A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,here is my problem So this guy I have been seeing we have been on 5 dates to now and it's been very on and off there is no spontaneity,no flow..he disappears then comes right back and ask if we could meet up!last date I told him I find it odd that he disappears and he said "I really like you and I am very attracted to you and I think it's obvious" so during our date I got a call from a guy friend who asked me out and this guy I was with asked me if I am going to go on a dinner date!so I said why do you have a problem if I do?he said I don't think I can tell you what to do I mean I am not your boyfriend but I would feel bad!After the date he hugged me real right and said he has never felt a connection like this fast forward to later that day he said he wants to meet up again Cuz we both had sucha a good time i said okay but he never got back to me because he was or for a dinner business meeting and said hel meet me after then it got too later and we did not meet!next day he texts me asking me to meet up for dinner and I. Said yes again so I asked him what time and he said hel get back to me and I asked him to let me know by 8pm so he did not check my message which I sent on bbm but I saw him online on whatsapp and he did not get back to me till 9.30 and I was waiting!then I texted saying as usual you made plans and flaked and now I'm heading out for dinner,so he texted back saying we are meeting later and not being clear and then texted again if I want to meet i ignored the text and he later said okay have fun at dinner to which I replied I just got home I hope you have fun at dinner too good night(I was very cold) so I haven't heard from him since neither have I texted!we had so much connection,sparks but I am just sad he doesn't invest time to meet and makes plans and doesn't even give me a heads up!i just find that very rude because I sit there ready waiting for him to give me a time to meet up and he doesn't and it's always him making plans not me!i feel just because I say yes to him he's taking it for granted but I have said no to meeting him when I was busy with work!i don't know what to do!i want to meet him again we had sucha an amazing connection it's just this that just messed the entire thing up!how do I deal with this?what do I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2015):
 Yep is is a FLAKE. And not a "special snowflake" kind, but a FLAKE.
Telling you that "he can't tell you what to do (in regards to a dinner offer with another man) but that he would "feel" bad if you did go - is PURE manipulation.
And honestly, YOU setting up a dinner date with another guy while out with this one? RUDE. Would you appreciate if HE (or another male) did that? THAT IS RUDE. You tell the guy : "hey can I call you back later or tomorrow I'm in the middle of something?"
But back to Mr. Flake... YOU are wasting your time here. GREAT "connection" or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo if and when he asks me out again should I say no!i really like this guy but I'm getting super annoyed with his behavior!and whats bad is he doesn't even say sorry he just says "I am meeting or but I thought I was going to see u at this time"
After he meets he will text me continuously saying how much he loved spending time with me and just did not want to leave me and how gorgeous I looked!
I just want him to realise how wronf that is not telling a woman a time to meet up!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 June 2015):
 He sounds like a flaky guy. He may well mean every nice word he says at the moment he says it, but then when you aren't present, the feelings just aren't there. He IS rude. If you hope he'll suddenly snap out of it, I'm afraid he's probably pretty set in his ways at his age.
I'd stop trying to hang out with him. If you wait around for him, you may miss out on a great guy who won't be an inconsiderate poor communicator.
P.S. If you really want to clarify things, stop texting use communication apps that use voice and video. Or the phone. Just sayin'.
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