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How do I accept that my appearance is ordinary?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2014) 21 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been recently watching porn videos (not masturbating just missing sex) and I'm surprised at how flawless some of the actors are. How can people look like that?

This was amateur and she didn't have a blemish on her! How can I accept that I haven't won the genetic lottery?

I'm pale and have stretch marks and spot scars on my bum cheeks. I have horrible stubbly hair on my legs, and blemish easily. My ex boyfriend didn't help either. He made it obvious he found me ordinary, I don't want to feel ordinary. So two questions,

How can I accept not winning the genetic lottery and being ordinary?

What would guys answering this question class as out of the ordinary?

View related questions: my ex, porn, stretch marks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2014):

This is the OP, I still have problems accepting the fact that I let this person touch me i do feel like he abused me, he was having sex with me (or at least trying) and then just completely dismissed any thought of what we did when I wasn't there.

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A female reader, YoungButNotNaive South Africa +, writes (21 June 2014):

YoungButNotNaive agony aunt"You HAVE been abused."

Exactly.

I know what I'm about to say is not going to sound "right", but if seeing him is too much of a reminder of the things he said, then you should no longer hang out at places you know he's going to be. Is there a different pub you can go to that isn't too far out of your way? If so, I recommend it.

I haven't seen my ex in 5 years, by choice. He was unpleasant to be around, to put it simply. The longer I went without seeing him, the better off I was. That's what you need to do with people like that, is cut them off completely. Even if you don't speak to him at all when you see him, apparently just seeing him alone is too much for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2014):

He was saying i was an ordinary person when talking about glamour modelling, still horrible though.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2014):

To reply to the OP's reply, the very fact that he would even say something like this to someone IS abusive and the fact that you can't see it is incredibly downright rude means he basically was successful in abusing you. As I said before, I am sure you are as attractive as the next person, nothing wrong with you and HE was.. clearly and sadly still is.. the problem.

If I had listened to my ex I would be going around now hating my hair, my breasts, my skin, my belly and my bottom and there is NOTHING wrong with me!!!!! You HAVE been abused.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (20 June 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntI see I responded on that other question too.

I keep repeating myself.

Therapy.

Therapy.

Therapy.

Therapy.

Therapy.

Therapy.

You need it if you are still running the same negative thoughts for years now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014):

Yeah that post is mine youngbutnotnaive but i still see the guy at the pub we go the pub quiz (separate seems) and the really bad thing was he wasn't being abusive he was being deadly serious!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014):

What sort of a boyfriend says this kind of crap to his partner? Let me tell you, an abusive one. I had this on and off over an on/off relationship of 4 years and let me tell you, he said some mean things about my body as well as other stuff and I started to believe it, despite considering myself to be more than ok and sure, maybe ordinary without make-up but I have lovely eyes and a strong body and well, we're all works in progress.

I bet you are actually really attractive and it's the voice of the idiot ex in your head which has screwed with your self-esteem. And that's exactly what your ex WANTED. To MAKE you feel bad about yourself.

There's great advice here, I've been in your shoes. What helped was appreciating what I DO have and enhancing that and no longer listening to the critical voice of my abusive ex in my head telling me my breasts aren't firm enough, my hair is too limp, I am fat, look old, have grey hairs.... good grief you should see HIM. He is seriously balding, has false teeth as he never took care of his own and he's not even 50 years old yet and he looks more like he's 60! Point is, if what has happened to you is anything like my situation (and so glad I finally managed to ditch him), you have probably been verbally abused and emotionally manipulated to feel bad about yourself. And this ex of mine thought he was God's gift to women.

Love yourself and start by looking in the mirror every day. And look online at articles about emotional abusers. Sounds like your relationship was pretty toxic. And don't have anything more to do with him.

And the great thing is when you start to really love yourself for exactly how you are, you start to "vibrate" on an entirely different frequency and you attract that same vibration of kind, loving and non-critical people.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 June 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt In this you are right, another man might find you out of the ordinary, and also be perfectly sincere.

Your ex's reply only means that HE did not see you as more than ordinary, and saying otherwise would have been a lie for HIM. But who is he ? , why does he get to be the only and ultimate arbiter of female beauty ? Why what he says counts more than what another average ( ordinary ) Joe could say ? Why if he says something about looks, is he necessarily right ? he can only talk for himself , based on his own tastes .

Anyway, you did not answer my question, why is being ordinary such a problem ?...

I checked the dictionary, and while one of the meanings in which this word is used is " inferior, below average, mediocre " , so I understand as being defined ordinary is not flattering, the more common acception is : customary, usual, normal.

Maybe 99% of people are customary usual NORMAL.

While I also understand that those were not the words of a man in love, because someone in love sees you through the eyes of his heart as better and more attractive than you actually are ,... and that you might have felt disappointed at the idea of JUST being normal, not special, in eyes of someone you loved, ...why is it a bad thing for you being normal ? what could you do, and have , more, that you can't have now ?

Do you think that normal / ordinary women do not get to be courted , loved, married, fucked senseless , shown affection / appreciation ? I do not even know where to start to confute that , because... it's just laughably untrue. It's just NOT what happens. The world is full of ordinary people who get friends, lovers , romance, husbands, kids, anything that normally ( or ordinarily ) people want.

Of course, if you were an extraordinary beauty with an extraordinary physique you could become a movie star ( but you'd also had to have talent ), or you could do porn movies ,or nude calendars. You'd get a lot of lusty stares, a lot of wanted AND unwanted male attention, maybe even your own personal stalkers.

Is this what you want in life ? Do you want make LOTS OF money through your nude pics ? ... In this case, yes it must be frustrating to not have the physique to make your dream come true, a bit like being a legless dancer.

But if you are doing / want to do something else,anything else but that ,do you really need to be outstanding ?

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A female reader, YoungButNotNaive South Africa +, writes (20 June 2014):

YoungButNotNaive agony aunt"I said to him others might not find me an ordinary person he said "would you rather they tell you a beautiful lie?"

Just because he thinks they would be lying doesn't mean they would. Often people make assumptions of what others would think based on their own opinions. Since HE finds you ordinary, he thinks other men would feel the same way. What he's forgetting is that not every man has the same taste in women.

I remember this quote "telling you a beautiful lie" from a question I answered last year. I went through my old answers and found the question it was written in. Did you post this?

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-some-people-not-have-stretch-marks.html

Look, I know how much words can hurt. But you aren't with him anymore, and from the date of your other post (if it's yours) you haven't been with him for quite some time now. Why do you still care what he thinks? You have to stop dwelling on this. Otherwise you are just causing yourself unnecessary stress.

My ex didn't appreciate me either, and that's why he's my ex. Now I'm married to a man who thinks I'm the most beautiful woman alive, and I don't believe for one second he's "telling me a beautiful lie". He TREATS me like I'm the most beautiful woman alive. Do I think I am? Certainly not. Does that mean no man could ever think so? Also certainly not. We are our own worst critics, after all.

Even the women you consider flawless have things about themselves they'd like to change. Wait...they already did.

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A female reader, HappyPlace United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2014):

HappyPlace agony auntYou have succumbed to the media portrayal of what women should look like and that is very sad. Instead of women celebrating their uniqueness and differences, they have been fed, probably all their lives, images that make them question that appearance and that makes me really cross. If you are a member of Facebook, then go to their campaign - No More Page 3 and read some of the write ups on there - fascinating. This was an extract taken from there - "When I argue against Page 3 I am quite sure I am not arguing against beauty. To ‘celebrate’ women by erasing what makes them unique and insisting they conform to an increasingly narrow ideal is to promote their object-ness, and as a woman myself I’ve always had the radical idea that I am human". You are not alone. Celebrate your uniqueness instead of letting the media (and some men) dictate what you THINK you should look like. Then campaign to get rid of these images in the media so that young girls can grow up and not feel that they don't match up to a created ideal.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014):

I said to him others might not find me an ordinary person he said "would you rather they tell you a beautiful lie?" :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014):

The first thing you need to accept is that your ex boyfriend is no longer a part of your life. Therefore what he said should not matter anymore. You don't have to care what he thinks, because you are no longer with him. You also need to realize his opinion won't be the opinion of every guy. What one guy finds "ordinary", another will find stunningly beautiful. Even women who are classified as being the most beautiful women in the world have guys who say they are no big deal.

I'm not at all what western society would call "beautiful". Yet I think I'm very attractive, and so does my husband. I tried posting a question recently, but it was put in the article section. I had to take quite a bit out so it would be posted at all, but here it is:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/there-is-only-one-you.html

It sounds cheesy, I know, but like I said I had to take quite a bit out.

By the way, just because the video you watched was labeled as "amateur" does NOT mean this is how the girl naturally looks. She could still be wearing a lot of makeup. I see a ton of women everyday at work who SEEM flawless. But when I see them up close, I can tell how much makeup they are wearing, regardless of how natural they tried to make it look. Yes, some women spend an hour or more every morning making themselves appear "natural". Sounds like a conundrum, doesn't it? Yet some guys are indeed fooled by it. Sounds like your ex was one of them. He probably believes women roll out of bed looking this way.

You don't want attention from guys like that anyway.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014):

The vast majority of the population is "ordinary." If it wasn't, beauty wouldn't sell; and everybody would be beautiful and perfect. Like on soap operas. Look how miserable they are being so bold and beautiful.

When we spend a lot of time comparing ourselves and dwelling on our "imperfections;" I guess they'll standout even more in our minds. The longer you focus on them; the bigger they get. Then it becomes an obsession. Hard to shake it when it goes that far. That requires professional help.

If all you can accept is what is beautiful, then I guess you're just as prejudiced as the people who set beauty-standards too high. Making it hard to be happy; just being ordinary, like almost everybody is.

Studying your imperfections becomes a habit and a full-time job. You are missing out on fun, and just being thankful for life. It didn't come packaged the way you wanted it, so it's not worth enjoying? Is that the deal? Never mind anything else on the planet, it's all about being pretty?

The media and beauty-industry feeds us poison non-stop everyday. People can't tell what's real from what's fake anymore. They try to look like a photoshopped image on a magazine. The original model doesn't even look like the final image!

You apparently don't know the tricks of the trade; when it comes to photography and videography. Lighting, angles, lenses, and technical-illusion. Make-up. Why do you think celebrities wouldn't be caught dead without their makeup and hair done? Because without all that illusion; they look just like the rest of us. Ordinary, as you put it.

I can talk a blue-streak; but you've been bitten by the fashion and porn media-bug. You can't see anything but your faults. So, I just hope someday; you'll just decide to not give a sh*t.

Just be happy for what nature gave you. Other folks are always going to seem prettier, smarter, richer, taller, stronger; and the list goes on and on and on. Somebody has got to be ordinary; so they'd be extraordinary. It's a lot of work making the other guy look hotter than me.

I have to lower myself to feeling insecure, inferior, out-shined, and insignificant. While he stands there in his glory. If it wasn't for me putting myself down, he wouldn't feel so good.

If you truly believe the false-images you see on screen; perhaps you should go to beauty-school, and learn all the techniques of hiding ordinary beauty behind what's fake. Trays of colorful chalk, brushes, pasty stuff, and pencils to draw eyebrows like a clown. What's the difference? Some clowns like the "smokey-eye" look. Eyebrows that arch so high, they almost touch his receding hairline. Multicolored eyelids! I've seen older ladies do the same thing. That's not beauty. They wouldn't leave home without it. They're convinced that's better than ordinary.

I don't like clowns. I'll write an article about it someday.

I'm not scared of them. They just annoy me.

I'm gay, and I tell drag-queens who "over-do it;" they're just one-step from circus clown. Tone it down! Women don't look like that; but I know a clown when I see one!

At the end of the day, being you is what's comfortable. Being appreciated for your realness sends the message that you are loved for who you are. However; there's this trick nature and life plays on us. We've got to love ourselves first; or life can be pretty damned miserable.

Some realities of life don't hit us, until we come of age.

When our minds grow-up and start realizing things that are real; and not over-influenced by lies in magazines and on TV. False-perception and deception. Being told all day, you've got to be hot! I was born this way. Take it or leave it.

Teaching people to hate themselves is easy. The sales and marketing industry has it down to a science. They have done such a good job, therapists are making a mint. There are still wonderful people in the mental-health field, who dedicate their lives to the challenge of undoing the damage so deeply inflicted on society by unrealistic images of beauty and eternal-youth. People will even pay other people; to carve them like turkeys; and pinch away little pieces of flesh. The end result is sometimes pretty odd. Even funny. I guess that's better than ordinary?

One thing I've finally learned in my life; is that loving myself is "self-taught." Liking what I see in the mirror is power. Not an image distorted and overblown through conceit or narcissism. My mind hasn't been bent by people who shove it down my throat, that I have to be handsome to be happy. Just the fact I know that I can always make some kind of improvement boosts my ego, lifts my confidence, and self-esteem. I like compliments like anybody else. Weeks or months may go by without a good dose of flattery. I go to the zoo, watch the turtles and hyenas; and thank God that's not me. Same about drag-queens!

I've worked from the inside out. Fixed my perceptions about me as opposed to others. I feel no better or no worse. Most are ordinary. I like beautiful people. They're just wonderful. Fabulous. Just stand on the other side of the room. You look better from over there. Don't snub me! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't know how good-looking you are.

Go snap a selfie and impress yourself.

Sometimes, you have to settle for who you are. That improves the quality of life. I stopped handing my happiness over to other people, and a make-believe industry that is hell-bent on making me see myself less than who I am. Just so they can sell me crap.

You'll grow out of it, or you'll be consumed by it. I can write long paragraphs trying to make you feel good. Sometimes, that's what some people feed-on. Sympathy and people laying it on thick.

I can't see you. I know you're not as bad as you think, or want to make us think. Sometimes when you just don't get enough compliments, it's nice to hear nice things said from people who care about how we feel. Not how we look.

I know you're a nice person. You didn't fill your post with nasty attacks on others, or spew a lot of poison. You just think ordinary isn't beautiful.

Girlfriend, most of the models I see on fashion pages show their ribs, have enough space between their thighs they look like the letter "H". Their starving gaunt faces stare out of bulgy eyes, peeping through painted-on skin color.

To cover the dismal gray flesh hidden beneath it. When you watch them walk down a run-way, you can almost hear their bones knocking together. Klickety-klack! You could play music on their ribs like a xylophone. Or the sound you get when you slap drumsticks together.

The other extreme is walking around like someone inflated your chest with a bicycle pump, or you're shoplifting a couple of soccer-balls under your sweater. Straight dudes tell women that's hot. I like looking at boobs. I just prefer when they're proportionate to the body they're poking out of. Okay, I like big boobs too. I'm gay, but I still stare down at boobs. My eyes are up here! Yeah, but your boobs are right there!

Large boobies looks a lot better on people born with them. Male or female. They usually have the rest of the beef and big bones it takes to hold them up. Skinny women with humongous boobs look like the letter "P." Or, the letter "B"! Big boobs simply look better on fuller curvier figures. I love bubble-butts. They don't look right if you have chicken-legs. Then you look like the letter "R"! So padding-up looks ridiculous; if you have skinny legs. I'd rather look ordinary. That means closer to the norm.

I have a nice butt. I was born with it. That's not my fault. Blame my parents. My legs match them. They hold up my bum pretty okay. I buy my jeans to compliment them.

I don't wear skinny jeans. I don't want to look like the letter "R." I wear slim-fit. They're more ordinary.

Need I go on about this crazy stuff? That's how crazy we are all becoming; because we don't want to look ordinary.

Even men are getting boob-jobs, calling them "pec" enhancements. They are getting fake calves, and killing themselves with steroids to look like the Michelin tire character. That takes a lot of work. Then it turns into fat as you get older; and can't work out as hard. The muscle all slides down to the top of your belt.

Did you know muscle starts to eat itself when you overwork them? I've seen guys at the gym get ugly pits in their arms and thighs. Trying too hard to look bigger and better than the other guy. They feel too ordinary. Well muscle-atrophy isn't ordinary. It's disfiguring and debilitating.

Love yourself, my dear. Don't waste your short-lived youth hating how you look; and wishing you were somebody else.

Improve what you can, and flaunt what you can't; like a super-model. If they can put a dress worth the Crown Jewels over a rack of bones; and call that beauty, being ordinary can't be that bad.

Train to be a beautician. On a busy day, you'll see how vain and insecure we've all become. You'll begin to see how superficial people really are, and how much they no longer realize that ordinary is comfortable, unique, and thrifty.

It's cool when you can do just "ordinary" things and look great. Fix your hair. Eat healthy and exercise. The easiest thing to do is just smile. People tend to smile back.

I might not have made you feel beautiful, but I hope I made you smile. A good laugh works wonders.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (19 June 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt Funny, beauty must really be in the eyes of the beholder after all. I am no expert since I have seen little porn in my life , but from that little, I reached the opposite conclusion : good thing that everybody is focused on watching right THERE, because generally these girls are no prize lookswise. And I am not talking about fake tans , heavy make up, or looking cheap, - they are not supposed to look classy or sophisticated. I am actually saying that if they had to wear a bikini and sunbathe in St. Tropez or Mykonos , they would not get a second look . You can find girls in any club in Rome, New York, London etc.etc. who are as attractive , just not as ready to show us their inner ( labia ) beauty.

Anyway, those are actresses, on a movie set. they have make up artists to take care of all their blemishes, they've got the right lights, the rights lenses .They got digital editing too. Do the apples on the cover of a glossy food magazine look like those in the apple cart at the street corner ? No- but in fact , they are the very same apples, just dolled up and photographed right.

You lnow... strange question is yours.

You have a problem with accepting to be " ordinary ", i.e. with not being out of the ordinary lookswise, with not standing out in a crowd, with not comparing to that tiny percentage of the population which does.

You are bitter about not having won the genetic lottery- are you also bitter about never having won the money lottery, the real one ?

Do you feel bad because you have a normal IQ but not Einstein's , a normal job but not president Obama's job, a normal income but not Bill Gates ' megabucks ?

Do you feel bad for never having won a Nobeò Prize, a Pulitzer, an Academy Award ?

WHY would you need to be super-extra-special to be happy ?

what's wrong with being ordinary = normal ?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (19 June 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntAll you got out of our answers was "body foundation"? Really?

Good luck, OP, seek out that CBT. Your filters are not doing you any favors.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2014):

Body foundation... That's interesting and makes me feel a whole lot better.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (19 June 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntI have pale skin, stretch marks, moles, some small dimply scars from chicken pox as a child, saggy boobs, some rosacea on my face, frizzy hair that turns into a giant mess without some products, I feel short around some of my friends, my legs have spider veins and I think the beginning of varicose veins, a bit of a belly that I'd like to get rid of, teeth that are moving with age and I could go on and on and on...

You know what? Who cares? I'm ALIVE, enjoying this fantastic world which isn't always a bed of roses. We are so fortunate! We get to experience this miracle every day.

I look pretty good on a good day, because I put some effort into taking care of myself. I work out, I eat well, I deal with the various little annoying things by either simply accepting that they are there or using safe products which can change things.

I think I am considered attractive by people who know me in real life, not because my exterior is a certain way, but because I am happy and healthy and enriching and just fun to be with.

Your ex isn't who makes you feel bad about yourself. YOU make yourself feel bad.

You are looking for all the negatives and fail to see the beauty all around you, your eyes aren't appreciating perfection of yourself just as you are because your filter is off.

Yes, your filter is off. You filter out the good and let in negative thinking.

Why?

I don't know why you do that.

But it can be dealt with, if you take a proactive approach. Go find out about CBT. I'm fairly certain you have posted before about porn, and the ex who made you feel bad, many times here now.

So you are stuck in a rut, cycling the same useless and harmful negative thoughts about yourself.

You need to change it up now.

Find some healthy habits.

Find a good CBT practitioner.

You're young, you have your whole entire fantastic wonderful life ahead of you. Why waste it on negativity? Learn to appreciate the gifts you receive everyday. Change your focus.

Be well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2014):

Yeah, I don't get your problem to be honest. My wife has stretchmarks, a bit of extra weight, small boobs, is very lazy about shaving her legs etc. and wouldn't win any modelling contracts but she's far from "ordinary". In terms of looks there is no one more beautiful. Even the pickiest of friends I have in terms of what they go for in a woman find her eyes to be something special and nothing at all to be amiss with the rest of her either.

OP we're all "ordinary", the most beautiful women in the world are very average looking when not glammed up. Beyoncé, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson are all very average and then women like Katy Perry and Kin Kardashian are downright ugly when not doctored with makeup or lighting.

You need to set your own standard of beauty and not look at yourself like some kind of freak for not having perfect skin.

I don't either. I'm bald, have some stretchmarks from the time I was fat and even more after I buffed up on my biceps and things.

Why are looking at porn and comparing yourself to other people, do you do that in all aspects of your life?

It's pointless as hell and you'll only make yourself sad by creating an unrealistic standard for yourself.

OP being "special" is horseshit created by advertisers to sell their products, I'm ordinary as hell and love who I am and how I look.

I'd class lots of things as out of the ordinary. Many negative things too of course but in terms of positive traits in terms of looks and stuff, I only have to think of my wife. Her face is angelic, she has the most beautiful tiny hands too, I love them.

Best of all though she's a gamer, while she doesn't follow football she does join me in supporting my team from time to time, she's viciously sarcastic to the point where her barbs are sometimes astonishingly cruel that they do hurt a tiny bit even though she doesn't mean any of them (same as me, literally the first woman I've been with that can match me in terms of jokingly abusing each other for ages with even more vicious come backs), she is insanely intelligent with a doctorate and can literally talk to you about anything you like for hours.

You see, OP, when you view life through the superficial as you are, then you'll always feel ordinary because you're not looking at the onion-like layers that make a person. My wife may not turn heads (she does on nights out), but the person she is when you get to know her can make your jaw drop.

As for the ex, how can you base any of your opinions on those of an ex? They're an ex, their opinions are completely worthless.

OP snap the hell out of it and stop being foolish. Stop comparing yourself to others, you'll always find something better in them.

I watch plenty of porn and I rarely see penises that are not bigger than mine, or men that aren't taller or have more perfect skin than me. I can go down to the beach today and see taller more handsome men. I just don't care, I have never looked at another person and felt sad that I'm not like them. I just don't see any point to it, what purpose does doing that serve, OP? When I think hard about things like that I know I have my flaws and I've accepted them because I've also accepted what makes me awesome. The only person in my life I'm in competition with is me, other people are irrelevant in that sense.

Plus, OP if you were to look deeper you may find out that actress has a gene that may hit her with breast cancer in the future, or maybe she suffers depression or has a drug addiction.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntBefore you think ALL porn stats are perfect, go look at this webpage and see what GOOD make up can do.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/03/porn-stars-without-make-up_n_3379731.html

Secondly, I have a friend who does FULL body make up for tv (not porn though, but when skin is exposed) and there are GREAT CHEAP make up out there to cover up scars, zits, tattoos and so forth. Hiding flaws is easy. ENHANCING good points make people LOOK at the good points.

NO ONE wants to be ordinary. But here is the truth, we ALL are ordinary and extraordinary at the same time. THERE is NO ONE out there like you. YOU are unique. Even twins are utterly unique even if they share more then most siblings.

I would find things about YOURSELF that you like and HIGHLIGHT those. IF you have a great face, great eyes, great hands, heck ears, lips, boobs or butt.. HIGHLIGHT them, show them off in a nice classy way.

Being pale isn't a "blemish" with the right hair color it can look outstanding!

Stubbly hair on your legs? GET A WAX.

FIND thing about you, not just your looks that you like. Maybe your sense of humor? Your intellect? being caring? Snappy dresser? great singer?

FEATURE the good thing about you and people won't pay attention to the things you don't like. And if they do, so what? It's not like they are perfect either.

WHO cares what you ex thinks? He is your ex and obviously not a very stellar guy. He can go chew rocks.

What's wrong in being ordinary? Enjoy what you got!

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (19 June 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Everybody on the planet is ordinary. Some try not to be by doing foolish things to themselves, at great expense, and for some, with great suffering. So if you consider yourself ordinary…awesome.

?

Plus the ladies in porn are body spray painted…why? Most movie cameras today film in High Def, and all their blemishes would show up really well.

Dating purpose…I like women who are simple, who do not want to be a diva. As the song goes… “a lady in the street, and a freak in the bed.”

Consider this… “You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you fix your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear. Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God's sight.”

In other words…it’s not what you see in the mirror that makes you extra ordinary, who you are on the inside.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2014):

Hi :) I know you probably want answers from men but I thought I would give you some advice anyway! First of all, the models in these videos will be wearing body foundation, and the videos will be airbrushed, so they will have flaws in real life that you can't see. Also, because this is their job they will spend a lot of time and money on their appearance, eg expensive treatments, waxes, beauty products. Anyone who looks after themselves well for instance eating healthily, exercising, and grooming themselves are unlikely to appear too ordinary! Hope this helps, good luck!

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