A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I had terrible problems with my stomach including constant pain for a whole year and spent that time in and out of the medical centre. Then my condition worsened. For a while it looked like I was going to have an operation and I was absolutely terrified. As part of my treatment my doctor prescribed me laxatives. I don't know if anyone has taken laxatives before. But I don't believe that anyone would think that you wake up and go to the toilet as normal after taking laxatives. The way they affected me was that they made my stomach go mad as soon as I woke up. I also needed to go to the toilet urgently. The thing is, my boyfriend would climb on top of me as soon as I stirred in the morning and want to have sex. Can you imagine waking up in the morning with a desperate urge to go and you have a thirteen stone man lying on top of you! I would say to him "I need to go to the toilet" and actually got nasty with me, and would turn around and say "I can't even touch you and your moaning". He knew I was taking laxatives and he did this every morning. It got to the point where I was feeling so down, with everything that was going on, I would set my alarm really early so that I could get up before him and sort myself out on the toilet first and avoid the nastyness. I wasn't refusing sex, I just needed to go to the toilet before anything else when I woke up. At one point I started talking about my illness and he said "what do you want me to do about it" so I never talked about it and I went to the hospital on my own. I worry in case I get ill in the future. I don't think I will get any support again when I really need him. I was at one of the lowest points I have ever been in my life but because he couldn't have sex when he commanded I think his true colours came out. Do you think he made a mistake or do you think he's just not a decent man? I mean do you think everyone would react like him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 March 2012):
 Also to add, morning sex is a bonus, not a right. What guy just crawls on top expecting sex EVERY morning? I mean morning sex can be lovely, but it's not something he's entitled to.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 I think he's just not a decent man. Dump him and find yourself a man who will respect you!
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (28 March 2012):
Sexual frustration can turn the nicest guy into a monster. This may be the reason your husband can be an inconsiderate jerk sometimes, but it certainly isn't an excuse for him though!If you really love him, try creeping to the bathroom early and if you then feel ok come back and wake him up with a bj. After hes cum tell him kind of jokingly that you understand his penis controls his body but your condition makes it difficult to always want sex. Then next time he tries to climb on top of you, laugh and tell him to tell his friend he will have to wait!! Humor can usually defuse the situation, even if you don't feel like being too funny at the time.More importantly get more professional help on your condition. Long term laxative consumption is only dealing with the symptoms. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): You really deserve better sweetie.
He should be consderate to how you're feeling. It's not much to ask to go to the toilet first before you have sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): did He realize you was saying no because you was not well? Or does he think its an excuse your using not to have sex?
Is your sex life good otherwise?
You need to communicate with him. Tell him your ill and explain about the mornings etc. Then you will see if he is being an idiot or not.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2012):
 He’s a child and an idiot and he does not care about you only himself.
I am not sure what you mean by saying HE made a mistake… if this was an ongoing morning routine from him (as opposed to a ONE time deal) HE is the mistake…..
I just recently was given a lifetime sentence of crippling arthritis in my spine… there are days I CANNOT even get out of bed without help. I am with a man who is much younger than I am and we are engaged but not married yet. I gave him the option of leaving the relationship now before it got to the point where he had to push me in a wheelchair daily….. before we were past the point of no return as it were. He said “I’m in for life”… he drives me to my appointments that require me to have an aide (some procedures I’m not allowed to drive after)… and he brings me my meds and food and explains to my grown children what’s going on when I’m too sick to do for myself…. I’ve been allowed to cry and have a pity party and feel sorry for myself….. with him supporting me emotionally and physically. THAT is a partner.
What you describe is a man who only cares for himself….. I do not think this is the proper or common reaction of a man who loves a woman… because if you love someone it’s not ONLY about the sex… long term relationships are about comfort, support, friendship, etc. NOT just sex.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 He sounds very inconsiderate. I expect this extends beyond the bedroom. I am certain there are loving, sexy, considerate men out there... why waste any more time with this one?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2012):
 What an asshat! Dump his ridiculous behind asap! Talk about lack of respect, common decency and empathy...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 March 2012):
Holy smokes what a jerk! I don't even know what to say, he obviously has no respect for you whatsoever. I would say what happens if you really get sick, but you were in the hospital and need surgery and this IS how he's behaving. You are not a sex toy, you are his girlfriend! He does not get to demand sex every morning or he will treat you like garbage. You should dump him immediately.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): You don't REALLY have to ask the question, do you? You already know he's a pig, you just need the confirmation of others to reinforce what you already know. Yes! You should definitely either leave him, or kick him out, and do it SOON! He doesn't love or respect you. Good luck and try to choose better next time.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 I doubt many people would ever dream of acting like this. He clearly cares more about his penis than you, is this really the sort of man you want to be in a relationship with?
He was completely out of order to do this, you were not refusing sex, simply going to the toilet first before sex. He is totally unreasonable and very cruel to act like this when he knew you were ill.
I personally think he is nowhere close to a decent man, and you should be very worried about the future because he doesnt care about you or respect you, so chances are he wont treat you right in the future.
I think you have seen his true colours, so now it is up to you - is this really the kind of man you want to be with long term? I would guess the answer is no, so perhaps it is time to move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 "Sounds" like a delightful, thoughtful "B/F" you've got there...... How quickly can you tell him "Good by" and take another address?????
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (27 March 2012):
 No not everybody would react like him, the vast majority of people are decent, caring human beings. Unlucky for you that you got one of the rotten ones.
He sounds like a real jerk, I would also be worried about what might happen if you ever really need him to help, I doubt he would come through for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): No, I think he's a jerk and an a**hole and you deserve better. If he loved you he'd consider your wants and needs as well as his own. He sounds horribly selfish and uncaring, and if I were you I'd leave him in a heartbeat. Good luck!!
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