A
female
age
26-29,
*shtucky
writes:Dear Cupid,I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years now and the love is seriously dying out. We have a few past personal issues but that isn't what's pushing us apart. Recently, about 3 or so months ago, he got evicted from his house because of his immature, schizophrenic mother and had no where else to go. My parents agreed to let him stay here for as long as he needed to get back up on his feet. He's always been a tough person to sway at all. He's really set in his views and once he's got his idea on something, he'll keep it. We clash a lot with our personalities but at the end of the day, I love him so much and he loves me. However, lately we just haven't really been getting along. Well at least I have with him but he seems completely non-affectionate these days. I understand it may be a symptom of us living together but this is raising some serious alarm bells!If we can't remain affectionate and work as a good partnership whilst we're temporarily living together, what does that mean for the future? Am I always going to feel unappreciated and unloved? I know how dull and desperate this sounds but I'm on my last straw. I can't take any more of his irrational issues. He's a lovely guy but he's not giving me anything that is passed the friendship barrier lately. We've been through too much to not remain friends, but I'm worried if I break up with him he'll be on the streets homeless. I can't do that to him. But I don't know what to do? I know I deserve better, he's told me that himself, over past issues where he's treated me very badly, but I know him very well and when I think about getting back in the dating game it sounds exhausting. Should I just settle? Put up with it? I've tried talking to him about it but it's an ongoing problem and he just shrugs it off. I need affection and physical love. I can't stand not having it.. and if he isn't giving me that then we're just friends right? Please help!- A
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 I would get him out of your parents' house as soon as possible. What is he doing to get his own place?
Where are his friends? Where are the rest of his family?
Alternatively, if he lacks the funds to move, maybe you should move out for the time being, move in with another friend until he's back on his feet.
He should be paying some sort of rent to your parents; if he can't do that, then he should be contributing to the care of the house in some way.
When you say 'he's really set in his views,' I hear, 'he's a guy who doesn't listen to any other point of view and lacks empathy.'
He has 'irrational issues'? Does he agree with you? Is he taking steps to deal with them?
Everything you've written about him makes him out to be someone who refuses to accept that there may be valid and reasonable viewpoints that do not coincide with his.
Can you give an example of his being set in his ways?
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (5 July 2014):
 “If we can't remain affectionate and work as a good partnership whilst we're temporarily living together, what does that mean for the future?” (You’re a smart clever girl for thinking this!)
It will mean more of the same!
I believe when we go through the highs and lows in our life we get to see who and what the other person is made of in times of hardship, depression, stress etc. If you don’t like what you see now, and you’re being mistreated or neglected with lack of affection etc, the future will be no different when the next bout of stress appears :( Although some do change/learn from experience; knowing what not to do next time... wishfully thinking.
I don’t believe you have to render him homeless at this stage as you’ve volunteered your support to enable him to get back on his feet. But how long do you see him achieving this? Meanwhile, he doesn’t have to take your kindness for granted and stay forever in his mood and stubbornness. It serves no purpose to anyone – keep reminding him of this, but within reason, be patient.
Since it was your parents that agreed to let him stay for as long as he needed to get back up on his feet... That’s a bit fatal as you have to give a person a time line or they’ll set up roof, take you for granted and make your place their home. This will have to be reassessed and talked about.
Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 July 2014):
You're very young. In this day and age it would be very unusual if your high school sweetheart was the one you ended up spending the rest of your life with. Young people go through so many mental and emotional changes as they mature, growing apart is normal.
Some of my fondest memories are of my high school sweetheart. We are still great friends and have both found the love of our lives. Good luck.
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