A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex best friend whom i love (and i assume is either gay or bi because we flirted with each other about love etc) has broken up with me.It's been a while and i'm past the miserable days of crying over him. I still emo over him sometimes but i'm a lot better now.I notice him looking at me a lot when we see each other accidentally, like he obviously tries stealing glances etc. However, whenever i talk to him, he doesn't sound too friendly or interested. He even rejects my offer a lot when i've mustered so much courage just to ask.Last year in the span of months after our breakup, he used to ignore all my texts. At least now he replies albeit with very short answers. I'm trying to give him space and not bug too much, but is he still interested? We have an impt exam by the end of the year, could he be prioritizing his studies? He doesn't need to be so cold to me though. What should i do to get back with him?*also, i assume he might have spread a bit abt me being gay while hiding his own sexuality when he vented to others after our breakup. This might contribute to his reluctance to be a hypocrite and return to me. I mean, i did too but now i accept and admit that i want him*
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 May 2012):
 According to my gay friends, there is no worse nightmare than being hung up on a guy who is still in the closet. They also told me that one should never ever date a guy who has just come out, not within the first year, anyway, as the adjustment period from being perceived as straight to feeling confident and comfortable with being gay can be a bumpy time.
My advice, based on my gay male friends, is to let him figure it out for himself. Give him all the space he needs and then some. If and when this guy figures it out, you'll be contentedly pursuing your own interests and won't have put yourself on a shelf waiting around for him. So, a guy deep in the closet? Avoid! Avoid! Danger, Will Robison! Danger!
And keep on studying. You don't want unrequited love to screw up your grades and possibly your future career and life choices.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 May 2012):
 In my opinion he is not ready for people to know that he is gay or bi. It sounds to me like he is not dealing very well with who he is, or else he is trying to be someone he is not. He needs to deal with these issues. He has been hurtful to you, and he is still being short with you, I think you need to stop wasting your time here with him. I know that it is hard, but if he ever changes his mind then he knows where to find you, but for now he just does not want to be with you, I think you need to accept this and move on with your life. Stop contacting him and move forward with things.
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