A
female
age
26-29,
*oraa
writes:My boyfriend is gainign weight. I'm not saying it to be harsh, I'm saying it because I'm worried about his health. Everytime I mention it he gets all defensive and goes 'you should be the one telling me I look great.' I don't know what to do, please help :/ Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 April 2012):
 If he's aged 13-15 as well, it is perfectly reasonable to expect that he is still growing and maturing. Perhaps he's just experiencing some growth spurts? My brother used to gain weight just before he grew taller; my mother theorized he needed the calories in order to grow properly. Why not wait for a year or two and see what happens then?
If he is growing only in the waistband, perhaps the best way you could deal with that is to model good eating and exercise habits. Don't meet up for a meal, meet up for a long walk. Discuss it with your parents if you are really worried, as he may have an underlying medical condition that hasn't been diagnosed properly; they could talk to his parents about it if they observe it as well.
At this point, obviously raising the issue has him defensive about it, so you may as well give discussing it a break. Don't talk about weight, talk about healthy habits instead.
Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 March 2012):
 Tell him that your his girlfriend, not his hired ego booster. You love him, and you are there to support him. But you are not there to lie to him. He is gaining weight, and you are concerned for his health. This isn't related to whether you think he looks good or not. You are attracted to him, and do find him to look good (if you thought he was repulsive you wouldn't be with him after all), but that just because you are his girlfriend doesn't make you blind. You love him and care for him, hence you also have a right to get concerned when you see him gaining weight and becoming unhealthy.
You have to be firm with him. Sorry. But if he can't take it or talk to you about it in an adult manner then you can't really have a working relationship with him because this will get in the way of you and him being happy. I was in a relationship once with an overweight man who acted the same way about it as your boyfriend does, by moping and crying and pitying himself if I tried to bring it up and talk about it.
Tell him that the reason you want to talk to him about it IS because you CARE. If you didn't care you wouldn't even be with him. As his girlfriend you care for HIM, and his health. You do not care for smoothing up his ego and feeding him lies about how he looks and pretend that you aren't seeing the weight he puts on.
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