A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure what to make of my crush's physical signals. Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in? This guy I like is sort of a friend of a friend, so I know him, and we've gotten to know each other better recently, but we definitely aren't best buds or anything like that. A few times he's initiated/allowed contact that to me seemed to be indicating interest: for example, sitting so close to me that our arms/legs are touching (for prolonged periods of time, like upwards of 20 minutes), leaning against me (again for extended periods of time), sort of bumping me with his arm/shoulder when he makes a joke, little touches on the back/arm when talking/walking, and once, when a bunch of us were camping, setting up his sleeping bag right next to mine and actually falling asleep right snuggled up next to me with his forehead resting against mine (he commented on the cold before moving in closer, haha).But, he has never acknowledged any of these events verbally and while he sometimes responds to my flirting, other times he seems oblivious or even acts sort of weird and distant. Do these behaviors sound like things a guy would do with a female friend, especially not a very close one??? What is he trying to communicate here?!
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male
reader, thesj +, writes (11 July 2014):
I agree with the last bit of advice. I struggled for years with being brave enough to tell someone that I have feelings for them. A guy can like you, potentially a lot, and sometimes show no signs at all. If you want a relationship with this guy, someone is going to have to speak up, and it might as well be you.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 July 2014):
I don't see the point in over thinking it. This is the 2010's, it's okay for you to ask him out on a date and make the first move. He may just be timid. Or, he doesn't like you. But that's for him to decide, not you. Rejection isn't the end of the world. In fact it's actually kind of liberating because you get to realize that life moves on.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 July 2014):
 I wouldn't take these actions as anything more than they are: feeling comfortable enough to be close. You've described what my 6 year old nephew liked to do, snuggle! Even as a newborn, he liked physical contact. His older brother didn't care all that much about it.
I also have had a close male friend who liked physical contact as well. He is gay, and was just 'coming out' at the time. I think he wanted physical comfort, and it was not sexual, it was just him wanting to be accepted and cared for in a non-judgemental way.
I would stop trying to read in some hidden meaning and just enjoy the friendship. Unless, of course, you feel like you want more. In which case, well, if you don't ask, you will never know.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2014):
 It could be he likes you and wants to date you, yet it could also be that he wants to have sex with no strings attached. Some guys do want only sex, you know.
In order to find out his attention, if he comes closer to you physically, tell him bluntly that you like him, but not in that way just yet because you don't know him too well. And then say that if he likes you, maybe you should go out on a date and get to know one another better?
Or, if you're not comfortable with the direct approach, ask him out on a casual date yourself and check his response. Ask him to join you in some activity, doesn't have to be anything particularly interesting. If he likes you he will join you, no matter what the activity is, because he'd be getting to spend time with you. If he declines because he's not particularly interested in that activity (and doesn't suggest any options) then he's not that interested in you, and probably only wants to use you for sex.
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A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (8 July 2014):
 Have you observed how he acts around others? It could be he is just a "touchy feely" type, meaning he likes having physical contact with others. It doesn't have to mean he's interested in them, it could just be part of how he communicates with people. While you may not be "best buds", you did mention you're getting to know each other better, so now maybe he feels comfortable enough around you to be himself. It's possible he DOES like you. Don't get me wrong. The responding to your flirting sometimes and not others could mean he's confused about how you feel about him. If you've never actually told him how you feel, he's not necessarily going to pick up on hints. Some people are not good at picking up on a more indirect approach. If you want to know for sure, you're going to have to ask him. I would first ask him to hang out one on one, and if it goes well, then ask him on an actual date.
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