A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is he always complaining about money and his life? I'm tired:(So my boyfriend had to stop working because his visa expired and he has to wait till he gets his renewed one.He didn't save up while he was working so I've being supporting him financially.He's always moaning and complaining says he's frustrated about his life.I just spoke to him now and he says he has nothing to wear blah blah.I told him not to tell me all his problems cause I have problems too but I don't tell him none of them.I'm really tired. I can't buy the things I want and need cause I have to give him money. He says he won't ask his friends for help cause he won't feel comfortable.Why is he always complaining? I help him all the money I have. I'm so broke right now:(. I don't even feel like there's love anymore:(I'm 24 and he's 27
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 April 2014):
 Have you heard from him yet?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): OP, what exactly did you talk to him about? Your concerns as written here? If so, and he hasn't responded, I would sense that he is giving you the silent treatment so that you will forget the subject altogether and continue spoiling him. If he doesn't have a job, there's no reason as to why he hasn't responded since Sunday.
Have you given an ultimatum? Are you going to end the relationship if he continues this behavior? If he never responds, I would drop him or give the ultimatum if you haven't already. If he responds poorly to the ultimatum, drop him indefinitely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI spoke to him Sunday afternoon and is Tuesday and I haven't heard from him. He hasn't called or texted & I haven't contacted him either. Should I just ignore him?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2014):
 Fishy.
He does not need a visa to work in UK, he is a UE citizen !
And he does not need to renew his " carta d'identita' " ( Italian photo ID ) yearly ! It's valid TEN years ! ( 5 if you are under 18 ) .
He did not need to wait for it to expire to renew it, he could have applied for a new one before ( not sooner than 6 months before the expiry date ).
Also, if he registered himself with AIRE ( Register of Italian residents abroad ), he can get the new ID through the Italian Consulate there . But, since he does not sound like the prevident, well organized type, if he is not registered with AIRE and his official residence stil results in Italy ( i.e. if he never bothered to tell the anagraphic services of his town that now he resides in UK ) he would have to GO to his Italian hometown to renew his ID there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2014): Um. Are you posting from Britain and he's Italian? He doesn't NEED a visa to work in the UK.
He would still need to get his Italian identity card renewed (I expect) but not EVERY year. And he wouldn't have to stop work while it was renewed although it might affect his ability to get a NEW job
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe said it should be ready this month.
He told me is the italian photographed ID card and it should be renewed every year. I googled it and it says is valid from 5 to 10 years.
So which one is it??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2014): Why not? You're pretty much his mother at this stage, and boys complain to their mothers no matter how much they support them.
He complains because it's easier to complain than to do something about life.
OP for a lot of people just complaining and do nothing is just what they do.
OP when's his new visa coming? What's his plan in life other than to leech off you and why has not been doing odd jobs to get a bit of cash on the side? When I was stuck that way I bought some cheap window cleaning tools and borrowed a ladder, and went around making cash that way.
There's tonnes of things he can do to ease the financial burden but he's not bothered, he has his surrogate mommy to wipe his arse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014): I don't understand why people put up with this for so long. Men and women alike. Out of love, they finance their partners who are or become lazy and ungrateful...till they teach a point of frustration. Do you want to stay with a guy who, at twenty seven, whines to his girlfriend who is doing her best to support him?
Put your foot down and tell him you won't tolerate his behavior anymore. He's going to continue using you unless you do something. If he complains and tries to guilt trip you for standing your ground, all the more reason to dump him.
Do you want to let all your hard earned money go down the drain (further down the drain at the points)? If your boyfriend will not clean up his act, find a more responsible person to take his place.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014): Been there and had that t-shirt albeit in a slightly different situation. I was with someone who basically refused to seek employment until his hand was forced (not by me)and I was paying for 90% of everything. No longer with him, he's working now but has never offered to pay a single dime back. Take care of yourself, sounds like you're being used big time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 April 2014):
 Why?
Because he takes YOU for granted and HE is UNGRATEFUL as get out of town.
I don't even know why you feel you HAVE to do this.
I get that you love him, but what does he do in return for you? Anything besides the moaning?
If his Visa has expired it is UP to him to FIND a solution and not LIVE of you. You think if the roles were reversed he would take as good financial care of you?
When he DOES find work again, will he pay you back or does he just expect you to give give give financially?
You are SCREWING yourself over. If you say enough, he might throw a "OK then I'll leave" fit so you feel OBLIGATED to take care of him.
What country is he from? How hard is it for him to get his Visa renewed? Is he ACTUALLY working on getting it renewed?
He sounds like a moocher.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014): he is using you...leave
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