A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I feel like this relationship is for nothing. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half. She goes to the junior community college and I go to the state school. Her major isn't offered at my school so she is going to transfer next year. She basically told me I can't be yours next year. That we don't like talk enough... I asked so basically you mean your going to sleep with others guys she said no but idk.. So basically I feel like love isn't love, at least our love isnt. I fell like everything I do now and for the next 7 or so months is for nothing. Like im going to fall more in love with you and then your going to leave... How is that love.? We knew getting Into this relationship she was going to have to transfer but I felt we were strong enough to do a long distance relationship.and in 7 months from now even be stronger..Soo I got my 7 month notice that I'll be single. I feel like if that's her mind set I should break up with her.. I don't know what to do.. I thought that we would talk about it more. But I guess it's no on a long distance relationship. I love her and she said she loves me and loves being with me but I really don't know what to do? I feel like she is using me and moving on from guy to guy.. Any help is much appreciated thank you!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 January 2014):
 If you are going to fall deeper in love it's going to hurt more when she walks.
I'd go cold turkey and end it now.. it will hurt more now.. but less in the long run.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2014): I was in a similar situation once.My partner's major was not offered in the country and we both knew had had to move at the end of the year. But we had the relationship anyway. It was beautiful. Every.Single.Moment.of.it. Despite us having a very firm deadline. The deadline came, we broke up officially for a few months but the heart wants what the heart wants and we did everything under the sun to work something out. We got back together and are living happily ever after.Moral of the story? Decide what you personally want from a relationship. Are you looking for 'happy now' or are you looking for 'happy forever'. You cannot force yourself to be happy thinking short term if your values are against it. In this case, you thank her for being honest but tell her that you'd rather not delay the heart ache and you'd rather start looking for someone else who is also thinking longterm.I'm a firm believer in setting them free. If they are yours they will come flying back ;-) If they don't then you were never that great a team.I do sympathise with you. It is a horrible feeling but ultimately, you will be fine. Just do what feels right to you; even if you can't pin point the reason but follow your gut.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 January 2014):
 I agree with Tish, I don't think you should live with a time bomb ticking away in the corner for the next 7 months. I would just tell her that since she doesn't want to try a long distance relationship, you've decided to cut bait and move on. Why postpone the heartache?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 January 2014):
 Wow, she gave you a 7 month heads up that you two are going to break up when she moves to school? I think your feeling if that's her mindset you should just break up with her may be the right tack.
I mean, how is this going to go? Every week takes you closer to the deadline and the break up… and that nurtures your relationship how, exactly? She doesn't want to do an LDR, she wants her options open at the new school when she goes.
I guess she was brave enough to be honest about it now, but not brave enough to just break it off herself then. She cares for you, but not enough to do an LDR.
You are way more invested in the relationship than she is.
You're both still young, maybe she's just not willing to say that you are Mr. Right forever and ever….
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