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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 27 September 2013: Okay, we get that you don't want to pay alimony. That doesn't change the fact that you were ordered by a court to do so. If you want to change the alimony agreement, go see your attorney and see if you can petition the court for the settlement to be ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 27 September 2013: OP, I went back and re-read some of your many posts on this topic. I found this quote very telling: "He has told me from day one that he is not leaving his wife." from this post: ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become obsessed over his penis size and its ruining our sex lives!
Q. My partner has a real issue with the size of his penis to the point of obsession. I'm not innocent in this but I feel helpless as to how to sort it out, move on and heal our relationship if possible. We've been together 7 years and he's always ...
A. 27 September 2013: "And the reason I don't want to leave him is because I want to be there for him to help him through this, not just abandon him. I have committed myself to him after all. And because at lucid times he is the man I fell in love with and it's like ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 27 September 2013: The very best way to remain sane would be to dump the cheater and move on. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become obsessed over his penis size and its ruining our sex lives!
Q. My partner has a real issue with the size of his penis to the point of obsession. I'm not innocent in this but I feel helpless as to how to sort it out, move on and heal our relationship if possible. We've been together 7 years and he's always ...
A. 27 September 2013: Oh for heaven's sake, walk out. He has problem and it's not your fault. He may eventually come to figure out that his penis is fine but if he's casting blame on you then it seems to me to be a toxic relationship. The penis size issue is probably ... (read in full...)
Am I attracted just because he's a nice guy?
Q. Need help decoding mixed signals. There is a guy I'm interested in, and I know he's interested in my too (at least to an extent). He bought tickets to fly out to visit me. I know him from a long time ago-but we were only acquaintances. ...
A. 26 September 2013: As you both have decided that neither can move to be with the other, it's all kind of a nice fantasy at this point. Maybe it's what you need to have in your life to transition from a bad marriage to the next love in your life. Having him in your ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner that I'm ready to marry now? Or wait?
Q. ive been thinking of it for quite sometime now... ive been with my partner for 9 long years but have not decided to ger married yet... well he did ask me once 5yrs ago but i told him im not ready yet since then we havent talked about it again... our ...
A. 26 September 2013: If you are scared to talk to him, you could write him a letter explaining your feelings. Then he'd know where you stand. I'm still worried for you that you two have been together for 9 years and haven't worked out how to talk about big life stuff. ... (read in full...)
Why is He Sending Mixed Signals? Does He Like Me?
Q. Hey....That guy that asked me to homecoming? He's sending tons of mixed signals. I have no idea what to do. I overheard him talking to my friend that he's gonna ask me out to be his gf at homecoming, but idk anymore. He usually isn't on his phone, ...
A. 26 September 2013: He's sending mixed signals because he's an immature clueless boy at the moment. Not much you can do but let him figure it out. It's not you, it's him, he's just a flaky teenager still figuring out how to navigate the complexities of girls and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become obsessed over his penis size and its ruining our sex lives!
Q. My partner has a real issue with the size of his penis to the point of obsession. I'm not innocent in this but I feel helpless as to how to sort it out, move on and heal our relationship if possible. We've been together 7 years and he's always ...
A. 26 September 2013: Get him into therapy, perhaps a good sex therapist may be the best thing.
You can't fix this for him, it's all in his head. Sorry he's gone all obsessive about it, it's sad for him and for you.... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 26 September 2013: What made you 'ordinary' to him? Nothing except his controlling need to keep you downtrodden and cowed.
Why do you accept his flawed assessment of you? No one can make you feel this bad unless you actively participate and believe it.
As you seem... (read in full...)
I don't want to think I'm damaged but how do I get over a bad relationship?
Q. I left a very abusive relationship a couple of months ago, and in class I've met a wonderful law student who is helping me with all the legal issues involving my ex. He has been very kind and supportive and always encourages me to keep pursuing ...
A. 26 September 2013: You aren't ready for a relationship just yet, if you even have to ask people. I have a link for you to find appropriate counseling and ensure that you are getting the right help: http://www.thehotline.org
How can you get over this? With qual... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner that I'm ready to marry now? Or wait?
Q. ive been thinking of it for quite sometime now... ive been with my partner for 9 long years but have not decided to ger married yet... well he did ask me once 5yrs ago but i told him im not ready yet since then we havent talked about it again... our ...
A. 26 September 2013: You've let this go on for FOUR years without ever talking about it? Wow.
Tell him it's time to start to talk about the future again. And if you two have this much trouble communicating then maybe you could both read the same self-help book so you ... (read in full...)
Why do I want to hold onto my ex when he cheated and I didn't?
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I are still communicating and I still love him but hes distancing himself from me. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and his reason for being aloof is his son is talking back to his mom. Yrs ago we were in a rela...
A. 26 September 2013: You are the victim of an abusive relationship and the very best thing you could do for yourself is to get some counseling, some help, to figure how to heal.
http://www.thehotline.org/2013/05/finding-closure-after-abuse/
For whatever reason, ... (read in full...)
Crush admitted that he kissed me only because he was drunk!
Q. Ok I've been in love with this guy for like 2 years but he's never gown that kind of interest in me, we're just close friends - we can talk about whatever- and sometimes we flirt a little but he flirts with everyone really, anyway we got drunk at a ...
A. 26 September 2013: Here's the thing. He likes you enough to make out from time to time when drunk. Big deal.
He doesn't like you enough to pursue you as a man when sober and with no limits.
In other words, sadly, he doesn't like you enough.
He's kind of a creep, rea... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I can get into the dirty talk!
Q. I am in a new relationship and one of the things that my guy likes is rough sex. I can handle rough sex, but he also likes dirty talk like saying words like whore. I'm not sure if I can get into it. I'm trying to be positive about it since I have ...
A. 26 September 2013: Is this guy a FWB? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-ok-to-text-a-fwb-every.html
Because if he knows he's just no strings attached sex then he doesn't care all that much about what you want. He's getting his, if you want yours, you're goin... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 26 September 2013: Oh, I loved this little photo essay. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/03/porn-stars-without-make-up_n_3379731.html Very eye-opening, don't you think?
A lot of make up can change the way you are perceived.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I can get into the dirty talk!
Q. I am in a new relationship and one of the things that my guy likes is rough sex. I can handle rough sex, but he also likes dirty talk like saying words like whore. I'm not sure if I can get into it. I'm trying to be positive about it since I have ...
A. 26 September 2013: I would let him know that you don't feel all that happy and comfortable with the dirty talk, including being called a whore.
Is this the MMA guy? Rough sex, without checking if you like it too? Calling you a whore during sex, without checking if y... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 26 September 2013: You want to be a glamour model? Is that your sincere highest aspiration? Really?
Or is this a reaction to your ex-bf looking at glamour models and porn and you wondering why?
He's an EX, why even define yourself by his limited standards? Glamour ... (read in full...)
My date stared at me intensely all night. I mentioned it to him and he said we were too different??
Q. I've been getting along well with this guy. We went on a date a few days ago and it all went well. However, throughout the date all he did was stare. Please, I'm really not big headed. But it was so intense that I became really awkward and shy....
A. 25 September 2013: He's a socially awkward person, obviously.
Why do you feel the need to understand him, if things aren't going to happen between you two? Waste of time, isn't it?
Good luck with the next guy!... (read in full...)
Ideas for special person stuck in hospital?
Q. I need some nice ideas to do for someone close to me who has a diagnosis of terminal cancer and stuck in hospital? ...
A. 25 September 2013: If they love cake, bring a cake every week.
Bring in a DVD player so they can watch their favorite films or TV shows.
Bring in their photo albums so they can enjoy going through them.
It really does depend on what the person wants and where the pe... (read in full...)
Ideas for special person stuck in hospital?
Q. I need some nice ideas to do for someone close to me who has a diagnosis of terminal cancer and stuck in hospital? ...
A. 25 September 2013: Is it a child, teenager or adult? Young adult or older? Male or female?
Bring books and magazines that the person enjoys. Music on an MP3 player and earphones. Noise-cancelling earphones to keep the din of the hospital out and reduce stress.
If th... (read in full...)
Are my friends right and I'm in denial?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm usually giving advice on this site, but some of the posts here had me rethink my dating behavior and my good friends recently hint that I might be in denial of something, so here's my story. Throughout my youth, I felt li...
A. 25 September 2013: Hey, good luck in dating. I hope you find someone wonderful, who makes you an even better person. When you are sitting in peace with yourself, I expect the right person will be attracted and you'll know it. :)... (read in full...)
I just discovered that his ex owes him a lot of money!
Q. Hello Aunties! I have been with my bf for 3 1/2 yrs, we have lived together for the last 2yrs. He treats me like a queen...however....his ex who lives in another country and has been engaged throughout our entire relationship is a problem. They do...
A. 24 September 2013: Whoa. He's been lying to you for 2 years about his financial disaster?
Is he that gullible and insensitive? Really? Are you even certain he's told you the entire truth? I would be very concerned that he'd been lying about this for the past 2 or long... (read in full...)
She had a breakdown when I was her advisor and now 6 years later, she's sending me very strange emails. What do I do?
Q. About six years ago I advised a graduate student from China who didn't do well in the lab and failed to complete her project. She left with a Master's degree but also went a little nuts when she was here. I had to take her to the Psych ward at the ...
A. 24 September 2013: If you are at a major university in the US, be sure also to contact IT and get the emails diverted to the appropriate office. Assuming your phone is on the university system as well, they should be able to block her calls to you and your ... (read in full...)
How can you practice kissing?
Q. Hey. :) So I have a serious issue. I got a date to homecoming and everyone keeps saying the guy is gonna kiss me. Problem is, I have no idea how to kiss. I've never had my first kiss and I'm not one to like practice bc how are you supposed to ...
A. 24 September 2013: I was wrong about youtube. I just searched "how to kiss" and there are 10,000,000 results. So I think you have something to work with.
Talk to mom, she'll help you out.... (read in full...)
How can you practice kissing?
Q. Hey. :) So I have a serious issue. I got a date to homecoming and everyone keeps saying the guy is gonna kiss me. Problem is, I have no idea how to kiss. I've never had my first kiss and I'm not one to like practice bc how are you supposed to ...
A. 24 September 2013: This is going to sound weird, but I'd ask your mom about it. She knows you have a date and are likely to have a first kiss. Moms are actually just ordinary people who were once teenagers like you and had their own experience of a first kiss. ... (read in full...)
She had a breakdown when I was her advisor and now 6 years later, she's sending me very strange emails. What do I do?
Q. About six years ago I advised a graduate student from China who didn't do well in the lab and failed to complete her project. She left with a Master's degree but also went a little nuts when she was here. I had to take her to the Psych ward at the ...
A. 24 September 2013: I second C. Grant's post and I would add that you should go to your supervisor and HR and make sure they know what is going on. She's sending emails to your work email and contacting your colleagues. If you don't notify them of this email harassment ... (read in full...)
I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 24 September 2013: You have a court order to pay the alimony. If your circumstances have changed and your income has dropped, then you have to go back to court and get an adjustment to the alimony award.
Don't keep on paying late, this will wind up with your wage... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, then says I'll be amazing for someone else ?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a while now, we want to take things slow but he says things that make me feel like he doesn't want me. I'm left confused about the situation and I need some clarity. Last night he told me how much he Loved me....
A. 24 September 2013: He's letting you down, a bit too gently. You're a lovely girl but you are not the girl he wants.
It's not confusing once you absorb that. I'm sorry he's not going to be the love of your life. I think it may be easier for you to end contact with him ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with an extremely moody boyfriend?
Q. How do I deal with an extremely moody boyfriend? I've been with him for 4 years (he is 25, I'm 27) and he has always been moody but it's getting harder and harder to deal with these days. For example we have just returned from a trip abroad to s...
A. 23 September 2013: Thank you for the follow up, and the added information.
I think I would recommend you read the recommended books but I would also start to ask him to look at his reactions and responses. If he's this "moody" and thinks it's all your problem,... (read in full...)
Do I ask her before I touch more intimately?
Q. Dear all, I am very inexperienced with women, although I do currently have a lovely girlfriend who I love and adore so very much. We've been intimate with touching each other, but I just had to ask how touch can be taken further? I massage my gir...
A. 23 September 2013: Is she in the same age bracket?
I think it's honorable that you want to respect her boundaries and do things the right way.
I think as you are in your 30s and presumably she's an adult as well, you should just gently keep on getting physical... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 23 September 2013: Oh for heaven's sake, he's got you aging like a side of beef in a fridge. He's "talking" with you? PFFFFFFFFSHAW. That's a load of cow manure. As in a load of SHIT. He refuses to let you see other people? HA! HAahahahahaha! Omg, are you really g... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to save photos from facebook?
Q. I have taken to saving pictures of girls in my class wearing bikinis from Facebook or Twitter. All I want to know is if it is first of all legal and secondly if its creepy to do so. I've never shown anyone this and nobody knows I do it. I am ...
A. 23 September 2013: Saving files like this sounds just fine until your mom opens up the device you use to save the pictures. Or your sister. Or your dad.
[As for the girls your age posting bikini pictures, well, leave that for their moms and dads to deal with.]
Do yo... (read in full...)
Why do I break condoms?
Q. Why is it that I break condoms regularly. It happens about 20% of the time which is very often considering I'm very sexually active. It's very concerning to me as usual hookups that are supposed to be pleasurable end up in paranoia and fear of ...
A. 23 September 2013: If you are breaking one out of five condoms then you either have a bad batch, are opening them wrong. are using the wrong lubricant or don't know how to use them. Here's a good link for you:
h... (read in full...)
Do I ask her before I touch more intimately?
Q. Dear all, I am very inexperienced with women, although I do currently have a lovely girlfriend who I love and adore so very much. We've been intimate with touching each other, but I just had to ask how touch can be taken further? I massage my gir...
A. 23 September 2013: I think you just keep on touching her in the way you describe, getting closer to the 'private areas' until she can't stand it any more and puts your hands where she wants them.
Use very light strokes on the sides of her back and on her lower back... (read in full...)
Wife improves behavior but I cannot love her again
Q. My wife was abusive to me and our kids for over 10 years. She did many horrendous things, including verbal abuse, lying, manipulation, and, in general, not expressing any love to me and our kids. We talked about these things over time, but she was ...
A. 23 September 2013: Did you ever have therapy? You chose her and lived with her for many years before becoming aware of the toxic relationship. That might suggest you have something to work on. At the very least, guilt for allowing the abuse of your children.
I thin... (read in full...)
How do I deal with an extremely moody boyfriend?
Q. How do I deal with an extremely moody boyfriend? I've been with him for 4 years (he is 25, I'm 27) and he has always been moody but it's getting harder and harder to deal with these days. For example we have just returned from a trip abroad to s...
A. 23 September 2013: Is he aware you think he is moody? Is he aware he is moody? Have you discussed this in the past?
I would put on headphones and ignore him until he was willing to be civil and polite.
If he's just cranky because it's 3 am and there hasn't been cof... (read in full...)
I don't think the time is right to tell my parents I'm seeing a boy from another faith
Q. im a 21 year old catholic girl in love with a hindu boy of the same age. sweet n short.. the problem is religion. although we have been in this relationship for 1yr and his folks knew about it they were cool. they even accepted. but my parents don ...
A. 23 September 2013: "We agreed that we would tell my parents when I have a job. I don't have a job yet. Why are you insisting on telling my parents?" Ask him.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend believes I don't know how to act in social situations.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now, and in the last few months he's been making comments that have made me think he is getting annoyed at the fact I am quite shy. I've always been that way - I was seriously shy as...
A. 23 September 2013: Why should you have to work out why he's suddenly changed? After 5 years, presumably he should be able to discuss things with you calmly, lovingly, and rationally. So ask him.
If he gets irate or refuses to discuss it like a grown up, I would tell... (read in full...)
Contraception -- condoms and what else?
Q. When having sex should i use one or two forms of contraception just to be on the safe side?? I know i should ask him to use a condom but what other contraception should i use???...
A. 22 September 2013: Hi there, you are asking a question which we can't really answer, as you are an individual with specific needs. It would be a great idea for you to pop into your doctor's and have a consultation on your best options.
As you are in the UK, and have... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: Is this your previous post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-man-dumped-me-and-i-am-feeling.html ?
If not, have a read through that. It shows the extremes of emotion which seem to sound a bit like your situation.
I wouldn't trust this guy... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's depression: Am I handling it in the wrong way?
Q. My girlfriend suffers from depression. sometimes it's worse than others and right now it's really bad. I'm talking to the point where she can't fulfill her daily functions. She's sleeping through all of her classes and exams and missing work. ...
A. 19 September 2013: She needs to be seen by a doctor, who can examine her and diagnose her. She may have something else besides depression. Make an appointment with her doctor and get her there.
Depression isn't something you can just 'snap out' of. She can't help it. ... (read in full...)
How Long Do You Pay For EVERYTHING When Dating?
Q. At what point do you start to split the bills, if you will, when dating? I'm 3 weeks or so into it with this girl, and I'm starting to really feel the burn on my wallet. I know she's not a "gold digger" and I'm almost more than certain she'd be fine ...
A. 17 September 2013: "Sort of seeing"? As in, she's seeing other people and you're seeing other people as well? Or as in, she's consenting to go out with you after you beg her to allow you to escort her places? Or as in, she wants to take her time before she says "yes, ... (read in full...)
How do I keep this rude and obnoxious man away from my wedding, yet still have my close friend attend?
Q. Dear All, I am getting married next year and I'm really happy about it. We are planning a very small, intimate wedding of about 25 people. My problem is that a couple of years ago, one of my closest friends left her husband, and started li...
A. 16 September 2013: Why exactly do you want her there?
If she's one of your close friends, why didn't you simply go to her when he became a problem? "Sheila, I recognize you are in an open relationship with Biff. I don't know Biff well and I'm getting these odd text... (read in full...)
Is there ever an instance when abuse and fear of your significant other is justified?
Q. I am wondering if there is ever an instance when abuse and fear of your significant other is justified. My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him even though he knows it's not true. He bases this on my ex still contacting me(my ex loves in another...
A. 16 September 2013: He is an abusive man. You may come to realize that if you do the wise thing and go here http://www.thehotline.org and get some help.
He was NOT justified in his treatment of you.
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
My mother thinks I should use birth control but I disagree
Q. Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. ...
A. 16 September 2013: So, let's review. You've been dating a boy long enough to have sex with him and yet your mother just met him? So you've been hiding him from her.
You're having sex without condoms? Is he withdrawing before ejaculating, is that your idea of bein... (read in full...)
Are my friends right and I'm in denial?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm usually giving advice on this site, but some of the posts here had me rethink my dating behavior and my good friends recently hint that I might be in denial of something, so here's my story. Throughout my youth, I felt li...
A. 2 September 2013: Hi Euphoric. I think that when you stop trying to do things that make other people happy, such as dating guys you don't really like all that well, and start paying attention to what makes you happy, you'll figure it out.
As for X, well, I think your... (read in full...)
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