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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: A whole lot of lying seems to be going on. Again, assuming this is a 19 year old trembling shy introverted girl who has cheated on her boyfriend for 10 months, describing his lame sex acts to an online boyfriend she has never met in real life. She ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: So you've lied to your brother. Nice.... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: Ah, so your older brother is aware of katie and the situation? If not, then it's time to clue him in.
You really are avoiding the pertinent questions, aren't you? ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: Okay, do let us know how it all plays out.
Any reason you need to wait a few months? Why not go ahead and buy a ticket now? I've heard the best time to buy is Tuesday evening or Wednesday because that's when the ticket prices drop.
As she doesn't ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: So you already know that people will tell you she's a fake? Interesting.
She says her boyfriend is lame in bed… are you prepared for her to go online and review your first sexual experience? Because her link to the world appears to be gaming and ... (read in full...)
How late is too late to start dating in the modern world?
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never been on a date before, never had sex, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due to many combi...
A. 30 September 2013: The right day to enter the dating game is the day you have decided you want to start dating.
Perhaps then tomorrow will be your starting day?
... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a fwb to turn into love and if so how?
Q. seeing my guy 1 yr now. He says he there will never be anything between us. yet one time after sex (he sometimes thinks out loud) he said emotions cannot get into this. He gets closer i think and then pulls away spacing out visits i think to ...
A. 30 September 2013: "He says there will never be anything between us."
Sadly, he is not your guy.
As Eyeswideopen suggests, pick up that ball, go home and start anew tomorrow.
Being focused on this guy is keeping you from finding someone who wants the same things ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: And presumably you've told her that you were planning to come visit her in order to lose your unwanted virgin status? And she's onboard with that, since you two are so close?... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: And you've introduced her to your family?... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't think I should take my expensive purse on vacation with us! How do I address this?
Q. I recently purchased a $400-valued Coach handbag and I carry it everywhere with me. My family and I are visiting relatives in east Asia this winter, and my mom is concerned that my handbag will attract unwanted attention and thieves. While I ...
A. 30 September 2013: You won't be able to soothe your mom's concerns. Presumably you've given her your arguments as you presented them here. So she is aware of your take on it. She has her own take on it.
Is she hysterical about things a lot? Is she controlling? Is she ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: Oh dear, you have it bad.
The big penis thing, I have to agree with ChiGirl, while I'm sure it's a perfectly fine penis, women just aren't wired to be visual as men are. If we were, Playgirl magazine would have flown off the shelves. As it is, I th... (read in full...)
Where do I stand with this guy?
Q. Hi all I am going to try and cut to the chase here, I am confused about where I stand with this guy I met. Initially, the guy who I shall name L, approached me 1st in a bar when me and my friend were sat alone in the corner. My friend who is as in...
A. 30 September 2013: I think he thinks the word "casual" is code for FWB. Do you want that? If yes, then carry on. If not, then the best course of action is to sail past him.
I don't see why you are confused. If a man wants to date a woman, he'll make it happen. If he's... (read in full...)
Need some advice regarding healthy food options to help with weight loss.
Q. Hi there, I wrote up last week about wanting to loose a stone quickly. Thanks for your advice I totally get where your all coming from. I just wondered if you could give me some advice on a controlled diet as, as usual people say eat salads but I ...
A. 30 September 2013: I'd start by logging all you eat and actually count the calories you are ingesting. I used a free app called Lose It! This app is easy to use and you can set goals and log workouts as well. It can be very eye-opening to see how many calories you can ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: She's a great girl, whom you've never met in person, just that little teensy weensy problem of cheating on the current boyfriend.
She's unusually attractive, with a great personality and is honest and trustworthy. Other than the cheating on her boyf... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: So if she couldn't resist you, why not use those same moves on someone closer in real life who doesn't have a girlfriend? You've had some practice, now go use it.
What do your friends think about her? The online gaming ones and the real life ones... (read in full...)
Together for over 5 years and yet we hardly see each other. Is moving in together the best way to improve the relationship?
Q. Should I move in with my boyfriend even though we hardly see each other? We have been together for over 5 years, but due to his work schedule and social commitments, we see each other once a week at the most. I don't feel we are 'serious' enough to ...
A. 30 September 2013: Nah, I'd let this one go. His priorities are pretty clear and they aren't likely to change.
Unless he's a musician on tour and you now get to go on the bus with him?
Did his cleaning lady quit recently?
It doesn't sound like promising st... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: Oh, and just a few more questions. If she was your girlfriend, would you be happy she's having webcam sex with and accepting gift cards from a guy she met playing on line games?
How much were these lovely amazon gift cards?
I'm sorry, you are ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: I smell scammer. Sorry! Good luck.... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: I don't even know where to begin.
She's a "very nice, sweet, caring, shy type of girl" who is happy to have webcam sex with a guy who she's never met in person and is not her boyfriend.
She's "unusually attractive" with the best possible personal... (read in full...)
Will it cause problems with my fellow lifeguards if I ask him out?
Q. I work as a life guard in a indoor pool and I'm very attracted to one guy who started swimming there. He is tall dark and handsome and very sociable. There is one issue though, whenever I talk to him I find myself glancing down at his body and ...
A. 29 September 2013: A guy who wears Speedos isn't going to be too bothered by people checking him out. He wears Speedos because he likes wearing them, either they are comfy or help him swim faster or get him that extra bit of attention.
We can't say if the other life... (read in full...)
My Uncle's solution has upset me. What can I do? He wants to disappear as payback for his wife's adultery.
Q. Dear Aunts i now find myself asking you for your advice on this family issue. My uncle and aunt have played a critical role in my up bringing for the first fifteen years of my life. My uncle confided in me that his wife my aunt confessed to him t...
A. 29 September 2013: I just saw your follow up. This is getting weirder and weirder. Presumably the police know about him vanishing now? Make sure they have the pertinent information and then, let them handle it.
If love is all that matters then please do remember that... (read in full...)
My Uncle's solution has upset me. What can I do? He wants to disappear as payback for his wife's adultery.
Q. Dear Aunts i now find myself asking you for your advice on this family issue. My uncle and aunt have played a critical role in my up bringing for the first fifteen years of my life. My uncle confided in me that his wife my aunt confessed to him t...
A. 29 September 2013: I'm a little confused by the timeline. Your uncle found out 2 years ago that his wife was having affairs but only got all tense and upset about it this weekend? Or did he just find out?
I'm sure your aunt appreciated being told off for being unfa... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 29 September 2013: I one other option for you if you can't talk about sex with your wife. Show her that there's tissue down there. Either make sure she sees your face with the little bits of tissue or as you remove them, "accidentally" leave them on her hand or on the ... (read in full...)
Why do men stop talking in mid sentence?
Q. What does it mean when a man stops talking in mid-sentence? A few times he has stopped talking in the middle of his sentence.. I do not know if he was trying not to hurt my feelings or he was trying to keep from speaking his true feelings...
A. 29 September 2013: Did you receive counseling after the rape? And did you report the rape to police?... (read in full...)
Sex buddies forever or could there be more? I've fallen for him!
Q. Okay... So here goes, I am current having sex ( we have done it once) with a guy.... We decided we were going to meet with each other around 14 months ago and thats how it was going to be... Since then we have texted like crazy (flirty messages and ...
A. 29 September 2013: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-much-should-i-dress-up-or-make.html Is this you?
I would end the sex part of the relationship for now then see if he has the gumption to ask you out properly and start a real relationship.
You've known hi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated, on top of that we are of different religions.
Q. I am 23 years old and am a doctor. I am in india. I am in love with my boyfriend for 5years our relationship has been fine except for a few ups and downs . During the first year of our college my bf was dating a classmate of ours they then stopped ...
A. 29 September 2013: "The porn made him cheat." Oh brother. So it's probably Facebook who is forcing him to chat with other girls?
I would set him free to facebook chat and watch porn while having sex with exes. You deserve better, don't you think? If you don't, then... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 29 September 2013: Wearing special knickers and putting on more mascara isn't going to keep him as a permanent FWB or transition him to boyfriend status.
He's already your FWB so he considers you attractive enough to bed. Garters and more eye shadow do not change your... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 29 September 2013: Being told she has a little bit of tissue on her vulva is going to kill her? Really? Is she that sensitive and that shy? How do you even manage oral if she's so freaked out about this type of stuff?
Just tell her, it's honestly not that big a deal... (read in full...)
My Uncle's solution has upset me. What can I do? He wants to disappear as payback for his wife's adultery.
Q. Dear Aunts i now find myself asking you for your advice on this family issue. My uncle and aunt have played a critical role in my up bringing for the first fifteen years of my life. My uncle confided in me that his wife my aunt confessed to him t...
A. 29 September 2013: He's going to "settle a score and then disappear"? That sounds like he's planning to do something drastic and I would alert the family to this, and I would sincerely consider contacting the individuals involved, or law enforcement friends.
Y... (read in full...)
What advice should I give my friend about dating/sex?
Q. Here goes nothing. I have a friend of my mine who is a girl that disclosed some stuff to me. We are close friends. Basically she "dated" this guy for about 3 weeks. I put in quotes because until the 3rd week - they really didn't go on full blown ...
A. 28 September 2013: I would just ask her followup questions so she can figure it out for herself.
"Does it make you uncomfortable that he doesn't want to label your relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend?' "Are you happy to be with a man who can't or won't show affe... (read in full...)
Why did my 30 years older than me coworker talk to me about his wife and kids?
Q. I don't understand why we had this conversation?what do you think the meaning was. through work i've come across a worker who now i am involved with for some work. first time saw him he shook my hand and when leaving patted my back. Thats fi...
A. 28 September 2013: Maybe you remind him of his daughters? He has fatherly feelings for you?
Men can become foolish in the presence of pretty girls.
Why do you need to know if you aren't planning to make a move on a married man who is more than twice your age? If ... (read in full...)
I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 27 September 2013: Okay, we get that you don't want to pay alimony. That doesn't change the fact that you were ordered by a court to do so. If you want to change the alimony agreement, go see your attorney and see if you can petition the court for the settlement to be ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 27 September 2013: OP, I went back and re-read some of your many posts on this topic. I found this quote very telling: "He has told me from day one that he is not leaving his wife." from this post: ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is letting me go, while keeping her blood results secret. What should I do?
Q. So, I'm 30 and my girlfriend is 23, we live in different far countries, we've had plans of her coming over to stay with me on December, and getting married around next February, we've even managed her a job over here, and everything was working out ...
A. 27 September 2013: Either she's a massive flake, or she has a brain tumor that is messing with her logic and rational self, but I think she's just doing a really bad job of breaking up with you. She's created a fairy tale, for whatever bizarre reason, so that she can ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become obsessed over his penis size and its ruining our sex lives!
Q. My partner has a real issue with the size of his penis to the point of obsession. I'm not innocent in this but I feel helpless as to how to sort it out, move on and heal our relationship if possible. We've been together 7 years and he's always ...
A. 27 September 2013: "And the reason I don't want to leave him is because I want to be there for him to help him through this, not just abandon him. I have committed myself to him after all. And because at lucid times he is the man I fell in love with and it's like ... (read in full...)
One minute he wants marriage, the next he gives me up?
Q. His feelings are so wishy washy One minute he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me then the next he says Im his bestfriend. Then he'll say that he wants to be committed and then get married and then next he says, I should be with s...
A. 27 September 2013: You're both in your late 20s? You have the relationship with him that he wants to have. If you're happy with it, great. If you are not, and it seems you are not if you are here asking people to interpret his weird behavior, then you need to decide ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is letting me go, while keeping her blood results secret. What should I do?
Q. So, I'm 30 and my girlfriend is 23, we live in different far countries, we've had plans of her coming over to stay with me on December, and getting married around next February, we've even managed her a job over here, and everything was working out ...
A. 27 September 2013: I think your long distance girlfriend has come up with a very dramatic way to end the relationship.
I would assume it's over and mourn the end of the relationship.
Do not send her money, this may be a love scam.
Sorry it's not working out ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 27 September 2013: The very best way to remain sane would be to dump the cheater and move on. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become obsessed over his penis size and its ruining our sex lives!
Q. My partner has a real issue with the size of his penis to the point of obsession. I'm not innocent in this but I feel helpless as to how to sort it out, move on and heal our relationship if possible. We've been together 7 years and he's always ...
A. 27 September 2013: Oh for heaven's sake, walk out. He has problem and it's not your fault. He may eventually come to figure out that his penis is fine but if he's casting blame on you then it seems to me to be a toxic relationship. The penis size issue is probably ... (read in full...)
A conversation about a friend led to resentment of my wife's different treatment of me and her ex lovers.
Q. aqwsasThe other night at supper I was telling my wife of 32 years about a young lady at work. This woman was telling a story about a friend of hers who worked three jobs and when he came home from work his wife turned their three kids over to him ...
A. 27 September 2013: Obviously you resent your wife for not giving you oral sex, but how you made the leap to her "enjoying" it with other men seems to be a bit of stretch. You've been married for 32 years and ONE conversation in which neither of you seems to be ... (read in full...)
How do I let him know I'm interested without embarrassing either of us?
Q. Hey I'm a 17 year old girl and I really like someone aged 25. I understand that we're at different points in our lives and I may be a bit young for him at the moment but we really connect and get each other really well. I feel he's hinting at ...
A. 26 September 2013: Tell him your parents like him… wait, do they know him? How do you know him? Is he a friend of a friend or a relative of a friend?
You know what? I'm certain he knows you have a crush on him. He's choosing not to do anything about it because he d... (read in full...)
Saw him twice in three months so I broke it off -- and he doesn't understand why?
Q. Hi, it's been 3 months now and I only met my bf twice. I understood that he has just been promoted from his job and needs a lot of travel. But then during his free time, he wouldn't at least meet me for an hour or two regardless of the fact that his ...
A. 26 September 2013: We have an old saying here: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." In this circumstance it applies as, he's got you (the bird in the hand) that he just sweet talks every now and again and if people ask, yes, he has a girlfriend. Being a ... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my friend but I'm afraid I'll freak her out!
Q. I have this close friend, I met her in college four years ago. She had a boyfriend...now she doesn't. I feel atracted to her and I really want to kiss her...but I'm scared of myself not of her rejection...she accepts me and she's very kind. This...
A. 26 September 2013: Does she know you are lesbian?
If yes, then maybe she likes to flirt with you to make herself feel wanted and attractive, not to make you feel wanted and attractive. Can you see the difference there? Maybe she's insecure and likes the know... (read in full...)
If I'm a lovely guy then why haven't I had one date?
Q. I've had replies from here before but nobody could suggest anything that worked so I'll try again. I'm 37 now and have never been in any kind of relationship in my entire life. No woman has ever been sexually attracted to me and I have never ev...
A. 26 September 2013: Let me ask this, have you been sexually attracted to a woman you've dated? I mean, really wanted her?
I have a friend who is a lovely kind man with a great job and I think he's had about one girlfriend in his life. He just isn't willing to make... (read in full...)
Am I attracted just because he's a nice guy?
Q. Need help decoding mixed signals. There is a guy I'm interested in, and I know he's interested in my too (at least to an extent). He bought tickets to fly out to visit me. I know him from a long time ago-but we were only acquaintances. ...
A. 26 September 2013: As you both have decided that neither can move to be with the other, it's all kind of a nice fantasy at this point. Maybe it's what you need to have in your life to transition from a bad marriage to the next love in your life. Having him in your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become obsessed over his penis size and its ruining our sex lives!
Q. My partner has a real issue with the size of his penis to the point of obsession. I'm not innocent in this but I feel helpless as to how to sort it out, move on and heal our relationship if possible. We've been together 7 years and he's always ...
A. 26 September 2013: Get him into therapy, perhaps a good sex therapist may be the best thing.
You can't fix this for him, it's all in his head. Sorry he's gone all obsessive about it, it's sad for him and for you.... (read in full...)
I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 24 September 2013: You have a court order to pay the alimony. If your circumstances have changed and your income has dropped, then you have to go back to court and get an adjustment to the alimony award.
Don't keep on paying late, this will wind up with your wage... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: Is this your previous post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-man-dumped-me-and-i-am-feeling.html ?
If not, have a read through that. It shows the extremes of emotion which seem to sound a bit like your situation.
I wouldn't trust this guy... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 20 June 2013: Can't you just tell her that she's leaving little bits behind? She is your wife, after all. Just smile when you mention it, so she knows you are just trying to find a happy solution.... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 30 May 2013: "Babe, I think it's time to get some new knickers. The ones you are wearing leave little bits of lint on your lovely private bits. I love giving you oral but find the little linty bits distracting."
That will give her the heads up (pun inte... (read in full...)
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