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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 14 June 2012: Sorry, I just double-checked that link and I see it's a site requiring a membership. I have googled for you and found a few sites that may be a start for you:
http://aspergers.meetup.com/
http://as... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 14 June 2012: Ah, so you don't even know if you officially have Aspergers? Well, go get diagnosed. Then get yourself into one of the many support groups for people facing the challenges that this syndrome may mean. http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/ The socially m... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 25 May 2012: So, to sum up, you're angry with your wife because she had sex with guys in her youth, and you can't find any brothels for women? But you're fine with yourself because you had sex with girls in your youth and there are brothels for men? Is that ... (read in full...)
How can a woman cure her fishy odor?
Q. I feel helpless, I am very clean, and been to my doctors and she tested me. every thing can back normal, no infections. My boyfriend has stop having sex with me, because he say i smell fishy real bad, when he pre-cums, and cums. he even gag's. He ...
A. 24 May 2012: Thank you for your followup. I think I have to agree with the anon who said that dating a heavy drinker is a bad idea. You're already not having sex, he's insulting your body odor and he's making a joke out of it. I don't think this will get better, ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him, but I don't want to get him into trouble ...
Q. I'm 17 and I have recently fallen for a man who is really lovely, a complete gentleman and who wouldn't force me into anything I wouldn't want to do. Great right? Yeah...but he's 27. 10 years older than me. But I feel completely comfortable and at ...
A. 24 May 2012: Be cautious for now. What kind of work experience was it, out of curiosity? You've spent an afternoon kissing, he's working up to more. What more do you know about him? Have you talked about his family and friends? Have your family and friends met ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 24 May 2012: I think Cerberus summed it up nicely. Good thing you now know he's a liar and willing to deceive those around him. Why do people do that? I believe some people think with their genitalia. He must fall into that category. I think some people feel the ... (read in full...)
How do I tell this depressed man that the relationship is over and has been over?
Q. I happen to be in a happy, committed relationship with a really nice man. No problems there. The problem is that I used to be in an LDR with a man about two years ago. After we met, I realised that we weren't compatible and that there was no way it ...
A. 21 May 2012: "In the real world, no contact from you for a year means that the relationship as it was is over. Seek professional help you can't comprehend that basic fact. I would use the word 'ridiculous' but I don't want to cause you to do any self-harm. ... (read in full...)
How can a woman cure her fishy odor?
Q. I feel helpless, I am very clean, and been to my doctors and she tested me. every thing can back normal, no infections. My boyfriend has stop having sex with me, because he say i smell fishy real bad, when he pre-cums, and cums. he even gag's. He ...
A. 21 May 2012: Wait. Your doctor said he has a lot of yeast in his semen? Was she saying HE has an infection that is then transferred to you?
Have you noticed that you smell 'fishy' or was this something only he detected?... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 21 May 2012: So why not cross that bridge when you come to it? It seems to me the first thing is to start dating. Have you found help for your social anxiety issue? And what are the other 'disorders'? Perhaps they are holding you back from dating.
All you have... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 20 May 2012: Do you have an actual woman in mind or is this just an 'in case' kind of question?... (read in full...)
How do I tell this depressed man that the relationship is over and has been over?
Q. I happen to be in a happy, committed relationship with a really nice man. No problems there. The problem is that I used to be in an LDR with a man about two years ago. After we met, I realised that we weren't compatible and that there was no way it ...
A. 20 May 2012: He's trying emotional blackmail.
It's not your job to fix him by being in a relationship with him.
Just say, "Alas, Alan, I have to decline your offer to start up our old relationship. I have moved on. I wish you well, and I hope you get the medi... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him, but I don't want to get him into trouble ...
Q. I'm 17 and I have recently fallen for a man who is really lovely, a complete gentleman and who wouldn't force me into anything I wouldn't want to do. Great right? Yeah...but he's 27. 10 years older than me. But I feel completely comfortable and at ...
A. 20 May 2012: I'm sorry, you've already reached the stage where you are saying "he's a complete gentleman... who won't force me into anything I wouldn't want to do"? Hello? Translation to your parents: I've met a guy who's older than me and is gentling me along ... (read in full...)
Why won't he video chat with me?
Q. So i have been dating this guy online for about 2 months.. We knew eachother a long time ago via facebook. There was a break in the middle and we started talking again. And few months ago he told me he wanted something more than plain friendship and ...
A. 20 May 2012: Obviously, he has something to hide. Who can guess?
I would step away from the computer and phone for a while and get reacquainted with people in RL. Perhaps he will realize that you need some honesty from him.
... (read in full...)
Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator?
Q. Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator? A few years ago I bought my wife a vibrator to spice things up in the bedroom. She was a bit hesitant at first but after a while she would regularly use it to finish herself off. As the months w...
A. 20 May 2012: Why wouldn't you want your wife to experience pleasure, however she gets there?
She's in charge of her own sexuality, you are not the gatekeeper or owner of that part of herself, just as she is not the gatekeeper or owner of your body.
Light... (read in full...)
Is this fair? our relationship is over because I cheated over tens years ago!!! help!!
Q. How do I handle the fact of the man I have loved for 14 years wants to leave because of some things I did over 10 years ago. Even after him telling me that he love me and we were going to get through this together. Now it's I am inconsiderate, I do...
A. 20 May 2012: When did he find out about the affair?
If it was recently, can you blame him for being upset? It's all new and none of it's good, really, is it?
If it's been 10 years and he can't move on, perhaps you will need to do the moving on for him?
AT... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any experience with Micronor?
Q. Hello, thank you for reading for question and hopefully being able to help me. I have been on the contraceptive pill Micronor for at least six months (that I can remember), but over the past three months or so I have been experiencing ver...
A. 20 May 2012: "I really think I’ve started to annoy my nurse." So what? Who cares? She's there to help you, right? Become your own best advocate.
"This contraception isn't working for me, I am very worried about the side effects. The side effects seem to be x y ... (read in full...)
Confused, how much time and space does he need?
Q. Hi my name is Marissa 18 and this guy 18 i like is a we are just firends. We have been talking for about a month. He's very funny,cute,charming,a little shy but can hold a conversation basically he has alot of common traits with me. When we firs...
A. 20 May 2012: Here's the thing it took me a long time to learn: if he wanted to be with you, he'd spend a lot of time and effort to do so. Some guys are lazy and put in just enough effort to keep a couple of girls interested but when it really matters, they don... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 20 May 2012: Thanks for the follow up! Based on your answer, I think it's really safe to say that you didn't fill the role he was casting in the film of his love life. Thank goodness you didn't. A guy whose idea of a first kiss is lizard tongue, um, unless that ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the friendships?
Q. Hi, I have a really close group of friends composed of 2 other girls and a guy. The past year, my guy friend and I have become really close (we're not dating, he's gay). Sometimes we have gone out to parties without these other two friends. They are ...
A. 20 May 2012: Do you spend any time with the girls in this friendship? Because from what you write, he's getting all your attention. Look, if you feel that they are no longer worthy of being your friends, then by all means, allow the relationship to wither. If ... (read in full...)
How can I stay strong in my belief and not hurt him or disappoint him? I don't want to have sex for 2-3 years till we are married
Q. I am 23 and my bf is 25. We are committed. But there is little uncertainty in getting married. We are quite close and it has become tough for us not to get physical. I mean, I personally want to wait until our marriage and I am unable to convince ...
A. 20 May 2012: By the way, how long have you been a couple, how did you meet and when did he ask you to marry him? Thanks for the extra info.... (read in full...)
How can I stay strong in my belief and not hurt him or disappoint him? I don't want to have sex for 2-3 years till we are married
Q. I am 23 and my bf is 25. We are committed. But there is little uncertainty in getting married. We are quite close and it has become tough for us not to get physical. I mean, I personally want to wait until our marriage and I am unable to convince ...
A. 20 May 2012: Alternatively, you could decide that it is unfair on him to make him wait 2, 3 or even 4 years. Perhaps the best thing would be to let him go, until you are actually free to marry. This may be one of those all too common situations where the timing ... (read in full...)
I'm obviously doing something wrong with dating and need some advice
Q. right I'm not best person in world when it comes to relationships etc. but I've met a few lasses but never seem to end up in a proper relationship, 1st girlfriend I had when I was around 14/15, and was cheated on... aswell as being dumped the sane ...
A. 20 May 2012: Here, let's go off the hook. Try to chat us up. Give us the best of your last text exchanges. We will critique and offer suggestions. We will try our best not to upset or insult you but keep in mind that you are already a bit tender about this. Your ... (read in full...)
I'm obviously doing something wrong with dating and need some advice
Q. right I'm not best person in world when it comes to relationships etc. but I've met a few lasses but never seem to end up in a proper relationship, 1st girlfriend I had when I was around 14/15, and was cheated on... aswell as being dumped the sane ...
A. 20 May 2012: If you are texting the 'lasses' you meet, then perhaps they are put off by your grammar and spelling. Just a suggestion of something you may want to take a good look at. You've said you haven't had success with your current approach. I would take a ... (read in full...)
I'm obviously doing something wrong with dating and need some advice
Q. right I'm not best person in world when it comes to relationships etc. but I've met a few lasses but never seem to end up in a proper relationship, 1st girlfriend I had when I was around 14/15, and was cheated on... aswell as being dumped the sane ...
A. 20 May 2012: "my main concern is being a Virgin." vs "being a virgin doesn't bother me as much." Um. If you are confused, maybe the people you meet and talk to will be confused, as well?... (read in full...)
I'm obviously doing something wrong with dating and need some advice
Q. right I'm not best person in world when it comes to relationships etc. but I've met a few lasses but never seem to end up in a proper relationship, 1st girlfriend I had when I was around 14/15, and was cheated on... aswell as being dumped the sane ...
A. 20 May 2012: How about instead of getting caught up in texting, you ask them out properly? "We could text for days but I'd rather see you sooner. Lets have drinks at ****** at 7pm, my round to start."
Your spelling and grammar aren't great, maybe you are givi... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 19 May 2012: I'm sorry, I got stuck at the description of the first kiss. He went with tongue first, before even lips met? :P
His first expression of a kiss didn't match your expectations and I think he knows that the rest of what he has to offer won't like... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as getting sex lessons?
Q. This is going to sound weird and bizzare but can you get sex lessons anyywhere? I'm not very cnfident in the bedroom and I'm currently single. but is there such thing as getting sex llessons like actal physical lessons but not prostitutes?...
A. 19 May 2012: Is it confidence you need help with or sexual techniques? "How to" do all manner of sexual things is just a matter of google with 'safe search' off.
That being said, it is my understanding and belief that enthusiasm and a willingness to please and ... (read in full...)
How can I stay strong in my belief and not hurt him or disappoint him? I don't want to have sex for 2-3 years till we are married
Q. I am 23 and my bf is 25. We are committed. But there is little uncertainty in getting married. We are quite close and it has become tough for us not to get physical. I mean, I personally want to wait until our marriage and I am unable to convince ...
A. 19 May 2012: Why can't you get married in say, 6 months? If you are so close and see each other so often?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called my phone but called me someone else's name??
Q. Hi My bf fought with me couple of days back, because i called him twice when he was hanging out with his friends. After that I didn't call him and neither did he. Today he sent text, saying sorry for his shouting at me and i didn't resp...
A. 19 May 2012: "Hi there, either you had a brain fart or there's something really weird going on. You left a voicemail for XXX, which of course, as you know, is not my name. I'm a LOT freaked out about this and maybe the best thing to do for both of us is to ... (read in full...)
How can I get my hunny to enjoy more sexcapades with me.
Q. I am a 46m and me and wifey have stayed at a few swanky hotels to enjoy each other and have long awaited sex sessions due to kids at home.But when we get there it never fails I get real horny and she just wants to cuddle, WTF! So I go down stairs ...
A. 19 May 2012: Wait. How old are the kids? I ask because what she really may be looking forward to is a good night's sleep. Eight uninterrupted hours of blissful, no one is standing next to the bed saying "mommy mommy, emma's fed chocolate to the dog and jacob's ... (read in full...)
I'm obviously doing something wrong with dating and need some advice
Q. right I'm not best person in world when it comes to relationships etc. but I've met a few lasses but never seem to end up in a proper relationship, 1st girlfriend I had when I was around 14/15, and was cheated on... aswell as being dumped the sane ...
A. 19 May 2012: There's self-deprecating and there's plain old boring when it comes to chatting up the lasses. Right now, you are sounding really boring and frankly not interesting. Would you give you your number if you were the girl you were chatting to? Um, ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to his wife? Or just break with him? He has lied all the way
Q. I am in a relationship with a married man who is 20 years older to me. We met at work. He got transferred to our office from another branch. Initially we never really spoke much to each other, probably just say a good morning when we would pass by...
A. 19 May 2012: "He told me that he is ready to remain friends with me as no one else has ever understood him and loved him as much as I did."
This is a line. It is a lie. Translated, it means: "No one else has been this gullible, stuck around for as long and is w... (read in full...)
How can I get a cougar woman? This is a personal choice of mine, and I wish to get me a relationship with one.
Q. Hi, everyone. I have a specific goal that I wish to acheive. I'm in my early 20's, I still am a virgin, I STILL don't know what a kiss feels like, etc. So, I figure, to kill 2 birds with 1 stone, I should get together with a cougar. However,...
A. 19 May 2012: You want to attract an older woman? You haven't attracted a younger one, as you write.
Maybe you need to stop hoping a female will notice you and actually start talking to them, wherever you are. Just practice conversation with every one you meet... (read in full...)
How can I get my hunny to enjoy more sexcapades with me.
Q. I am a 46m and me and wifey have stayed at a few swanky hotels to enjoy each other and have long awaited sex sessions due to kids at home.But when we get there it never fails I get real horny and she just wants to cuddle, WTF! So I go down stairs ...
A. 19 May 2012: Why don't you simply cuddle with her for a while and give her enough time to get interested? If you leave her to go hang out in the hot tub, you're back at square one, you'll have to start with more cuddling because you went off in a huff.
Give her ... (read in full...)
Is this fair? our relationship is over because I cheated over tens years ago!!! help!!
Q. How do I handle the fact of the man I have loved for 14 years wants to leave because of some things I did over 10 years ago. Even after him telling me that he love me and we were going to get through this together. Now it's I am inconsiderate, I do...
A. 19 May 2012: Sorry, could you please clarify. Did you cheat on him 10 years ago, or were you not in a relationship with him at the time? The question as you posed it is a bit difficult to understand. Thank you.... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 18 May 2012: When I was in a similar situation, years ago, where I was waiting for a guy to decide where we stood, I talked to a male friend of mine. He put me on the right track, said, oh no, you don't, you don't sit around having handed him all the power, fret ... (read in full...)
Death in my husband's family will make them all drink and I don't want to be around it! What do I do?
Q. My husband has death in his family, and my heart goes out to the family but I really dont want to be around them cause all they do is drink, I mean really, if im in mourning I wouldnt be drinking and getting drunk, and he has the nerve to get mad at ...
A. 18 May 2012: He punches, hits or slaps you while he's drunk? Oh, that's an entirely different matter. Nope, off to Al-Anon for you, you need support. I'd also recommend you take a look at this site: http://www.thehotline.org/ and have a long think about you're ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 18 May 2012: Ahhh, okay, sorry, I thought it was a bit overly dramatic, I apologize that I didn't recognize it was a joke. I guess the issue is resolved and perhaps you have learned a bit more about yourself? I wish you well, and safe travels!... (read in full...)
What can I do to finally make my boyfriend see that he needs to take some responsibility!
Q. Help! What can I do to finally make my boyfriend see that he needs to take some responsibility! I have tried everything He works part-time, Between 3 and 4 days a week. I work part-time as well, but over 5 days. I start housework as soon as I get ...
A. 18 May 2012: "I have tried talking to him but he laughs and says when he is off work he is on holiday."
Response: Fancy that, that's a great idea. I am on holiday too! Wonderful!
And then stop doing anything for him. Only for you. Let the house turn into a t... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 18 May 2012: The number is not zero before you but it's also not in the 50 scale. It averages out to one guy every 6 months. One of the things teenagers do is make dubious choices. I think those poor choices are often helped along by alcohol. Teens are ... (read in full...)
For those of you who are sucessful in love: How did you do it?
Q. I have noticed that so many people (me included) are suffering when it comes to love. Maybe we are just doing all the wrong things. Maybe there is more to love than pure chance. One way to be successfull I've heard is to pay attention to wha...
A. 17 May 2012: Wow, you have a lot of questions. I wasn't successful in love until I learned how to communicate with him. I did some reading and some practicing and talked to girlfriends and guy friends for help.
how did it happen?
We were friends and it grew ... (read in full...)
How to suggest sex with my girlfriend?
Q. I want to have sex with my girlfriend,I dont want to be forceful or anything and im not sure how to ask......
A. 17 May 2012: Out to dinner one night, on a romantic evening, where you've enjoyed a nice meal and had a great time, walk her home and give her the best kiss ever. Look into her eyes and say, "That was so wonderful. I feel great, you are amazing. What should we ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 17 May 2012: Sounds like a lot of drama going on in their lives. Perhaps he chose her because some part of him recognized she liked to sneak around too? As you said in your original post, you've never been monogamous and open relationships make perfect sense. So ... (read in full...)
Why has my friend done a 180 on her attitude to sex?
Q. So I've had this friend (we're both straight females, just to take that out of the equation) for many, many MANY years. She's always been - well - 'easy' (for lack of a better/nicer term). She's divorced and has a couple young kids but none of that ...
A. 17 May 2012: Perhaps she's become aware you think she's 'easy' (as opposed to any of the other kinder/gentler words you could have chosen) and has decided not to give you any more ammunition that you can use to judge her later?
Perhaps she didn't understand the ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 17 May 2012: If you had collapsed with a flu-like symptoms, wouldn't you expect him to sleep in a different bed? He showed up when needed, a good sign. Standoffish isn't bad, you were ill and trying to push you to be intimate or discuss things would have been ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 17 May 2012: I agree with Cerberus.
I guess the easy way out of a moral dilemma is to ignore one's previously stated principles. Just bypass 'em. Easy peasy.... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a local policeman
Q. Hi. Thanks for Helping me. Anyways, I have a dilemma. There is a school police officer at school and he seems to like me. I have noticed him glancing at me. When we are outside and I'm with my friends, he goes and stands around the area where we...
A. 16 May 2012: Good luck with figuring it out! I'm sure it will all make sense in a year or two! :)... (read in full...)
My mom is dating a 33 year old guy, who's closer in age to me than her! Its so embarrassing!!
Q. My mom who is 49 years old is now dating a guy who is 33 years old and I don't know how to feel about the whole situation. I mean he's closer in age to me than her, she's never done anything like this before so I don't know whats going on. She has ...
A. 16 May 2012: Let her choose her own partners. As to what they see in each other, well, isn't that for them to decide?
Why not celebrate that your mother is alive and vital and interested in dating instead of second-guessing her choices?
Unless there's somethin... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a local policeman
Q. Hi. Thanks for Helping me. Anyways, I have a dilemma. There is a school police officer at school and he seems to like me. I have noticed him glancing at me. When we are outside and I'm with my friends, he goes and stands around the area where we...
A. 16 May 2012: You mean you never said to any of them "isn't that officer kinda cute?" Just to make sure he's not making the same kind of eyes at them? Chances are he's checking them out too....
I'll bet if you ask them tomorrow, someone will share a similar stor... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a local policeman
Q. Hi. Thanks for Helping me. Anyways, I have a dilemma. There is a school police officer at school and he seems to like me. I have noticed him glancing at me. When we are outside and I'm with my friends, he goes and stands around the area where we...
A. 16 May 2012: Why can't you tell your best friends? The thing about best friends is that you can tell them your deepest darkest most wicked secrets and they will tell you theirs. This secret sounds fairly common, nothing so risqué or weird unless you have ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 16 May 2012: Doesn't the term "open relationship" imply that all parties are aware that there are more sexual partners than just the two? So if this guy isn't disclosing his other sexual partners to her, then he's cheating on her.
I think that now that you know... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 14 May 2012: Breathe. Stop panicking. You've asked a question that has been troubling you and obviously, you two aren't running along the same path in synchronicity. That's why you're freaking out and that may be why he's freaking out.
It's okay.
Give him some... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 9 May 2012: If you want marriage and a family and he can't see the future after a year and a half with you, I think it is time to part ways with him. You want different things.
At least you know where you stand and can go forward from here, and you won't inve... (read in full...)
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