A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it time to call quits on my relationship?I've been with my boyfriend for close to five years. We've had some amazing times together but the cons have been building up to boiling point lately. I've never liked how disrespectfully he speaks to his parents in front of me and have said so. He apologises but has continued to curse/speak rudely to his parents when his temper flares up all along. I've let it go, hoping things might change. He is otherwise caring, generous, honest and loving towards me. But I can't help but think if my family members were to see him act this way, they'd tell me to run a mile! And how apprehensive I am about marrying this kind of man. I don't know if I'm making a big deal over nothing and just creating issues or, if I feel this way now, is it best to end the relationship and just move on?Please advise me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 How he treats his family is how he will treat you in the long run.
I vote for RUN AWAY...
A
female
reader, underdog +, writes (12 July 2014):
I agree, go with your gut. If you're already considering breaking up with him for reasons that you've already spoken to him about and he's not changed...I don't think there's any going back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2014): Follow your gut. If the cons are stacking up. Let wisdom take a front-row seat.
That is not the type of man you marry. He may not have given you back-history about his parents; but he certainly doesn't treat them well in the present. That is more than a red-flag. That is a deal-breaker. You don't raise children around people who do that. He's got buried-issues and he's disrespectful to the people who gave him life.
By the way, people can hide their true personalities for even longer than five years. So if you think his being sweet and caring to you is any consolation; it shouldn't be. He should be kind and respectful to his parents, siblings, you, extended family, and people in general.
There are people who show one lovely face to the public, and have a really dark-side they hide from boyfriends and girlfriends. They want to be loved, in spite of themselves.
He should have improved in may ways, as you watched him mature from a teenager to manhood. Sounds like he's turning, and you should consider moving on.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 July 2014):
 I vote for 'run' too.
A couple of red flag words were in your post: "boiling point,"how disrespectfully he speaks to his parents," "curse/speak rudely," "his temper flares up."
You've said you are apprehensive about marrying "this kind of man."
You know what needs to happen, so be safe and good luck.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 July 2014):
 The standard advice in this situation is exactly what you expect from your family. "if you want to know how he will treat you as your husband, look at how he treats his mother"
Run
FA
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 July 2014):
 I think it's a valid point. If he treats his family with disrespect it CAN be just a matter of time before he will do the same to you.
He obviously isn't going to change that fact about himself, he apologize because it's placate you into thinking he will stop.
But I would presume there were more "con" things aside from his disrespectful talk to his family?
THIS is part of who he is. IF that is a part you don't like and you know he won't change on, then over time it will be more and more of an "eyesore" for you.
My guess is, you are really just looking for a way out. If that is the reason, then no one would/should tell you to stay and "suck" it up.
You two might just have outgrown each other. You are in your early 20's and have been together for 5 years. Who and what you want (think you want) at 16-20 might be VERY different then what you want (think you want) at 21-25+
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