A
female
age
30-35,
*opeful-desire
writes:Okay so I've been seeing this guy for 10 months, before him I went through a really rough yime after I went through a bad break up with my long term bf, where he cheated. After I did not deal with it well I had dated people and had ended sleeping with a few people and did things I am not proud of. But have come to terms I cannot take this back. I don't like thinking about it or discussing it.. However he is very forceful in making me. This was before we even met. When I met him I had stopped all this and since the first day we met I've been always faithful to him and only wanted him and have loved actually having that connection again .. Not that I would ever cheat. However, he now wants me to take a polygraph (lie detector test) due to my past? I am completely upset and angry at the idea as I feel this shows he doesn't trust me at all nor does he care to see how much my past experiences upset me. I don't know what to think, feel or do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2014): I agree it's crazy- what exactly are you taking the test for? You've told him a bit about the past you haven't committed crimes,lol. I would break up with him.
A
female
reader, Miss Lou  +, writes (7 November 2014):
This will only get much, much worse. Get out now, before you get injured. I feel that is a huge red flag. He will never, ever let it go. He will use it to shame you and it will get more and more abusive. By the way, you are not the only person who has gone a little wild. Men do it all the time. Please see the writing on the wall here. This man is abusive. I know deep down you know it. You go take care of yourself. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (7 November 2014):
 If this is him on month 10, I'd imagine year 10 is beating you for a guy looking at you. RED, RED FLAG.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (6 November 2014):
It doesnt matter what you did in the past. He has no right to ask you this. Everyone had made mistakes of some kind at some point, but it is a persons own business. Whatever happened, happened before he ever came on the scene and he knows this. I can tell you exactly what will happen if you give into him. He will use this as a way to humiliate you even though the results will come back that you are telling the truth. Next it will be "oh I bet u did a lot of other stuff that I dont know about" and he will want you to take a polygraph based on how many partners you had before him!You are young (I wish I was your age again!) you have options, you have a right to not be judged on the past! He is deeply insecure and has his own issues. Run for the hills. ANYONE who needs to make themselves feel better at your expense is bad news. Best of luck, and remember you deserve better x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Tell him to go kick rocks. YOU DO NOT owe him a polygraph because you had a few flings in the past.
HE doesn't OWN you or your past, nor do he have ANY RIGHTS to your past.
I find it incredibly controlling and VERY ridiculous of him to even MAKE such demands.
What a sicko.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Thats insane.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 November 2014):
 You're dating a bully. "However he is very forceful in making me." "However, he now wants me to take a polygraph (lie detector test) due to my past?"
End it asap.
Maybe you need to figure out why you are making poor choices in dating partners. There are men out there who live in the present and can plan a future. Go find one.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 November 2014):
 IF it was me I would say "how does it feel to want?"
he can WANT you to do it all you want but you have the right to say NO
and I would not only say NO I would say "see ya" you don't need this. YOUR past is your past and while I don't think you should lie about it, you do not need to be interrogated or questioned about it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Yep,I say dump him as well. If all this happened before you met him then he might be a sufferer of Retrograde Jealousy and boy howdy you don't want to have to deal with that can of worms if you don't have to.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 November 2014):
Dump him. You've been through enough already with rubbish men. You don't need yet another one stepping in to ruin your esteem. He has no reason whatsoever to do this. None. He has no right. You've been as honest as you're prepared to be, which should have been enough for him. If he had any kind if respect for you, or cared for you enough, he'd never have asked something like this.
Do not allow another man to treat you badly. He's no good for you, so it's best to get rid of him.
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