A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been good friends with this guy for just over a year, we met through mutual friends. we started messaging each other a couple of months ago just friendly conversation. However he started to tell me that he liked me and wanted to be with me even though he is still with his girlfriend of 2 years. I really like him too, nothing has happened between us just texting but I still feel really guilty. He says that he is not in love with her anymore and that he's prepared to break up with her for me. I know this is wrong, I feel like even if he did break up with her I wouldn't want to be with him as it wouldn't feel right and I would just feel bad all the time as I know of his girlfriend (we're not friends just acquaintances). I've told him that I feel bad but he said that its not my fault it's just he wants me not her anymore. Can someone tell me what to do?
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female
reader, MSA  +, writes (6 November 2014):
 I've been in your shoes just a year ago. Exact same situation. I questioned him time and time again. He explained time and time again why their relationship was not working and why the feelings for that girl faded. Why he wanted to move on. Still I felt bad, because I knew her as an acquaintance too. He told me the day he moved out of their place and was 100% single. We started dating.It's been a year.. we've been through ups and downs. Today, our relationship is stronger than ever. The more I got to know him, the more I understood why it didn't work out between him and his ex... and why he saw something special in what him and I have. Sometimes, the timing isn't as ideal as we would prefer for it to be (in your case, feelings developing before he ends the relationship with his ex). Give him some time and stand firm that you would not begin to date him until he is 100% single. If you believe in your heart that you both have something special, wait for him.. it will be worth it.Good luck!
A
female
reader, Princess_008  +, writes (6 November 2014):
It's definitely not your fault in this matter. This guy does not seem to be serious with his 2 years old girlfriend.
I would advise you to keep away with such a guy!! I mean truly he does not seem to care at all about his gf despite being with her for two years. So, Do you think he will care about you? The situation that his girlfriend is now, in some months, you can be in that. He does not hesitate about breaking up with her. One day he will not hesitate to break up with you for another girl!!
And yeah, if you continue to text him, it will be like a sort of encouragement for him. I pity his girl. You should stop texting the boy.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Whoa let's not drag Dad into this..! I think you should listen to your gut. from the way you write, sounds like HE was initiating all this talk about having a relationship with you and you weren't pushing him to do anything, and you feel guilty about your role, even if it's passive, in breaking up the two. Let that relationship run its course. If he's an honest guy then he is planning on ending things and you didn't do anything to further that along, it was fizzling. But remove yourself from the situation for now so you DON'T feel guilty, you DON'T feel like an instigator of a break up. Even still, I might give him a little space so you don't feel like you've been lined up as a rebound. OR at the least, take things slow.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Wait until he's single and then date him. If he's not single, then don't date him.
The rest is all drama stuff.
Waiting for him to be a stand up guy is keeping you from meeting a stand up guy, by the way. The longer you obsess on Mr. I'll Break Up With Her For You (But Just Not Yet) the longer you won't meet a good guy. Maybe you feel you deserve this type of treatment? Maybe you are one of those women who needs the validation that the man she chooses is so desirable he's already in a relationship?
So. Wait until he's single. If he's not single, then he's cheating and you are the bit on the side. I'm fairly confident that's not what you would want for yourself. Unless your Dad was a big old cheater and that's what you grew up with?
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