A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi,I am little confused with my boyfriends actions lately he thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing but I think it hurts me somewhere!Let me give you 2 instancesYesterday I asked his help to write a formal letter this was for my little sister!since my mom is not well versed in English so I volunteered I asked my boyfriend to help me over the phone.I asked him if he was free,for which he said is it an emergency i said it is, but it can wait. You get done with work and call me!he calls me but doesn't talk about the formal letter we needed to work on and he takes a shower and heads out for dinner!i felt that was very rude of him because I was really counting on him and he did not even address it!so I wrote it myself and emailed it to my mom!The second instance is my boyfriend had a fall out with his best friend and we talked about it for weeks. Then I finally convinced him into forgiving his best friend and start talking to him again, as his best friend realised his mistake and was apologising profusely!He did not have credit on his phone, so i loaned him credit, so he could talk to his best friend.I expected him to later tell me may be not their conversation, but at least tell ME if everything was okay or not, but he didn't ! I pretended that never happened,when I was concerned about whether things worked out between them!Is my behaviour really irrational?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 June 2015):
 Do you two spend a lot of time together? There's something about this post which suggests that most of your interactions are online, could you please clarify?
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 June 2015):
 Irrational? It's not lunatic crazy or anything but I'd say it was unnecessary.
You might have been a bit hasty in asking for your boyfriend's help to draft the letter. You volunteered to do it and the fact that you ultimately did it yourself means you didn't need the help. I suspect you ask for help more often than is really necessary and your boyfriend has figured that out. Plus, he did ask you if it was urgent and you said it wasn't so that is how he treated it.
As for the best friend, yes, it would have been nice for him to let you know how it worked out, but not absolutely necessary. He might have had other things on his mind at that particular time. On the other hand if things hadn't worked out, he might not have wanted to talk about it at that moment. I wouldn't have pretended it never happened. I'd have simply asked him if it was all sorted and leave it at that. He'll volunteer what he wants me to know.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2015):
 I think you two have some serious communication problems. If you two talk over e-mail, then why not ASK him over e-mail if he can improve on that letter (IF he has time) and then attach what YOU wrote.
As for not sharing what went on with him and his BFF - well I DO find it a bit odd that he isn't sharing, maybe he didn't want to use his phone minutes talking about the BFF or it's not fully resolved.
Are you two long distance? Because IF you are, you NEED to work on your communication or things are going to be misinterpreted over and over.
And maybe don't send him phone cards if he doesn't USE them to communicate with you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 June 2015):
 is there a reason you didn't or can't say "hey when will you help me with this letter?" and
"so how'd the conversation with your BF go?"
i think you maybe expect things from him he's not aware are expected of him.
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