A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's fingered me quite a bit. We're both virgins, so he was only inserting ome or two fingers at the most. About a week ago we tried three fingers but it was really sore so we stopped. I'm still really sore and my boyfriend feels terrible for hurting me. I've told him that it's not his fault but im wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to stop it hurting so much? Thank you.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 January 2014):
 Does it hurt when you insert a finger? Do you insert your finger or fingers? If you do, have you shown him how you do? If you don't, have you considered that you need some more time and help in this?
My guess is that he doesn't have a clue about your anatomy and is just blindly stabbing around with his fingers. I think a lot of guys think that the vagina is an inside-out version of the penis. They assume that what feels good outside on him will feel good inside of you.
Now, on the personal hygiene front, the teenage boys I've seen lately have pretty nasty looking fingernails and heaven knows what they have under their nails. They may douse themselves with "Axe" or "Old Spice" or whatever, but just masking odors doesn't mean that they are clean. I
Consider the trajectory of a normal teen boy's fingers. Nose, ears, chewing on a nail, phone, back to nose, armpit, crotch-scratching. Um. So.
Have you been to your doctor to make sure you are okay?
Here's a site that has loads of info on this: http://www.scarleteen.com
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 January 2014):
 Well for one STOP with inserting. It honestly don't do much for a vagina and certainly not much for a finger.
There is SO much more to your body to stimulate then the INSIDE of your vagina. You say he play with it til you are wet, well wet doesn't always mean READY. IT means aroused.
If he is trying to get you off he's got a FAR better chance of doing that by staying on your clitoris.
Also he can have a snagged nail which can cause small scratches inside your vagina, not very comfortable and it can cause an infection too, or not totally clean fingers which can again can cause an infection.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2014): Thanks, he does wait until I am wet though. And im always very wet. I know that fingering isn't just insertion and so does my boyfriend, he'll play with my clit until I'm wet then insert. It still hurts!! Any tips on how to stop it from hurting soo much? Or how to prevent or stop pain afterwards? Thank you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 January 2014):
YES to YOUWISH's post.
The FINGER doesn't replace a penis (which I think your BF believes) READ YOUWISH's post time YOU comprehend what "fingering" is and how it should be done or you are going to have guys do things you will not enjoy, not because they want to hurt you, but because they don't know any better.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 January 2014):
 I agree with the other poster, but wanted to add that you're still being a virgin, you should not be trying to insert 3. I also want to say that if this is happening often, you can get raw easy which will lead to irritation and pain. Taking a break from that 4 play might be what you need as well.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 January 2014):
 This one's easy! I figured out the problem when you said the word "inserting". Fingering isn't pretending his fingers are a penis. He needs instead to learn how to stimulate your clitoris, and wait to insert when you're good and wet, and then it's not like he's supposed to jackhammer you with the fingers, it's like an extended smooth, sensual massage focusing on your clitoris. It hurts because he's inexperienced and you don't know your body. Masturbation is key here, because you need to know how to bring yourself to orgasm with your fingers before teaching him. There are a lot of good books on the subject, and he needs to not even consider porn as a teacher, because all that finger ramming is just visual stimulation and not actual technique.
Also, he needs to wash his hands and get some KY to lubricate his fingers and help them glide better. Try that, don't do any inserting to start with, use KY and focus on the clitoris and surrounding area, and you'll have a lot more pleasure and a lot less discomfort. Tell him to slowly draw the alphabet in cursive...SLOWLY AND GENTLY on and around your clitoris before even considering inserting anything. Trust me.
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