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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear all,I am very inexperienced with women, although I do currently have a lovely girlfriend who I love and adore so very much. We've been intimate with touching each other, but I just had to ask how touch can be taken further? I massage my girlfriend's back, run my fingers through her hair, and stroke her legs, but how do I move up to touching more private areas such as her chest and her buttocks? Do I be polite and ask her first? Or do I just go ahead and do it? I'd definitely be interested to hear the views from both genders.I look forward to reading people's replies. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2013): I think it's great that you're moving slowly!
Just keep doing so :)
If you're moving your hands over her body, you can say, "Do you like this?", "How does this feel?" etc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2013): I think it is very good to be clear and and communicative in a relationship, but agree it might be weird and unsettling to come straight out and say 'can I touch your chest?' I would say let it progress naturally, maybe if you are cuddling/making out that could be a chance for more intimate touching. If does not respond, pull away or say 'I'm sorry, is this okay?' Go slow so that everyone is comfortable, and that there is no pressure.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (24 September 2013):
"May I please touch your butt?" just doesn't have a good ring to it. Assume that since you guys have been going out for so long and you're in your 30's that she's probably expecting it, unless she's stated she wants to wait for marriage.
Just get a feel for the situation. If she seems to be into the massage and comfortable, then try it out and see how she responds.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2013): Seriously? At your ages and the length of your relationship, I would just go for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2013): Original poster posting once again :-)
Tisha-1, thanks for the advice once again.
My girlfriend is 27 and I'm 31. I actually think I'm going to try to do what you suggested, as it really is such wonderful advice. As you and others have said, she'll let me know if she doesn't like a particular area of her body touched, but I do want her to know that she has a body that I appreciate and am very attracted to, so I'll try to let her know verbally as well as physically :-)
Thank you for the valuable advice.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 September 2013):
 Is she in the same age bracket?
I think it's honorable that you want to respect her boundaries and do things the right way.
I think as you are in your 30s and presumably she's an adult as well, you should just gently keep on getting physically closer to her.
You could ask her up front now, "Celia, I am very attracted to you and i would like to get closer to you, emotionally and physically. If anything I do makes you unhappy please let me know. Now, I'm going to put my loving hands on your lovely body and just enjoy." :)
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (23 September 2013):
Sometimes a gal just wants the guy to "take her". Be confident in what you are doing and it will all fall into place.
If you do something that she doesn't like she will tell you or her body language will. Just be aware of what she is "telling" you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2013): Hi,I'm the original poster.To answer your question Tisha-1, me and my girl have been together for 6 months. We have been kissing for quite some time now.Thank you all for the advice.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 September 2013):
I think you just keep on touching her in the way you describe, getting closer to the 'private areas' until she can't stand it any more and puts your hands where she wants them.
Use very light strokes on the sides of her back and on her lower back and see what happens.
How long have you two been together? Are you kissing each other?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 September 2013):
 Verbal confirmation is nice however, sometimes just her reactions to your actions can answer the question. Say, you're moving your hand up her thigh and she turns away slightly..that's NO! otherwise she would spread her thighs and maybe even moan softly...That's YES!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2013): It depends on your girlfriend actually. You know her better than we do. Some girls prefer to be asked some girls just rather take the chance.
Give subtle hits by slowly moving to those areas, if she stops you, you know she doesn't want it, if she lets you...ay!
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