boyfriend who doesn't tweet or spend time on Facebook and only texts when needed. That will be a better match for you. You stay off Twitter and Facebook too and you'll be amazed how different the world can seem!
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): Oh dear, how sad ... once again the woeful immaturity of the male of the species causes heartache. They just don't grow up as fast (or if ever, in some cases) as we do.
His behaviour was crass and insensitive and, given the doubts you had at the outset of your relationship it's no surprise you reacted as you did. Obviously I have no idea what he did or didn't say on Facebook/Twitter (Oh, how I hate these sites - they cause more trouble than they're worth), but it obviously hurt you very deeply.
So, where do you go from here? Do you think he should apologise? If he did, do you think you'd be inclined to accept his apology and, most importantly, can you say you have (or could ever really) trust this man? If the answer is "No, not 100%", then move on. Good luck.
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