A
female
age
30-35,
*injal
writes:Hello friends please help me am confused am I in love if yes what do I do about it.so here goes my story. I met this guy two years ago we are classmates he is good looking.my friends feel he likes me I dnt know that.He acts weird in front of mecares alot for meHe always acts as my strongest support system.He stares me alot. I like these things about him but there are many things I dislike he is a smoker n smokes alot his anger is some thing I cannot manage he shows alot of possessiveness over me.There are situations where he completely misunderstands me.His nature is similar to my father's nature that makes me scared to get close to him. He dominates over me.As of now we are just friends or just classmates nothing more. The thing is if he ignores me does not talk to me or is angry with me I get upset I get hurt.I do not mind it when he is with other girls. I just get very concerned if he is upset or sick .I do keep checking his wassapp and facebook profiles though never chat with him.I miss him when we donot meet for many days.I have also got dreams of him some times yelling at me some times loving me of our marriage.My many friends feel am in love with him and others feel that its just significance of his friendship that bothers me.Am confused do I treat him as a friend or something more? Does he love me? What do I do next? please help me I dnt want to lose his friendship please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2014): Please, just take a step back and re-read this back to yourself... Think about someone you care for, you don't even have to love them, but someone who you think highly of- do you try and hurt that person, or make them feel small by shouting at them n trying to dominate them??
Just wanted to add that to the other excellent and wise advice that have already been given.
Also I came across this article on DC:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-you-can-tell-someone-loves-you.html
Take care, I wish you well and remember that someone that uses your emotions against you is SCREWED in the head, weak and N BAD NEWS for anyone... Keep away xx
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 April 2014):
 Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the most unattractive man that you know. Now imagine that he displays the same behaviors that this very handsome man does. Does this change the way you feel about him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2014): The boy is totally screwed up and what you need to do is get as far away from him as you can.
You've mentioned his temper, possessiveness, and other very negative traits that don't show any indication that boy cares anything about you. You're the one totally infatuated with him.
He sounds terrible.
He does not love you at all. He may boss you around and show jealousy. THAT IS NOT LOVE!!!
You are fascinated by his "bay-boy" ways!
At a very early age, you are already being attracted to a type that is a bad example of real manhood. You are going to have a very sad love-life; if he is the kind of guy you like. He is awful, even as a friend.
Here's my advice. Find yourself someone who acts more mature and will treat you nicely.
I am so sorry if your own father does not make you feel comfortable to be around him. He doesn't set the role-model for the type of man that would be good for you.
Then that is the kind of man you should avoid.
A man should respect you. Show you kindness and affection.
He should not get angry or jealous of you for having friends, boys or girls. He should never shout at you, or boss you around.
He should listen to and respect your opinions; and make you happy to see him. If he doesn't do these things, he's a "rotten dirt-bag," and a very bad choice for a boyfriend.
Just because a boy acts jealous or possessive of you doesn't mean he loves you. It means he owns you like a piece of property. Someone he can treat anyway he pleases.
They are nasty to women.
A man who thinks like that, will only treat you badly. That is not a guess, it is a fact. You already see that behavior in your friend.
It doesn't matter how a "rotten dirt-bag" feels about you, he will treat you badly. It doesn't matter if he knows you love him. He will still treat you badly. Being nice to him will not change him. To think so, is not smart at all! You'll find out "the hard way" that isn't smart. Trust me!
You'll grow up a miserable unhappy woman who lets men treat her poorly. That will destroy your self-esteem, and you will lose your self-respect. Women like that write DC all the time. I feel so very sorry for them. Their boyfriends and husbands mistreat and abuse them.
They foolishly claim to love them. Men like that don't deserve your love, and you cannot change them. When they find out how foolish you are, they only treat you worse.
Good strong women know well to stay away from them.
Leave that boy alone! Look for boys that only want to show you his good side, has maturity, good character, and will treat you well. Bad-boys seem like fun; but they treat good-girls like trash.
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