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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 5 July 2012: I think you are being notified of your own answers on this post; as you post your own answer, the system sends you an email message, if you signed up for that feature. No one can PM you because your user name is not shown.
Apparently you are thin... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 15 June 2012: Do you have homeless people there? We have homeless people here. What would you be capable of if you didn't have any money and needed to feed a child?... (read in full...)
I've never had an orgasm with my boyfriend and I cant keep faking it forever!
Q. Hey there ladies and gents. I am completely in love with my boyfriend. I'm 18, he's now 20. We've been dating for almost 2 years now. Physically he is very handsome, tall, and somewhat fit. Emotionally he is super sweet, a little sarcastic, loving, ...
A. 14 June 2012: Also, stop moaning unless you mean it. This might help encourage him to try the things you've pointed out that work.
I think you may as well tell him how you reach orgasm. He needs some idea what the sequence is and being shy about telling him won'... (read in full...)
I've never had an orgasm with my boyfriend and I cant keep faking it forever!
Q. Hey there ladies and gents. I am completely in love with my boyfriend. I'm 18, he's now 20. We've been dating for almost 2 years now. Physically he is very handsome, tall, and somewhat fit. Emotionally he is super sweet, a little sarcastic, loving, ...
A. 14 June 2012: "Sweetheart, I've given you some really important tips for me to enjoy lovemaking. I'm wondering why you aren't doing them. Is there some reason I should know about?"... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 13 June 2012: I guess that's a good question to sit and think about. Maybe try not thinking about it so much and just try some meditation and perhaps it will become clearer to you.... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 12 June 2012: All you can do is wait and see what happens. If you are concerned about your own involvement in the case, consult with a solicitor. In fact, the solicitor would likely be able to give you a much clearer view of what may happen in the case. If it is ... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 11 June 2012: I don't know. I expect they will do what they can to get the trafficked women some help.... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 11 June 2012: I think one of life's lessons that is so difficult to accept is that we don't always know the outcome to everyone's story. I think perhaps this would be a good time to figure out how to live with uncertainty, with not knowing. It's okay.
If you are ... (read in full...)
I've never had an orgasm with my boyfriend and I cant keep faking it forever!
Q. Hey there ladies and gents. I am completely in love with my boyfriend. I'm 18, he's now 20. We've been dating for almost 2 years now. Physically he is very handsome, tall, and somewhat fit. Emotionally he is super sweet, a little sarcastic, loving, ...
A. 11 June 2012: He's not lacking. He doesn't know what you want. As you don't know what you want, how is he supposed to figure it out? You need to spend some time, alone with yourself, exploring what works for you. Use a vibrator, lubrication, whatever will help ... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 11 June 2012: I'm upset by it too, and I don't even know the girl. It's an upsetting and awful situation. Your reaction is natural. Try to take comfort in the fact that you've taken positive action that may help her in life, and may help others from being caught ... (read in full...)
After seeing her ex, she called me his name during sex and now I'm very upset
Q. Ok... hopefully i can get some good advice on this and not people making fun. I have been seeing the most lovely girl for the past few months. Before she was with me, she was in a 4 year relationship with the most awful guy - he hit her, put her...
A. 11 June 2012: She didn't say his name to be mean or because she wants to be with him; he was a big part of her life for a while and it's just a verbal habit. You could be Prince Charming and the nicest guy on the planet and that won't erase that fact. It's okay, ... (read in full...)
Should I get revenge? He went out with me then all of my mates!
Q. hey i got dumped a few days ago and this guy really broke my heart he went out with me 3 times then dumped me and went out with all my mates what shall i do shall i get revenge on him or leave it? please help!!!!!!!!!!!! ...
A. 9 June 2012: If you try to get revenge on him, all you will do is make his ego even larger. He'll think he's the center of your world. Is that really what you want him to think?... (read in full...)
B/f has domestic charges and child endagerment against him. Should I be concerned?
Q. I have a new boyfriend that I have been dating for a few months now. He's really nice to me and treats me well. He recently told me that he has a domestic violence conviction. He tells me it was a male roommate who he got into a fight with. After he ...
A. 8 June 2012: I think the fact that this man is a heavy drinker will lead to future problems for you. A truly healthy man wouldn't feel the need to have lots and lots of beers, add in the weird conviction and I think that's enough of a red flag to decide to walk ... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 8 June 2012: You've filled in the form, now cut contact. For your own safety, it's best to create as little drama as possible and just be forgotten now, okay?
Please do be more cautious in the future and avoid escorts or prostitutes, those words are basi... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 8 June 2012: Try calling Crimestoppers and then the police. I sincerely doubt the madam would be able to track you, did you send any of them an email?... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 7 June 2012: I expect they see you as a target. They are probably trying to find a way to extract money from you.
Whatever you do, cut contact with her. If you want to try to help her, let the police know you are concerned she's been trafficked or is being held... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 6 June 2012: I think this is a lonely and vulnerable man who was looking for companionship and finds himself in a situation beyond his comprehension.
Poster, I would end contact with this woman and I would recommend having a chat with the local police. She need... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 6 June 2012: Isn't this the one who wanted you to sign some papers, and who doesn't speak English?... (read in full...)
I don't want to go on a family vacation
Q. my husband's family (parents, brothers, sisters) are going on a family vacation. For weeks during discussions, we decided on Hawaiian cruise or similar. They had me email cruise info and contact our employment to get off work. Instead, without ...
A. 6 June 2012: "What an intriguing place for a family vacation! I'm sure you all will have a great time getting back on skis and enjoying the snow and cold weather. Alas, as we have no appropriate clothing and an infant who can't be exposed to such cold ... (read in full...)
How can I keep it a secret if I get involved with a married man?
Q. I posted a question earlier about a relationship with an older man who is married with children. I thought he was flirting with me and it turns out he was. We met to talk about the project we're both involved in and he drove me home (again!). I...
A. 5 June 2012: To help this work, you will need to learn how to lie convincingly, keep a straight face and hide your feelings. You will need to learn to ignore it when people in the office whisper and giggle while they are clearly discussing you and your married ... (read in full...)
When is a good time to start doing things like going and hanging out with friend, activating my Facebook again?
Q. Hello .. Well my boyfriend has broken up with me,and this isn't the first time it's happened. He said he couldn't trust me,i've never cheated or lied but he has and he thought i would try to get back at him for it,but i wouldn't have done anythi...
A. 30 May 2012: Today is a good day to start reconnecting with friends. Start up the Facebook page and set your privacy settings high, so he cannot harass you. Make a phone call or two, send an email or two, text a friend.
You are no longer a prisoner of this guy'... (read in full...)
Online friend devastated that I had boyfriend. He doesn't believe that I care for him but I do. What should I do?
Q. I have been talking to someone for four years from India. He is younger than me and we talked everyday all day and night. Recently I told him about a guy I was dating here. Now he has totally lost his mind. He tried to kill himself and his friend is ...
A. 30 May 2012: If he's tried to kill himself, he needs to be in treatment and shouldn't be contacting you at this point. His mental health is too fragile.
I agree with SVC that the 'friend' is your online friend playing a role.
What you are experiencing is emoti... (read in full...)
What did my boss at the restaurant mean when he said "Clean the shaft too"? Was he hitting on me?
Q. Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I think my boss was coming on to me a couple of days ago. I work at a restaurant. I'm still kind of new to the place, only a few months in. I was cleaning near the latte machine and one of the spoons was dirty...
A. 30 May 2012: One incident could be a misunderstanding. Two is suspicious and three would be time to talk to HR.
Look for a pattern and if you want to keep the job, maintain a distance. Write down any incidents in case this gets to be a problem and you need to h... (read in full...)
Subtle ways needed. Is there a way of bringing him round to my wish for slow lovemaking?
Q. I am very happy in my relationship. My partner and I enjoy our time together and have regular sex. But the problem is, it's always hard, fast sex, if you know what I mean! It's good and he drives me wild but sometimes I just want to 'make love' as...
A. 30 May 2012: Just stop him the next time he grabs your hips, and say, 'oh, no, dear, it's MY turn to set the pace. I want to go more slowly right now. We have all the time in the world, so let's take it nice and SLOWLY....." smile brilliantly, give him some ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become even more controlling
Q. Hi all,Please help. I;m worried. MY BF has been very controlling for the last 14 months. I do not live with him, and have started getting back to my normal self, eg: feeling ok and dressing better, and getting my life back. I am trying to detach. ...
A. 25 May 2012: He is acting bizarrely. Based on your post, the best advice i can offer is BE CAREUFL! Be safe! Please consider moving until you know for certain he wil no longer bother you.
Sorry for being such a pessimist but.... this doesn't sound good. L(... (read in full...)
I cant stand my boyfriend's friends who are uneducated, beer-drinking, rowdy pub guys
Q. I am a very open minded person, however my boyfriends friends are uneducated, beer-drinking, rowdy pub guys. That i can deal with as they're all decent enough people who I can see for my boyfriends sake. However his 2 closest friends are anot...
A. 25 May 2012: If he's not hanging around with them any more, there's no problem, right? The question could be titled "I don't want to be associated with his friends who are druggies, criminals and gang members." If these are his two closest friends, well th... (read in full...)
I've been corresponding with a well known porn star
Q. Hey all! I've been in touch with a rather well-known porn star as of late via email. She heard one of my latest mixes I posted on twitter, emailed my friend about how to get in touch with me, and she told me she really liked what I did so she off...
A. 25 May 2012: Here are the potential options:
She's trying to network and her staff are managing her communications.
She's not actually a porn star but is pretending to be and has been waiting for a guy like you and messages guys like you to enhance her chances ... (read in full...)
Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis if size doesn't matter?
Q. Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis (like bigger than they've ever had before) if size doesn't matter? Why did men evolve big penises (length and girth) compared to other primates if size doesn't matter?...
A. 25 May 2012: I think this is one of those questions where the poster has a certain expectation, a bias, a fear, an insecurity.
Let me ask the poster: do you have a girlfriend?
Are you allowing the fears apparent in your questions to keep you from enjoying... (read in full...)
Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis if size doesn't matter?
Q. Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis (like bigger than they've ever had before) if size doesn't matter? Why did men evolve big penises (length and girth) compared to other primates if size doesn't matter?...
A. 25 May 2012: Gosh, the women I know aren't trying to have sex with larger penis! Maybe you are hanging with a different crowd?
As for your your other question, maybe you'd have to ask the other primates? Do we have an evolutionary continuum to discuss?
... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off/negative thing for a male to be a virgin?
Q. Hello. Is there a limit on how long you should be a virgin? I'm a male, turning later this year. I've never had intercourse before! What worries me is if that will put off a potential partner down the road? I'm not sure if that's a negative ...
A. 25 May 2012: Hello. Is there a limit on how long you should be a virgin?
*Nope!
I'm a male, turning later this year.
* Turning what, female? Older? More male?
I've never had intercourse before!
*You are not alone!
What worries me is if that will p... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex anymore with my boyfriend!
Q. i have been with my partner for over 3 years. basicly on and off. ive noticed that i dont want to have sex with him, i dont get in the mood. while on the other hand hes always on me wanting to have sex. when he kisses me and caress me it doesnt ...
A. 25 May 2012: "I feel pressured"
"I'm scared to speak up"
There's nothing wrong with you.
You just need to be able to tell him what you are feeling. Do you feel safe enough to do so?... (read in full...)
How can a dildo be more pleasureable than real sex?
Q. hello member of dearcupid i wanted to ask a question which is so much important for me ...hmm and i think for others too. so here it goes..i've had read on many magazines that only some woman reach orgasm during intercourse without another stimulat...
A. 25 May 2012: Are you confusing a dildo with a vibrator? A dildo would be a penis-shaped device, a vibrator would be a device that provide vibrational stimulation. Perhaps these links will help:
http://men.webmd.com/mens-sexual-fears-8/sex-fact-fiction
http:... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 25 May 2012: So, to sum up, you're angry with your wife because she had sex with guys in her youth, and you can't find any brothels for women? But you're fine with yourself because you had sex with girls in your youth and there are brothels for men? Is that ... (read in full...)
How can a woman cure her fishy odor?
Q. I feel helpless, I am very clean, and been to my doctors and she tested me. every thing can back normal, no infections. My boyfriend has stop having sex with me, because he say i smell fishy real bad, when he pre-cums, and cums. he even gag's. He ...
A. 24 May 2012: Thank you for your followup. I think I have to agree with the anon who said that dating a heavy drinker is a bad idea. You're already not having sex, he's insulting your body odor and he's making a joke out of it. I don't think this will get better, ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him, but I don't want to get him into trouble ...
Q. I'm 17 and I have recently fallen for a man who is really lovely, a complete gentleman and who wouldn't force me into anything I wouldn't want to do. Great right? Yeah...but he's 27. 10 years older than me. But I feel completely comfortable and at ...
A. 24 May 2012: Be cautious for now. What kind of work experience was it, out of curiosity? You've spent an afternoon kissing, he's working up to more. What more do you know about him? Have you talked about his family and friends? Have your family and friends met ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 24 May 2012: I think Cerberus summed it up nicely. Good thing you now know he's a liar and willing to deceive those around him. Why do people do that? I believe some people think with their genitalia. He must fall into that category. I think some people feel the ... (read in full...)
Is this fair?
Q. I know this not a relationship question, but I just want to know if I'm being treated unfairly. So my dad passed away not too long ago and I had to live with somebody else now, she took custody of me. She applied for a benefit so I can' get stuff ...
A. 24 May 2012: Here's izzygurl's back story: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-want-my-dad-to-die-hes.html
And she had another situation back in November which we still don't know what happened: http... (read in full...)
I saw my crush holding hands with another girl!
Q. Omg...I just saw my crush and another girl, they were holding hands, I can't control my anger or whatever I'm feeling. But I have a boyfriend I don't Like him as much as I like my crush. But He's ok though. help I don't know what to do, I though...
A. 24 May 2012: Just a month ago? That's very sad to hear. Grief and mourning take some time to go through. Perhaps focusing on that now would be a better thing for you.
Did you ever resolve the other question? The aunts took some time trying to help you ther... (read in full...)
I saw my crush holding hands with another girl!
Q. Omg...I just saw my crush and another girl, they were holding hands, I can't control my anger or whatever I'm feeling. But I have a boyfriend I don't Like him as much as I like my crush. But He's ok though. help I don't know what to do, I though...
A. 23 May 2012: How is your dad? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-want-my-dad-to-die-hes.html
And please follow up on this very sad question you posed: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-my-new-facebook-friend-be-trusted-should.html
... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as real love?
Q. Is there such a thing as real love? Or do guys just want the best girl they can convince to be with them at the time? Looking at the fwb scenario, or even guys who take a girlfriend out of convenience because she is nice to him, but who has no ...
A. 23 May 2012: Don't give up hope. There are many men out there who are looking for the same thing you are. Really, they are out there. If you spend too much time reading the British tabloids, you may not ever believe it, but they are there.
... (read in full...)
Is my jealousy valid over this girl?
Q. I think my boyfriend may like his female friend (FF) He's known her about 6-12 months before me, but never really saw her face to face, until he went to school. He met her in school about 1 month, before meeting me. Here's what he's done: ...
A. 23 May 2012: "Hey, boyfriend, since you've proposed to me, I need to understand what this girl is to you. *read pertinent points you've made here*
"I am not feeling good about this and I would prefer that you stop communicating with her. Especially as she is p... (read in full...)
I saw my crush holding hands with another girl!
Q. Omg...I just saw my crush and another girl, they were holding hands, I can't control my anger or whatever I'm feeling. But I have a boyfriend I don't Like him as much as I like my crush. But He's ok though. help I don't know what to do, I though...
A. 23 May 2012: If you are with the wrong guy, the right guy will pass you right by. Sounds like that might be the case here.... (read in full...)
Do I explain to my ex why I deleted him from my facebook?
Q. This is a long story, I will try to condense it... Split with my ex in December. We were together almost 4 years. In that time we were long distance 50% of the time due to me being in Uni. I visited him every holiday. He visited me once, begrudgi...
A. 22 May 2012: You do not need to reply to him. I promise that we won't report you to the break up etiquette police. I'm totally with CindyCares on this one. She's summed him right up, tied him in a neat little package and dropped him back at the post office, ... (read in full...)
Is the guy interested in me?
Q. Hi, I have not seen this guy for 8 years. We ran into each other on a train. He looks cute to me and he gave me this compliment when he saw me at the beginning "you look pretty, where are you heading?". We chatted on the train ride and exchange ...
A. 21 May 2012: If he wasn't interested, would he spend time trying to set up the next date? Relax, and enjoy the courtship! I hope it all works out!... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 21 May 2012: It would really be helpful to see all those posts you reference, could you provide links? Thanks!... (read in full...)
How do I tell this depressed man that the relationship is over and has been over?
Q. I happen to be in a happy, committed relationship with a really nice man. No problems there. The problem is that I used to be in an LDR with a man about two years ago. After we met, I realised that we weren't compatible and that there was no way it ...
A. 21 May 2012: "In the real world, no contact from you for a year means that the relationship as it was is over. Seek professional help you can't comprehend that basic fact. I would use the word 'ridiculous' but I don't want to cause you to do any self-harm. ... (read in full...)
I saw my crush holding hands with another girl!
Q. Omg...I just saw my crush and another girl, they were holding hands, I can't control my anger or whatever I'm feeling. But I have a boyfriend I don't Like him as much as I like my crush. But He's ok though. help I don't know what to do, I though...
A. 21 May 2012: Izzy, how old are you really?
If you aren't really entranced and swooning over your boyfriend, the best thing to do is to let him go. Otherwise Mr. Crush will assume you are taken. Which you are.
Let the boyfriend go. Mr. Crush can't like you... (read in full...)
Will flowers win back my teenage, but legal ex-girlfriend?
Q. Hello everyone. Tricky and possibly a bit of a controversial situation here. Keeping it as short as possible. I love my ex girlfriend, Im 24, shes 15 (age of consent in Sweden = 15 so relax). Anyways she broke up with me almost 2 months ago, as she ...
A. 21 May 2012: I'm not making fun of you. But you are the adult here and all you have in your question is what sounds like children's' arguments:
*I want her to be happy with me
*I want her to love me again.
*I can't let go of her, maybe its a psychologica... (read in full...)
How can a woman cure her fishy odor?
Q. I feel helpless, I am very clean, and been to my doctors and she tested me. every thing can back normal, no infections. My boyfriend has stop having sex with me, because he say i smell fishy real bad, when he pre-cums, and cums. he even gag's. He ...
A. 21 May 2012: Wait. Your doctor said he has a lot of yeast in his semen? Was she saying HE has an infection that is then transferred to you?
Have you noticed that you smell 'fishy' or was this something only he detected?... (read in full...)
How do I tell this depressed man that the relationship is over and has been over?
Q. I happen to be in a happy, committed relationship with a really nice man. No problems there. The problem is that I used to be in an LDR with a man about two years ago. After we met, I realised that we weren't compatible and that there was no way it ...
A. 20 May 2012: He's trying emotional blackmail.
It's not your job to fix him by being in a relationship with him.
Just say, "Alas, Alan, I have to decline your offer to start up our old relationship. I have moved on. I wish you well, and I hope you get the medi... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him, but I don't want to get him into trouble ...
Q. I'm 17 and I have recently fallen for a man who is really lovely, a complete gentleman and who wouldn't force me into anything I wouldn't want to do. Great right? Yeah...but he's 27. 10 years older than me. But I feel completely comfortable and at ...
A. 20 May 2012: I'm sorry, you've already reached the stage where you are saying "he's a complete gentleman... who won't force me into anything I wouldn't want to do"? Hello? Translation to your parents: I've met a guy who's older than me and is gentling me along ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 18 May 2012: Ahhh, okay, sorry, I thought it was a bit overly dramatic, I apologize that I didn't recognize it was a joke. I guess the issue is resolved and perhaps you have learned a bit more about yourself? I wish you well, and safe travels!... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 18 May 2012: The number is not zero before you but it's also not in the 50 scale. It averages out to one guy every 6 months. One of the things teenagers do is make dubious choices. I think those poor choices are often helped along by alcohol. Teens are ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 17 May 2012: Sounds like a lot of drama going on in their lives. Perhaps he chose her because some part of him recognized she liked to sneak around too? As you said in your original post, you've never been monogamous and open relationships make perfect sense. So ... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 17 May 2012: I agree with Cerberus.
I guess the easy way out of a moral dilemma is to ignore one's previously stated principles. Just bypass 'em. Easy peasy.... (read in full...)
Is it up to me to keep his morals in check?
Q. Hey! I am predominantly lesbian, and slept with my first man last year at the age of 27. I didn't have any sort of romantic interest in him, it was just a lust thing. Anyway, he's okay, and we became sort of friends-with-benefits - hard, because ...
A. 16 May 2012: Doesn't the term "open relationship" imply that all parties are aware that there are more sexual partners than just the two? So if this guy isn't disclosing his other sexual partners to her, then he's cheating on her.
I think that now that you know... (read in full...)
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