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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 9 June 2015: If you are the one being told off by doctors and your family, had it occurred to you that the problem lies with you and the way you handle conflict? ... (read in full...)
Do women really regret their sexual past?
Q. This question goes out to the ladies and girls out there. Do you regret your sexual past especially when you've only dated losers then finally one day meet the man of your dreams and you wished he was your first or that you had met him in the past?...
A. 23 February 2015: So, to go back to the original question. Do I regret my sexual past? No. Did I date any losers? Define 'loser.' I dated one or two men who weren't right for me long term. They seemed like a good match at the time but then turned out to have some ... (read in full...)
Do women really regret their sexual past?
Q. This question goes out to the ladies and girls out there. Do you regret your sexual past especially when you've only dated losers then finally one day meet the man of your dreams and you wished he was your first or that you had met him in the past?...
A. 18 February 2015: So it's not so much a moral objection as one that "average" anon male is upset that the only women available for youthful sexual purposes are either a) too ugly to have sex with or b) so pretty and air-headed that they giggled and laughed while ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my current beliefs and accept my partner's past?
Q. Hey guys, I am in a relationship with someone of "20...30... i lost count" sexual partners and past bursts of casual sex with a casual view on sex, in comparison to my 4 partners, including her and conservative values. I love this person and thin...
A. 18 February 2015: "I feel that a mutual respect, love and commitment needs to be involved in sex otherwise there is no emotional pole to balance the objectification of using someone for the pleasure of a base reproductive action, which i feel is degrading. I feel sex ... (read in full...)
Do women really regret their sexual past?
Q. This question goes out to the ladies and girls out there. Do you regret your sexual past especially when you've only dated losers then finally one day meet the man of your dreams and you wished he was your first or that you had met him in the past?...
A. 17 February 2015: Didn't Hugh Hefner advocate total sexual freedom? Anon male, please do advise if you partake of the sexual freedom known as porn?... (read in full...)
Does anyone in a long term relationship still feel in love/the "spark" with their SO?
Q. I'm curious as to whether or not there are long term couples out there who still feel in love after a long time. I've always been dumped/cheated on once the infatuation period wore off so I'm always paranoid about it. My current relationship is ...
A. 17 February 2015: Just to add, if you keep choosing men who cheat on you then you are the common denominator. Or you are just 18 and have gone through the rough teen years of 13-18 where very few people are solidly grounded and know better than to start a new ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my current beliefs and accept my partner's past?
Q. Hey guys, I am in a relationship with someone of "20...30... i lost count" sexual partners and past bursts of casual sex with a casual view on sex, in comparison to my 4 partners, including her and conservative values. I love this person and thin...
A. 17 February 2015: "These women deserve love if they can give you what you need in the present."
Um, does that mean they don't deserve love if they can't?... (read in full...)
Does anyone in a long term relationship still feel in love/the "spark" with their SO?
Q. I'm curious as to whether or not there are long term couples out there who still feel in love after a long time. I've always been dumped/cheated on once the infatuation period wore off so I'm always paranoid about it. My current relationship is ...
A. 17 February 2015: I think you go in and out of phases. Sometimes life sets you up to be super busy or stressed and you can't be all lovey-dovey or even feel very sexual. Other times you reconnect in deep and profound ways with your love that your socks get knocked ... (read in full...)
Do women really regret their sexual past?
Q. This question goes out to the ladies and girls out there. Do you regret your sexual past especially when you've only dated losers then finally one day meet the man of your dreams and you wished he was your first or that you had met him in the past?...
A. 17 February 2015: Dear OP, did you really want people to weigh in on this? Or was this more a desperate hope that you would somehow hear an answer that would ease the pain you appear to be suffering?
Some women will say, yes, I wish I hadn't had sex so young. Othe... (read in full...)
I walked in on my 15 year old cousin masturbating
Q. I walked in on my 15 year old cousin masturbating. My mom told me to go see if he was sleeping and if not tell him breakfast was ready. It was silent and I thought he was sleeping so I peeked in to look and forgot to knock (worst mistake ever) I ...
A. 17 February 2015: What walk in? What phone? Who was masturbating?
Get the drift? Yes, just pretend it never happened and go on about your life and your day and all will be well.... (read in full...)
I have trouble having an orgasm during sex. Can this be fixed?
Q. My problem is with climaxing, Ive only ever orgasm-ed with my ex of five years, we broke up a few years ago, I havent been able to with any men before or after him regardless of what they did oral or hands, by myself I have no issue but I always ...
A. 17 February 2015: I agree with putting the vibrator on the shelf for a while. It doesn't mean you have to give it up entirely.
That being said, some women only reach orgasm using vibrators so if that truly is the case then don't give it up!
If you say you have to ... (read in full...)
Should I move in with boyfriend of 4 months? He's been acting standoffish
Q. I'm widowed but seeing someone. OK he has 2 children 10 and 12 I have 1-19 we have been seeing each other for 4 month. I need to move so I decided to move in with him. I'm unemployed. He owns his house. But lately he's getting stand off ish.but ...
A. 17 February 2015: It's way too early to move in and blend families after only 4 months.
Best to find another place to live as soon as possible. Just because you have to move doesn't mean you have to move in with him. Crash with friends for a week at a time unti... (read in full...)
Online stalking obsession
Q. Hi there, I have a major issue thats been controlling my life, I have a very bad habit of internet stalking people, my boyfriends ex, friends of friends, my ex and his new gf, its like an addiction, it think its interesting watching peoples...
A. 17 February 2015: It doesn't sound like a habit so much as an obsession. I agree with EWO that if you can't handle this on your own then professional help is called for.
Talk to your doctor as soon as possible.
In the meantime, have someone install net nanny ty... (read in full...)
My wife wont talk about our sexless marriage and thinks everything is ok!
Q. Hi I'm been married 27 years After my wife had breast cancer 20 years ago she as gone completely of sex when I try to touch her she just turns around I've tryed talking to her but she's not interested I still love her but ate being regected all ...
A. 17 February 2015: Assuming you are 50 then you married at age 23, and if your wife was the same age, then she was only 30 when she was diagnosed. Twenty years ago, no one was doing mammograms or would expect a woman of her young age to have breast cancer, so the ... (read in full...)
I truly love my boyfriend so why do I want to call this married man?
Q. Dear Aunts, I love my boyfriend of seven years fully. Yet, there's a married man after me. He drops by where I work weekly and always talks with me. He brings me gifts mostly every time and says he simply likes our conversations. I keep telling h...
A. 17 February 2015: Why do you want to call or text this married man? Do you really have to ask?
You must be very bored of your seven years of dating and are waiting for the boyfriend to decide to commit.
Now, you have some right to this, if you are 22 then you star... (read in full...)
Young male, older female, advice for breaking news of relationship to her kids
Q. Hey! I'll get right to it... I'm in a relationship with a woman in her 50s and im in my 20s (male). I started it since i fell in love with who she is after knowing her for a few years and the love is mutual. I just need advice on how to tell...
A. 17 February 2015: You've known her for a while and even had a relationship with her daughter. You're struggling with her sexual history and past (see this question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-get-over-my-current-beliefs.html )
Your situation seem... (read in full...)
How can I get over my current beliefs and accept my partner's past?
Q. Hey guys, I am in a relationship with someone of "20...30... i lost count" sexual partners and past bursts of casual sex with a casual view on sex, in comparison to my 4 partners, including her and conservative values. I love this person and thin...
A. 17 February 2015: Hi Aether, you wrote this question as well: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/young-male-older-female-advice-for-breaking-news.html
So you are dating the mother of a woman you had a long-term relationship with?
So you already have some experien... (read in full...)
Wife and I fought over circumcision
Q. My wife and I recently found out she is pregnant. We don't know the sex of the baby yet and probably will let it surprise us anyway. We were talking about baby names when my wife asked me about circumcision. This wasn't a topic we had ever disc...
A. 17 February 2015: First of all, you have to separate the decision about circumcising your possibly male child from you and your wife's fight about sex. It would be ridiculous to do something to an infant because you are angry with your wife. It would be supremely ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in me telling him how much I love and admire him?
Q. If you like/love someone, should you tell them how you feel even if you KNOW 100% that nothing will happen between you? Like is there any point? Only asking because I have feelings for someone and the only reason I want to tell them is because I ...
A. 15 February 2015: Is this man married or a teacher or supervisor of yours?... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish when I feel that he's too clingy when perhaps he is being concerned and serious about me?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm 21 and before I left to study abroad (6 month exchange program) I was seeing someone (let's call him B) exclusively for about a month. I did not get into an official relationship with him because I felt that it was difficult to ...
A. 13 February 2015: No, you are not being selfish. You aren't in a relationship, you don't have to answer to him, nor are you required to feed into his fantasy about marriage.
If I were in your shoes, and dealing with this type of controlling person, I'd end the rela... (read in full...)
Is yelling a big red flag or not a big deal?
Q. I need some opinions on whether I should be worried about this behavior. I will keep it as brief as possible. My bf and I have been dating for a year and a half. The other night we had an argument. I was calmly speaking the entire time, I'm not on...
A. 12 February 2015: I read the question and your follow up.
Get the hell out of there.
Please do see that therapist whether you are with him or not. You say you grew up in an abusive household. Sorry to hear that. Have you worked through that with a qualified mental h... (read in full...)
My step-mother seems to think what's mine is hers
Q. Hi I need some advice. Ive recently moved in with my dad, he has redecorated the small bedroom for me while he has been redecorating I have been sharing a room with mu little sister and all of my belongings haven't had a place and have been scattere...
A. 12 February 2015: P.S. You said you bought some expensive nail varnish. You also said that she has a job and you don't. Is it possible she believes that her money bought that varnish and that's why she feels it's community property?... (read in full...)
My step-mother seems to think what's mine is hers
Q. Hi I need some advice. Ive recently moved in with my dad, he has redecorated the small bedroom for me while he has been redecorating I have been sharing a room with mu little sister and all of my belongings haven't had a place and have been scattere...
A. 12 February 2015: Label everything you own. Pretend you are living away at uni and sharing with dozens of women. How would you handle yourself if you were in that sort of roommate arrangement?
Get a storage unit of some kind, one of those ottomans where you can hide... (read in full...)
Six year age difference, different religions, oh and I have children and don't really want more.. I want some insight from men here!
Q. I am a 35 year old woman with 2 younger children. I met a man who is 29. He has never been married and has no children. I think he is interested in taking it a step further and wants children. He also says that he loves kids (maybe insinuating he ...
A. 9 February 2015: I'd ask him if he wants to have children, a) with anyone and/or b) with you. You seem to be making a lot of assumptions based on his "beaming."
"I think he is interested in taking it a step further and wants children. He also says that he loves kids... (read in full...)
Should I have been tested for chlamydia?
Q. Hi all, I'd like some advice please. I am currently trying for a baby for a year and I have made an appointment with my OB gyne and my husband has already done a semen analysis, and we will find out the results at the appointment. Anyhow, I do a ...
A. 9 February 2015: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chlamydia/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Good info here.
Your age apparently entitles you to a simple and confidential test so if you are feeling like you want more info before your OB-GYN appointment then be brave and go g... (read in full...)
Should I have been tested for chlamydia?
Q. Hi all, I'd like some advice please. I am currently trying for a baby for a year and I have made an appointment with my OB gyne and my husband has already done a semen analysis, and we will find out the results at the appointment. Anyhow, I do a ...
A. 9 February 2015: P.S. Now is not a good time to omit potentially important details. Be honest about your health and background with the doctor. :)... (read in full...)
Should I have been tested for chlamydia?
Q. Hi all, I'd like some advice please. I am currently trying for a baby for a year and I have made an appointment with my OB gyne and my husband has already done a semen analysis, and we will find out the results at the appointment. Anyhow, I do a ...
A. 9 February 2015: Stop fretting. Your OB-GYN will order the tests needed to determine the best approach.
Relax.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: Why did you marry her and why have you stayed for 9 1/2 years after she told you you were awful in bed?... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: Why did you marry her and why have you stayed for 9 1/2 years after she told you you were awful in bed?... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend worried I will find another man when he is gone on a trip?
Q. My boyfriend is going away for a month with his family next week. It is an annual trip. I went through one of these trips already where he was gone a month last May. He contacted me a lot while he was away and we really missed each other. We were so ...
A. 8 February 2015: Is this the married guy? You've written about him before.
Generally we've seen that a cheater goes on the offensive by accusing the "faithful" partner of cheating or planning to cheat.
Lose this older married man who will never leave his wife. Yo... (read in full...)
Our lack of communication is undermining our relationship
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now. I love him yet I constantly find myself questioning if he loves me as much as I do towards him. We have gone through so many fights and a couple of breakups within the course of our ...
A. 8 February 2015: Lack of trust
Inability to find a mutually agreed upon communication style
Dating for about a year
Multiple breakups
Many fights
You are the one paddling like crazy
Your emotional needs aren't being met
This is simple yet difficult. Stop th... (read in full...)
First partners and oral sex?
Q. When you dated your first boyfriend, did you give him oral sex?...
A. 4 February 2015: No.... (read in full...)
Should I agree that it's OK? My Girlfriend wants to wear transparent clothing that will allow her breasts to be seen to others in public.
Q. Should I let my girlfriend to go braless in public? Will it be okay to allow her? she wants to wear very short dresses, and dresses that allow her breasts to be seen through the fabric and be transparent and be viewable in public. She says she wan...
A. 30 January 2015: In my area, if she was dressing like that, she'd be losing body parts to frostbite and would be dead of hypothermia in a short amount of time.
I guess you must live in a warmer climate.
Did she ask you to guide her choices in clothing? If yes, the... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has went no contact should I pay for his car insurance?
Q. For a while now I've thought may bf of 4th has been seeing somebody else, he wworks away and I don't really see him anymore, we spoke on the phone or via txt most days,anyway 2weeks ago was the last I spoke to hihim, we spoke about him coming bk ...
A. 30 January 2015: This boyfriend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-not-speaking-to-me-not-calling-me.html
Be brave and let him deal with the consequences of his own bad choices.
Send a text to let him know you are done with it and won't pay anything any long... (read in full...)
Is my 61-year-old husband fooling around inside the health club? Or am I just paranoid?
Q. My 61 year-old-husband has a health club membership to use the sauna/shower/steam room. He does not go there to exercise. He is there a few times a week to shower after work before coming home. Is there cause for me to be concerned?? Is it p...
A. 27 January 2015: I'm not the one who used the term "karma" or pointed out the irony that the one who cheated with the married man is now the one worried that he will cheat again.
Though you say now that you aren't worried.
I still think you should have a plan but... (read in full...)
Is my 61-year-old husband fooling around inside the health club? Or am I just paranoid?
Q. My 61 year-old-husband has a health club membership to use the sauna/shower/steam room. He does not go there to exercise. He is there a few times a week to shower after work before coming home. Is there cause for me to be concerned?? Is it p...
A. 26 January 2015: I guessed right then. OP, obviously you'll have to figure out how to cope with knowing he's an unfaithful type.I think you know enough about him to have a sixth sense as to when he is cheating.
So what was your plan should he cheat on you? Now is t... (read in full...)
Is my 61-year-old husband fooling around inside the health club? Or am I just paranoid?
Q. My 61 year-old-husband has a health club membership to use the sauna/shower/steam room. He does not go there to exercise. He is there a few times a week to shower after work before coming home. Is there cause for me to be concerned?? Is it p...
A. 26 January 2015: What could he be doing there for an hour? Maybe he's getting some fresh air and space from an overly clingy and insecure wife?
What evidence, besides his use of the sauna and steam room for 30-60 minutes a couple of times a week, do you have for ... (read in full...)
I can't give girlfriend a vaginal orgasm and it upsets me!
Q. hi, my girlfriend of 8 months has had 15 previous 'lovers' compared to my 2, and she slipped up to day when we were talking about orgasms, she said she has had a vaginal orgasm but not with me, i can make her orgasm through the clitoris no problem ...
A. 26 January 2015: So how many orgasms have you had through stimulation of your balls alone, with no stimulation of your penis?
.
.
I'm serious, please tell us how many times that has happened for you.... (read in full...)
Its a very delicate subject ......
Q. I have a problem with my mother in law who likes to sit on my husbands lap for photos - not every time but just when she feels like it that is what she does. She just gets up off a chair and sits on their lap and this seems 'normal' to them but not ...
A. 25 January 2015: The word that came to mind as I read this is dementia. As in, your MIL seems to be displaying some signs of dementia.
That would account for the odd behavior, and if she's been like this for a whike, why her family brushes it off, because ackn... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl out my head?
Q. I have been married to my wife for 11 years and I do love her we have a child together. The last 8 months I have had another women on mind 24.7. I met her through work well she's a client not a co-worker. The girl is beautiful and in her late 20s ...
A. 24 January 2015: I've been in her situation and knew the guy had a crush on me. Creepy! I avoided him as best I could, I had a great job and found it annoying that had to deal with a hormonal male.
My suggestion to you is that you start observing yourself when you ... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 23 January 2015: One good thing is that you now have some local info on some bad dudes. It's a small town so you can keep an eye on them. Sounds like they've had some practice in this and it couldnt hurt to have you and your buddies there to see if there aren't more ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let go of her old FWBs and it's very hurtful. Do I need to let her go?
Q. I'm in a relationship with this girl, its been almost 6 years together, she's lied to me about serious stuff like old " f and @k buddies" she so claims them to be.. Which are dudes.. Our relationship there's no sex I'm lucky if I get any twice a ...
A. 23 January 2015: You're 30-35 in a relationship "with this girl" for 6 years. She's lied to you, there's no intimacy. If you were a man I would say the same thing. You are in the relationship you allow. Sometimes people in abusive relationships can't see their ... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 23 January 2015: "I guess I'm just worried about how small town minds think, I've only recently transferred to the town I'm in and I just don't need small town gossip or people thinking I'm a bad cop because of her age." Well, you have your police force buddy to... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 23 January 2015: Do you like being a police officer? You seem more focused on the drunk young girl, as you describe her, than on the jackasses who seem to have been about to commit a crime.
What does the code of conduct for your division advise in this situ... (read in full...)
He told me that I am exciting but we have nothing in common. Do you think that's potential for a future?
Q. I have been dating a guy I met online for almost three months. During these period we have had ups and downs, but enjoy each other’s company. We just spend a three day weekend together out of town and although we had a small discussion, overall we ...
A. 23 January 2015: You've had "ups and downs"? At 3 months into a relationship, what could the downs be? There should be nothing but ups! What are these downs?
If a guy says he sees no future, believe him. Don't invest too much into this guy. ... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 23 January 2015: I'm still waiting for the question you want answered.
Please answer the other aunts' questions. Do you have a disability that prevents you from doing so?... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 21 January 2015: Meccamega, you've stated your position and feelings about the situation several times now. Many aunts have offered suggestions and ways to deal with it. You restate your position without any sign that you've read their advice. It's like the aunts' ... (read in full...)
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