A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering if there is ever an instance when abuse and fear of your significant other is justified.My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him even though he knows it's not true. He bases this on my ex still contacting me(my ex loves in another country) but I am in love with my boyfriend.I haven't seen my ex in years and we we didn't speak online until recently as we share a same hobby, but please note I love my boyfriend deeply and I moved in with him to build a family.My boyfriend became very aggressive with me, even when I cried to be let go. He kept thinking I cheated on him...but I never did...he knows there is no way I could have. I have offered proof but he never believes me.I left the home we shared because he scared me that much and we are broken up, I really do love him though, but no matter what I do he keeps thinking I cheated.My boyfriend says its my fault for talking to my ex...I am wondering what do you guys think? Was he justified on his treatment of me? Am I some big whore? I've never touched or thought about anyone but him :(
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (16 September 2013):
 The answer to your question is HELL no. It's never ever ever ever justified to lay your hands on someone. Even if you did go out and f*ck your ex, that's NEVER an excuse to inflict harm on another person.
For him to say that it was justified and your fault has did it means that you should absolutely run for the hills. And I mean haul ass.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): Even through that loving attachment you have for him, that warning sign that made you leave STILL got through to you... Scared you enough to leave?? Your senses are telling you something's wrong with this behaviour- with this guy. It's very unjustified and unstable behaviour and I would be very scared l angry and upset...
Apart from the aggression if he knows you didn't cheat on him, it's crazy paranoid behaviour... really please don't go back, you've had a lucky escape n he needs to sort himself put.
Good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 September 2013):
 NOT justified and being afraid is NEVER right
you left... stay gone... this is not a good sign.
I live with an abusive husband (when he drinks he can be abusive) this is no way for a young woman with her whole life ahead of her to live.
Anger and abusive over his insecurity and lack of self-esteem is NEVER justified.
HE was totally wrong.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 I think your B/F revealed a side of himself that is - by itself - sufficient reason for you to get away, and stay away, from him......
Regardless of what triggered his behaviour.... there is no justification for what he did.... Leave now...
Good luck......
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 He is an abusive man. You may come to realize that if you do the wise thing and go here http://www.thehotline.org and get some help.
He was NOT justified in his treatment of you.
Best wishes.
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