A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I will be together for four years the end of June. We got engaged the end of this January and I wanted to figure things out with my education before we got into the thick of wedding planning. I'll graduate with my Bachelor's in English Spring 2016 but I want to try and get married during the middle of Fall 2015. We both come from extremely financially strapped families and of course, both of our families are rather large.We also want most of our mutual friends to be a part of the big day and make the wedding OURS. We've already got a theme going (Harry Potter with touches of Halo the video game) and have picked out the wedding party (we will have seven bridesmaids and seven groomsmen). We also have a budget that, if you think about it realistically, is $0. However, my parents have offered to apply for a credit card for $3000 and we're lucky enough to have a few talented friends and family members who would be willing to do certain jobs as a wedding gift.Unfortunately, given the cost of inflation and how expensive venues are, I literally can't see us affording much more than a courthouse ceremony and a private dinner with our immediate families. Something's gotta give... Am I asking for too much?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 April 2014):
 Will you be paying back student loans too?
If your budget is essentially $0 and your parents would have to pay off that $3000 credit card over time, if they make the minimum payments only it will take them 16 years and that $3000 credit will actually cost them in interest charges on top of that: $6,641. So putting your wedding on a credit card will wind up costing you $3,341 more than you actually paid. Not a good investment at all.
You are making the right investment in working on your education.
It sounds like you have a large and loving family and lots and lots of friends. So make it less of a formal wedding (which is expensive and frankly often very forgetable) and make it a damn fun party.
Have everyone dig out their white Christmas lights and string them all over the largest back yard you can borrow. Borrow white tablecloths and have people bring clear glass vases and jars filled with flowers from their gardens. Hire a really good bbq truck or other similar food vendor to 'cater' the food. Have a good friend DJ the music, bringing his or her own stereo equipment.
Basically, throw out the idea of hiring a venue, dress up the space with stuff that people already have in their homes. You may have to rent chairs. See if anyone has access to the local HS theatrical department's props.
Brainstorm.
Please don't go into debt financing a wedding if you still have student loans to pay off, and don't make your parents go into debt either.
Readjust your expectations and get creative and I'll bet you have the most interesting wedding that people will enjoy and talk about for years to come.
Wait another year if you need to save up a little bit after you've come up with your brilliant new plan. :)
Congratulations and good luck!
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (11 April 2014):
 You know what, I think that $3,000 is quite a LARGE budget and I wouldn't spend even that much if you don't have to - and you don't.
You can think out of the box and buy a dress at a second hand store and alter it to suit you, you can also get them on mark down end of season for a fraction of the price, new.
Look for coupons and deals online to bring down the cost of venues, favors, food etc.
You could cater for the party yourself or buy the food and hand family cater for you.
You can shop around for just about everything for a wedding to get the best deals and use a little imagination and think out of the box.
Do you really need this or that, if not, can you find a cheaper version or go without?
Ask yourself if you honestly HAVE to have certain things and decide if you can take them out all together.
Think about the day as a special day no matter what - a courthouse wedding isnt a terrible thing! Think of that as small and intimate then throw a giant party?
I got married at a courthouse, paid $50 for the privilege and self officiated at home with friends. To me it wasn't a big deal to do the actual marrying, it was a bigger deal that we were married at all. Getting married is such a pressure for people but it really doesn't have to be!
I love the idea of looking online for ideas and do agree with that - but try not to go into debt just to get married, it can be a lot of fun, even on a budget, if you just think out of the box!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): Well you could wait an extra year and save if you like, OP.
Mine was an Italian castle, very extravagant to the point of embarrassment but made amazing by fact of the people there, roughly 200 family, friends and acquaintances all drunk and wasted for three days in a castle was a sight to behold. But it could have been anywhere, we just wanted to throw a fun party.
If we had no money we'd have just rented a barn from a farmer and done it up ourselves or a friend with a big house and done it there.
Neither of us are religious and my wife was one of these women who didn't dream of a traditional wedding just dreamed of it being with an amazing man and a special moment. I guess dreams don't always come true then hehe.
OP you're going for a themed wedding. That means the venue you pick doesn't have to be a wedding venue with the traditional and very pricey trimmings.
All you need is a large space, some friends with some crafting skills and materials to make the place look awesome, like Hogwarts or the inside of a covenant ship and instead of a caterer you could have a giant BBQ and buy your own booze or something.
Getting a minister to turn up to say the vows is easy as hell, and you'll even find one who will dress up too.
OP a wedding doesn't have to be a wedding if you know what I mean. All the actual thing is, is saying I do and putting on some rings, and signing some crap. The rest is just a party with food. Find a big enough place, do it up with your friends and have a blast.
You can always renew your vows and have a more traditional one in the future if you like.
if you're going for a fantasy themed wedding then you have a lot of scope to plan something awesome.
Take your time, keep researching locations and don't stress too much. You have a year to come up with something and remember, it may the most special day in your life thusfar, but at the end of the day it's also just an awesome party. It doesn't have to be so formal, except of course for the 20 minute ceremony stuff.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 April 2014):
 We went to vegas and got married last year. All guests were invited to join us at their own expense for travel and hotels but we paid for dinner after the wedding for everyone.
it was not all that expensive and it was fun.. most folks WANT to go to vegas for a long weekend and a wedding is a great excuse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): If I had to do it all over again, I would have eloped minus all the hoopla and the expense. Then, when we could have afforded it, I would have held a small reception at a parents home or our home for relatives and friends. We did wait 10 years to go on our honeymoon, again simply because of the expense.
To be honest, if your parents are financially strapped I wouldn't be asking them to take out a $3000 credit card debt for a wedding. It is nice of them to offer, but I couldn't do that to my parents.
I would say elope or wait until you can truly afford to have the wedding that you want. Don't spend money you don't have.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 April 2014):
 Good news. Out of curiosity, I typed " wedding on a 3000 $ budget " and it just oozes with entries from different wedding forums and weddings sites, with suggestions to stay within that price range.
It looks literally like a few hours of perusing, so I'll leave that pleasure to you :). Anyway, at a first glance, it sounds that's very doable, and won't even look cheap or " make do ", but you'll have to tweek something from your ideal scenario, You'll have to decide what you absolutely can't do without, and manage the rest accordingly. Like, if serving alcohol and a full meal is an absolute must, know that for just 80 guests that will be above 2000 , so you will have to either pare down to the essential your guest list, or invite everybody but just offer a finger food buffet or a champagne - and -sweets reception, or something like that .
You already have people offering to contribute with their work, anyway another suggestion that sounds useful is to contact students at their last year of professional school, they'll be happy to enrich their portfolio in change of a small donation or even for free, so you can contact aspiring photographers, wanna be chefs and pastry chefs, future beauticians etc.
You've got time to go bargain hunting for venues caterers and all .. , so - get moving and best wishes.
Btw, OP, I swear I am not making fun of you, but I am just surprised- and clueless I guess . How do you do a Harry Potter themed wedding ?.... All the guests wear small round eyeglasses ? The best man dresses up as Dumbledore ?...
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 April 2014):
 I'm not sure what a typical wedding in the US comprises of, but you can go non traditional and still have a fun time with all your family and friends, while on a budget.
Second hand or hired/borrowed wedding dress. Are seven bridesmaids really necessary, it seems like overkill to me, however, that's your choice.
Have a theme, get them all to wear something rockabilly, or, if they are all different sizes and shapes ask them to purchase their choice, but in a specific colour.
Have your wedding in somebody's back garden, borrow lots of BBQs and have gourmet bbq (one of my son's did this), decorations are easy, sew lots and lots of bunting, you can even go more budget and make these out of tissue or crepe paper.
Alcohol is often the largest expense at weddings, look for ways to cut down the consumption.
Go all posh with cocktail frocks and instead of a big reception put on a "high tea" at an afternoon event, crisp white cloths, tea or good quality coffee and lots of yummy cakes and the like.
And if you cant afford to get married this year put the wedding off for another year. It's not a good idea to start married life with a big debt hanging around your shoulders. You may need to be a little more realistic reconciling your dream wedding with the practicalities.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): I got married a couple years ago--we had just finished school, started our careers, and had little to no money. Thankfully, we had parents chip in and we had a pretty good reception in the range of 150-170 people in attendance for dinner. We even had a couple kegs of beer for guests, wine, decorations, cake, and champagne for the toasts. All in all, we probably spent in the range of $5,000 for the reception (wedding dress and photographer all cost money above and beyond this). We also used a family member for music as he regularly did DJ work. For the area we grew up, which is where we were married, it was a pretty average reception.The easiest way to increase the cost of a reception is to invite a lot of guests. Thus, one of the easiest ways to decrease the cost of a reception is to invite fewer guests. If you are paying for the wedding, make sure that YOU control the guest list. Don't invite long lost relatives. Don't invite friends that you are not close with. Make a list and put people in one of three categories: 1) Must invite; 2) should invite; and 3) could invite. This may help you narrow your guest list down to those that ultimately get invited by you. Also, skip things that people don't care about, i.e., favors. Furthermore, since it is customary to purchase the wedding party a gift, you could opt to have a smaller wedding party so you have fewer people to purchase for.I have been to weddings where people invite an inordinate amount of guests but go on the cheap and cheap for the wedding itself (in my mind, this means no alcohol--this is, in my opinion, especially bad when it is not even available for bridesmaids or groomsmen). Frankly, I do not enjoy attending those weddings in the least. If you want a reception, you can make it happen--just be realistic about who you invite and the kind of dinner, music, and cake that you have. Finally, your reference to the credit card is a little unclear. I would not advise you or anyone to take out $3,000 in credit card debt to pay for a wedding. Credit card interest is extremely high and you will pay back much more over time than you would like. Getting into debt for a wedding is not a great way to start out a marriage. In the end, all that matters is that the two of you are married--tailor the reception to fit your situation and don't get in debt over it. You will have many other things to spend money on together in the future such as a house, children, etc.Best wishes and congratulations!
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