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I want anal again but she refuses! What should I do? I want to go with a call girl just for revenge!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 May 2012) 16 Answers - (Newest, 5 May 2012)
A male United States age 41-50, *ukefortender writes:

We did it two times but she doesn't want it anymore, the first time was painful to her but the second one she enjoyed because i did it a soft way!

Now i desire to have anal intercourse again with her but she doesn't want it, we've talked about this before but everytime we end up in a fight!

What should i do? I want to make it with a call girl, just for revenge!

View related questions: revenge

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A female reader, JessicaStarDust United States +, writes (5 May 2012):

JessicaStarDust agony auntWow, I must agree with many people on here.

You are very wrong in what you are wanting and care nothing for that girl to even want to do this to her. Dump her. Get rid of her so she will have a chance to be with a MAN that will treat her how she DESERVES to be treated.

Then you can call your other and have as much butt sex as you want. Just remember later on in your life you will get F'd up the arse just as you are trying to do to that poor girl. (I'm not just talking about sexual either kid.)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012):

Okay as a women I understand there's this stuff called anal ease it helps num and I only would do it if I'm drunk so maybe talk 2 her and say if u give me a possiblity that we will be able 2 do it again that would b good enough! My husband always asks and I hate it I mean maybe if u stop bugging that she would I like 2 b a surprise king of thing I no he enjoys it but I have 2 be in a mood so maybe she's the same way deff talk 2 her don't go 2 cheating that's wrong and if she let some other guy do anal on her sfter she found out u did that how would u feel? Seems 2 me ur a lil imature!

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A male reader, JustHelpinAgain Canada +, writes (5 May 2012):

Good grief. Hopefully by now you have grown up enough to care about your girlfriend!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012):

Try understanding what it feels like for her, instead of just whining about it. Maybe if you shove a dildo into your anus (WITH OR WITHOUT LUBE), and start thrusting it back and forth roughly, you'll take the hint that IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD. Stop thinking about your own selfish needs, or leave her so that she can find someone better than you, someone who respects her, and wouldn't do anything to HURT her.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI love your submittal, Luke. Here you are, age 26-29 according to your submittal.... and you're asking us the kind of question that we might expect from a 12-year-old.

Revenge sex???? Why not get your revenge by driving your car in to a bridge abutment at high speed. When "she" sees that you've deliberately killed yourself, THAT will "show her!!!!"

Grow up!!!!!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (4 May 2012):

chigirl agony auntRevenge on what? If you're eager to get even then tell her she gets to push a dildo up your ass for each time you want to push your penis up hers. That's what's fair. Lets see how much you enjoy that.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

person12345 agony auntClearly she didn't like it the first two times. Isn't it obvious that she was pretending to like it because she wanted to make you happy? Anal sex hurts the vast majority of women. It feels like losing your virginity x10 (which feels kind of like skin being torn) plus a sensation like you have to poop so badly only instead of it coming out, more is being pushed in. Sound fun? Why don't you get her a strap on so you can go ahead and feel it for yourself.

Why should she have to be in hideous pain and discomfort and feel totally humiliated and embarrassed just so you can fulfill your porn fantasy? She said no. When it happens in porn, guess what, most of the porn actresses hate it too. They have to prepare for a whole day, doing an enema and not eating, like if they were going into surgery. It's also one of the most dangerous sex acts you can do, frequently causing small abrasions up the rectum (meaning she'll be in pain all week) and every single time runs the risk of permanently "relaxing" the muscles there causing a distended rectum and/or needing to wear diapers. Sound fun?

If she wanted to give you paper cuts between your fingers because it was her fantasy, would you say it's alright for her to go have sex with your best friend in retaliation for your refusal?

Women are human beings, not sex toys. Did you forget that?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012):

Revenge? You need counseling buddy...that is just wrong.

I think you are watching way too much porn and have a very skewed idea of how anal sex really is.

If it hurts her, you are doing it all wrong. This is one thing she should have a whole lot of control over for more reason than one.

Anal sex is not a spontanious thing...unless both of you don't mind what happens in the toilet happening in your bedroom.

Sometimes, I wish straight men would try anal out, just to see what it feels like. They think they can just enter the same as a vagina and it's gonna feel just like they "think" it feels when they view it in a porn. Get a clue, it's not like that at all. I think if a man has the audacity to demand anal...what's good for the goose, is good for the gander...very immature thinking...I feel sorry for your partner to be involved with someone who thinks like this.

I happen to be a person who enjoys it, but it took a lot of trial and error to figure out what was right for ME. And I said no plenty of times before it was pleasurable.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012):

One way to resolve this problem might be to ask her to perform anal penetration on you with a sex toy that resembles the size of your penis. If you ask her to perform it exactly as you did and you try it a couple of times. It might help you to understand why she is not keen on doing it again and then you wont need to fight with her about it anymore.

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A female reader, 1sunshine United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

1sunshine agony auntYou need to grow up man! I tried it one time with my b.f. and it hurt like hell! I will never do it again. You should give her credit for at least trying....

I think she should return the favor. Have her put on a strap on dildo, bend over & then see how YOU feel. :D

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A male reader, Hugh.J United Kingdom +, writes (4 May 2012):

Hugh.J agony auntNo male answerers so far, but I agree with the ladies - you are a selfish, disrespecting spoiled child. With your attitude she would honestly be better off without you, at least until you grow up and learn to consider others as well as yourself and don't spit the dummy when you don't get your own way.

Go to that whore. But don't come back.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntYou need to figure out a way to deal with it, rather than trying to coerce her into a sex act that is painful and humiliating for her. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-wife-wont-have-anal-sex-should-i5.html

You seem to be handling this about as well as a toddler being told he can't have a toy. Throwing a tantrum and then plotting a little revenge. Is that really your mental level of maturity? Don't you think your wife deserves some respect from you?

What matters to you more, quickly, without thinking about it, your sexual fantasies or your wife's well-being?

Your answer will determine the course of your marriage. It will also point to where you are in your maturity and what you need to work on.

Please consider seeing a counselor about this. It seems to be a recurring problem. May I ask if you spend any time watching porn?

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

*third time

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

Well for that you deserve the "worst boyfriend of the year" award. Seriously? Anal can be very painful. It's for outgoing traffic, not to stick things in there. The fact she let you try it in the first place speaks volumes about her dedication and just because she's not up for a second time you're going to punish her by cheating on her with a call girl? What a winner you are. Relationships are a two way road. That means giving and receiving and above all: RESPECTING each other. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntRevenge?

why do you feel the need for REVENGE? what is this about?

she said NO...

if she asked you to dress in women's clothing and parade around the room in 6 inch heels then bend over and take it up the ass with a strap on would you like that?

she tried it.

she does not LIKE IT.

you need to respect the fact that she let you try again even after it HURT her.

you need to thank her for giving you the experience and you need to apologize for thinking with your little head.

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A female reader, Puffalapeno United States +, writes (4 May 2012):

Revenge? For what? She tried it twice, probably didn't enjoy it nearly as much the second time as you thought she did and now doesn't desire doing it again. Consider yourself lucky that she consented to trying it at all, especially trying a second time. Respect her wishes on this or you might find yourself not getting regular sex either, at least not with her.

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