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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am from a small town. Many many years ago I was not old enough to go to school. I went with my mom to get my older brother. We picked him up and and were heading home. My brother's best friend used to ride his bicycle home everyday. My brother and him were inseperable. On this particular day my mom had been chatting with his teacher so his friend had a head start on us. What happened was the most horrible thing I can ever remember in my entire life. From a considerable distance he was riding down the hill and a train was coming very fast but it seemed like slow motion and he was headed for the crossing. My mom sped up and tried to get in front of him but he was struck by the train. In my life I have rarely thought of this but lately I've been having nightmares. I see the same thing happen over and over again. I was in the medical corp. during desert storm. I did my job and it was hard not to be emotionally attached but I did it but I feel like part of me isn't whole. Like I can't show emotion. I feel like I've shut down the part of me that's human. I don't understand why I'm reliving this incident over and over again. My mom cried and my brother cried but I never cried. He was my friend too. I guess the question I should ask is this normal?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 June 2015):
 As you are experiencing flashbacks to this traumatic incident and describe yourself as not feeling 'whole' following your wartime military service, I think it's safe to say that this is probably not very healthy for you.
Please go get yourself the care you need, which you can start by seeing your doctor, getting a referral for counseling or therapy, find a support group and make sure you are nurturing yourself through healthy eating, exercise, mindfulness and getting enough sleep.
I hope you find yourself on a path to learning how to cope with your past in a way that isn't traumatic for you. Sorry for your loss and your current distress about the situation.
Best wishes.
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