A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hmmm, I need some help to understand why my ex bf has started sending me emails with links to porn videos?? We were together when we were 17-20, like nearly 10 years ago! I split up with him because I felt we'd grown apart. Haven't seen each other since we split, and I know he is currently engaged to a girl. BUT he suddenly started sending me links to porn videos. We never watched porn together before. He says things like: 'this girl's style reminds me of you', or 'i wish we'd done it like this', or 'her tits are just like yours...i wanna lick them.' I replied to the first one saying hey, are you ok? And left it at that. He didn't really reply, except to send another email with a porn link saying 'i think you'll enjoy this...you need to play with yourself while you're watching so that I can imagine you toying with that cute little p*ssy.' I guess I still care about him and am a little worried that he's not happy in his current relationship if he's sending me stuff like this. Right now, I'm ignoring it, but I got another email with 3 links today, saying 'hey naughty girl, i think you'll find these videos interesting.' Do you think he gets a kick out of thinking i'm watching them or something?? I can't understand his behaviour!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Consider this: If he'll send you links and messages like this while engaged to someone else, then if he were to be with you he wouldn't think twice before sending messages like this to another woman as well. He hasn't seen you in 10 years. There is no reason you should even be on his mind at all. If he's in love with you or has some weird obsession with you, then he has no business being with someone else, never mind consider marrying her. That's so wrong to waste that woman's life when he's still in love with another. Also, I must say, his way of contacting you is very inappropriate and disrespectful, whether or not he's in a relationship, (that part just makes it even worse.) It's one thing to contact you and say "hi how are you", it's a complete other to do what he's doing. It's like he thinks you're just some slut who was put on this earth to fulfill his fantasies. Block him, and put it out of your mind. Life is too short to waste your time thinking about people like him!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Maybe he's started drinking and wanking? Maybe he's developed a brain tumor? I don't think there's anything to be gained into fully understanding the reasons he's doing it. All you'll get is insight into stupidity or lust or some similar nonsense. And if he's got a brain tumor, that will show itself in other ways and he'll wind up getting the medical care he needs.
The other option is that his email has been hacked and the scammers are working to upload a virus to other computers. That's why the links and images are sent, to infect your computer.
Either way, um, yuck.
I'd deal with the practicalities and figure a way to remove him permanently from your life. Block his email and consign those weird messages to the digital ether.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 That's weird!, your ex starts out of the blue sending you porn links and explicit sexual comments ( i.e. he's crossing , with no invitation, any possible boundaries of
good taste and respect ) and your reaction is not blocking him right away. Or totally ignoring him till he gets tired . Or tell him to f..k off, and to stop that at once ,otherwise you are pressing charges. No, your reaction is " getting worried that he may not be happy in his relationship ". Why would you care if he's happy or not with his gf, and why would you help him having a nice wank on you, just because you were together 10 years ago !?
I don't get it, he is an ex , you haven't been in touch for ten years, and popping up with sexual suggestions is unbelievably inappropriate and arrogant of him, you should be furious, not curious !
Unless you are flattered of being fodder for his wanks , and you take it as a compliment. Ah well, that's up to you. But if this is not the case, the answer to why does he do that is simple: because he's a jerk and a wanker- and you are a pushover for not nipping this in the bud.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 He keeps sending you the links because you havn't told him to f**k off! He gets a kick out of it, because he is a pervert. He might be bored in his relationship, or he might just be an unfaithful perv reguardless of his relationship status.
Why are you concerned about his relationship? Are you hoping maybe he's bored with his fiance and wants to get back with you and run off into the sunset, get married, have babies and live happily ever after?
I am concerned that you are flattered by him sending you dirty videos and flirty messages, and that is blinding you to the fact this guy is a pig! First of all he is engaged. Also he hasn't seen you in 10 years! His first communication is sending you porn and dirty talk? That is out of order and creepy! The guy is messed up in the head.
So you want to know why he's doing it. Probably yeah he gets a kick out of it, because it is f****d up, it's dangerous because he's going behind his fiances back. Maybe he has been thinking about you and gets a kick out of thinking about his exs watching porn. Who knows...
Whatever his reasons, why do you care? Point is it's out of order. Unless you get a kick out of it too? Maybe that's what he's hoping for... Just don't be thinking of happy ever after with this guy. If he does this to a woman he has asked to marry him, he's not to be trusted.
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