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Was my boyfriend jealous of this other guy?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2014)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was at a cooking class with my boyfriend tonight.

It is weird but he seems to have an issue with me talking to other men, even when innocent.

I was talking to this guy in the class tonight. My boyfriend was talking with another group of people and I was talking with this guy. Just talking mind you. I am being social and friendly. That is all.

When my boyfriend saw me with this guy, he came right over and interrupted our conversation. He asked the guy I was talking to "How is your wife?" "Will she be back in class soon?" Because she usually attends with this guy.

And he has interrupted a previous conversation I was having with the same guy.

He has had issues in the past. He thinks my friendliness means I am leading guys on. I am NOT. I am just naturally friendly. I only want to be with my BF.

Could it be he was JEALOUS? I seem to think so. Why would he even be concerned about this??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2014):

It's the OP.

I think it is controlling and rude too.

He just walks up and interrupts the conversation like he needs to be the centre of my attention. First he physically comes over. Just places himself in between the guy and I. Then he says something about the guy's wife.

Tisha and Honeypie, I am not sure I should stay with him. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It has been a good relationship for the most part. But he is very insecure. My past boyfriends have all been bodybuilders and in shape, good looking guys. He is not. He is overweight and 10 years older. And he seems to want to control me and keep me in my place because he might be afraid of losing me. He likes me because I am sweet and agreeable for the most part. He does not like women who are strong and would tell him where to go. He wants someone he can manipulate I think.

I told him I talk to guys and it should be okay. I am not trying to land any of them. But he is insecure. Period. He will always worry. And he won't always say anything if he is jealous but I can tell. He even tries to tell me what kind of job I should have. He is trying to steer me away from jobs where I would be around men.

No, he isn't cheating. I am pretty sure. He is just a bit of a harmless flirt. Helps his self esteem I think. That is where it stops I believe. But man if I am a little flirty with a guy, he gets his knickers in a knot. Almost like a kid throwing a tantrum trying to get your attention, not wanting anyone else to play with his toys!

He tells me how good he is to me. That he is the best. There is nobody else out there like him. He is the only one who can make me happy. The only one who even knows how to please me and satisfy me in the bedroom. He says there is nobody else out there for me. He is the one. He was made for me. On and on....

Not sure. I don't have much bf experience. Was married a long time. He is my first bf after my marriage so I am sort of learning about men again.

Does he sound like a controlling and possessive type? I just worry if it will get worse?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (13 November 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntIt sounds rude and controlling to me too.

One thing I've noted is that those who cheat often express inappropriate jealousy, sort of using the tactic of "a good offense is the best defense" mindset.

You say he has had issues in the past. Hm.

I'm wondering if you aren't involved with a cheating man? Or a potentially abusive one? How long have you been together?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 November 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIt could be he was jealous or just rude? I think it shows lack of trust IN YOU, that he don't want you talking to some guy in a cooking class and depending on how it was done - a tad controlling.

Have you talked to him about this?

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