A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me 10months ago. However we stayed in touch daily and about 5 months ago we started seeing each other again - sex, holding hands in public, attending family things together, kissing etc. About 2 months ago he started saying he loved me again, and introducing me as his girlfriend. But when I confront him he pulls away immediately and says we aren't dating.He is a commitment phoebe and we had our fair share of battles during our relationship, partly because he could never show he wanted me or the relationship. I know this, and I know him and he is the love of my life (please no harsh comments) I want him to be happy and I know he has a lot of personal battles.Earlier today he called and said he was looking at job opportunities in Australia, and I completely broke down. What do I do? I can't stay in this limbo, I love him and want him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): Dear "in Limbo"...I know it is hard, especially since you sound as if you are "head over heels" for him, but he sounds as if he is in more limbo than you are.It is very hard for people of your ages because (and I mean this to be nice) of maturity needing to become a factor. The professionals would recommend that you start thinking of YOU and make a life for yourself. If he wants to join you, then fine. According to "them", this also interests a man more in you.Another option would be to just put your feelings on the line and tell him what YOU want. Hopefully you could do this tactfully enough to work through some of the problems and not run him off for good. I, for one, am older and single, but have opted to not let any man move in with me unless we are married.Good luck!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Life sucks sometimes. Sounds like you have encountered one of those unhappy life isn't going to go the way I want it to go times.
You're not dating him, he's told you that. Sadly, you will have to go through the mourning of a relationship. It's not nice and it's not fun but you can survive it.
It will wind up being the very best thing, later on, when you look back on it.
Stop having sex with him and see if that changes anything. (Unlikely, I predict.) Stick to holding hands in public and ask him Mom what she thinks about his moving to Australia when you see her again.
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