A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. i am sexually active yes but very very safe but she does not know that though. when she said that i must take the pills i told her that we not sexually active. her reply was you can never predict a boy. so we are active and i think i mustn't take them because we have done it several times without anything happening so what can u suggest for me to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2013): Listen to your mum.
When I was 16, I became pregnant after having sex for 60 seconds without protection. He didn't even ejaculate, it was purely from pre-sperm. Unlucky, right? No. Just stupid.
Go and get yourself protected. I would recommend an IUD, as they have the highest preventative percentage. But condoms combined with the pill should also be fine.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013): when my daughter went off to college I just simyly told her that she needed to start using b.c. pills, and that would help keep ypur complection looking good and regulate your menstrual cycle. but if she started having some side effects from then she could get fitted with a femcap like I use for birth control.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (16 September 2013):
 You need to take them. Why wouldn't you? You're mom is absolutely right. You're lucky to have a mom who is wanting you to be safe and offering you the pills. A lot of parents flip out about these things. take them. You don't need an unexpected pregnancy on your hands.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 September 2013):
 Here's one out of left field. What if you mom sees your boyfriend as a poor DNA mix for her future grandchild. For example; Let's say for instance that he has a big nose and she doesn't want and grandson with a big nose? I may be way out of line but that was one explanation that came to mind. Or, maybe she just wanted to know if you were having sex with him and was too afraid to ask so she would just use reverse psycology and assume you were and wait for your response. You are lucky to have a mom that gives a damn. Good luck
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 September 2013):
 I'd be curious to know what you mean by " we are very safe ". If you mean he pulls out every time, noooo, that's the unsafest thing ever. If you are using condoms ,well, that's better condoms are pretty safe, yet occasionally they split, slide off or leak and it ends up in pregnancy:
At your age, you really want to be as safe as humanly possible, so please listen to your mom, and don't play Russian roulette with reproduction.
I am not an emotional type , not one to ever cry at the movies etc.- yet sometime I find my eyes wet watching stuff like "Teen Mom " , " Sixteen and pregnant " etc. It's SOOO hard, being sixteen and a single mom dealing with a baby and school and all the responibilities , and maybe having to cram in a job too to make money ( babies are expensive ) and / or battling post natal depression WHILE tryng to keep some remnants of a normal teen life, friends, outings etc.
You've got a cool mom who would not freak out knowing that you are having sex, and ... probably she would pay for your pills too. So why in the world wouldn't you do as she says ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2013):
 You give absolutely NO good reason why NOT to take them.
I'm guessing you don't think getting pregnant is so bad.
Listen to your mom. She is the voice of experience and common sense.
Or not, do as you please and be another teen-mom statistic.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 So, let's review. You've been dating a boy long enough to have sex with him and yet your mother just met him? So you've been hiding him from her.
You're having sex without condoms? Is he withdrawing before ejaculating, is that your idea of being 'safe'?
You think you are old enough to be have sex but choose to lie to your mother, have hidden your boyfriend from her and aren't really being 'safe.' You are acting exactly like an impulsive teenager with more hormones than sense. Sorry. I know it's all exciting and fun but it won't be when you are dealing with an unwanted pregnancy or an STI.
Go to the doctor and have an HONEST conversation with her or him about what you are doing and what you need to do to keep yourself healthy and not get pregnant so young.
Time to act like a grown up.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 You say you are sexually active and very, very safe, so what contraception are you using?
The pill, if used properly, will protect against pregnancy but not sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms will protect against both but are not the most reliable being only 98% effective when used correctly.
If you are not using anything except withdrawal, also known as the rhythm method, let me tell you (as a trained midwife) this is completely unsafe. I have lost count of the number of babies I've delivered from mothers who have relied on this method.
Also given your age, just to clear up some old wives tales, you can get pregnant the first time you have sex, you can get pregnant if you have sex whilst on a period and you can get pregnant without penetration if any semen should get anywhere near your genitalia! It takes one sperm to get you pregnant and a guy ejaculates millions of them.
Top marks to your Mum for caring about you, and being sensible and open minded enough to see the dangers you may be facing and treating you like an adult.
Sadly your response to her was one of a child, lying about the fact that you and your b/f are sexually active and ignoring her concern.
If you can't be grown up enough to be honest with your, quite frankly amazing Mum, and take proper responsibility for your sexual health and proper precautions against unwanted pregnancy then are you really mature enough to handle a sexual relationship.
Sorry to be harsh but I really do know what I'm talking about.
ABx
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 Get on birth control pills, or you're stupid. Just because you haven't gotten pregnant yet doesn't mean you wont be. And what's worse? Having to take a pill, or having a baby at 16?
Snap out of the gullible illusion, sex leads to pregnancy, you're old enough to know this. I don't know how you think you're being "very careful", but I can tell you this: If he puts his penis inside of you then you are risking pregnancy. No matter what time you do it, what positions, whether he ejaculates or not, whether it's on your period or not, or whether you said a magic spell before you got to it. You will get pregnant sooner or later.
Besides, a boy at your age will tell any lie he can to have sex with you. He will lie through his teeth and tell you all the "ways to be safe" and have sex that are just lies. Such as "you can't get pregnant if it's your first time" or "you can't get pregnant if I don't ejaculate in you" or "you can't get pregnant if you jump up and down afterwards". You CAN get pregnant EVERY TIME you have unprotected sex. Do you understand? Every single time you have unprotected sex you are risking pregnancy.
So get on the pill, or use condoms. That is the ONLY way to be safe. Whatever else you are doing is playing Russian roulette and NOT being safe. You'll be a teenage mother very soon unless you wise up.
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female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (15 September 2013):
 I think you should listen to your mum :)
It's much better to have a "back-up" option JUST in case. For example, the condom could split. No contraceptive is 100% effective (as "fi_the_tree" said).
I have personally been on the pill (microgynon) and had no problems with it. However, I then decided to go on the implant as I missed a pill and had a pregnancy scare and that was enough for me!! In March this year I then had it removed and had a new one in. Different brand but same deal. This was a lot easier and less painful. I was worried but I went to a different person and was much nicer.
Just have a chat with your GP and see how you get on.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 September 2013):
How about I answer your question with a question: Why WOULDN'T you want to take it?
FYI, if you got pregnant it would affect your mother's life almost as much as your own. So, in my opinion, she does deserve some say in the matter.
Condoms are 99% effective if used properly. That means one out of every 100 times people use them (and I presume come inside) they fail and the woman gets pregnant. I've broken a number in my life without even realizing it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): I was your age when I started taking birth control pills. My mother didn't find out until I was 19. My mom was upset about it due to not being as open minded as your mom. I think she is looking out for your best interest. She is aware that your sexually active even thought you're lying to her.
I will tell you this much, it was the best decision I have ever made! I'm 37 still No children, college education and very well traveled. I couldn't have done all of this with a child. It's your decision, but a disease can kill and a child is for life. Choose wisely. Best of luck to you.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (15 September 2013):
 You say you are sexually active but very very safe. I hope this means you're using condoms every single time? It only takes one time of not being safe to expose yourself to STDs (I'm particularly worried about HIV in your case) and pregnancy.
I agree with your mum on this. She's not stupid. She knows what's going on and she's right that you can never predict a boy (!).
OP, you should be able to find an oral contraceptive pill that suits you. Why are you against it? It gives you peace of mind in case a condom splits (because you ARE using condoms too, yes?).
Let your mum help you with this!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 September 2013):
 I think your mother is VERY wise. I think that if you do not have a bad reaction that birth control pills or an implant are the best idea for sexually active women and girls for whom a pregnancy would be problematic.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): Going by your age 16-17.. You should take all precautions you can! Condoms and the pill. You don't want to be a young mom ( there's nothing wrong with young mothers) your almost at the end of your schooling and have a while life to live. If you are grown up enough to make the descion to have sex you should be on the pill. Also, just because you are in the pill and nirth control does not mean that you won't get pregnant.
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 September 2013):
 I think you should be taking a secondary form of contraception. No contraception can guarantee a 100% success rate, so it might be a good idea to have a back up. Plus it will put your mothers mind at rest until you are ready to tell her that you are sexually active.
Make sure you get a doctors advice as some pills can affect periods and can cause other health problems. Look into other forms of contraception too.
Good luck!
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (15 September 2013):
 Assuming you're using condoms, then you shouldn't need birth control pills as well. if you're using them, tell your mum you're using condoms and that you're having safe sex. She can't physically force you to take anything :) I personally use condoms, and am a bit apprehensive to use pills as i'm worried i'd forget to take them, or they'll make me gain weight or have a reaction. If though you're not using any form of protection though; start now or else even if nothings happened yet, it most probably will in time.
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