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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 29 May 2014: Have you ever asked her specifically to be your girlfriend? Is that what you want?... (read in full...)
My wife told me about her past sex life and now I can't even look at her
Q. My wife told me of her sex life before, she would go on no strings attached websites and meet men ...3 sums , now I feel sick my wife was passed around groups and used as a sex toy and she loved it , now I can't even look at her, what should I do?...
A. 18 April 2014: Hi, you've had lots of responses. Can you provide more detail or a followup?... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 13 April 2014: I think she doesn't really like you as much as you like her. I would stop playing those 'mind games' as you put it. You get too hopeful when she does message you and then reality strikes when she shows that you are really really far from her top ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB falling for me?
Q. I have been in a fwb relationship for almost two months now.he generally emails me throughout the day to see how I am doing or just random talk through emails. I really connect with this man and am catching feelings. If he wasn't feeling the same ...
A. 12 April 2014: So what did you learn from the advice the aunts here gave you?... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 12 April 2014: I hope all is well and no one is being put at risk now. Best wishes to you and I do sincerely hope that your friend finds the help she so obviously needs. And I do hope that newborn has the chance for a long and healthy life.
Be brave, be kind... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 12 April 2014: Hi there, I hope you are well, were you able to make contact with the university's counseling service? I hope so! :)... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 11 April 2014: So if she won't come clean, tell him and prepare for the end of the 'friendship.' ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 11 April 2014: And this woman is your best friend?... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 10 April 2014: Go and see the doctor and explain your symptoms. Depression isn't detected through bloodwork, though it does have physical effects.
And if you are in the US, yes, most universities provide that service for their students. After all, it's a stre... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: Just saw your followup. So your friend is a prostitute? A sex worker, only one without ethics? Is she also an addict? If she's stealing food and money even though she is being supported then perhaps she has an addiction to feed. If she's been ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: P.S. One of my good friends is a doctor who used to take care of HIV patients as part of his practice. He said he lost track of how many patients came into him, suddenly HIV positive, bewildered because they had done nothing that would cause them to ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: How is it that you are best friends with a woman who has lots of unprotected sex to the point that she gets pregnant and sleeps with men who may have HIV? At a certain point, I think I'd tire of the drama and self-destructive tendencies.
A... (read in full...)
Has anyone lost the love of their life? Do I keep fighting? And how do I deal with the thought of her with someone else?
Q. Hi All, Here's my situation that I need advice on: I was dating a girl for around 6 month who I was madly in love with, she was the girl of my dreams, I have never been happier. Then all of a sudden one day she turns round to me and says s...
A. 10 April 2014: Almost everyone experiences a break up. You call her the 'love of your life' but you in your early 20s. How can you possibly know if that is the case? You may have needed to her break up with you so you can meet a far more compatible woman. Have ... (read in full...)
His family and friends hate me because of our past
Q. Please bear with me as this could be long. I got into a relationship a while ago with a man who I'd been friends with for a while. Things were great to start and as we'd been friends so long our families and friends all got along with each other. I...
A. 10 April 2014: I'm late to this one, you've had some really great advice here. I just want to point something out to you.
You are the emotional mopping up person. You are the one who was cheated on and had to deal with it. You were the one who was expected to t... (read in full...)
Is it usual practice to do STD tests for male infertility? Should I get tested too?
Q. My boyfriend went to the doctors for a general check up. He told the doctor that he was thinking of having kids in a couple of years, but didn't want to find out if he had fertility issues when it was too late so he asked if there was any way of ...
A. 10 April 2014: I think it would be logical to do so. Some STDs affect sperm. For example, Chlamydia damages sperm and sperm motility: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/85553.php
According to that article Chlamydia is the most common STD in the UK. It can ... (read in full...)
My wife told me about her past sex life and now I can't even look at her
Q. My wife told me of her sex life before, she would go on no strings attached websites and meet men ...3 sums , now I feel sick my wife was passed around groups and used as a sex toy and she loved it , now I can't even look at her, what should I do?...
A. 10 April 2014: Is there going to be a follow up from the OP providing more background? That would help the aunts provide appropriate advice.... (read in full...)
If he likes me why avoid touching me?
Q. please help me understand this if a guy likes a girl why would he avoid touching her.? there is one of my male friend he talks to me stares me does everything that makes me and my friends feel he likes me but he avoids to touch me he does touches ...
A. 9 April 2014: Well, it could be that he is so painfully shy around you he perspires so freely that he is afraid of touching you with sweaty clammy hands. That's one option. Another possibility is that he's a bit odd and makes faces a lot and just basically acts ... (read in full...)
Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?
Q. A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...
A. 9 April 2014: Based on your followup, I'd say he's a caring person who wants to be kind and make you feel better. I see only friendship here.
I do hope you have sought some counseling? I think it would be very healthy and healing for you do to so.
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Why didn't he ask me out on a second date?
Q. I went on a blind date the other week.(we both know what each other looks like) He was very excited about meeting me-so he drove 2 hours to my town so we could go out to dinner. I let him pick me up at my house ..we went to eat and the conversation ...
A. 9 April 2014: A friend of mine was in bed for a week with a bad flu. She probably should have gone to the hospital. A neighbor is on bed rest recovering from a case of pneumonia, he was hospitalized for 3 days. These are otherwise healthy, physically fit people ... (read in full...)
Why can't she just wake up and see life away from this idiot?
Q. Why do people stay with abusers? Especially alcoholics who get nasty when they drink? I have a friend in this situation, she is married but they have no children and it would be straightforward for her to leave but all she does is complain and get ...
A. 9 April 2014: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1296#5 Funny, I was just referring this website to another user here.
Here's the text from the link I just gave you:
"t’s understandable that you’re i... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be-deported husband is spending my money on his mother and told me not to spend it on my own parents! Any ideas what to do?
Q. My husband is to be deported and is currently detained by immigration. I have financially supported him for a long time now and also whilst he is in immigration detention i have sent money and visited 3 times per week. He has been detained now for ...
A. 9 April 2014: Something about this question reminded me of other posts with a similar situation:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-my-husband-call-me-names-and.html
http:... (read in full...)
Do men find a curved tummy a turn off?
Q. I was wondering if men find a curved tummy a turn off? I'm not overweight by any means (although I used to be), nor am I particularly thin. I'm probably relatively average for girls my age in my country (about size 10, 5ft7/170cm, 65kg/143lb)but my ...
A. 9 April 2014: You have a boyfriend? If he was turned off by the curved belly, he would be gone. Don't ask him if your belly bothers him, ask him if he thinks you are attractive. You probably won't believe him if he says 'no' to the first question, but you stand a ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 9 April 2014: Maybe she just thinks it's normal for both of you to answer messages after 3 or 7 or more days?
If you fancy this girl, it's time to forget about dating her, she's clearly not interested.
If you are casual acquaintances with this girl, well, yo... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be-deported husband is spending my money on his mother and told me not to spend it on my own parents! Any ideas what to do?
Q. My husband is to be deported and is currently detained by immigration. I have financially supported him for a long time now and also whilst he is in immigration detention i have sent money and visited 3 times per week. He has been detained now for ...
A. 9 April 2014: Is he being deported because of domestic violence toward you?... (read in full...)
Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?
Q. A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...
A. 9 April 2014: This all sounds like a friend to me. I think a guy who was interested in you beyond that would actually ask you out. Assume he's merely being kind and courteous and don't worry beyond that. If he asks you out, great, but don't hold your breath ... (read in full...)
Why did he reject me and how do I move on?
Q. Colleague at work- who we've been up and down for a year . Recently he is back to flirtign and we get on like a house on fire. I have tried to move on which he knows about!! He over hears me talking to a friend saying how i still like this man et...
A. 9 April 2014: I would play it exactly as he has chosen to respond. With no response.
Look, you made the move, you tried, you gave it a shot, it didn't work, now you accept that it isn't going to happen the way you hoped and you do the very boring thing call... (read in full...)
My friends are getting married and starting families while I'm still chasing casual sex and other cheap thrills.
Q. A really good friend of mine just announced to me about a couple of days ago that he's getting married. Obviously, I'm really happy for him but strangely enough, there's also another part of me that feels a little nostalgic and wistful. I remember ...
A. 8 April 2014: Aren't you on Prozac? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-do-you-prefer-it-when-a-man.html And your stated concern in this question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/after-premature-ejaculation-with-sex-workers-im-worried.html was that you fear ... (read in full...)
Did my B/f enjoy the anal play?
Q. Hi everybody. Keep it simple. I've been with my boyfriend just over four years. We've always had a good sex life but never really experimented with anal play. This was due to a previous experience I had when I lost my virginity with a different...
A. 8 April 2014: I'd leave well enough alone, if you two are comfortable enough with each other to express your feelings and desires, then he'll let you know if he would like something like that again. You could say 'well, if you ever want to try it again I'm good ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB falling for me?
Q. I have been in a fwb relationship for almost two months now.he generally emails me throughout the day to see how I am doing or just random talk through emails. I really connect with this man and am catching feelings. If he wasn't feeling the same ...
A. 8 April 2014: The signs a guy is falling for you is that he makes an effort to take you out, to ask you what you like so he can surprise you with his thoughtfulness, he introduces you to his friends, he moves heaven and earth to be with you even if there is no ... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 8 April 2014: I think you would benefit from Al-Anon, you won't be left wondering what he's thinking any longer. What matters is what you are thinking and how you are taking care of yourself. One thing I think you have done is isolate yourself and your situation ... (read in full...)
I thought getting married would fix her insecurities, but she is still acting abnormal and crazy on a daily basis. Do I let her file for divorce or stay and try to work it out?
Q. Its been a while agony aunts since I wrote in. Same or similar story, same girl. This time I really did it though. I went and married her on December 21st, 2013. Didn't take the advice, I tried, unplugged for a whopping 4 weeks, thought I was doing ...
A. 8 April 2014: Good luck with facing your own issues. Be sure you get help for your children too. You can get a referral from your doctor, or your lawyer, and both of them should be on your speed-dial now. Document everything, all the texts and emails and do not ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but want to have sex with a married man
Q. I am 26 years old I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, he is 20 years older than me. We bought a house together last year, I love him more than anything but the spark in our sex life has dissapeared. I want to have sex with someone else, there ...
A. 8 April 2014: I wasn't actually joking, I didn't understand what the poster wanted help with. I guess as she hasn't replied, she's not really looking for any help.... (read in full...)
How do I re-enter the dating world?
Q. OK, this question's something a bit different, but still relationships-focused, here goes. I'm 28, been single for 6 years now, last relationship was in March 2008 (it was a 2 1/2 year long one), so you can see just how long ago that was. It end...
A. 8 April 2014: I think you are missing the best way to meet people. Recruit your friends and family to help you find someone! Tell your friends and family that you are ready to date again and want to find someone who is compatible with you. Get them to do the ... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone but medical staff in the room during delivery!
Q. I want to be on my own when i give birth in july...i would like my husband anf family waiting but for my own personal reasons i dont want amyone in the room with me (obviousley apart from any midwives or doctors) but i know my husband really wants ...
A. 8 April 2014: How do you bring it up for discussion? Well, he's your husband, you made this child together, you two are a team. So, you share your personal reasons with him and appeal to his compassion for you. In other words, your personal reasons are more ... (read in full...)
This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync
Q. I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...
A. 8 April 2014: Is this the very first time you have come to question your core values?
I'm disappointed in you that you didn't reach into your wallet and pull out a $5 or $10 or $20 bill to hand to this man, this way he could choose his own food. Your stated core... (read in full...)
The PMS is so bad it's threatening my relationship
Q. I suffer from pms. Probably pmdd. A week or two before my period I can literally turn into the incredible hulk. Waves if negative emotions that includes outbursts , rages, irritability, sadness, anger, and low tolerancy levels. So I went to my gyn ...
A. 8 April 2014: First, get back to your doctor and get this dealt with properly, discuss those supplements you bought over the internet with her or him and tackle this severe PMS with proper medical help.
If your boyfriend mocks you or pokes fun at you for a medi... (read in full...)
Why is he pushing me to drink alcohol? Is there something weird about his actions?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for a little while now and we met at the club, and i was drinking a little and just being fun. ( no sexual stuff involved.) After that I've noticed that everytime we go out, and alcohol is present he pushes me to drink...
A. 8 April 2014: It sounds rude to me, when you've clearly said, "no, thank you," to pressure you to drink like this is a red flag. I would make it very clear, "NO, thank you, I do not want that." If he keeps pressuring you then I would no longer go out with him.... (read in full...)
I am in love with his brother, help?
Q. I am 20 years old and have been in a relationship with this guy for nearly 4 /2 years, I dont know if I feel the same about him like I used to, sex doesn't work anymore and I feel as though the spark has gone. However a few months back I got drunk ...
A. 7 April 2014: I think this situation you put yourself in is a sign that the relationship with your longterm boyfriend has run its course. Part of the reason you cheated on your boyfriend with his brother was in retaliation for your boyfriend's prior cheating. ... (read in full...)
How do I get a grip? I am in a jealous, blinded rage and don't know what to do about it
Q. This may be long, so sorry, but I am pouring myself out here. I had an earlier post about my husband talking about a younger female coworker (12 years younger than me) for a couple of years and then suddenly not talking about her. They work in the...
A. 7 April 2014: I saw this post from you. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-stopped-talking-about-this-female-coworker-what.html
Have you ever talked to him about these feelings you have? Your mistrust, your distaste for the way he interacts with other wome... (read in full...)
A bridal shower the second time around?
Q. Ok, so if you have been widowed young and get remarried again, is it improper to have a bridal shower if you had one the first time?...
A. 7 April 2014: OP, don't fall into the trap of punishing bridesmaids for not spontaneously throwing you a bridal shower. That will only create more drama.
How many people are you having in the bridal party? Are they from his side or are they all your side? Are ... (read in full...)
We had one threesome and now my partner wants to do it and I don't!
Q. Hi Ive been dating a guy for a little over a year now. We see each other every weekend and once maybe twice through the week. We have an amazing sex life and we enjoy each others company, we have the same interests and everything is just...
A. 7 April 2014: He doesn't understand that you don't want to do it again because you are avoiding the subject. He thinks it was fun and that you were okay with it.
As you are not okay with it, you will have to be honest, open and frank with him about it, so that... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but want to have sex with a married man
Q. I am 26 years old I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, he is 20 years older than me. We bought a house together last year, I love him more than anything but the spark in our sex life has dissapeared. I want to have sex with someone else, there ...
A. 7 April 2014: So what's your question?... (read in full...)
I've lost interest in my husband but I feel trapped because we've been together for so long
Q. I've been married for 23 years and have 3 grown up children, so for the last 3 years I haven't had sex with my husband. I miss having sex yet I don't fancy my husband anymore. He has a low sex drive anyway and he has let himself go, putting on 3 sto...
A. 4 April 2014: So what do you want the aunts' help with here? You aren't going anywhere but you aren't happy.
I think you have a few options:
1. Your husband may have depression or other medical condition causing his weight gain and loss of libido. Get him to a... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pretending to be separated from his wife so they can collect additional benefits?
Q. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago. He'd separated from his wife a year before we met but they weren't divorced yet. He'd managed to get his own council flat so I took that as proof that he was single. I now start to wonder if they are just pretending ...
A. 4 April 2014: Is this guy your newly ex-boyfriend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-would-my-boyfriend-tell-me-he-wants.html
The situations sound identical. The guy who is 'separated' from his wife, who has met you and he said in front of her and his son ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend tell me he wants a baby when he doesn't even want to live with me?
Q. My boyfriend told me in January that he wants a baby. I was delighted and started eating a healthy diet and looking for a job in his area as I assumed we would of course be moving in together. I never discussed that stuff with him at the time tho...
A. 4 April 2014: Is this guy your newly ex-boyfriend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-boyfriend-pretending-to-be-separated-from.html
The situations sound identical. The guy who is 'separated' from his wife, who has met you and he said in front of her and ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend tell me he wants a baby when he doesn't even want to live with me?
Q. My boyfriend told me in January that he wants a baby. I was delighted and started eating a healthy diet and looking for a job in his area as I assumed we would of course be moving in together. I never discussed that stuff with him at the time tho...
A. 4 April 2014: All you need to focus on is this: "I told him if you want to stay with me at all even without having a baby you need to get a divorce or I'm leaving you-and he said you'd better leave me then!"
Leave him. You are wasting your time and missing oppo... (read in full...)
I thought getting married would fix her insecurities, but she is still acting abnormal and crazy on a daily basis. Do I let her file for divorce or stay and try to work it out?
Q. Its been a while agony aunts since I wrote in. Same or similar story, same girl. This time I really did it though. I went and married her on December 21st, 2013. Didn't take the advice, I tried, unplugged for a whopping 4 weeks, thought I was doing ...
A. 4 April 2014: Are you here for actual advice (as you didn't take the advice given the last times you posted) or is this just more of a rant? I think your situation is beyond amateur agony aunts. You're trapped by your own choices and don't know how to get out, ... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 4 April 2014: He means that what he hears from you is "blah blah blah" …. in other words, he's not listening to you. He's got some idea in his head and knows that you just need to be outwaited by him.
He's still drinking then. He's an active alcoholic look... (read in full...)
I made a mistake. Now how do I choose between my pregnant wife and unborn child, and the love of my life?
Q. Between 2006 to 2009, I was dating this amazing and wonderful girl, due to the long distance of our relationship, she suggested we take a break from our relationship to finish our education, I was so hurt but I agreed. During this period, an old ...
A. 4 April 2014: Hello? Counseling?... (read in full...)
I made a mistake. Now how do I choose between my pregnant wife and unborn child, and the love of my life?
Q. Between 2006 to 2009, I was dating this amazing and wonderful girl, due to the long distance of our relationship, she suggested we take a break from our relationship to finish our education, I was so hurt but I agreed. During this period, an old ...
A. 3 April 2014: The way I would think about this situation is how you would explain yourself, standing in front of a group of people, or better yet, explaining yourself to your child when that child is an adult and mature enough to look at you through experienced ... (read in full...)
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