A
female
age
30-35,
*irstyax
writes:Ok I don't know where to start if am honest in 21 years old and have a 2 month old baby. I've been with my husband 3 years and married for one. I am occasionally told from family I need to leave him as I'm getting abused. I have lost all my family. As he's threated my mum and fought with my brother and so on. Basically I have nobody. Apart from him and he uses this against me. Everytime he comes home from work he will just go in these moods and won't speak to me. I'll ask him what the problem is and he just says oh leave me alone I don't want to talk. He always goes out and. Blocks my number so I have no way of contacting him and comes home very late and when I ask him where he's been he will tell me it's not my business , I have caught him talking to girls asking to meet them sending pictures of his private parts. And when I ask him he tells me I have a problem and I need help am paranoid etc...and making me feel like am failing as a wife. I cry myself to sleep every night as I don't know why but I just can't leave him I used to be such a happy confident girl but he has drained the life out of me. tells me I should feel lucky as so many girls want him. He says nobody would want me as I have a baby and I'm married. I looked thro his phone once and he said keep doing it and I'll give u stuff to find. Meaning he will cheat on me all the time. He said very soon ur eyes will open we don't have long left together. It hurts me so bad. I just had his baby and he does nothing to help me I'm suppose to do everything my own daughter is not aloud to go to my mums house it's breaking her heart as my mum was there for me thro my pregancy and labour when he wasn't. I'm constantly being ignored and my opinion never matters or he just doesn't want to know. Please give me some advise. I'm so unhappy :( Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014): You are right to cry yourself to sleep at night, what you are dealing with is very wrong, sadly you are the only one who can save you now. Please don't stay there a second longer. It will not get any better. This is not your fault in any way. please take a look in the mirror, that happy young lady is still there. She is just waiting till it's safe to come out again
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (15 July 2014):
 Mental abuse is way worse than physical abuse because the marks left are invisable to the rest of the world,only the abused knows what they are and how deep they are..Leave the bastard! It's the ONLY way to save yourself. Make a plan that only you know about(Do Not Tell Anyone!) and follow it...a legal consult might help but it must be confidential.Good Luck1ommorow is the first day of the rest of your life.Best of Luck yng lady
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2014): These answers and so thoughtful actually brought a tear to my eye you's are right I need to get away.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 July 2014):
 Please give yourself and your child a big gift. Go to this website http://www.womensaid.org.uk and ask them for help.
I know it's difficult for women in your situation to reach out for help and get free of abuse but my dear, you have your entire life ahead of you. And your child has the need and the right to grow up without abuse....
Get out. You can and you will survive just fine without him!
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 July 2014):
There's absolutely no reason to stay with him. None. He is an abusive piece of crap and you're miserable. If you stay with him it will not only affect you, but your child as well.
You need to arrange shelter with your family then have people come over and help you move out. I'd even speak to a lawyer if you can afford one. If not just know that you have way more rights than he does, so don't let him manipulate you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2014): You need to leave him now, he is a nasty piece of work and why would you want to stay with him, does he think he is gods gift to women or something. You need to gather some strength and keave and keep telling yourself your worth more than that. He just wants you there to put down and abuse. Wouldnt you rather be alone than put up with all that crap, what exactly would you miss about him. He has lost you your self esteem by the things his does and says to you. He is a disgusting person, ask yourself what do u like about him, I bet theres not much and I bet you only stay with him because hes made you feel jealos of him being with another girl. Why dont you think to yourself what is there to get.jealous about, this guys a dirty player. Get rid you are worth more than this, who does he think he is, god.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2014): We can't give you advice because you don't listen to advice from your own family. Obviously they're still there for you, otherwise they'd stop bothering!You SERIOUSLY NEED to pack up you and baby when he's out, then move in with your family. Leave a note explaining:"Hubby, I'm not going to allow you to treat me this way any more. I want more for my daughter and myself. You have no control over me now. I will have a lawyer contact you soon."Call the police if he even shows up at your mum's. Then, the next day, you plan out what you're going to do:- police (alert them to what's going on, so they know it's possible he may do something)- legal aid to get SUPERVISED VISITS (he's potentially dangerous - keep any written/texted proof of his abuse)- CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy to help you physically and emotionally deal with this huge change and getting out of his grip!YOU CAN DO THIS! Rally up your family; they WILL help you escape!
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