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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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My mother thinks I should use birth control but I disagree
Q. Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. ...
A. 16 September 2013: So, let's review. You've been dating a boy long enough to have sex with him and yet your mother just met him? So you've been hiding him from her.
You're having sex without condoms? Is he withdrawing before ejaculating, is that your idea of bein... (read in full...)
Is it normal after first time sex to hurt when you urinate?
Q. Last night I lost my virginity to my Boyfriend. I'm not in love but I felt ready and it felt right we didn't plan for it to happen, it just did. The thing is it didn't hurt as much and I didn't bleed and it lasted for an hour until he came. We then ...
A. 15 September 2013: If you were a virgin and had intercourse for nearly 3 hours you must be rubbed raw. Keep your vulva clean using gentle cleansers and see your doctor if your symptoms haven't improved in a few days.
And don't have intercourse again until your symp... (read in full...)
Serendipity after a summer camp. Not Quite!
Q. I met a guy at a church Summer Camp I volunteer at every year. He was coming from another state on a mission to help in the camp. We talked a lot during camp and when he left he gave me his phone number. We spoke a bit on Facebook but not too much...
A. 15 September 2013: Good riddance! You must feel so relieved to have him out of your life. There are many camps out there, no doubt, so good luck to you.... (read in full...)
Is it safe to assume he's infertile?
Q. My boyfriend had the snip nearly 3 years ago we have been together now for 6 months..he has said he is infertile but has admitted that he never went back for the test to confirm this..could he get me pregnant or is it safe to say I would have got ...
A. 13 September 2013: Why would you subject yourself to hormonal birth control when all he has to do is give a semen sample and have someone check it for sperm? That makes no sense!... (read in full...)
Happily married men: when did you know you wanted your wife to be your wife?
Q. Question for the happily married men out there : when did you know your wife was "the one?". Did she have to push you to take the next step - or did you ask her? (whether it be moving in, marriage, or baby) I brought up the "next step" (moving ...
A. 13 September 2013: You could freeze some eggs now so that you'll have some on hand if things take longer than you planned. Go to an infertility clinic and they can set you up.
Good luck with the complicated man!... (read in full...)
Straight guy with gay porn addiction!
Q. Straight guy with gay porn addiction. i seem to always want to fap off to hot pictures of guys. Usually its the jock type with the amazing bodies. I actually feel not much sexual attraction to them and the thought of gay sec doesn't really do much ...
A. 13 September 2013: Maybe it's just a result of too much porn use? http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual
Lay off watching for a few months and see what may have changed for you.... (read in full...)
Is it safe to assume he's infertile?
Q. My boyfriend had the snip nearly 3 years ago we have been together now for 6 months..he has said he is infertile but has admitted that he never went back for the test to confirm this..could he get me pregnant or is it safe to say I would have got ...
A. 12 September 2013: Don't assume. Unless you want to be called "Mum" he has to wear a condom until you start birth control, if you want to try hormonal birth control.
This is so very easy to check, why would he put you at risk?
Tell him to wear the little raincoat... (read in full...)
How can I stop the leaking after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now… Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especial...
A. 12 September 2013: Have him wear a condom, problem solved. Right, I know, not a popular solution.
This happens to every woman, you have to clean up after sex. You should urinate right after sex anyway, so let it drain from you then and rinse with clean water and wipe... (read in full...)
Should I pay?
Q. So I am Back into the dating scene after I took some time off from my last relationship to recover so I went to online dating to try to find someone since I have a busy schedule. I connected with this guy and he asked me to go out for a drink so 1st ...
A. 12 September 2013: I'm not getting a good feeling about this if you write he tries to 'lure' you back to his apartment. You haven't said much about how you two connected beyond that first comment so are you really all that compatible?
If he's not willing to open up o... (read in full...)
Body dysmorphic disorder
Q. So my problem is I am ugly....I have spent lots of money on therapy for BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder), but it just seems that a duck is a duck. I am ugly and that's that, but I feel like I'm gorgeous. So I'm a duck that thinks its a swan...any ...
A. 11 September 2013: You aren't Hoda Kotb, are you? Because those are her issues.
Good news is that you at least have hair, and teeth and a nose. I love this blog:
http://www.melissabxoxo.blogspot.com
I'd stick with the healthier viewpoint and continue with therapy... (read in full...)
Her dependency on me is holding me back and ruining our love.
Q. Fell in love with a woman who has a child. We dated for a years and while dating her, she was still somewhat dependent on the ex because of the child. She gets offered a job opportunity in another state and due to the state of her financial ...
A. 11 September 2013: The way this is worded suggests you didn't spend all that much time together in real life.
You dated for "a years", is that one year or more? How did you meet and how much time did you spend together, in real life, face to face. online doesn't coun... (read in full...)
He doesn't know if he wants children!
Q. Hi, I have been with boyfriend for 2 years, not smooth sailing, but learning to talk to eachother properly, and we had a reflective evening last night, we spoke rationally about whether the ups and downs are something that are incompatibilitie...
A. 11 September 2013: The follow up was this: "Before I move in with you, I do want to know that we have the same plans for the future. I'm nearing 30. I think I may want children. I would like to know if having children or not is a deal-breaker."
You're in your late... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gives her phone number out to other guys and texts them!
Q. My Girlfriend and I have been dating for about two months now. I dont talk to any other girls but she talks to other guys. what pissed me off to get mad at her and write this was she said something like "why wont this guy leave me alone, I dont want ...
A. 10 September 2013: Sorry your ex has a problem with honesty and alcohol. It's a deadly combination.
You may not ever understand her mind but don't assume all girls are like her. Good luck with your new friend. I just posted on your new question. Go slow, okay? You'... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend saw me with my new friend!
Q. I was in a relationship for a year and I recently broke up with her. Its been about two weeks and we only talked once. I broke up with her because she cheated on me. She blacked out and I guess from what she told me she made out with another guy ...
A. 10 September 2013: This is the girl who handed out her number to guys? I just got a followup answer from you on a post in February 2013.
I would just let it go. She has some problems, obviously, and I don't think anything you say or text will change her anger, misp... (read in full...)
Does this girl see me as a potential date?
Q. there is this girl ,a very pretty girl in our Workplace whom i chat always with . in our discussion she laughs at my slightest joke. in our workplace girls appreciate very much my sense of humour. i do joke around with them very well. this pretty ...
A. 10 September 2013: Have a nice time on your date! Why not just get to know her a bit better and see how things go? Let us know how it goes!... (read in full...)
He's become distant, why do you think that is in my case?
Q. Hi everyone. Ok so I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and recently he asked me to move in with him. I told him I wasn't sure because he spends most of his time with his friends and I don't want to move in to basically live myself (I've posted ...
A. 10 September 2013: I can see your frustration and your confusion over his reaction. I would have the same concerns. He does seem to want to spend more time with the guys than with you. And the really frustrating part is that he doesn't WANT to set aside special time ... (read in full...)
Why does this man act totally different to this girl when he is alone with her?
Q. There is this guy and girl who have known each other for years. It seems like he embarrasses her with questions when others are there, and drawing undue attention to her. But when with her alone, he barely speaks to her. It seems he has 'stolen' her ...
A. 10 September 2013: It sounds all very peculiar. As he is not her employer then she might simply avoid any activity that involves going to his home.
Maybe he heard something negative about your relative and is reacting in kind?
Again, I would just keep away from thi... (read in full...)
I thought I was bi, but could I be a lesbian?
Q. Ever since a young age I have always believed that I was bisexual but after having my first few sexual encounters with men, the tables were completely turned. I felt absolutely nothing, I wasn't turned on in the slighted way. I was even imagining in ...
A. 10 September 2013: Hi Chels, is there some urgent need to apply a label?
Why not simply be with the person you want to be with and work it out from there?... (read in full...)
Body dysmorphic disorder
Q. So my problem is I am ugly....I have spent lots of money on therapy for BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder), but it just seems that a duck is a duck. I am ugly and that's that, but I feel like I'm gorgeous. So I'm a duck that thinks its a swan...any ...
A. 10 September 2013: You think you are ugly and you think you are a swan…. Choose the healthier point of view and go from there.
As others have asked, how is this affecting your life?... (read in full...)
I feel sort of pressured into having sex. Should I do it?
Q. So, I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now, and we've arranged to have sex, but I'm not too sure we should just yet since I am still a virgin, I've told him that I don't think I'm ready and he's fine with that, but I sorta feel pressured ...
A. 9 September 2013: You've "arranged" to have sex? How utterly unromantic. Was it his idea to "arrange" the first-time sex?
If you aren't completely certain that you are ready then don't go ahead with it.
"Unarrange" it. Just be honest with him. If he leaves you beca... (read in full...)
OCD with temper issues...is this a relationship worth saving?
Q. im in a new relationship with someone who has a past of abuse from an ex, she also has ocd quite bad with a short temper but refuses to get help as she says shes okay. shes now asked me to come off a social network site that i only use to contact ...
A. 9 September 2013: If her attitude is "accept me the way I am" and you can't do that, because you don't feel safe or accepted yourself, um, where does that leave you and your needs?... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable meeting my boyfriend's family because I'm bisexual
Q. I have always known I was bisexual since my early teens, and I have had two relationship with women. My parent's and I fell out due to this, so I haven't spoken to them in five year's. I'm currently seeing a really nice guy who I'm falling ...
A. 9 September 2013: You're judging his family without ever having met them. You lied to your boyfriend instead of discussing the real issue.
Why are you making him jump through hoops to get to the concern you have about his family members being homophobic? Do you have... (read in full...)
OCD with temper issues...is this a relationship worth saving?
Q. im in a new relationship with someone who has a past of abuse from an ex, she also has ocd quite bad with a short temper but refuses to get help as she says shes okay. shes now asked me to come off a social network site that i only use to contact ...
A. 9 September 2013: You have a son?
I think it might be best to let her deal with her issues and keep your son safe. If she has a "short temper" does this mean she becomes violent?
She has OCD which she chooses not to have treated. She has a "short temper" which so... (read in full...)
My baby's dad threatened to make me miscarry, yet now his family wants to see my 5-year old son!
Q. Hi i have a son who is nearly 5 his dad never wanted him and has paid nothing towards him now his family are hassling me asking to see him he was awful with me and i had to get police onto him as he was threatening to make me miscarry do they have ...
A. 9 September 2013: I would start here: http://www.womensaid.org.uk to get some legal help for you. I doubt his relatives have any legal standing but they are subject to the UK's laws on harassing and stalking, so you could pursue that with the local representative you ... (read in full...)
Is the problem that I masturbate too much? Should I tell her?
Q. Ok so I've have had sex with about 4 girls in my life and I'm 26 year old mail. The problem is none of them have ever got me to come and I'm not exactly sure why I can't! I can get myself to come easily. I can't come for my current girlfriend and it ...
A. 9 September 2013: Have you ever talked to a doctor about this? It seems like that's a pretty big deal, and you even say you are addicted to masturbating.
I think you may be in that sad cohort of men with too much access to porn…. check it out. http... (read in full...)
Asexual or not, either way help!
Q. I am about to turn eighteen and have been questioning my sexuality for awhile now. I have had only 3 relationships in my life, one i am currently engaged in, and the previous two have ended because i showed no intent on a sexual relationship with ...
A. 9 September 2013: My amateur opinion is that if you masturbate you aren't asexual. You have a sexual desire, so you masturbate.
You are only 18 and have had 3 significant relationships already?
Did any of these relationships include unwanted sexual contact?... (read in full...)
Why does this man act totally different to this girl when he is alone with her?
Q. There is this guy and girl who have known each other for years. It seems like he embarrasses her with questions when others are there, and drawing undue attention to her. But when with her alone, he barely speaks to her. It seems he has 'stolen' her ...
A. 9 September 2013: "Why would he talk freely and be more questioning towards a girl when his wife or others are around, BUT act a totally different way when he is working with her and no one else is around?"
Potential answers:
-she's a hired employee (she caters f... (read in full...)
Am I going to lose my husband to his female business partner?
Q. I think my husband is in love with his female friend of 2 years. I think I should be worried. I check the phone bill and her number is almost the only one on it that he calls and he calls often. They talk for hours every day. This is strange becau...
A. 9 September 2013: Well then you have something to discuss, either with the marriage counselor or your really great divorce attorney.
You need some help in communicating with him, obviously. So your choice is which option will be the most useful to you.
If you have... (read in full...)
My EX from 2 weeks ago is already ENGAGED to her PREVIOUS EX!!! Help!!!
Q. So I figured I would get an outsiders, unbiased perspective on this situation. My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We broke it off very well; maturely, trying to stay friends, and kept it very civil. We were dating for about a year...
A. 9 September 2013: I would say, isn't it a good thing that you aren't in the same city as her any longer, count your blessings and make your new home yours.
You are succumbing to a very natural and typical reaction to a big move: you keep on looking to your past... (read in full...)
How do I know if she wants to hang out every weekend?
Q. My girlfriend and I started dating at the beginning of the summer. At that point we were hanging out as often as we could because between our schedules we were only free every couple weeks. Now that school has started again I see her everyday. So ...
A. 9 September 2013: When you say "intimate" or "as close" do you mean you get to be really physically close?
There's an aunt here who uses this phrase: stop rowing the relationship boat and see what happens.
I like that idea.
Give her the heads up that you are chan... (read in full...)
He's 14 years younger than me, is it possible that he might like me?
Q. I need your advice! I am a 46 year old single woman and work with a 33 year old guy. He is nice and kind and helpful and flirtatious towards me. He is always ready to help. Although I am 46 but I look less ( I guess) specially my body looks very in ...
A. 9 September 2013: Oh sorry, one last thing. If he's 33 years old, he's not a teenager, presumably he's fully mature adult man with no baggage. If he wants to ask you out, based on your post, all you need to do is give him the little "go-ahead" signal. I expect he ... (read in full...)
If he really loved me wouldn't he talk about making changes in our lives?
Q. Dear Cupid, Looking for a man perspective. I've been in an exclusive relationship for 3 years, we are both middle-aged. We've broken up several times, because I'm frustrated in not seeing any progress and he is unwilling to talk about where rela...
A. 8 September 2013: He's happy with the status quo and is able to convince you to go back to it.
If you want marriage and a joint household, this is not your man. Sorry.
Your last question could be flipped to ask this: "If she really loved me why does she insist o... (read in full...)
Virginity and losing it..how do you know when you are ready?
Q. I'm 19 and a 2nd year varsity student... I've been in a relationship with this guy for over 2 years now... He loves me and treats me like a queen. We are both virgins and we are considering having sex. I would just like some sort of guidance as 2 ...
A. 8 September 2013: You are 19 and legally an adult and presumably can make your own medical decisions. Your parents probably don't even have access to your medical information without your consent at this point. ... (read in full...)
He's 14 years younger than me, is it possible that he might like me?
Q. I need your advice! I am a 46 year old single woman and work with a 33 year old guy. He is nice and kind and helpful and flirtatious towards me. He is always ready to help. Although I am 46 but I look less ( I guess) specially my body looks very in ...
A. 8 September 2013: In other words, enjoy the feelings of being attracted to this co-worker but don't drive your career off the rails because you are feeling horny/lonely/in need of validation.
Decide what it is you want and then follow the path that leads you ther... (read in full...)
He's 14 years younger than me, is it possible that he might like me?
Q. I need your advice! I am a 46 year old single woman and work with a 33 year old guy. He is nice and kind and helpful and flirtatious towards me. He is always ready to help. Although I am 46 but I look less ( I guess) specially my body looks very in ...
A. 8 September 2013: What is the workplace?
Have you had any relationships in the past? With other colleagues? How long have you worked there? How long has he worked there?
Do you value your career or are you okay if things don't work out that it affects your car... (read in full...)
Can I trust a marriage counsellor to keep my confidentiality or will s/he tell my wife everything I say?
Q. My wife and I have been going through a rough patch lately. I think we need to see a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. I am not sure if the rules regarding confidentiality are different for each, but I am wondering if what I say will ultimately ...
A. 8 September 2013: What's the point of going to a marriage counselor if you aren't going to tell the truth to your wife? Are you going through a rough patch because you are cheating on her? Or vice versa?
Just contact a marriage counselor and ask what their poli... (read in full...)
Is the guy I like gay?
Q. I think the guy I like is gay. But I don't think he even knows it yet. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing wrong with gay people, but I have this habit it finding/falling for gay guys and I would rather that not be the case with this guy. I have ...
A. 8 September 2013: He knows you like him, right? Why not let him ask you out?
Time is your friend here. There are no deadlines, no one will be fired or let go or lose friends, so why not just wait 6 months and see what's what?... (read in full...)
Am I going to lose my husband to his female business partner?
Q. I think my husband is in love with his female friend of 2 years. I think I should be worried. I check the phone bill and her number is almost the only one on it that he calls and he calls often. They talk for hours every day. This is strange becau...
A. 8 September 2013: You sound a bit detached from this worry.
Should you be worried? Well, um, yes, it does sound like you have a valid concern.
"I want him to talk to me like he talks to her. I never had that with him."
You haven't even met her? So how do you k... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend doesn't like that I had lunch with male colleague and accepted chocolate from him. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Dear cupid, I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend of 4.5 months..at the place I work I have been friends with this guy..we have been given the same assignement so we work together! We go out for lunch together as a group but today everyone was bus...
A. 8 September 2013: So you have known him in person for how long? That wasn't made clear.
You were friends and then when it was time to move away for one of you, that's when the relationship started?
The interaction between you and the co-worker doesn't seem to indic... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 8 September 2013: That's good news, I really do hope it works out for you. Keep on communicating and talking and maybe this all will result in a stronger and healthier relationship. Best wishes.... (read in full...)
How long do you give someone after their break up before you ask them out?
Q. Hi, How soon would you say it is to inadvertadly hit on someone after they have broken up with their ex? I like someone who has come out of a long term relationship (no children or marriage) but I'm unsure how long to leave it before suggesti...
A. 8 September 2013: Isn't it all individual? I think the rule of thumb is one month of recovery time post-split per year of dating.
So at the 6 month mark they are recovering from a 6 year relationship then you are good to go….. and you see how ridiculous that soun... (read in full...)
Why does this man act totally different to this girl when he is alone with her?
Q. There is this guy and girl who have known each other for years. It seems like he embarrasses her with questions when others are there, and drawing undue attention to her. But when with her alone, he barely speaks to her. It seems he has 'stolen' her ...
A. 8 September 2013: Oh, and based again on the reading of the question, I think this girl should get as far away from this man as possible, and not accept any more invitations or offers of 'work' or catering or whatever. It all sounds very lopsided, based on the ... (read in full...)
Why does this man act totally different to this girl when he is alone with her?
Q. There is this guy and girl who have known each other for years. It seems like he embarrasses her with questions when others are there, and drawing undue attention to her. But when with her alone, he barely speaks to her. It seems he has 'stolen' her ...
A. 8 September 2013: Oh good! The OP has answered.
So, how is it that her friends have chosen him over her? That seems very odd to me. You know how we girls all stick together!
So he asks this girl "to help make food preparations for these shows." So maybe he's hir... (read in full...)
Does this girl see me as a potential date?
Q. there is this girl ,a very pretty girl in our Workplace whom i chat always with . in our discussion she laughs at my slightest joke. in our workplace girls appreciate very much my sense of humour. i do joke around with them very well. this pretty ...
A. 8 September 2013: Does she see you as a date?
Why not be a brave man and ask her out on a date? Then you'll know.
I expect she sees you being all flirty and joking with other women. How would she know you are a serious man?
You tell her she is your love yet you... (read in full...)
Why does this man act totally different to this girl when he is alone with her?
Q. There is this guy and girl who have known each other for years. It seems like he embarrasses her with questions when others are there, and drawing undue attention to her. But when with her alone, he barely speaks to her. It seems he has 'stolen' her ...
A. 8 September 2013: So a married man is splitting up best friends? "Girls"? If they were really good friends, a married man wouldn't be able to split them up.
The post suggests that the man is a pain in the ass:
-he embarrasses her in front of friends or others
... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 7 September 2013: You've found out years after the fact that your husband interacted in a sexual way just prior to your wedding, with a stripper. I can understand why you'd be upset.
The anon posters here who freak out when a woman DARES to omit the teensiest deta... (read in full...)
Serendipity after a summer camp. Not Quite!
Q. I met a guy at a church Summer Camp I volunteer at every year. He was coming from another state on a mission to help in the camp. We talked a lot during camp and when he left he gave me his phone number. We spoke a bit on Facebook but not too much...
A. 7 September 2013: I would write him off. He was pressuring you for pictures (it's called sextortion, by the way) and he's not interested in you as a girlfriend. He's just a horny guy using social media and girls he knows a little as masturbatory aids.
Just beca... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gives her phone number out to other guys and texts them!
Q. My Girlfriend and I have been dating for about two months now. I dont talk to any other girls but she talks to other guys. what pissed me off to get mad at her and write this was she said something like "why wont this guy leave me alone, I dont want ...
A. 28 February 2013: Some people put their phone information on social networking sites like facebook, and if their account isn't set to private settings, other people can see that information.
Is there some reason you can't calmly ask her about how these guys get her ... (read in full...)
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