A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend (let's call her Lily) and I have been joined at the hip since we were four. Now, eleven years later, I feel like I'm being replaced by someone(Sophie) who is constantly treating me like an idiot.Sophie has been in our friendship group for almost four years, and we've always clashed. Don't get me wrong, I do like her when she's being nice, but she often takes the mickey out of me. I'll admit I am a ditz, nor am I a football worshipper, and I do mishear things a lot, but whenever I ask who a footballer is, or what someone said because it sounded like it didn't make sense, she will make snide comments about it. Now, since Lily and her have so many lessons together, she and Sophie are constantly laughing at private jokes and holding hands and hugging and I feel left out. What makes it worse is that Sophie is always counting how many texts she and Lily exchange each night, while Lily and I barely exchange anything.I have tried to talk to Lily about it, but she has just brushed it off as me being 'hormonal' and 'paranoid'. Maybe I am being, but I do feel like I am being replaced.I'm sorry for the rant, but it's the first time I've got it off my chest!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Ah, sweetie, this happens in life. Friendships change and at your age, they can alter in very big ways in a short time. Please do yourself a huge favor and cultivate some new friends, give Lily plenty of space. She's made a new best friend and it hurts not to be in that little clique of two, I know exactly how bad that feels. I'm sorry it appears to be an almost necessary part of growing up but there it is. It hurts and it's not nice but it happens all the time.
Give Lily all the space she seems to want and maybe she'll notice you aren't at her beck and call any more and will reach out back to you. In the meantime, you are out spending time with other friends and planning fun outings and activities with them, okay? Be busy and connect with other people.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, MrWombat  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", as the old saying goes. The football thing - sounds like you just plain don't share their interests. You and they are not 11 anymore, and what brought you together as 11-year-olds might not be enough anymore.
Find a hobby. Find some social things to do that doesn't involve those people. If you split, try to do it amicably. Or maybe you will stay great friends, but have a quirky extra in your life, and that's cool.
Don't hang your happiness on what another person feels or does. Bad for you, and bad for them, too.
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