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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 18 May 2012: When I was in a similar situation, years ago, where I was waiting for a guy to decide where we stood, I talked to a male friend of mine. He put me on the right track, said, oh no, you don't, you don't sit around having handed him all the power, fret ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 17 May 2012: If you had collapsed with a flu-like symptoms, wouldn't you expect him to sleep in a different bed? He showed up when needed, a good sign. Standoffish isn't bad, you were ill and trying to push you to be intimate or discuss things would have been ... (read in full...)
LDR not working and I've met someone closer. Do I end things?
Q. Hey im 20 yrs old,,im in this dilemma,i have been dating my guy for the past one year but it doesnt seem to work due to the long distance,we rarely meet,like twice in a year,i met this guy in the city i live,i liked him and i decided to give it a ...
A. 15 May 2012: Happy to hear your followup. I hope everything works out for you!... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 14 May 2012: Breathe. Stop panicking. You've asked a question that has been troubling you and obviously, you two aren't running along the same path in synchronicity. That's why you're freaking out and that may be why he's freaking out.
It's okay.
Give him some... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom to wear a bikini on holiday, its so embarassing!
Q. Having some trouble with my mom. What should I do? My mom, my younger brother and I will be going to Hawaii soon. I'm 15 years old. I'm all excited about going to Hawaii but I'm not happy with my mom buying a two piece bikini. She's in her early 40...
A. 11 May 2012: Hey, one last post on this. Could you do us aunts here a big favor? Please post on how the vacation in Hawaii went and how the whole bathing suit choice turned out. We so rarely get followups, it's nice when someone who has asked a question gives us ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont let me speak to any guys, not even to help out my friends!
Q. Hiii dear cupid..my question is why boyfriends are so possessive..im in a relationship..my bf is kind such a lovely guy..we met online on facebook..he doesnt allow me to talk with any boy..i accept this but there was a friend of mine who want my ...
A. 10 May 2012: His one teeny tiny problem is that he's a budding abusive partner. He may be a lovely charming, generous man with the exception that he wants to lock you up. That exception, alas, trumps the good stuff. He's not a good guy if he threatens or is ... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom to wear a bikini on holiday, its so embarassing!
Q. Having some trouble with my mom. What should I do? My mom, my younger brother and I will be going to Hawaii soon. I'm 15 years old. I'm all excited about going to Hawaii but I'm not happy with my mom buying a two piece bikini. She's in her early 40...
A. 10 May 2012: Presumably she's not picking up and dropping you off at school wearing a bikini. None of your friends will see her in the bikini, as she will be wearing it at the beach in Hawaii.
Look, I know it makes you uncomfortable to think that your moth... (read in full...)
What kind of porn do straight girls watch?
Q. What kind of porn do straight girls watch? And how often do they do it?...
A. 10 May 2012: I don't think I'd be going out on a limb to say that of the girls who are watching porn, they probably watch the kind that interests them, each, individually. You're asking a really broad question. It's like asking, what kind of porn do straight... (read in full...)
What kind of porn do straight girls watch?
Q. What kind of porn do straight girls watch? And how often do they do it?...
A. 10 May 2012: Are you under the impression that there's a single type of porn that will work for every straight female who watches porn? Which should be a small number as it is indeed illegal for girls and boys in your age bracket.
Why do you ask?... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom to wear a bikini on holiday, its so embarassing!
Q. Having some trouble with my mom. What should I do? My mom, my younger brother and I will be going to Hawaii soon. I'm 15 years old. I'm all excited about going to Hawaii but I'm not happy with my mom buying a two piece bikini. She's in her early 40...
A. 10 May 2012: Before I answer, I want to know if you have ever worn any of the following fashions in the past few years:
*jeans or pants where the waistband is tucked UNDER your butt cheeks
*any jeans, pants or shorts where your underwear is clearly visible... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont let me speak to any guys, not even to help out my friends!
Q. Hiii dear cupid..my question is why boyfriends are so possessive..im in a relationship..my bf is kind such a lovely guy..we met online on facebook..he doesnt allow me to talk with any boy..i accept this but there was a friend of mine who want my ...
A. 10 May 2012: How is he when you go out on dates?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont let me speak to any guys, not even to help out my friends!
Q. Hiii dear cupid..my question is why boyfriends are so possessive..im in a relationship..my bf is kind such a lovely guy..we met online on facebook..he doesnt allow me to talk with any boy..i accept this but there was a friend of mine who want my ...
A. 10 May 2012: He doesn't trust you. If he did, he wouldn't try to wall you off from the world.... (read in full...)
What is your opinion about what the wife should pay for after marriage?
Q. Dear cupid, I wanted your opinion on after a couple is married what is the wife, should the wife pay for? My Hubby to be wants me to pay the mortgage and he would pay for everything else ie taxes,food, insurance,pet care, car care,everything....
A. 9 May 2012: *may NOT qualify for a mortgage
... (read in full...)
What is your opinion about what the wife should pay for after marriage?
Q. Dear cupid, I wanted your opinion on after a couple is married what is the wife, should the wife pay for? My Hubby to be wants me to pay the mortgage and he would pay for everything else ie taxes,food, insurance,pet care, car care,everything....
A. 9 May 2012: Based on your question and your presumed followup, I'd say, get yourself to a qualified financial planner and figure it out. Also, run a credit check on your hubby to be, I suspect he may qualify for a mortgage on his own. There may be some ... (read in full...)
Do most relationships end when one of you goes to college/university?
Q. I met a wonderful girl though a friend 4 months ago, and that was it. We see eachother most nights and all weekend and it's just great. I'm really fussy but she is just perfect and she tells me i am the perfect guy that every girl dreams of. Her ...
A. 9 May 2012: You're imagining all these disasters befalling the relationship and all of this is fantasies of the future. Why not fantasize about how fantastic a time she'll have and what a wonderful growth opportunity this is for her instead? Why? Because you ... (read in full...)
I like both of them. What can I do? She doesn't want to socialize with me if my boyfriend is there too
Q. I have this friend who's really shy and awkward, she never had a boy interested in her and she's feeling pretty insecure because of it. Besides telling me all these things, she claims she doesn't want a relationship I used to be exactly like that...
A. 9 May 2012: Read this post for a bit of insight into how she may be feeing. I know this is a boyfriend situation and not just girl friends, but it still may help you think about what she's experiencing: ... (read in full...)
I feel like my friend of 11 years is replacing me!
Q. My best friend (let's call her Lily) and I have been joined at the hip since we were four. Now, eleven years later, I feel like I'm being replaced by someone(Sophie) who is constantly treating me like an idiot. Sophie has been in our friendship g...
A. 9 May 2012: Ah, sweetie, this happens in life. Friendships change and at your age, they can alter in very big ways in a short time. Please do yourself a huge favor and cultivate some new friends, give Lily plenty of space. She's made a new best friend and it ... (read in full...)
I like him when I'm with him, but when we're apart I want to just end it
Q. I've now been in a relationship for 4 weeks. Not long, but things are moving veryyy slowly. Probably too slowly. We were seeing each other before for about 2 months. We seemed to see each other more then than what we do now we're in a relationship. ...
A. 9 May 2012: Listen to the part of you that is telling you to end the relationship. It sounds like you have done most of the pursuit and at a certain point, it's become apparent he's not as into you as you would like. I'm sure there are better matches for you ... (read in full...)
LDR not working and I've met someone closer. Do I end things?
Q. Hey im 20 yrs old,,im in this dilemma,i have been dating my guy for the past one year but it doesnt seem to work due to the long distance,we rarely meet,like twice in a year,i met this guy in the city i live,i liked him and i decided to give it a ...
A. 9 May 2012: Just be firm and consistent in breaking up with LDR guy. "No, it's not working out for me. Sorry but it's time for you to move on. I will not be your girlfriend even if you move here in September. Sorry, I have decided and that is the final ... (read in full...)
He gets his kicks from sex but I don't get mine! How can I get him to pay more attention to my needs?
Q. Hi everyone. I have been posted a question but I found no response. I am trying to know that what is missing in our love relation. My hubby is very hot for sex. He likes sex, and lots of it. I found him sexualy hot but not emotionaly.he cares ...
A. 9 May 2012: "Oh, not so fast, my dear! Last time, I was left wanting and I know how hot you are, and I think you are sexy too! But this time, it's MY turn to come first. You know the term, 'ladies first?' Well, we are going to adopt that some of the time when ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont let me speak to any guys, not even to help out my friends!
Q. Hiii dear cupid..my question is why boyfriends are so possessive..im in a relationship..my bf is kind such a lovely guy..we met online on facebook..he doesnt allow me to talk with any boy..i accept this but there was a friend of mine who want my ...
A. 9 May 2012: He's a lovely kind boy who doesn't let you decide for yourself what you feel is right and snoops in your Facebook? He doesn't sound lovely to me. He sounds like a controlling and insecure guy. ... (read in full...)
I need help deciding whether to end my 6 year relationship or not....
Q. Contemplating ending a 6 year relationship with a good man who loves me. Nobody's perfect and I have ongoing beefs with him but he is loyal and true and MAY be doing his best to make me happy-- I need your input to decide. We have very differ...
A. 9 May 2012: Wow, someone who works for a fast food restaurant can afford manicures? That's wild. I would have thought those would be too pricey.
Okay, you are feeling that his daughter is being treated like a princess, and the rest of you are palace staff? Does... (read in full...)
This is my second marriage, what's the right way to go about it? Is it inappropriate to make a registry,have the shower, get the big dress, have the ceremony with attendants, and the traditional reception?
Q. My fiance and I are getting married. We are so excited!!! The problem is. This will be my 2nd marriage and his first. I don't know how to approach the planning process. My fiance and his family want to experience all the joys of a first time ...
A. 9 May 2012: It's not your job to plan a bridal shower. If someone wants to throw one for you, that's their prerogative, and there's no reason you shouldn't accept that.
Maybe the way to look at it is to ask yourself, if you were invited to your wedding, woul... (read in full...)
Have you ever wished your girl would ask you certain questions?
Q. Hi guys, I am currently dating a middle-aged man (he is 55 and I'm 34) and I would like to know how to make our conversations interesting, especially to him. For men who are in the same age bracket as him, what topics would you be interested to ...
A. 9 May 2012: Why don't you simply ask him if there are any questions he's never been asked but would like to express? Saves a lot of trouble. It shows you are interested and open to hearing what he has to say.... (read in full...)
What can I do to save my relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have three beautiful children together. Over the years we've had ups and downs like most couples but recently its been getting worse. I have gained wait since the birth of our last child who is about ...
A. 9 May 2012: Buy a food scale and use it to measure portion sizes. A small amount of cheese is fine, it's just that most people have no idea what a serving size looks like. With cheese, it's about the size of a pair or dice.
You can eat things you like, you have... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision by asking the question I was afraid to have an answer to?
Q. I just cornered my boyfriend of a year and a half and asked of he saw a future with me. He said he can't make me any promises and that his future is shady - but that he loves me My gut has been fearing this for awhile. He told me to get Some sle...
A. 9 May 2012: If you want marriage and a family and he can't see the future after a year and a half with you, I think it is time to part ways with him. You want different things.
At least you know where you stand and can go forward from here, and you won't inve... (read in full...)
What is a creative way to say 'I don't know' to him if he asks me out?
Q. I have a big problem! So there is this guy in my class and we both really like each other.... I think that Is great we talk to each other fine and all of that. But there is this school dance and all of the boys ask the girls to go with them. This ...
A. 8 May 2012: "This is so lame to admit but my mom made me promise to say "I don't know" and I'll have to check with her before I can say 'yes' to a date. I want to go with you but unfortunately I have to clear it with her first. Lame, I know. Sad, I know. But ... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable Cervix! Any ideas?
Q. Hello lovely aunts and uncles. I have something rather unusual happening regarding my reproductive organs. The last week, my vagina has been feeling more sensitive than usual when having sex, kind of like it's tighter in a squishier way but n...
A. 8 May 2012:
The NHS has a symptom checker feature. You may want to try that: http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/checksymptoms... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about how my ex will react to my posting my new dating status!
Q. Hey guys since i started uni, i started becoming very close to a guy in my course and my boyfriend was currently in new zealand for work, but i ended it with him as he wasnt the best of boyfriends we had gone through alot and played me a few ...
A. 8 May 2012: Why are you nervous?... (read in full...)
Things were going great with my MM until he separated?
Q. Have been having a relationship with my married boss for the past 4 years. It's a long story how it came about, but short version is it wasn't planned. We just got along well and he persued me first then we slept together and it went on from ...
A. 7 May 2012: The guy's life is in turmoil and unfortunately, you are not his priority. This fact is so glaringly obvious, it is blinding you.
I'm sorry, he doesn't love you enough to put aside private time for you, or to take the time to explain things to you.... (read in full...)
Slept with someone too soon, can't trust him. What to do?
Q. I really messed up. After being single a year I've been seeing someone I met online. From the start he said he wanted a relationship. Actions speak louder than words though. He said we would go out and do fun things. Yet he just seems to want me to ...
A. 7 May 2012: Give him space to pursue you and see what he does. It does sound like too much, too soon. Tell him you will be exclusive when the profile comes down. Until then, don't promise anything. Go out and have a great time with your girlfriends and don't be ... (read in full...)
Was he being over the top when he talked about my beauty? And will he still think I'm beautiful when we meet?
Q. Maybe i'm being stupid, i met this guy and he said i was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, he couldn't stop looking at me because he said it was hard to believe how gorgeous I was. He kept forgetting what he was talking about, or even what I ...
A. 7 May 2012: Maybe that's his patented pick up line? I'd approach with caution. Be yourself, wear what you feel good in and don't allow this to affect your self-confidence and poise.
A guy that over the top sounds like a guy who has successfully used that line... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable Cervix! Any ideas?
Q. Hello lovely aunts and uncles. I have something rather unusual happening regarding my reproductive organs. The last week, my vagina has been feeling more sensitive than usual when having sex, kind of like it's tighter in a squishier way but n...
A. 7 May 2012: Sounds like you may not be aroused enough for comfortable intercourse. The cervix moves around during arousal and as I understand it, it should be further away from the entrance to the vagina.
Take more time on arousal and less time with inte... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said "he's the boss of me, not me the boss of him!"
Q. Hello, I have a boyfriend we have been together for 2 and a half years hes and have recently hit some problems and we broke up for about a month, but after some talking we got back together. But yesterday he got annoyed at me for something ...
A. 7 May 2012: "Whoa. Let's talk about what you just said. What do you mean by that, precisely?"
If he really thinks he's your 'boss,' you have a choice. You can either accept your position as his employee, or you can think and choose and act for yourself, and ... (read in full...)
I sometimes just blank out and can't remember stuff.
Q. This isn't so much a relationship problem-well it half is half isn't. More of a medical problem which is causing relationship problems. Lately I've had a couple of black outs, both in work and most recently at home.I don't know why they've come on ...
A. 6 May 2012: The NHS have a website that includes a symptom checker. Here's the link: http://www.nhs.uk/nhsdirect/pages/symptoms.aspx
If you run your symptoms there, they'll pretty much tell you to seek medical advice fairly soon. Hope that helps move you towa... (read in full...)
I sometimes just blank out and can't remember stuff.
Q. This isn't so much a relationship problem-well it half is half isn't. More of a medical problem which is causing relationship problems. Lately I've had a couple of black outs, both in work and most recently at home.I don't know why they've come on ...
A. 6 May 2012: You have to see a doctor. You may have a medical condition that needs treatment. Don't put it off. Be well.
... (read in full...)
I'm not asking for much, just for the dog to be on the floor and for my boyfriend to give me a bit more attention than he gives the dog!
Q. I love my boyfriend to bits, but I feel like he doesnt appreciate me. Now we are both students and are very broke have no money, he has a part time job so gets a bit more than me. He drops me off to my house one day and I ask if he would like to ...
A. 5 May 2012: If I were in your position, I'd be looking for a new boyfriend, keeping my money to take myself out and not giving it to anyone to waste on gas. He's made it perfectly clear where you stand in his priorities. The question really is, why are you ... (read in full...)
I think she likes me, but the last 3 days aviods eye contact with me?
Q. Hi I need some advice. Its related to a girl at work who i thinks likes me. Over the past 3 months. 1. She has been staring lots 2. My mate transferred to her department and she asked a little about me and said to my mate "i seemed like a nic...
A. 4 May 2012: If all you've got is some eye contact and a few comments, I think you have a shy nervous person as a colleague. Is it appropriate to date in your office?
If you want to get to know her, ask your mate and her out for coffee after work sometime to s... (read in full...)
Should I accept my brother's girlfriend Facebook request?
Q. This may seem like no big deal but I should let you know that I keep my facebook friend list very limited. I don't go around sending or accepting requests for and from everyone I meet on the street. (this isn't twitter). I have about 100 hundred ...
A. 4 May 2012: The other option, as you seem to feel strongly about not being all over FB with acquaintances, is to make your profile invisible to people who search for it. Only your friends will be able to see you and your posts, if you set yourself to a high ... (read in full...)
Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 4 May 2012: I see, you find yourself financially trapped here. If I were you, I'd quietly see a divorce attorney for help in devising a plan to leave. It's certainly worth one visit to see if there's a feasible way out of the situation. Your freedom and life is ... (read in full...)
Is my boss attracted to me? If he is, how do I let him know I am attracted to him too?
Q. I am very much confused by a certain individual. He is much older than I am and he is my boss. He is not my immediate supervisor, but he is a higher up in the company and I work with him quite a lot. (I am aware that this is considered by most to be ...
A. 4 May 2012: He sounds like he has a 'schtick' and a playful nature. You may be reading too much into this.
Someone here has pointed out that there is no such thing as 'mixed messages.' Mixed messages appear to be confusing signals, when in fact what's happ... (read in full...)
Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 4 May 2012: I think the fact that you are asking what this man will think about you if you have an affair shows that you are ignoring the elephant in the room.
Your marriage is a shambles and frankly, sounds like a facade. If you don't have children, it will... (read in full...)
Going to senior prom with my friend: is this a proper 'date' or just a 'friend-date'?
Q. Yes, I'm having one of those teen-cliche-romance issues. Senior Prom: the word says it all. So I need to know, is this a "date" or a friend-date? And should my friend be mad at me? My guy friend, D, and I have known eachother since the learning...
A. 4 May 2012: "Hey K, we've been friends a long time, so I feel it's okay to ask you this. You know D and I are going to prom, are you okay with that? Because I'm seeing some signs which show you are really interested in him, and I don't want to be the third ... (read in full...)
I want anal again but she refuses! What should I do? I want to go with a call girl just for revenge!
Q. We did it two times but she doesn't want it anymore, the first time was painful to her but the second one she enjoyed because i did it a soft way! Now i desire to have anal intercourse again with her but she doesn't want it, we've talked about th...
A. 4 May 2012: You need to figure out a way to deal with it, rather than trying to coerce her into a sex act that is painful and humiliating for her. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-wife-wont-have-anal-sex-should-i5.html
You seem to be handling this abou... (read in full...)
Ex wants someone who looks like me - is she still hung up on me?
Q. I signed up to an online dating agency and saw an ex of mine on there. We broke up 3 years ago but she had described me as her ideal date! Right down to body type, hair and eye colour, personality traits Do you think she might just have a type or ...
A. 3 May 2012: Sounds like maybe you were her physical type but the personality and compatibility weren't there, as you are her ex. I wouldn't put too much stock in it, honestly.
... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend and his mixed signals
Q. My ex best friend whom i love (and i assume is either gay or bi because we flirted with each other about love etc) has broken up with me. It's been a while and i'm past the miserable days of crying over him. I still emo over him sometimes but i'...
A. 3 May 2012: According to my gay friends, there is no worse nightmare than being hung up on a guy who is still in the closet. They also told me that one should never ever date a guy who has just come out, not within the first year, anyway, as the adjustment ... (read in full...)
How would my taking drugs affect my unborn child?
Q. MOD NOTE: This is being posted but you REALLY need to talk to a health professional. We are not doctors on DC. I was two weeks late for my period so I took a pregnancy test today and found out I am pregnant. About 3 weeks ago I went out with my...
A. 3 May 2012: This question should be directed to your doctor. Why would you take the advice of non-medical anonymous random people on the Internet in a matter as important as this? We're fine for things like minor heartbreaks and crushes, cheating and ... (read in full...)
I wrote her a letter and I would like her decision. Or am I wasting my time with her?
Q. Hi, about four months ago, I asked a girl out and we ended up going on three dates; but after the third, she started acting a little weird by trying to zone me out. And then when I asked her why, she said she was sorry and didn't feel too comf...
A. 3 May 2012: She's made a decision, you just are so hopeful you can't see it. The decision is "no, I don't want to date you." Here are the tell-tale signs she's not interested: On your third date, she told you she didn't like the way you treated her She... (read in full...)
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