A
male
age
41-50,
*ommy2k7
writes:I need some advice on my dating advert please!:Sociable and friendly guy would like to meet a warm-hearted girl for laughter and maybe more. I'm a good listener, so lets talk!I have been to Cologne recently, really loved it and going to take my sister there for her 30th next year. Some pictures are up on here.Friends and family are very important to me; I couldn;t do without them. I have a great sense of humour, quite zany, quirky and cheeky at times - laughter is the best medicine! A sense of humour is a must in a relationship for me, that and a great personality.I enjoy food a lot, nothing like a good old steak or roast dinner, washed down with a nice beverage.On to another of my can't-live-withouts: music. It makes me dance, cry, or just feel good. There are too many artists I like to list here, so I shall just have to tell all later!I love films, and going to the cinema.I am a self-employed computer engineer, my goal in life is to become more successful in my chosen career and maybe work for Microsoft. I am doing a BSc (Hons) in Computing and IT for me to be able gain the extra knowledge so I can further my career.I love reading, from horror to crime.What do you think? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (5 December 2014):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou; I have removed quite a bit now (including the SF bit!). What do girls look for in a man's dating profile?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2014): There is nothing in any of the drafts that suggests at you being an interesting individual. Perhaps that is the key here, and why you have been on dating sites for more than a year. You need to stand out from the crowd, and at present there is nothing about you that does. Get a hobby, find some interests so that in turn you can interest other people. So far, you are a IT worker who likes to watch films, and popular TV shows, read and has met a few B List celebs. All the celebs dont eat at sticky fingers; more like Nobu and Chiltern Firehouse. By mentioning that last bi you are sounding like a wannabe thats not hitting the mark. To be more original, find somewhere you like to eat, and include that instead of saying you like SF because of other people.
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (5 December 2014):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have removed some of the 'padding'. I will let you know how I get on
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (3 December 2014):
As much as it seems that the purpose of your profile is for a woman to get to know a bit about you to see if they're interested, it's not. The real purpose is simply to get them interested enough to contact you. So everything in your profile needs to be vetted: will it help make a woman contact you?
Looking at your revised profile I question whether a lot of the info there would do that. Will a woman want to meet you because you've met a few famous people and ate at this restaurant? That's your call, but I doubt it. There are other similar issues.
Also "my goal in life is to become more successful" makes you sounds unsuccessful right now and, honestly, is a goal that most people share. It sounds as if your future rides on Microsoft.
A great personality is something everyone wants,but it means something different to everyone. Make it so a woman reading it might think to herself that she's your type.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 December 2014):
 So a bit of a concern I see is that you say you love going to the cinema but haven't been since 2008. That's a long time. If you love going to the cinema, why have you not been to a film since that year? Someone reading your post may notice that and wonder too. It would send up a red flag to me.
I would not mention that you haven't been to any festivals, that again might raise the question: why, if you love music, have you not? It almost sounds like you are agoraphobic or extremely shy.
I'm also wondering why you say that music makes you cry. Does it make you feel good or feel bad? I would tweak that somehow to say that music moves you, but do be specific about which type of music it is. The combination of not going to the cinema despite saying you love it and music making you cry could suggest to potential love interests that you aren't doing the things you really love to do and would open the question as to why you aren't.
I would include the computer engineer career status and the fact that you are furthering your education.
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (2 December 2014):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNext draft:I have been to Cologne recently, really loved it and going to take my sister there for her 30th next year. Some pictures are up on here.Friends and family are very important to me. A sense of humour is a must in a relationship for me, that and a great personality.I have met a number of famous people in my life so far, Richard O'Brien, Chris Tarrant, Pat Sharp, Tina Arena (the pop star), Johnny Vaughan, the Duchess of York, and I also have eaten in Sticky Fingers, which was where all the celebs eat.On to another of my can't-live-withouts: music. It makes me dance, cry, or just feel good. I love a bit of everything really, I haven't been to any festivals, but I have been to the o2 to see Meatloaf, my rock idol. I love films, and going to the cinema, but I haven't been for ages. The last film I saw at the cinema was The Incredible Hulk in 2008; I am a big fan of The Inbetweeners, and I love horror films, especially films like Cannibal: The Musical.One of my favourite TV programmes is Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Deliberately bad acting, but I thought it was funny. Other favourites include The Big Bang Theory and CSI.I love reading, from horror to crime, including books by Peter James. At the moment I am reading a book based on the TV series Supernatural. I also like Damn You Autocorrect!, so funny.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2014): That may actually be worse.Also, stop using the word quirky.Family and friends are important to everyone, don't open with this.The name dropping is honestly pathetic and a bit weird, completely cut it out."On to another of my can't-live-withouts: music. It makes me dance, cry, or just feel good. I love a bit of everything really, I haven't been to any festivals, but I have been to the o2 to see Meatloaf, my rock idol. I love Ed Sheeran's new (ish) video, I can't remember what the song is called now."better than last time but still needs work.Don't say "on to another of my can't live withouts", it's awkwardly phrased really, especially as you haven't really mentioned a previous one."I can't live without music" would be better. "It makes me dance, cry, or just feel good. " is crap."I love a bit of everything really, I haven't been to any festivals, but I have been to the o2 to see Meatloaf, my rock idol. " This bit is really good.Google the Ed Sheeran song or don't mention it.You haven't been to the cinema in 6 years, maybe mention loving film, but not the cinema, again, don't use quirky, it's not an attractive word.Perhaps join tv and film.Most people want to be more successful in their jobs.Leave that part out, and just mention that your enhancing your prospects through education.From horror to crime isn't that huge a jump, just mention a few favourites and what you liked about them in particular.
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (2 December 2014):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is my latest effort:I have been to Cologne recently, really loved it and going to take my sister there for her 30th next year. Some pictures are up on here.Friends and family are very important to me. A sense of humour is a must in a relationship for me, that and a great personality.I have met a number of famous people in my life so far, Richard O'Brien, Chris Tarrant, Pat Sharp, Tina Arena (the pop star), Johnny Vaughan, the Duchess of York, and I also have eaten in Sticky Fingers, which was where all the celebs went, not that I am a name dropper!On to another of my can't-live-withouts: music. It makes me dance, cry, or just feel good. I love a bit of everything really, I haven't been to any festivals, but I have been to the o2 to see Meatloaf, my rock idol. I love Ed Sheeran's new (ish) video, I can't remember what the song is called now.I love films, and going to the cinema, but I haven't been for ages. The last film I saw at the cinema was The Incredible Hulk in 2008; I am a big fan of The Inbetweeners, and I love horror films, especially quirky films like Cannibal: The Musical. I like quirky television as well, like Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Very weird, deliberately bad acting, but I thought it was funny. I am a self-employed computer engineer, my goal in life is to become more successful in my chosen career and maybe work for Microsoft. I am doing a BSc (Hons) in Computing and IT for me to be able gain the extra knowledge so I can further my career.I love reading, from horror to crime, including books by Peter James. At the moment I am reading a book based on the TV series Supernatural. I also like Damn You Autocorrect!, so funny.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 December 2014):
Yeah I agree with Ruby, what makes it not work is not that you like those things, but that EVERYONE likes them. Get into some depth and you're on your way to a profile that actually means something.
As it is now, there's really nothing that defines you there (except as a human being, but that's assumed).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014): Too many exclamation marks - makes you look hyper, unnatural, almost pretending to be cheerful and overly positive.
Profile is too generic - who doesn't like traveling, food, music and films? It lacks personality and sounds the same as 90% of the profiles on dating sites.
Spend more time on your aspirations, your values and your hobbies. Talk about who you are and what defines you. Talk about what makes you unique and why the girl should be interested in you. What do you offer? Do you cook? Do you take good care of yourself? Do you spoil your girlfriend? Do you give back rubs? Are you fun and spontaneous? The only selling point on your profile is that you're a good listener - most guys label themselves as one.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (1 December 2014):
It's pretty good. Well written, good grammar and spelling, nice flow etc.But, it wouldn't leap out at me because it's still a little genericWhen I read dating adverts, I'm often struck by the fact that everyone seems to like the same thing. Just about everybody professes to likeMusicTravelling/HolidaysEating outMoviesSpending time with family and friendsBut experience has taught me that this can mean vastly different thingsSomeone who likes Swedish arthouse movies, classical music and jazz and who dines on caviar at the Savoy whilst boring people with stories of their travels in the Himalayas and the Amazon probably might not get on with the dub-stepping, James Bond fan who spends every holiday in Benidorm and thinks that eating at the local Harvester pub is the height of sophistication.So, I suggest you put in some more details - what kind of music you like, what your favourite movies are, who are you favourite authors, what activities you like doing with your family and friends.You've already mentioned some details when you mention Cologne and steak - I just think it needs a little more for the personal touch.But it's goodGood luck
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (1 December 2014):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did, but I've changed it since then.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 December 2014):
Did you ask this same question last year? Either way you need to go back to the drawing board and ditch all of the cliches unless you somehow feel like you are a living, breathing cliche.
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