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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 9 July 2015: Ok, justthefacts, we have a very clear understanding about your concerns with porn. I respect your opinion on this, and agree on many points.
However, in this particular post, our OP stated these things:
I've always felt my body is inferior... (read in full...)
After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 9 July 2015: I don't see where her boyfriend said he held the porn star body as an ideal? Where did you read that, "Justthefacts"?
... (read in full...)
After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 8 July 2015: If she doesn't like her own body, how will she ever believe a man who likes her body just as it is?
And why is it so awful if a man or woman does find another body type attractive? It doesn't mean they dislike the body of the person they are with... (read in full...)
I'm searching for ideas on where to look to find girls to date. Any suggestions?
Q. what places are ideal for a man to meet single women that are in their late teens to early to mid 20's? Any idea's for me? ...
A. 8 July 2015: http://www.meetup.com
http://www.toastmasters.org (you may not meet women but you'll gain confidence and experience in public speaking)
http://volunteer.ca
http://www.yogafinder.com
... (read in full...)
After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 8 July 2015: As you didn't include a flag in your post, I can't link an appropriate site for you to find a therapist in your country. But I would assume you are in an English-speaking country with decent medical care and that you have access to said medical ... (read in full...)
After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 8 July 2015: Here's a great read from a woman who shut down a body-shamer. Perhaps your ex is out dating now? http://happyplace.someecards.com/dating-relationships/a-woman-got-an-unnecessary-fatshaming-rejection-from-a-tinder-date-but-her-response-is-great/
T... (read in full...)
I'm searching for ideas on where to look to find girls to date. Any suggestions?
Q. what places are ideal for a man to meet single women that are in their late teens to early to mid 20's? Any idea's for me? ...
A. 8 July 2015: Painting, cooking or a language class
Dance, aerobics, or yoga classes
Coffee shop in a book store
Poetry readings, anti-clear-cutting lectures, or demonstrations to free Tibet
Grocery store
Museum
At a bank, the DMV, or an amusement park
Ha... (read in full...)
We've been talking for 8 months and still no sex!
Q. I need help..Ive been talking to this girl for about almost 8 months and we havent had sex yet. She telling me to wait and I'll ask for it when i want too. Im really into this girl, always bring her out, pay, buy surprise gifts and love talking to ...
A. 7 July 2015: I think "we've been talking" is the new version of dating for the 20-somethings, jls022. It's kind of like, if you put in enough hours devoting yourself to getting to know a woman, then she owes you the courtesy of having sex with you, whether or ... (read in full...)
After finding my boyfriend's porn stash, I'm worried he wasn't being honest when he said he likes my body!
Q. I'm sorry if there are more questions like this, but I used the search feature and it didn't seem to work. This may seem like a petty issue, but it's making me feel self conscious. I've always felt my body is inferior, considering you always get t...
A. 7 July 2015: Men love you, the whole package, so to speak, not the bits and pieces which pop up online. He could well look at a woman with large breasts and a slender figure and experience a little sexual 'zing.' Does that mean he wants to spend the rest of his ... (read in full...)
Can this marriage still work after what my husband told me? He loves me, but not my changed physical appearance
Q. I have been with my husband for 5 years. After having two children and dealing with my weight issues this past year, my body has definitely changed. My husband sat me down a couple of nights ago and I knew something was wrong. He told me he didn'...
A. 6 July 2015: What's odd is that he sat you down and told you that he's not attracted to you but then did not offer some plans or solutions to help you two come to some new stasis.
It's one thing if the issue is you gained 10 or 40 lbs. It's entirely another if y... (read in full...)
Is going with his best friend bad? Have I put up with too much cheating by my BF?
Q. so, me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. But over that time, I will put in order...he has: Kissed a girl Had sexual contact with a girl kissed a girl slept with a girl sent nudes to a girl kissed a girl kissed a girl sent fl...
A. 6 July 2015: If you can't imagine life without him, then prepare for a life of your boyfriend kissing, having sex with, having sexual contact with women.
If you are expecting him to be a faithful type, I'm so sorry, he's just not going to be able to fulfill that... (read in full...)
She is a newer employee. Why would our boss give her preferential treatment not offered to the rest of us?
Q. My boss gave a female cowoker 'blocked days' off that were forbidden to the rest of us.. A manager refused to give her those days. Then she asked the head manager, who gave her anything. Even the better work schedule. She's newer than most of us....
A. 6 July 2015: Heather, obviously you believe your co-worker is getting preferential treatment. As we don't know anything about your workplace nor about your own work performance, perhaps the best thing you can do, if you want similar treatment, is to ask your ... (read in full...)
I've looked forward all year to going into the ocean but because of recent shark attacks my mother is forbidding it!
Q. This isn't exactly about a romantic relationship,but I'm really hurting and hope you will please help me. It's hurting me a lot. I've got a dilemna. I'm from the coast, and the ocean was always a big part of our lifestyle, and I never had any ...
A. 2 July 2015: Can't you just tell Mom you're going to walk along the beach and then go in the ocean when you are out of view? Or go with friends? You're in your late 20s so presumably you are old enough to go without parental supervision.
In the meantime, perh... (read in full...)
Will it be leading this girl on if I text her? I know she likes me but I don't want to date her
Q. I used to work with this girl at work and she has a very strong crush on me(workmates all know and she expressed her feelings of love many times). Quite awhile ago she left for another workplace, making sure I got her number to chat with her. I d...
A. 30 June 2015: I wouldn't bother texting her, you don't like her in that way and you'll just be feeding her hopes. This sounds a bit, well, obsessive?
Not everyone you know or work with is destined to be your friend, so don't worry about that.
As she's expresse... (read in full...)
I cheated and I don't feel it eating away at me, so should I keep this to myself?
Q. To bluntly put it, I cheated on my hubby last night. It was a quick one night stand, no one knows about it, all evidence is gone and it was a few cities away from home.. I dont feel it eating away at me so.. Should i keep this to myself? We have ...
A. 30 June 2015: P.S. Don't have sex with your husband until you have been tested for STIs. It's one thing to cheat, it's entirely another to give your husband a life-altering disease. *ahem*... (read in full...)
I cheated and I don't feel it eating away at me, so should I keep this to myself?
Q. To bluntly put it, I cheated on my hubby last night. It was a quick one night stand, no one knows about it, all evidence is gone and it was a few cities away from home.. I dont feel it eating away at me so.. Should i keep this to myself? We have ...
A. 30 June 2015: I don't really know what to advise here.
Let's take it from another viewpoint. Your hubby cheated last night when you were out of town, it was a quick one night stand, no one knows about it, all evidence is gone and it happened out of town. He does... (read in full...)
I am obsessed with my colleague, do you think she will be receptive to my attempts to be her friend again?
Q. I'm not really writing this to find a solution to a problem. I don't really think there is a solution. I just needed to express something. I'm a married male father of four and I would consider myself happily married. About five years ago, there was ...
A. 30 June 2015: Get yourself to the doctor, tell him (or her) your situation and get your hormones checked. Also ask about a full mental and physical health work up; what needs to be tested and evaluated. See a neurologist, perhaps?
In the meantime, try to imag... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my fetish for watching my lady with other men will ruin our relationship. She doesn't want to do this!
Q. Got a difficult question. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years but we have different mentalities. She is set on monogamy and I have a bad fetish of watching her be intimate with other males. I don't mean different males every time, I ...
A. 29 June 2015: You're looking for expertise in open relationships? We do have some aunts here who have that. However, your girlfriend doesn't want an open relationship, so that's not really at issue here. She wants monogamy. You are the one pushing her to have ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my fetish for watching my lady with other men will ruin our relationship. She doesn't want to do this!
Q. Got a difficult question. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years but we have different mentalities. She is set on monogamy and I have a bad fetish of watching her be intimate with other males. I don't mean different males every time, I ...
A. 29 June 2015: And if you have not made it clear to her that you have this fetish, it's time to tell her. You've kept it secret for 4 years and you are presumably planning a wedding? Not cool, dude, not cool.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my fetish for watching my lady with other men will ruin our relationship. She doesn't want to do this!
Q. Got a difficult question. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years but we have different mentalities. She is set on monogamy and I have a bad fetish of watching her be intimate with other males. I don't mean different males every time, I ...
A. 29 June 2015: You've always had this fetish and were not honest with her? Hm.
You didn't comment on my advice to seek a specialist in sex therapy. If you are madly in love with her, why wouldn't you get help for something you know will ruin the relationship?... (read in full...)
I didn't care for g/f getting heavier but suddenly our sex life has become awesome. Have I conditioned myself to like her body?
Q. Hi. I'm in a bit of a strange place with my love life and wondered what people thought. I've been with my girlfriend for coming up to six years now, 3 of which we have lived together. I used to absolutely love her slim, toned figure but after we ...
A. 29 June 2015: I wonder if she might be pregnant?... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my fetish for watching my lady with other men will ruin our relationship. She doesn't want to do this!
Q. Got a difficult question. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years but we have different mentalities. She is set on monogamy and I have a bad fetish of watching her be intimate with other males. I don't mean different males every time, I ...
A. 29 June 2015: I think you two fundamentally are not sexually compatible.
Your fetish is very strong, and involves bringing others into your bedroom. She's tried it, it's not for her, so it's now off the sexual menu forever in your relationship.
I don't know why... (read in full...)
How do I end things gently after 3 dates?
Q. First date - coffee and dancing. Second date - drinks, dancing, and kissing. Third date - (impressive) dinner at her place, and couch make out session. How do I end things gently as soon as possible? I'm 32 and she's 33. While I had fun o...
A. 29 June 2015: "Hey, I have something I need to tell you. While I've enjoyed our time together, I've had a chance to do some self-reflection and I have come to realize that while you are incredibly attractive, it just isn't happening for me. I don't want to lead ... (read in full...)
Sick of ex's older wife
Q. I have a son who is 6 years old and my ex currently has more custody than I do, I get him every other weekend. My problem is I'm so sick of my ex's wife and really don't want her around my son. For starters she's 46 years old, 10 years older than ...
A. 28 June 2015: "How do I stop her from being so intrusive in my son's life and just plain butt out?"
Well, you could repair the relationship with your son to the point that he is happy to spend time with you.
If you feel like you're on trial here, remember... (read in full...)
How can someone be so casually intimate?
Q. I'm seeing a girl at the moment on a casual basis, whenever were together she's very touchy feely, loves kissing and hugging me and falling asleep on me and all that kind of thing, but insists she doesn't want anythjng serious. I'm a little c...
A. 28 June 2015: I agree with chigirl, you should know why someone could be sexually intimate but only casual, as you said about yourself: "I'm seeing a girl at the moment on a casual basis"
I think your real conundrum is "I'm a little confused as to what I want... (read in full...)
Does his comment mean he isn't thinking into a future with me?
Q. I have a question about something my boyfriend said, but here's some background first: I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We're both the type who are marriage minded, and he has said he is dating me with the end goal of marriage. ...
A. 28 June 2015: Have you both been using the term "our" kids all along?... (read in full...)
Without making her mad, how do I let her know I want to sleep with her?
Q. I just met a woman at new housing development and signed paper work to buy a house from. She is know longer with the company and I have met with her once for coffee. My question is how can i let her i want to sleep with her witout offending her or ...
A. 28 June 2015: Wayne, your answers are a bit, um, vague. I'm not sure you are going to be able to communicate your desires in a manner that will ensure she accepts your proposal without being offended.
The next time you get together with her, you could start a ge... (read in full...)
Are my concerns justified ? He's joined the army and I'm worried that the army will change him and our relationship.
Q. Ok so I just got married to a guy I have been with for about three and a half years. I love him so much, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has just enlisted in the national guard/reserves and is currently in basic training...
A. 28 June 2015: I've found some online forums for you: http://www.militarysos.com Also the basic website for the National Guard: http://www.nationalguard.com
Here's the link to the forum on family: http... (read in full...)
Ladies: How much pain do you feel during first time sex?
Q. Hi everyone Hope you all are fine. I am gonna marry next month.I had never sex in my life. I just watched some porn videos. I wamted to know especially from female how much pain you feel during wedding night sex!!! my gf told me that she scared ...
A. 28 June 2015: Here's another great article from http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/first_intercourse_101
An excerpt on pain and bleeding from that article:
Pain and Bleeding
You may find that first intercourse does hurt. How much it hurts -- or if it ... (read in full...)
Ladies: How much pain do you feel during first time sex?
Q. Hi everyone Hope you all are fine. I am gonna marry next month.I had never sex in my life. I just watched some porn videos. I wamted to know especially from female how much pain you feel during wedding night sex!!! my gf told me that she scared ...
A. 28 June 2015: First of all, forget anything you "learned" in the porn videos. They are designed for men's sexual appetite and have very little to do with most women's sexuality.
Take it slow.
Learn from her what she likes.
Her most important sexual organ is her... (read in full...)
We have an amazing connection but he says we'll meet up and then never contacts me till its too late!
Q. Hey everyone,here is my problem So this guy I have been seeing we have been on 5 dates to now and it's been very on and off there is no spontaneity,no flow..he disappears then comes right back and ask if we could meet up!last date I told him I find ...
A. 28 June 2015: He sounds like a flaky guy. He may well mean every nice word he says at the moment he says it, but then when you aren't present, the feelings just aren't there. He IS rude. If you hope he'll suddenly snap out of it, I'm afraid he's probably pretty ... (read in full...)
How can I handle everyone asking me if I like this boy?
Q. One of my friends found out I like this boy in my year she then told other people and now everyone in my year know that I like him. I've known this guy since I was around like 6/7 years old. Now everywhere I go people keep asking me "Do you like...
A. 28 June 2015: What you are doing, with my approach, is to show the askers just how immature their question is. You ignore the question entirely and point out to them how stupid they sound when they ask it. Reframes the situation, by putting you in the position of ... (read in full...)
How can I handle everyone asking me if I like this boy?
Q. One of my friends found out I like this boy in my year she then told other people and now everyone in my year know that I like him. I've known this guy since I was around like 6/7 years old. Now everywhere I go people keep asking me "Do you like...
A. 28 June 2015: "Of course I like him, I've known him for ages. Why are you asking? Don't you like him?"
[blather back from the inquisitor....]
"Oh you mean do I LIKE him in that way? What are you, like 11 or something? What a little kid type of question... (read in full...)
He's amicably seperated but procrastinates about divorce
Q. I am in desperate need of advice. My boyfriend has been seperated and not living with his wife for five years, they have no kids. We have been dating for 3 and a half years. My boyfriend and his ex are friends and as a child of divorced parents ...
A. 27 June 2015: Is she getting her treatment for cancer covered through his policy?
It's not like this is a new discovery, you've known they are still married and it's been 3.5 years now.
If you want the divorce over, well, he's had a number of years to get that... (read in full...)
Without making her mad, how do I let her know I want to sleep with her?
Q. I just met a woman at new housing development and signed paper work to buy a house from. She is know longer with the company and I have met with her once for coffee. My question is how can i let her i want to sleep with her witout offending her or ...
A. 26 June 2015: Ask her out? Get to know her better and test the water by mentioning how comfortable you are with "friends with benefits" situations. Unless you've devised a mind-reading device, there really are no shortcuts.... (read in full...)
Advice on getting my lover back?
Q. Hey everyone, this is my very first post and I would like advice and tips on how to get a long term ex girlfriend back. My best-friend of 4 years, girlfriend of just over 2 broke up with me over a month ago and I would like to get back with he...
A. 24 June 2015: This is not scientific nor is it guaranteed. If you want to get her back you have to stop trying to get her back. You have to stop looking at her facebook or other social media.
You need to get active and busy with friends and post a lot about it. ... (read in full...)
Is my behaviour really irrational, in the circumstances?
Q. hi, I am little confused with my boyfriends actions lately he thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing but I think it hurts me somewhere! Let me give you 2 instances Yesterday I asked his help to write a formal letter this was for my littl...
A. 24 June 2015: Do you two spend a lot of time together? There's something about this post which suggests that most of your interactions are online, could you please clarify?... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel a little scared about a man I had a brief fling with?
Q. Am I right to feel a little scared about a man I had a brief fling with? The thing is - he was lovely to start with, in the beginning, but then we fell out and split up due to his continual flirting with other women on FB. I called him a pl...
A. 24 June 2015: You can't continue to try to deal with the future"nice guy" you hope he will become. You have to deal with the reality of who he is right at this moment.
He's not your friend, he's not your boyfriend, he's not even a future boyfriend at this poin... (read in full...)
How to turn down dates?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 23 June 2015: "No, thank you."
"No, I'm not available."
If they persist, say "I'm not trying to be rude, just take this a 'no,' thank you."
If they persist more, "I'm not interested in dating you/hooking up/hanging out."
Being politely clear is NOT being rud... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 23 June 2015: Yes, back up and run before it's too late. You will have to distance yourself from the married man but thankfully he lives a long way away.
How is it that you don't realize that what you are doing with him is an incredibly self-destructive thin... (read in full...)
Is this stress I feel and the emotional shut-down I experience a normal reaction to the trauma of seeing my friend pass away in an accident when I was a child?
Q. I am from a small town. Many many years ago I was not old enough to go to school. I went with my mom to get my older brother. We picked him up and and were heading home. My brother's best friend used to ride his bicycle home everyday. My br...
A. 23 June 2015: As you are experiencing flashbacks to this traumatic incident and describe yourself as not feeling 'whole' following your wartime military service, I think it's safe to say that this is probably not very healthy for you.
Please go get yourself the ... (read in full...)
He wants time apart after our years together. Does this suggest that he's already seeing someone else?
Q. Why would my boyfriend after 22 yrs tell me that we need time apart ? i feel he has been seeing someone else he always makes me feel like im nobody to him ...
A. 23 June 2015: If you've spent 22 years with a guy who makes you feel like a nobody, wouldn't it be great to find out how it feels to be a somebody to yourself?
Ask him. if you can't ask him this after 22 years then you really do have nothing with him. ... (read in full...)
He claims to have picked me over all these gorgeous women but compares me to them anyway! Should I be flattered or hurt?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few months and there is something that is starting to get me down. I'd like to know if I'm right to be a bit upset about it. We met each other on a dating site, we get on quite well and we are both very open p...
A. 23 June 2015: He sounds like he spends a great deal of time thinking about appearance and looks and very little time thinking about being sensitive and empathetic.
I personally would not spend any more time on him; I'd end the relationship now. He obviously has ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 22 June 2015: Sorry, you wrote "He is married with kids just like i am." So you aren't married? And the relationship with him is essentially a lot of arguing? So end the toxic relationship, go on being a super mommy.
And remember that bio cousin is married.
So... (read in full...)
He promised me he'd stop saving inappropriate pictures, but I caught him again and have threatened to move out! Is he being disrespectful?
Q. My man and I live together and have had a long term relationship. He started viewing nsfw pictures and saving them to his computer from a social site we both belong to. He promised he would stop but I found out he is doing it again. Sometimes ...
A. 22 June 2015: Well, you said you would move out if it continued. It is continuing, so .....
I do think you have very different ideas about what is acceptable in a longterm relationship. I had an uncle who kept Playboy magazines on the coffee table and in the bath... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 22 June 2015: Why did you get married if you aren't ready to be faithful? Are you a supermommy, really? Would you want to put your children through a family crisis?
So you have a crush, and it happens to be on your cousin. So what? You made the choice to be marr... (read in full...)
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