A
male
age
41-50,
*hyrey red
writes:Hi. I'm in a bit of a strange place with my love life and wondered what people thought. I've been with my girlfriend for coming up to six years now, 3 of which we have lived together. I used to absolutely love her slim, toned figure but after we moved in she began putting on weight with increasingly bad diet habits. I tried bringing up the weight gain issue about 18 months ago after she asked me if I was happy with her physically. She got very upset when I told her honestly what I thought, she cried for hours and threatened to dump me several times -this made me cry and also seeing her that upset. Anyway, I've not brought it up since and have internalised my feelings so as not to hurt her. She brought it up again recently and said I need to accept her figure. It's hard to say what her weight is as she would never go on scales even when she was slim, but I'd guess she has put on 4-5 stone over a 3 year period. I love her and don't want to be with anyone else, but I want to see her fit and healthy. However, just this last week or so our sex life has been nothing short of sensational -I can't stop thinking about her sexually and I suddenly love her much curvier body more than I ever did. She's popping out of her clothes and though I don't really like to see that, when we're in the bedroom it's the opposite. I wouldn't say she's now a big girl but she's not far off. Have I been socially conditioned and this is what I always wanted or have I conditioned myself in to telling myself I prefer her now so I don't lose her? I'm very confused!
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male
reader, Phyrey red +, writes (2 July 2015):
Phyrey red is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous lady: Thanks, I googled women with 30% body fat and I would say my partner is perhaps more like around 35-40%. I've realised now I love her body as it is -Curvier women are super hot! She's actually about the size of her mum now, which I guess makes sense if genetic. I hope to keep her on fit healthy road we're now on though but not to lose weight but I don't want her to have health problems in future.
A
male
reader, Phyrey red +, writes (30 June 2015):
Phyrey red is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for comments. It's funny that I always wanted to be with someone slim, passing on opportunities with plus-size girls in the past and ended up with a slim one who became plus-size and now that's what I've got and I perhaps do feel conflicted -perhaps because I am slim or perhaps because of social pressures but when we're intimate I have never been so turned on by her body in the bedroom. I guess I really do prefer bigger girls afterall as the bedroom is ultimately where it counts with physical attraction. I want her to be healthy though, whatever size she is. I hope I still feel the same way long term. We're going for a run tonight and there has been talk of juicing (she previously refused to diet though I never asked her to) which a mutual friend has tried and recommended to her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2015): Just roll with it :-)
Maybe you like the internal conflict and that gets you super stimulated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2015): I don't know what the story's with you liking her in bed better than before she put on weight, but I agree that she is doing something very unhealthy to her body. 5 stones is 70 lb. I am 140lb at 5.4".and I am far from being thin. I can't imagine being 210lb. I would be suffering from the extra weight, not being able to move as easy as Ido now, and breathe. Plus she did it so fast within a few years. May be there is something going on with her thyroid?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (29 June 2015):
 I wonder if she might be pregnant?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 June 2015):
 Looks like your problem just solved itself. Easy peasy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 June 2015):
 how about you love HER and the wrapping does not change HER.
suggestion... give her some spending cash to splurge on some new clothes that fit well... if you can afford it. No strings attached... well fitting clothes make a huge difference in how we feel about ourselves.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2015): Hahaha,does it matter? Just enjoy it!PS: NO, I do not believe you've been socially conditioned to like her that way. The OPPOSITE is true: there is a great deal of pressure on women/girls to be slim and men (including you!!!) to believe that they just naturally happen to like slim people.As a matter of fact, many "deities" (female and male) in the past were fat. (statues etc. found)That is because BACK then being fat, meant you were rich/well off (i.e. you could afford it+ you could lay around not having to "work it off").Now, it is fashionable to be slim.PPS: I just remembered-an article on the New scientist were saying that women were actually designed to get "fat" as apparently is better for the baby (who knew?). According to this, apparently (I know,I couldn't believe it!) our grey matter is supposed to be made up from fat in the initial stages,so the fatter the woman=the smarter the baby.Also, just google women at say 25-30% body fat. A man at 25-30% is FAT. He is healthy/ok at 15%,even better at 10%. A woman at 10% body fat is a bodybuilder...The fact that "our" normal is your "fat" should tell you something. Women have been made to store fat (for some biological reason), whereas men-not so much.
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