Like what
she writes?
... Add *isha-1 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *isha-1 a private message | | | *isha-1's profile:Hi there!
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
|
| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
|
My boyfriend has a pee fetish but now comes up with excuses when I offer to indulge it!
Q. Hi everyone! So my bf and I have been together for almost two years were both in our early 20s. My boyfriend recently told me he has a pee fetish, he basically likes watching porn where girls pee in random places or in public. Recently I noticed ...
A. 21 January 2014: Does crying mean he can't handle a discussion after he's stopped crying? I know I have cried when I was upset but after I got over the initial sadness/anger/hurt then I was ready to discuss whatever was really bothering my partner.
And not to put ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a pee fetish but now comes up with excuses when I offer to indulge it!
Q. Hi everyone! So my bf and I have been together for almost two years were both in our early 20s. My boyfriend recently told me he has a pee fetish, he basically likes watching porn where girls pee in random places or in public. Recently I noticed ...
A. 21 January 2014: If you never tell him that you aren't sexually satisfied, then you are faking it. How long is this a viable option? And is it really fair to him that he isn't getting your honest feedback.
Is he some sort of gazelle that is easily scared and frig... (read in full...)
Self esteem in women:is it biological, is it cultural, is it our upbringing, ,... is it a jinx ?!
Q. DC community, please help me out in figuring this : why is it that lack of self esteem , at least in relationships, is such a pervasive FEMALE problem ? I mean, just look at the posts on DC and a huuuge quantity of them basically says ...
A. 17 January 2014: I found this interesting article when I was trying to find the one that discussed how girls suddenly lose self-confidence at around the 5th grad mark. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201101/the-trouble-bright-girls
Key poin... (read in full...)
Self esteem in women:is it biological, is it cultural, is it our upbringing, ,... is it a jinx ?!
Q. DC community, please help me out in figuring this : why is it that lack of self esteem , at least in relationships, is such a pervasive FEMALE problem ? I mean, just look at the posts on DC and a huuuge quantity of them basically says ...
A. 17 January 2014: I was just talking to someone today about a golf club she was considering joining. The "gentlemen" and I use the term with an extreme eye roll and bit of vomit in my mouth, the "gentlemen" there refer to the golf members who happen to be women as ... (read in full...)
Self esteem in women:is it biological, is it cultural, is it our upbringing, ,... is it a jinx ?!
Q. DC community, please help me out in figuring this : why is it that lack of self esteem , at least in relationships, is such a pervasive FEMALE problem ? I mean, just look at the posts on DC and a huuuge quantity of them basically says ...
A. 16 January 2014: Cindy, I read this question and wanted to respond and just didn't have time today.
I think there is something that happens when girls hit puberty. There are so many bright girls who when they hit puberty and then face middle school and high scho... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable with my home?
Q. I am a female sharing my house with two other females. One of them is like a mouse, she is very quiet and rarely comes out of her room. She has her boyfriend practically living with us but I don't mind because they mostly stay in her room. The other ...
A. 16 January 2014: I think it's time that you and your roommates, your tenants actually, sit down and have a house meeting to discuss what is and is not appropriate in the home. It's going to be tough, but I'm sure you can do it. Good luck!... (read in full...)
Is she controlling him or could it be I did something wrong to end our friendship?
Q. Hi wondered if you could help me make sense of this weird situations. I have been friends with a guy for roughly 6 years, used to be very close but drifted apart after a fall out. The fallout was because after he got with his new gf he told me he ...
A. 16 January 2014: You ask an either/or question, "could I have done something wrong, or is it her controlling him?" I think the question you should be asking his "Why and I tolerating a half-assed, hidden friendship with an ex who has merrily chosen a woman whose ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a pee fetish but now comes up with excuses when I offer to indulge it!
Q. Hi everyone! So my bf and I have been together for almost two years were both in our early 20s. My boyfriend recently told me he has a pee fetish, he basically likes watching porn where girls pee in random places or in public. Recently I noticed ...
A. 16 January 2014: I expect the pee fetish has to do with being 'naughty' and feeling like he's getting away with something. Having you be a willing partner probably took a lot of that taboo feeling away and made it uninteresting in real life.
The porn use and heav... (read in full...)
Potential boyfriend is demanding to know my past, and then comments negatively!
Q. I've been talking to a guy that I met through a dating website for almost 3 months now. We live across the country so we haven't met yet but we text all day and skype pretty regularly. For the most part, things are pretty good with him and I feel ...
A. 16 January 2014: Lots of red flags with this guy. He clearly has a bad case of retroactive jealousy and has chosen you to be his emotional punching bag.
I think it's reasonable to ask if someone has been intimate with other people. When you start demanding spec... (read in full...)
Is anyone staying in a relationship because the economy is so bad right now?
Q. I was just wondering if there are people in relationships that are staying in them purely because the economy in the US is in the tank right now. I know my cousin is. She can't stand her husband but she said she would be suffering financially if ...
A. 16 January 2014: No one I know is planning to marry to get health insurance
There are couples I know who are troubled and may wind up splitting up. I can't guess why they stay together or why they break up. One couple I know split up because he cheated on her emot... (read in full...)
I never slept with anyone or did anything more than kissing, I want to move in with my boyfriend but the past is haunting me!
Q. Hi there I am tormented. Sorry if this is long but i want to explain everything. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. In the beginning things weren't good. We argued A LOT. He played computer games and neglected me or would leave me...
A. 16 January 2014: "He is a lot less selfish."
That's the best you have?
He is a lot less selfish.
Let's run the list now:
In the beginning things weren't good.
We argued A LOT.
He played computer games and neglected me
[he} would leave me for his friends whe... (read in full...)
I'd like to meet and start dating someone but my circumstances make it difficult!
Q. I'm 28, from the North Midlands in the United Kingdom, disabled (but not physically) and bisexual, don't mention it to many people, it doesnt define me, it's not obvious to most people. (for both things, disability and bisexual). I'm mainly ...
A. 16 January 2014: It sounds to me like you've perfectly engineered your life to avoid meeting anyone.
When you are really ready to start dating, then maybe you will make other choices about where you life and where you work.
Until then, you are exactly where yo... (read in full...)
My mother does not approve of my girlfriend!
Q. I am 25 year old male and I have a girlfriend who is 23 and has a 2 years old boy. My mother has huge hate against her and I need you guys to help me solve the problem... I went to Japan for 3 months and I met a girl(Half Filipina, Quarte...
A. 16 January 2014: Hi Edger, how much time have you spent with R in real life? Not via chat or email or other virtual ways… I mean specifically spending time in person with her in real life.
How much time have you spent in real life with R's son?
Thank you.... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable with my home?
Q. I am a female sharing my house with two other females. One of them is like a mouse, she is very quiet and rarely comes out of her room. She has her boyfriend practically living with us but I don't mind because they mostly stay in her room. The other ...
A. 16 January 2014: I guess I would ask f you are very particular and anal and concerned etc about your house, why didn't you specify the restrictions?
I understand not wanting unpleasant roommates but you need to deal with it before they move in.
If you are a ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable with my home?
Q. I am a female sharing my house with two other females. One of them is like a mouse, she is very quiet and rarely comes out of her room. She has her boyfriend practically living with us but I don't mind because they mostly stay in her room. The other ...
A. 16 January 2014: What did the lease you wrote for them say?... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to adopt a child, am I selfish to object?
Q. My girlfriend of about three years and I have a great relationship. We both have younger children from past marriages so we have agreed we will not live together at least until the children are grown. Neither of us is interested in remarrying, at ...
A. 15 January 2014: You know, many people successfully remarry after divorce, with children. It's not unheard of, it's not weird, it can work if the parties involved work on it.
The rationale not to live together until the children are grown seems to be arti... (read in full...)
Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.
Q. I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...
A. 15 January 2014: For some reason, this post reminds of what I went through when I learned my dog was too ill to save. I was convinced that the condition he had was manageable and that he would last for a while.
It wasn't until I was face to face with the vete... (read in full...)
Do the good guys always finish without love?
Q. Hello, in the last two years I have been in two relationships, both were divorced, one 8 months, the other 9 years, I was both their first guy since being single. They both lasted two months,they both said the same thing about their exs, they were ...
A. 15 January 2014: I think you are selecting women who are abuse victims… I don't know why, I would venture to say it would be a very good idea to find out why you want to play the knight in shining armor to these sadly damaged and hurt women and why it is you stick ... (read in full...)
Why on earth do women agree to an FWB situation?
Q. After reading so many posts here and seeing what girls and women do around me, I have a question, why on Earth women agree to FWB situation?? I understand if casual sex just happens once, in a heat of a moment, once very rarely and it's not a no...
A. 15 January 2014: "why women agree to this humiliating and bringing no satisfaction "relationship"??
Playing the other side's advocate here, maybe she enjoys some nice blood-pressure lowering and satisfying
orgasms with a guy she trusts?
Maybe she wants someon... (read in full...)
I find my boyfriend's dry humping annoying. How do I deal with this without offending him or putting him off?
Q. This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and ...
A. 14 January 2014: Did you see my link? Is this the same boyfriend or a different one?
... (read in full...)
My weight gain has put him off sex!
Q. Hi, I've been seeing my bf for the last 3.5 years, but our sex life has been non existent for the last 2.5 years. I have had lots of reasons why which I always doubted but because we do love each other and get along so well that I accepted that we ...
A. 14 January 2014: I'd turn him from boyfriend into ex-boyfriend, carry on with the healthy lifestyle and choices and merrily go on my way.
He obviously has other issues and isn't being honest. If he can't be honest after this amount of time, he never will be. Ther... (read in full...)
My mother and I cannot afford health insurance and we're losing hope
Q. Hi everyone, this is not a relationship issue but rather an issue within myself. I'm 19, going to school full time and work a part time retail job. I live with just my mom and a few wonderful animals. We are really, really broke to the point where ...
A. 14 January 2014: You Wish brings up an excellent point. I had my wisdom teeth removed for virtually nothing at a dental school by a dental student. The professor was right there and I was all numbed up and relaxed with the right medications, so it was not horrifying ... (read in full...)
Our relationship has an expiration date!
Q. I feel like this relationship is for nothing. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half. She goes to the junior community college and I go to the state school. Her major isn't offered at my school so she is going to transfer ...
A. 14 January 2014: Wow, she gave you a 7 month heads up that you two are going to break up when she moves to school? I think your feeling if that's her mindset you should just break up with her may be the right tack.
I mean, how is this going to go? Every week take... (read in full...)
Should I stick around for him or bail out?
Q. i met this new guy over the christmas period at the lake. xmas day to be precise. his name is John (not real name). we started off very well.we met by the beach.i had a little problem with my car and it just happened that i mentioned about it in ...
A. 14 January 2014: A guy who is going through a divorce is a guy in a lot of turmoil. I personally would take a big step back, let him go through what he needs to go through, especially as he has said out loud that he can't offer you much now.
Basically, he's goin... (read in full...)
His two best friends havent reacted to his FB post about us being engaged!
Q. My Fiance proposed to me 2 weeks ago. We were away at the time so he put it on facebook. Most of his friends wrote a message or called him but his 2 BEST friends of 30 + years who he's travelled the world with etc are still yet to contact him. I ...
A. 14 January 2014: Maybe they were waiting for him to call them with his news? That was how it was done in the Dark Ages Before Facebook Took Over The World. Not everyone is on FB and of those who are, they aren't on it every day.
Assuming they are on FB ever... (read in full...)
I find my boyfriend's dry humping annoying. How do I deal with this without offending him or putting him off?
Q. This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and ...
A. 14 January 2014: "Babe, you are the sexiest most awesome wonderful man I have ever known. I love that you find me sexy too. The thing that is really bothering me is this humping thing you have going. I love it when you stroke my hair and woo me with --x y and z---. ... (read in full...)
He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 14 January 2014: Happy to hear you are away from the sadist! I hope you are enjoying a healthy and happy relationship with the new love. I do hope you worked out why you tolerated this heinous behavior and that you won't find yourself being victimized ever again! ... (read in full...)
Should I contribute more than my boyfriend's room mate?
Q. I am going to move in with my bf in a few months. We decided this long before he started having financial issues (furlough, medical bills, car accident), but now they have surfaced and I don't know what to do. He currently owns his home and ren...
A. 14 January 2014: Did you read any of the replies that people gave? There were more than a few questions:
"Your BF needs to figure out how to make it work with what you and the room mate bring to the table $900. If he can't isn't it a little unrealistic of him to h... (read in full...)
I'm not feeling too good after hearing about my girlfriend's sexual fantasies!
Q. Me and my girlfriend were talking about sexual desires and she told me she always wanted to make out with a black guy. Which is ok and I understand because I have sometimes fantasies about asian women. But then we talked about it a bit more and she ...
A. 14 January 2014: What to do with these feelings? Let them go….. smile, breathe, relax
…and don't ever ask her about her fantasies again. You can't differentiate between fantasy and reality in this particular case, you assume she actually wants to do things she cons... (read in full...)
Stumbled across a message of my fiance questioning whether or not she should marry me!
Q. Hello agony aunts! I need some help with my fiancé and our upcoming marriage. This morning when I was getting ready or work I noticed her phone light up because she received a message I glanced at it and saw that it was her close friend who had ...
A. 13 January 2014: Hi there, I remembered a couple of posts from you earlier in which you were anxious about her commitment to you, first because of a medical issue which makes sex painful for her, and the next because you thought the honeymoon period was over.
Y... (read in full...)
I feel let down by my friend! Am I out of order?
Q. Hello, this may be quite a long question so please bare with me. My birthday is coming up, one of my plans for it was to go around town at the weekend of my birthday. Another was a surprise which my mum had planned for me which was a spa day the ...
A. 13 January 2014: I would ask another friend to enjoy the spa with you.
R needs to get over whatever she's got going on and you need to leave her alone for now. I personally would leave her alone for a looooonnnnng time.
Try not to make this birthday about R's choi... (read in full...)
I like this new guy I am talking to but my guy friend might be jealous
Q. Hello, I have a situation and I need some advice. I have been talking to this guy on and offline. He texts me everyday and we talk on the phone also. He is the nicest guy that I have spoken to in a long time. He does live far away and wants to come ...
A. 13 January 2014: You don't have to clear things with your friend if you want to go out on a date with someone. You are free, single, not committed to anyone, you may do as you like! Have fun!
One word of caution, you don't know this new interest yet, he lives far ... (read in full...)
Missing condoms have raised my suspicions
Q. Dating a great man for about one year and he is not ready to commit. He has been divorced for 5 years and is not ready for a serious relationship ( I know I know I'm stupid for staying loyal to him ) He is 34 and I am 31 I went to his house on Sat...
A. 13 January 2014: If you want a boyfriend, then leave him. He doesn't want a girlfriend. You are a sex partner for him.
I mean, come on, the man tries to have sex with you without a condom. Who is he thinking of there? Your well-being? No, he is thinking of Mr. Happ... (read in full...)
I like this new guy I am talking to but my guy friend might be jealous
Q. Hello, I have a situation and I need some advice. I have been talking to this guy on and offline. He texts me everyday and we talk on the phone also. He is the nicest guy that I have spoken to in a long time. He does live far away and wants to come ...
A. 13 January 2014: 'I really just wanted to see where I stood with him so that I could move forward."
-"he doesn't want to be exclusive' - 'He knows that I love him' -'He just answered, "We are friends."'
He's made it clear. He doesn't want to date you. You are frie... (read in full...)
Should I contribute more than my boyfriend's room mate?
Q. I am going to move in with my bf in a few months. We decided this long before he started having financial issues (furlough, medical bills, car accident), but now they have surfaced and I don't know what to do. He currently owns his home and ren...
A. 13 January 2014: Why doesn't he rent out his house and move in with you? It sounds a bit like you are expected to subsidize his mortgage and bills, just because you are a nice girlfriend. His circumstances have changed since you discussed the move in and so I'd say ... (read in full...)
My mother and I cannot afford health insurance and we're losing hope
Q. Hi everyone, this is not a relationship issue but rather an issue within myself. I'm 19, going to school full time and work a part time retail job. I live with just my mom and a few wonderful animals. We are really, really broke to the point where ...
A. 13 January 2014: I think dental falls into a slightly different category than medical care. We have excellent health care coverage and I don't get my dental for free or even very cheap. I expect you have many years of problems built up if you haven't been to the ... (read in full...)
Would you be ok with your girlfriend travelling abroad with friends?
Q. my gf and i have been in a ldr for almost two years and we are about to close the distance and move in together this year. first step before proposing ;) we asked different questions to each other to make sure we would exactly what we are getting ...
A. 13 January 2014: Does she go out and party with other people in some domestic place? Is this an ongoing issue for you two?... (read in full...)
We absolutely have the money for a wedding but I'm not sure its a good investment!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a wedding question. My fiance and I have waited almost three years to get engaged as I wanted to be able to afford the wedding I want as all little girls dream about their wedding. I am just not sure I can spend six thousand...
A. 11 January 2014: I didn't dream about my wedding. I didn't have a whole fantasy built up and I had a very nice and I think memorable wedding for a very comfortable cost. Pick your priorities. Do you want great music? Hire a fun band. Is it food you want to focus on? ... (read in full...)
My partners wild past is making me feel insecure....am I blowing it?
Q. My "girlfriend" is a couple years older then me and she has a wild past, relationship wise. My biggest problem is that I feel insecure about her behaviour, cause she still maintains contact to some of her fromer boyfriends and even to some f**...
A. 11 January 2014: You are not her boyfriend, you wrote: "For her it´s casual but I do have strong feelings for her and I don´t want her to have sexual intercourse with whomever....Recently she said that right now our sex is the best for her, of all her experiences so ... (read in full...)
How can I motivate my obese mother to look after herself?
Q. I could use your help. I'm very worried about my 65 year old mother and her weight. She has always been overweight but she has recently retired and is rapidly putting on more weight. She is probably about 8 stone overweight. I live abroad and j...
A. 10 January 2014: I wonder if she needs a better health work up, she sounds suspiciously like someone I knew, who later was diagnosed with Alzheimers. The weight gain and the mention of thyroid disease would suggest that perhaps the disease isn't being well managed ... (read in full...)
Things to brighten by boyfriend's day? I need lots of ideas!
Q. 1) Besides the regular "I love you", "I miss you".. what are some cute positive things I can text my boyfriend throughout the days to make him smile or possibly make his day a little brighter? 2) What are some cute, cheap but meaningful, thin...
A. 10 January 2014: Is his day really dismal? Or are you just hoping to connect with him throughout the day?... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 8 January 2014: All women deserve better than this abuse. Including his sister. He's a sad pathetic man.... (read in full...)
Fingering sometimes hurts.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's fingered me quite a bit. We're both virgins, so he was only inserting ome or two fingers at the most. About a week ago we tried three fingers but it was really sore so we stopped. I'm ...
A. 8 January 2014: Does it hurt when you insert a finger? Do you insert your finger or fingers? If you do, have you shown him how you do? If you don't, have you considered that you need some more time and help in this?
My guess is that he doesn't have a clue abou... (read in full...)
So what's next? Should I make a move, since he is a 36 year old shy guy who has never had a GF?
Q. My siblings are trying to match me with a guy they have known for sometime now. They swear he is a gentleman and is intellectual and respectful to everyone. He added me on fb upon learning about me and we began talking for a few months since I am ...
A. 8 January 2014: He's 36 and has never had a girlfriend. Does he have a social disability that is keeping him from asking girls out? My guess is yes.
You are asking if there is a way to know if he likes you. This is the classic question of teens, people in thei... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: The more I read about this boyfriend, the more I wonder why you are with him. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-could-my-boyfriend-not-know-if-he.html
I think he knows exactly what he is doing and that is molding you into accepting all his nons... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: Hi, I read a bit more about your boyfriend, this is the one who said he couldn't help himself if he was presented with the opportunity to cheat? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-thinks-any-man-will-be-led.html
So he can't control hims... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: P.S. Men (and women) dislike being "fixed" by people. Abusive men (and women) may react very badly when "fixing" is attempted by naive but well-meaning partners, friends and family.
I'm guessing his sister has tried to fix him. That's probably part... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: If he wanted to be 'fixed' he wouldn't hit his sister. Keep your distance from him, when he has proved that he is no longer violent toward anyone for a year, then you can decide if you would want him in your life.
He's a loser, sorry. Best for your... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: He hits his sister. He will hit you.
I hope for her sake she gets away from him as soon as possible.
You hit him on the shoulder once. He hits his sister often. He is the abuser, you are just starting out.
Don't go down this road.
End the relat... (read in full...)
He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 4 November 2011: Your guy is an ass. Pun entirely intended. I'd break up now and save yourself anal tearing and infection and the embarrassing conversations with the doctor later.
Or you could tear a page out of the Huichol tribe's book (mythical? who knows? it's... (read in full...)
| *isha-1's friends
These are mutual friends, so *isha-1 has
added them and they have added *isha-1!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
