A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a really close group of friends composed of 2 other girls and a guy. The past year, my guy friend and I have become really close (we're not dating, he's gay). Sometimes we have gone out to parties without these other two friends. They are annoyed by this and I know they're also annoyed because I'll usually pay more attention to what my guy friend asks of me. For instance, if we're out for drinks and I decide to go home, my guy friend will insist I stay until I finally do stay (he knows me well enough to know when I can really stay longer or when I really have to leave and insistance is futile). My female friends on the other hand will let me go and then be annoyed that I never stay with them. I'm not really sure what to do about this... I don't want to lose the girls friendship... Yet, I also feel that I have little in common with them anymore (they like to spend their time criticizing others)... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ishaaa  +, writes (20 May 2012):
 I agree with Tisha. Your female friends, though they may have awesome intentions to be your friend and be there for you, don't seem to understand or acknowledge the fact that there's someone who can understand you more than they can understand you. That combined with the fact that they seem to like criticizing others seems like it reveals that they're a bit shallow.
So you can either spend time with just them to reconnect, or disregard them. [: It's up to you! Do what feels the best and own up the decision.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 May 2012):
 Do you spend any time with the girls in this friendship? Because from what you write, he's getting all your attention. Look, if you feel that they are no longer worthy of being your friends, then by all means, allow the relationship to wither. If you are asking how to fix the situation, then spends some time with them and recognize that they may well feel some sorrow or jealousy that things have changed between you and the male quarter of the group.
In my experience, when this sort of gulf has occurred, there's not too much that can save it. You have seen their less-than-attractive side i their criticizing others.
Why not try to reconnect with them without the BF in the equation and see if you all really have grown apart? It may simply be that they feel left out.
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